CH 91

the expression on qi yanbai’s face suddenly became blank.

he had been so eager to hear the answer from lu ye, but when lu ye earnestly responded, he suddenly felt at a loss.

he seemed to understand lu ye’s words, but he hadn’t grasped what they represented.

however, his emotions had calmed down considerably. the sharp hatred was still there, but it was as if it had been coated with a thick layer of icing sugar, and although the blade remained, when he reached out to touch it, he only felt coarse and lumpy sugar granules.

“what do you mean?” qi yanbai’s chest heaved violently for a moment. he couldn’t quite grasp it, but he didn’t have the patience to think. his eyes were red, and he stared fiercely at lu ye, his voice trembling as he asked, “what do you mean?”

lu ye looked at his trembling hand, before taking off his coat, casually draping his duty uniform over the bed’s railing.

“it means i won’t leave anymore,” lu ye said.

since the moment he escaped, lu ye had already decided to come back on his own. ultimately, he hadn’t left to punish qi yanbai or to play with him but to make qi yanbai experience what it was like to be deceived and toyed with.

qi yanbai was used to thinking in a self-centered manner, and if he wasn’t made to feel the pain of not being respected, he would never understand what it felt like.

but despite the lesson, lu ye didn’t want this to become a new psychological shadow for qi yanbai. so, he had to come back on his own, showing through actions that, even though qi yanbai had become so defiant, as long as he was honest from now on, lu ye was still willing to stay for him.

“i love you and i also don’t want to leave you. so, even if you’re a little madman who kidnaps me at the drop of a hat, i want to give you another chance.”

lu ye then knelt on the bed as he had seen qi yanbai do before, tightening the chain inch by inch.

lu ye was using force to tighten the chain, reversing their previous roles. qi yanbai had finally fallen into the trap of the prey and became a struggling moth caught in a spider’s web.

but he didn’t feel afraid. the feeling of being completely controlled by lu ye seemed to provide him with another kind of security. he didn’t have to doubt if lu ye was just deceiving him with empty words, or if he was lying to escape. instead, he could finally calm down and listen to him.

qi yanbai’s sense of insecurity stemmed from losing, and lu ye couldn’t smooth out all the past trauma for him. still, he could help him find one thing: himself.

“like your stubborn brother, neither of you can understand. so, i’ll say it again.” lu ye raised qi yanbai’s hand and placed it on his waist. he glanced at him with a slight smile, and softly said, “qi yanbai, you’ve lied to me, and i’ve lied to you, so we’re even now.”

since the phrase “even” seemed too much like distancing, lu ye changed his wording this time and repeated, “from now on, you don’t need to be afraid or insecure anymore. we’ll clear away the old scores. as long as you don’t lie to me again, i won’t care about what happened before.”

“you want to cry?” lu ye noticed something and extended his arm to encircle qi yanbai’s back, pulling him into his embrace. “go ahead and cry.”

as soon as he finished speaking, qi yanbai suddenly bit down on his shoulder. lu ye’s shoulder muscles involuntarily tensed for a moment. the next second, he felt something cold and wet flowing down his shoulder.

the metallic taste of blood faintly lingered as qi yanbai choked up and said, “lu ye! how could you, how—”

he wanted to say, “how could you be so heartless?” but then he felt like all of this was his own doing. in an instant, he couldn’t help but choke back a sob, and reached out to hug lu ye’s shoulder.

he cried with restraint, but it sounded so pitiful, as if he was crying out the pain and repression of this period, as well as venting his fear after finding out lu ye had left him.

however, in any case, letting out his emotions was a good thing. lu ye turned his head to look at him, feeling that his broken and pitiful cry was quite dramatic. so, at an inappropriate moment, he couldn’t help but chuckle and reached out to pluck a piece of paper stuck in his hair.

“what did i do?” lu ye knowingly teased, “is someone playing victim?”

qi yanbai: “…”

qi yanbai just wanted to shrink into his embrace, draw nourishment from him, and survive on his love.

his emotions were abruptly interrupted when he suddenly thought of something. his breath hitched, and then he lifted his head from lu ye’s shoulder without any warning, turned his head, and kissed him.

as this kiss deepened, there was an unspoken and tense atmosphere silently filling the air.

while tears still stained qi yanbai’s face, his expression had calmed down. he breathed with a hint of urgency, gently pulling back a bit and kissing along the corner of lu ye’s lips down to his collarbone.

“no… i can’t believe this is all real,” qi yanbai wrapped his arms around lu ye’s back and stubbornly said, “prove it to me.”

“how do you want me to prove it?” lu ye asked.

as soon as he finished speaking, qi yanbai coiled around him like a snake, physically expressing his thoughts.

“find a way, lu ye.”

qi yanbai, raised his vulnerable throat, sensually caressing lu ye’s lips with his adam’s apple and whispered in a seductive tone, “let me know you’re here.”

the sound of metal chains clashing could be heard, and the wrinkled coat slipped off the edge of the bed as they moved. in the darkness, lu ye’s shoulders tensed and relaxed, followed by a muffled, light chuckle. he reached out and grabbed the other end of the chain, calmly winding it around his own wrist twice.

then, qi yanbai heard lu ye’s voice hidden in the darkness.

“alright,” he said with a smile.