CH 46

the lu siblings were locals, so their lifestyle should have leaned towards the jiangnan style. however, their customs for celebrating the lunar new year seemed to be a blend of both southern and northern traditions. in the kitchen, they had prepared four bowls and eight dishes, with dumpling wrappers and freshly made tangyuan (rice dumplings) taking up a significant portion of the spread, carefully sieved by two small bamboo strainers.

“my dad’s ancestral home is in the north, and he moved here when he was young for work,” lu ye explained to qi yanbai while placing a stainless steel bowl filled with dumpling filling in front of qi yanbai. he took advantage of lu wenyu going to wash her hands to continue, “so, our family has always had a mixed new year’s feast with dumplings and tangyuan.”

“even though my sister and i left home early, we still retained these customs. so, during the new year, we would make dumplings to satisfy our cravings,” lu ye said, lowering his voice and adding, “let me warn you now, when she comes back, don’t mention this.”

“why?” qi yanbai asked, puzzled.

“because she doesn’t like to hear about it,” lu ye shook his head with a helpless smile, explaining, “both of us were kicked out of our family, so she has always detested any connection to that side and has tried her best to separate herself from them.”

perhaps children who have fled their families all have this dilemma. they both yearn to distance themselves from their families, yet they are inevitably influenced by them. lifestyle, outlook, and even character traits—all of these are like an intractable part of their upbringing, deeply rooted and difficult to remove.

lu wenyu may not be unaware of this, but she preferred to avoid facing everything she disliked.

qi yanbai couldn’t fully understand this subtle and painful struggle yet. moreover, compared to lu wenyu, he was more concerned about lu ye’s feelings.

“what about you?” qi yanbai tilted his head to look at him and asked, “don’t you dislike them?”

“there’s no need for that,” lu ye smiled and placed pieces of dough on the cutting board, sprinkling some dry flour on the surface. he continued, “i made my own choices; why would i blame them?”

qi yanbai detected something unspoken in lu ye’s brief statement. his eyes flickered, and he was about to ask more when he saw lu wenyu returning from the living room.

lu wenyu’s mood was unpredictable during the new year, and lu ye didn’t want to upset her. qi yanbai, understanding this, didn’t press the matter and smoothly changed the topic.

“how do you wrap these?” qi yanbai examined one of the dough wrappers rolled out by lu ye, hesitating to start.

qi yanbai grew up abroad, and although his parents were chinese-speaking ethnic chinese, their family had a unique background, and they had never celebrated any lively festivals.

he was unfamiliar with these family-oriented traditions, so he had diligently studied before coming to celebrate the new year with the lu family. unfortunately, the lu siblings had their own way of doing things, and none of the knowledge qi yanbai had prepared was of any use.

lu ye probably hadn’t expected qi yanbai who was a somewhat skilled chef not to know how to wrap dumplings. hearing his question, lu ye supported the rolling pin with his hand, smiled, and said, “you don’t know how to do this?”

dumpling wrappers were soft and thin, and when held in hand, they slid smoothly along the palm. qi yanbai tried to fold one, and while the shape was alright, his technique wasn’t quite right, causing the meat filling to squeeze out from one corner and fall onto the tabletop.

“i’m not very good at this,” qi yanbai pouted. he put down the irregular shaped dumpling he had just created and wiped the table clean with kitchen paper. he sighed softly and said, “i didn’t celebrate new year when i was a child, so i’ve never done this before.”

the smile on lu ye’s face faded slightly, as he seemed to recall the difficult moments of qi yanbai’s childhood. thinking about past experiences on what should have been a joyful day was never a pleasant experience. after a while, lu ye smiled again and spoke with a relaxed tone, “it’s okay; there’s nothing difficult about it.”

he used his toe to pull out a stool and sat down beside qi yanbai, placing a freshly rolled dough wrapper in qi yanbai’s hand while doing so.

“put less filling and just pinch it shut,” lu ye instructed, holding qi yanbai’s hand and guiding him step by step. his body temperature was slightly higher than qi yanbai’s, and the warmth of his palm against the back of qi yanbai’s hand felt exceptionally comforting. the warmth flowed through their bodies as their skin touched, leaving behind a subtle, tingling sensation.

there was soon a noticeable amount of pressure on the back of qi yanbai’s hand. he loosened his grip slightly, and a perfectly round dumpling slipped out of his hand, landing with a soft thud on the flour-covered cutting board.

“see, it’s simple,” lu ye said. he didn’t release qi yanbai’s hand; instead, he continued, “yanbai, i know you’ve had a difficult upbringing.”

“i initially wanted to comfort you, but then i realized there was no need,” lu ye continued, his movements not stopping. he held qi yanbai’s hand and neatly shaped another dumpling while saying, “because even if no one comforts you, you’ve already grown up, and you’ve grown up quite well.”

qi yanbai didn’t really feel the need for comfort. he had brought up the topic mostly to solidify his vulnerable image in front of lu ye. however, for some reason, as he stared at the well-formed dumplings in his hand and listened to lu ye’s gentle words, he unexpectedly developed a strange sense of himself being “remarkable.”

“i don’t know much about how you lived when you were a child,” lu ye continued, “but i want to tell you that those things don’t really matter anymore. you’ve grown up, and you’ll spend the rest of your days with me.”

