19. SUBJECT: LAST NIGHT
In Your Own Words
to: weston.maguire@baderu.com
from: cassandra.belford@baderu.com
subject: Last night
sent: March 22, 2017 at 11:02am
Weston,
I'm really glad you came to the reading last night. I mean, I thought maybe I'd see you there. I figured if I gave you some of the details, you might come. And, would you look at that, I was right.
It was funny how natural it felt for me and Simon to sit and talk with you and Peter. I know more about Peter than a stranger probably should, and you've heard (read?) so much about Simon... and now we've all actually met. In person. Completely bizarre.
I liked Peter a lot. There's something inherently gentle about him that I wasn't expecting to come across in person the way it did in your emails. I felt like I was watching brothers when I was around the two of you. You were constantly in tune with each other, like dance partners.
Simon had a good time, too. But he was being unusually quiet on our way home. Whenever I read my work, especially in public, Simon is full of thoughts and questions. But not last night.
"Did I do something wrong?" I asked, feeling uncertain.
"What? Oh, no, nothing like that. You did great today."
"Thanks," I said, waiting for him to say something more substantial.
"He knows you pretty well, huh?" He was talking about you.
"I guess."
Simon sighed and scratched his head. "Cass, I gotta say something, and I know it's not entirely fair, but if I don't say it, then we wouldn't be us. You know?" I knew. We've never been the kind of people to put off uncomfortable conversations. We lean into the discomfort.
"Are you going to profess your undying love for me?" I wanted him to laugh. He was being too serious.
"Ew. No."
I laughed. His impression of me has gotten pretty good.
The mood was lighter as we kept walking, and he kept asking questions.
I think you confused him. Or anyway, we confused him. He just couldn't believe how well you knew me, and he wasn't sure if he should be skeptical. You have to understand, for as long as I've known Simon, I've kept my "social circle" very limited.
It threw Simon through a loop to see us interact. Especially when those two guys came by our table to say hi to you. I'm not sure if you noticed, but Simon froze, his beer raised halfway to his mouth when he heard that guy talk to me like that.
He's protective of people, and I think it can be frustrating for him to be mentally and emotionally protective while knowing he can't often intimidate people physically.
But then, when you spoke up and the guy left, Simon's discomfort became pure astonishment.
I liked what you said about my ability to desecrate a person's self-confidence... great choice of words.
If it helps, Simon was impressed. I think a part of him thought you were trying to get into my pants.
See you,
Cassie
. . .
to: cassandra.belford@baderu.com
from: weston.maguire@baderu.com
subject: Re: Last night
sent: March 22, 2017 at 12:27pm
Cass,
Who says I'm not?
What would you say if this whole thing, was a long-winded way of me asking you out?
Would you say yes? Would you run away with me? Maybe join the circus? Or, more likely, would you rip me a new one and desecrate my self-confidence? (Also, you're definitely rubbing off on me; I know I said those words last night, but fuck, if that's not all you).
Wes
. . .
to: weston.maguire@baderu.com
from: cassandra.belford@baderu.com
subject: Re: Last night
sent: March 22, 2017 at 1:33pm
Wes,
Don't make things weird when you were doing so well. How was your day?
Cass
. . .
Texts sent March 22, 2017 at 3:09pm:
Sarah Wong: Hi, so we're running late. Simon was wondering if you could take Hank out before it gets dark?
Cassie Belford: Sure. Is Simon okay?
Sarah Wong: He's fine, they're doing an assessment before the medication change. No big deal, just time consuming.
Cassie Belford: Okay.
Sarah Wong: That's actually not all Simon wanted me to ask you about.
Cassie Belford: Is this a favour, like moving his laundry to the dryer? Or is it more questions about Wes and my wellbeing?
Sarah Wong: The latter.
Cassie Belford: That's really not fair. He's sending you in like a trojan horse. A notoriously sneaky plan.
Cassie Belford: Why is he in such a panic over this?
Sarah Wong: He's concerned.
Sarah Wong: Si said that this guy really seemed to like you. Like, like you like you.
Cassie Belford: Is that so unheard of that Simon needs to schedule sporadic interventions?
Sarah Wong: Well, it was pretty clear to Simon that you like Wes, too. I'm inclined to agree.
Cassie Belford: Based on what, exactly?
Cassie Belford: I can tell you right now that you're wrong.
Sarah Wong: Humour me. Simon will be with the doctor for at least another 20 minutes and the wifi in here sucks.
Cassie Belford: Fine. Want to tell me what Simon Says?
Sarah Wong: Well, he said that Weston knew you well. Not everything, maybe, but he knew how you felt about a guy approaching you at the bar. He knew to change the subject when Peter asked about your family. And he said that Wes made you laugh. A lot.
Sarah Wong: Don't get me wrong, Simon's glad that someone's making you laugh. These are all really, really good things. But Simon is just as careful with you as you are toward him.
Sarah Wong: He wasn't expecting you two to be so close... We were caught off guard when you selected a hockey player for your research, but the relationship is so personal now, and Simon isn't sure what to make of it.
Sarah Wong: I know that it's nobody's place to tell you what's right or wrong for you, Cass. But you know how he gets. Simon is thinking ahead. If this ends up being personal, even romantic, we want to know that you're going to be okay.
Sarah Wong: I'm not trying to convince you to do anything or not to do anything. Again, it isn't my place.
Sarah Wong: But I do think you should think this through. Not just for your sake, but for his as well.
Cassie Belford: All done?
Sarah Wong: Yeah.
Cassie Belford: Okay.
Sarah Wong: I hope I'm not out of line.
Cassie Belford: Oh, you're totally out of line. But I get it.
Cassie Belford: You were there too. I know you and Simon have had to take on a lot of my shit... it's not like my life doesn't impact you.
Sarah Wong: We're both going to be there for you. No matter what.
Sarah Wong: You and I might not be best friends, but I care about what happens to you.
Cassie Belford: I know that you care.
Cassie Belford: But I also know this guy's harmless. He and I are getting along, and it feels okay.
Cassie Belford: However, I will take your thoughts into consideration.
Cassie Belford: Can we be done with the conversation, please?
Sarah Wong: Sure.
Cassie Belford: Okay, Hank and I are going for a walk.
. . .
to: cassandra.belford@baderu.com
from: weston.maguire@baderu.com
subject: Mission Impossible
sent: March 22, 2017 at 11:31pm
Cassie,
You don't have to be so grouchy. My day was good, thanks for asking.
Lena, Pete, and I went to see a movie at the theatre downtown. It was another sequel to the Mission Impossible movies. I don't know if it was the 6th, 7th, or 8th. There's no reason to make so many, but Pete and Lena love them. Even though they hate Tom Cruise, they've seen them all.
I bought the tickets, Peter bought the popcorn, and Lena got the candy and sodas.
The spring training program for next year's team starts in a few days, and Peter's been so excited to get back on the ice. I know you're going to be alone for a few days with Simon and Sarah (and Hank?) going to Texas... you should come by training to check out the incoming team (and me, of course.) It was a lot of fun to watch you read your work, so maybe you could come see me play and even it out, y'know? I realize it won't help you with the book, but it could be fun.
If you don't feel like watching a bunch of sweaty hockey players run drills, maybe we could see a movie? Not Mission Impossible obviously, but another movie? It was fun hanging out with you at The Litigator, and I was thinking we could do something this weekend if you're up for it.
Take care,
Wes
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