CH 96

lu ye knew that qi yanbai couldn’t concentrate on work that day, so he had prepared in advance. after helping a few interns fill out their application forms, he didn’t take on any new tasks. instead, he sat at his desk, casually chatting with qi yanbai.

at first, qi yanbai was cautious, like a small animal testing the waters. but gradually, he began to open up and stopped trying so hard to find conversation topics. instead, he spoke whatever came to his mind. he even showed lu ye a few works of his “star students” and took pictures to show off.

“these kids have made significant progress,” qi yanbai, in his teacher mode, couldn’t help but comment, “it seems they haven’t slacked off recently.”

lu ye’s ability to critique most art creations was limited to “looks good” and “this looks good too,” so he squinted his eyes and earnestly admired these colorful masterpieces for a while before responding with just two words.

“not bad.”

“but hasn’t lu mingming, your number one fan, sent you anything?” lu ye teased. “i heard she’s been eagerly waiting for you day and night. my sister’s ears were almost bleeding from hearing about you.”

this reminded qi yanbai, and he put down his phone, went through the paper box from top to bottom, and finally found a music card with lu mingming’s signature at the bottom.

“it’s here,” qi yanbai took a photo and showed it to lu ye, saying, “she drew a crying little rabbit on it.”

unlike other children who were looking forward to their teacher’s return, lu mingming, as an “informed source,” seemed convinced that her teacher qi would not come back. even her card sounded like a farewell message, congratulating qi yanbai on starting a wonderful life with lu ye away from the city.

the cartoon rabbit on the card was drawn sitting on the ground and crying loudly. lu ye, while trying to decipher her mixed chinese and pinyin farewell message, couldn’t help but chuckle and commented, “well, despite the not-so-great farewell message, the rabbit looks quite accurate.”

“why are you making fun of her?” qi yanbai said, a mixture of helplessness and amusement, and asked with concern, “have you thought about how to explain this to her?”

“what’s there to explain? just tell her the truth in a way she can understand,” lu ye said confidently, “you can comfort her better. she listens to you anyway.”

while qi yanbai might not be particularly mature himself, he was excellent at handling children. however, this time, the “gentle star teacher” aura seemed to have failed.

“lu ye, something seems off,” qi yanbai texted lu ye, “mingming seems angry at me.”

qi yanbai couldn’t use his phone during class, but when it was time for the students to work independently after the lesson, there wasn’t as much restriction. lu ye glanced at his phone screen and felt that he could sense qi yanbai’s unease from the few lines of text.

“what’s wrong?” lu ye asked.

“i don’t know,” qi yanbai replied, “but she hasn’t talked to me since the class started.”

while other kids were already focused on their assignments, lu mingming, who had always been the most active, still hadn’t picked up her pen. she crossed her arms, occasionally glancing at qi yanbai, and exaggeratedly turned her head away when their eyes met, almost as if she wanted to write “i’m not happy” all over her face.

qi yanbai sent a message, then observed her quietly for a while, confirming that she was throwing a tantrum. he put away his phone and walked over to her, squatting down.

“what’s wrong, mingming?” since he was closer to lu ye, qi yanbai was more attentive to lu mingming. he first looked at the blank paper in front of her, then turned his head and asked gently, “are you angry about something?”

“i’m very angry!” lu mingming who waited for half a class, finally got qi yanbai to ask her, and all her grievances and resentment surged up. she huffed heavily and accused, “you adults are all liars!”

qi yanbai had never faced such a serious accusation from a student and was momentarily speechless, almost dumbfounded.

