CH 92

as soon as lu ye’s head lowered to kiss him, qi yanbai, after a long time, felt a sensation of being whole.

he sighed contentedly, and the remaining tears in his eyes trickled down to the pillow, leaving a trail of tear stains.

lu ye noticed this in his peripheral vision, so he continued to kiss along qi yanbai’s lips, moving upwards until he reached his forehead, where he gently planted soft kisses.

“what’s wrong?” lu ye was always very perceptive, always attentive to everything about qi yanbai.

“not feeling well?” lu ye asked.

qi yanbai’s chest rose and fell, and for a moment, he couldn’t speak. he could only shake his head weakly and call out lu ye’s name with a breathy voice.

he didn’t say anything else, but lu ye vaguely guessed what was going on. so, his eyes sparkled, and while kissing qi yanbai’s lips, he reached out and fumbled to turn on the bedside lamp.

the soft, dim light spread gently. qi yanbai’s wrist was lifted by lu ye’s actions, and his whole body arched uncontrollably, as he mumbled, “why did you turn it on?”

“i’m afraid you can’t see me clearly,” lu ye said.

as he spoke, he touched qi yanbai’s wrist in this posture. they were still bound together by the chain, and the continuous crisp sound of metal colliding filled the air. lu ye used his fingertips to slowly separate qi yanbai’s fingers, interlocking their hands without room for refusal.

in the process, his ankle grazed qi yanbai’s leg, and qi yanbai felt a slight, almost subtle stinging sensation.

“ah,” qi yanbai shivered from the cold, and instinctively asked, “what’s that?”

“have you forgotten?” lu ye lowered his eyes, glanced downwards with an insinuating look, and smiled, “isn’t that something you bought?”

qi yanbai was momentarily puzzled, and then followed lu ye’s gaze downwards, only to discover a very fine golden ankle bracelet on lu ye’s right ankle.

this was a gift that qi yanbai had bought for lu ye in the past, bearing all his hidden and overwhelming possessiveness. lu ye had previously said that he couldn’t get used to wearing it, but at some point, he had put it back on his ankle.

the beautiful gold shone in the lamplight, and qi yanbai’s breath caught. he was almost immediately hooked by the extremely fine chain.

“yanbai,” lu ye saw the change in his expression, couldn’t help but lean closer to qi yanbai’s ear, and asked seductively, “tell me the truth, when you bought this thing, were you thinking about chaining me up?”

the hot breath sprayed on qi yanbai’s neck and behind his ear, and he suddenly felt like he was being roasted over a fire. he frowned slightly, let out a soft moan, and grabbed lu ye’s shoulder with his hand.

“yes…,” at this point, qi yanbai had nothing to hide. he struggled to open his eyes, blinked away the thin layer of moisture on his eyelashes, and groaned, admitting, “back then, i was thinking, if only i could lock you up forever.”

with their hands still tightly interlocked, lu ye gently shook the hand that was tied to qi yanbai.

“congratulations,” lu ye said, “your wish has come true.”

qi yanbai, used to a survival-of-the-fittest lifestyle, had never experienced the sweetness of getting what he desired without effort. so, when the thing he had longed for returned to him so easily, qi yanbai even had a sense of unreality.

with lu ye planting wet and warm kisses on his neck, qi yanbai tightly embraced lu ye’s sweaty back with one hand. in the alternating sensations of pain and pleasure, qi yanbai let out soft moans and as he felt lu ye’s presence, he wished he could mold himself into lu ye’s very bones and blood.

under the dim yellow light, shadows danced around with the occasional creaking of the bed, and a bead of sweat rolled down lu ye’s forehead.

just as they reached the climax, qi yanbai felt an overwhelming sense of unreality, as if he had stepped lightly into a cloud.

he gazed at the shadows on the ceiling with a dazed look, sometimes unable to distinguish the present moment from the other nights.

“is this real, ge?” qi yanbai murmured as he closed his eyes, burying his face deeper into lu ye’s neck and whispered, “i still feel like i’m going insane.”

“then go insane,” lu ye replied with a muffled chuckle, then bit qi yanbai’s earlobe and whispered, “i allow you to go mad for a lifetime.”

lu ye’s voice was soft, but those words acted like a divine anchor, instantly stabilizing qi yanbai’s wavering soul.

it was as if a lost spirit that had roamed the mortal world for years had finally found its home.

the rain outside had been pouring all day but had now ceased completely in the late hours of the night.

the thick clouds gradually dispersed, and a few scattered stars reappeared in the sky, sweeping away the heavy moisture in the air, revealing a refreshing clearness.

the moonlight poured into the room from the window, and the balcony door, wide open, creaked in the evening breeze. lu ye glanced at the soundly sleeping qi yanbai beside him, then quietly got out of bed, leaving behind a room in chaos, bearing the marks of their passionate indulgence.

he picked up a robe from the foot of the bed and draped it over himself, barefoot, stepping on the damp floor as he walked to the balcony.

he reached out and closed the balcony door, and as he was contemplating whether to light a cigarette, a warm body silently pressed against him from behind. then, a pair of hands reached around his waist, gently encircling it.

“you’re not asleep?” lu ye asked somewhat surprised.

the two of them had been fooling around for most of the night. at first, qi yanbai had been stubborn, saying things like, “don’t stop” and pleading for more. but two hours later, he was completely drained of energy, and in the end, he couldn’t even muster the strength to speak. his voice was hoarse as if he had swallowed lead, and his body felt limp, relying on lu ye for support.

lu ye had initially thought that this level of vigor would have him sleeping soundly until the next morning, but he hadn’t expected him to still be wide awake.

“…no,” qi yanbai leaned against lu ye’s back bonelessly, sounding congested as he spoke, “i just don’t want to sleep.”

“what do you want?” lu ye chuckled and reached out to pull qi yanbai into his arms, asking knowingly, “afraid i’ll run away again?”

“it’s not that,” qi yanbai shook his head, seeming to remember something. he smiled faintly and said, “i’m just happy.”

this time, he wasn’t lying—perhaps he had completely let go of the burdens in his heart, or maybe lu ye’s “proof therapy” had been too effective. qi yanbai’s pathological sense of insecurity had diminished considerably, as if it had quietly receded into the depths of his heart, no longer causing chaos.

he was simply happy now, like a grade-schooler looking forward to a field trip the next day. even though his body was exhausted to the extreme, his spirit was inexplicably excited, to the point where he couldn’t even close his eyes.

“happy about what?” lu ye asked with a smile.

“i’m happy… i finally have something back that i had lost.”

qi yanbai said as he closed his eyes. he seemed tired to the core, but a satisfied smile still hung on his face.

the sharp anxiety that had been deep within him had unknowingly been smoothed out by lu ye, leaving only a gentle and tranquil sense of peace.

“it’s you, lu ye,” qi yanbai whispered softly. “you’re the only treasure in my life that i had lost but found again.”