“about uncle changing jobs, it was fake, why didn’t you tell me?” lu mingming was furious and her words were all over the place, “you lied to me for so long! if mom hadn’t told me yesterday, i wouldn’t have known!”

despite her sadness for all these days, she still wanted to give them her favorite pair of starlight dew as a farewell gift, and it turned out to be all lies, all tricks played on a child!

lu mingming said angrily, “you’re all big liars!”

qi yanbai: “…”

qi yanbai remained silent for a moment, feeling unjustly accused. he thought to himself that he had been deceived as well. he had only known the truth twenty-four hours earlier than she did.

however, he couldn’t explain the situation between him and lu ye in detail to the child, so he could only reluctantly accept the blame and apologize to lu mingming in a gentle tone.

but lu mingming had been holding this grudge for a long time, and it was clear that it couldn’t be resolved with just a few words. she remained upset, even until the end of the class. when she saw lu ye, she didn’t even greet him warmly as usual. instead, she just hummed and avoided eye contact.

“oh, she’s really angry,” lu ye said after hearing the whole story from qi yanbai. he reached out and patted lu mingming’s head, admitting his mistake, “little niece, i know i was wrong. i shouldn’t have lied to you. how about i buy you ice scream later?”

“don’t change the subject!” lu mingming said angrily. “i am really angry.”

“yes, i know, and i’m sincerely apologizing,” lu ye said, squatting down in front of her, looking serious. “i shouldn’t have lied to you and made you upset. i promise not to do it again. so, can you forgive me?”

“it’s my fault,” lu mingming hadn’t spoken yet when qi yanbai suddenly interjected, “if it weren’t for me—”

qi yanbai wanted to say that if he hadn’t locked lu ye up, lu ye would have been able to explain everything to lu mingming earlier. however, this reason seemed a bit inappropriate for a child, so he mumbled and quietly told lu mingming, “in any case… it’s the teacher’s fault. your uncle is not at fault.”

lu ye, of course, understood the implication in his words. he chuckled and said, “blame can’t be divided between yours and mine; it’s all the same.”

lu mingming was originally just throwing a tantrum, but when she saw the two of them earnestly admitting their mistakes, she started feeling embarrassed herself. so, she bit her lip and pulled on the little shiny piece on her dress without saying anything.

“to make it up to you, you can go to the snack shop across the street later and buy snacks and ice cream. you can buy as much as you want,” lu ye, after apologizing, continued to coax the child. he suggested, “how about that?”

across the street from the training center was a centralized snack shop with several indoor stalls. it had all kinds of sweets, drinks, and snacks, emitting a sweet aroma of caramel and cream from morning till night.

lu mingming had been persuaded by qi yanbai for over an hour, and then she suddenly received this big offer. her psychological defense line began to waver, and she was at risk of surrendering at any moment.

“okay…” lu mingming was already wavering, but she didn’t want to surrender so quickly. so, she stubbornly said, “don’t tell my mom.”

“okay,” lu ye said, pursing his lips and trying not to laugh. he put on a serious expression and took out two hundred yuan from his pocket, saying, “buy whatever you like. i promise to keep it a secret.”

the small shops near the school were crowded with children buying snacks after school. lu ye didn’t want to go inside and jostle with a group of kids, so he simply stood on the roadside by the store’s entrance, watching lu mingming’s pink head bobbing up and down in the crowd, appearing and disappearing.

qi yanbai stood beside him to keep him company. separated by a bunch of colorful little figures, they watched lu mingming’s figure for a while. after some time, qi yanbai smiled wryly and said, “i don’t blame her for being angry.”

lu ye glanced at him.

“she had prepared herself to say goodbye to you when she thought you were leaving, but then she suddenly found out it was all a lie. it’s natural for her to feel deceived,” qi yanbai explained. “give her some time, and she’ll be fine.”

qi yanbai understood lu mingming’s current mood very well. accepting a reality one doesn’t want to face is already difficult enough. when, after experiencing pain and inner conflict, one finally convinces themselves, only to discover it was all a lie, the previous internal struggle can easily turn into anger, directed at the person who initiated it.

lu ye took out a cigarette from his pocket and instinctively tried to light it, but when he held the cigarette in his mouth, he suddenly remembered that it was a public place, and there were children around. so, he put away the lighter, holding the unlit cigarette between his fingers.

“did you feel the same way back then?” lu ye asked with a smile.

“me? no, i didn’t,” qi yanbai lowered his eyes, carefully recollecting for a moment, then pursed his lips and smiled gently, saying, “although i was also angry at the time, i felt more happy.”

most anger is a momentary thing. after passing that point and looking back, many emotions become much softer. qi yanbai couldn’t remember the feeling of wanting to bite a piece of lu ye’s flesh, which he felt strongly at the time. he only remembered the sense of relief.

that feeling of surviving a disaster made his mind go blank, leaving him physically drained, limbs weak. that feeling of regaining something lost, like a spring’s source, continuously gushed out of his heart, creating an almost dreamlike sense of happiness.

at that moment, dopamine secretion had reached its peak, and for qi yanbai at that time, as long as lu ye didn’t take back his happiness, he felt like he could give up anything.

“i was so relieved back then; you don’t understand that feeling,” qi yanbai said truthfully. “actually, when i think about it now, i’m scared—i might have been willing to do anything, even if you had asked me to die back then.”

“why would i want you to die?” lu ye found it amusing, then smiled and gently touched qi yanbai’s hand.

“i mean, when you found out i had lied to you, what did you feel at that moment?” lu ye asked.

these past two days had been too comfortable for qi yanbai, and he almost instinctively avoided thinking about the past. however, lu ye’s question was like the key to the final door, instantly reopening all the things he had instinctively avoided.

the fear and despair from that day rushed back to qi yanbai’s mind. the smile at the corner of his lips stiffened momentarily, and his emotions dropped, almost about to be overwhelmed by those feelings.

“i felt like the sky was falling,” qi yanbai said. “for a moment, i hated you so much… i thought you had betrayed me, and i even doubted if all your kindness and love for me was fake.”

“but after the hatred, i realized it wasn’t your fault; it was my mistake,” qi yanbai sighed and said, “in short, it was a mix of despair and discomfort—very chaotic.”

“when i found out you lied to me, i felt the same way,” lu ye said. “the world seemed to be collapsing, and i questioned the meaning of everything in an instant.”

qi yanbai knew that, ultimately, this matter was his fault. he remained silent for a few seconds and didn’t argue. instead, he quietly said, “i’m sorry.”

this time, his apology was more sincere than ever before. it wasn’t just a compromise out of fear of lu ye’s anger; it was a genuine acknowledgment of his mistake.

“it’s okay,” lu ye smiled and reached out to put his arm around qi yanbai’s shoulder. “i forgive you.”

“but now you know what that feels like,” lu ye said. “do you still want me to lie to you in the future?”

people truly understand only after experiencing things themselves. qi yanbai had tasted the bitterness of being deceived, and lu ye thought that this lesson would probably stay with him for the rest of his life.

“i don’t,” qi yanbai shook his head. his voice choked for a moment, and his throat rolled before he managed to finish the sentence.

“i don’t want you to ever lie to me,” he said.

“then make a promise with me,” lu ye smiled and held out his hand, the one with the cigarette. he made a gesture like a pinky promise. “promise that you won’t lie to me anymore, and i won’t lie to you either.”

his tone was light, but qi yanbai, looking at lu ye, suddenly felt that lu ye’s gaze was unusually serious. it didn’t seem like they were standing on a street corner having a casual conversation; it felt more like they were in a church, solemnly making a life-or-death vow.

qi yanbai’s heart skipped a beat when he met lu ye’s gaze. however, he also strangely felt that the surging sadness within him was soothed by that look. so, he lowered his head, made a sound of agreement, and reached out his hand, hidden behind the bustling crowd, to gently hook his little finger with lu ye’s.

people passed by on the street, and not far away, the storefront was packed with people. children’s lively laughter filled the air, creating a chaotic atmosphere. however, as qi yanbai hooked his pinky finger with lu ye’s, amidst the bustling crowd, they found a brief moment of peace.

“i pinky promise,” qi yanbai said softly.