“whether you know something or not, it doesn’t matter,” lu ye held qi yanbai’s hand, placing the dumplings they had made on a tray. he continued earnestly, “if there’s something you don’t know, i will teach you.”

qi yanbai’s slightly cold hand had already warmed up from being held by lu ye. they were so close that their breaths and body temperatures could intertwine. qi yanbai turned his head to look at lu ye and suddenly felt as if their bones and blood were merging together in an inexplicable way.

lu ye’s gaze was gentle, as if it contained a deep sea with boundless compassion.

qi yanbai pursed his lips and felt something bursting in his chest, prompting him to take a step forward and kiss lu ye.

it was strange because lu ye hadn’t really said any earth-shattering words of love, but as qi yanbai looked at him, it felt as if the whole world had been enchanted by him, spreading colorful colors in an instant.

the living room’s tv was featuring a lively replay of a past spring festival gala, filling the large room with the sounds of unfamiliar and noisy laughter. in the kitchen, the soup pot was boiled for the second time, and the aroma of cordyceps mushrooms wafted through the air, carrying a slightly bitter-sweet fragrance.

qi yanbai blinked, suddenly feeling a surreal sensation.

he felt like alice in wonderland, led astray by the white rabbit, falling into a bizarre and colorful new world.

but fortunately, this new world was sunny, with a comforting lover and warm soup, so “alice” willingly immersed herself here.

it was truly amazing, qi yanbai thought; lu ye seemed to be the fairy tale itself, possessing an irresistible charm.

at some point, lu wenyu had quietly left the living room, and she didn’t reappear for the entire afternoon. it was only before dinner that she came downstairs, teasing qi yanbai and lu ye with her eyes, until he saw qi yanbai blushing, then she moved her gaze away and started teasing lu ye instead.

“did you do any real work this afternoon?” lu wenyu laughed and said, “or were you too busy being lovey dovey? in that case, we might as well go hungry.”

lu ye had thicker skin than qi yanbai, and he met lu wenyu’s gaze head-on. he extended his arm to shield qi yanbai behind him and said nonchalantly, “no worries, we can always go out to eat. we’ll spend your money, you’re rich enough”

“oh, please,” she said with a mocking tone. “i would rather let you starve.”

lu wenyu had experienced hardships, and even though her wealth had risen in recent years, she still had great cooking skills. she and lu ye worked together to prepare all the ingredients, methodically placing all them into the pot. the kitchen was filled with intense heat, producing a strong aroma of frying.

qi yanbai had wanted to help initially, but lu ye pushed him aside with a shoulder nudge, only giving him a bowl of freshly fried meatballs and telling him to stand by and watch them instead.

“how shameless,” lu wenyu commented, “even chopping vegetables requires an audience.”

qi yanbai felt a bit embarrassed by lu wenyu’s words, but lu ye was quite unbothered. not only did he not feel embarrassed, but he also boldly took a meatball from qi yanbai’s hand right in front of lu wenyu.

the lu family’s customs were different from the local ones. they didn’t go out on new year’s eve, so dinner was also served late.

around ten in the evening, after finishing dinner, lu ye took lu mingming to the yard to set off fireworks. qi yanbai had initially wanted to join them, but when he reached the door, he was stopped by lu wenyu.

“teacher qi,” she said, carrying a bottle of red wine and two glasses, smiling at qi yanbai, “can we chat for a while?”

qi yanbai didn’t drink alcohol, however, considering that this was the first time lu wenyu had extended an invitation to him as “family,” qi yanbai thought for a moment and didn’t refuse.

the second-floor balcony had outdoor heating, and lu wenyu poured half a glass of red wine for qi yanbai before sealing the bottle.

from the second-floor balcony, they had a clear view of the front yard of the villa. lu ye and lu mingming, were aligning a box of fireworks—one on the left and one on the right. lu wenyu swayed her wine glass against the railing, then suddenly spoke, “to be honest, i don’t like chinese new year.”

qi yanbai turned to look at her, giving her a perfectly puzzled look.

“this afternoon, did lu ye tell you about our family’s situation?” lu wenyu smiled, but it was a cold smile, and she seemed distant. “i was kicked out of my family by my parents on new year’s eve—they’re extremely traditional and favor sons over daughters. so, when i turned eighteen, they required me to go out and work, to become self-reliant.”

qi yanbai had heard this part of the story from lu ye before, but since lu wenyu wanted to talk about it, he didn’t mind hearing it again.

“two years later, lu ye also left home,” lu wenyu paused and asked, “did he tell you about this?”

“yes,” qi yanbai replied obediently, “he said he came out as gay to your parents, and that’s why he was kicked out.”

“then did he tell you why he came out at that time?” lu wenyu asked. “he was so young back then, and it wasn’t necessary at all. even if he was mature for his age, he could have hidden it from our parents for a while until he could support himself.”

qi yanbai thought, why indeed?

lu wenyu seemed to sense his confusion and didn’t keep him waiting. she continued.

“he did it for me,” lu wenyu said.

“when i was first kicked out, i was still quite young and had no money. it was tough for me to survive,” lu wenyu said. “lu ye was just a kid at that time, and he couldn’t convince our parents. so, he saved his allowance and lunch money every month to secretly pay my rent, even if it meant he had to eat just one bun a day.”

“he supported me for two years like that, but our parents eventually found out. they confiscated his valuables and allowance and forced him to ask me back the money he gave me,” lu wenyu said. “he refused, and then had a big argument with them, which led to him coming out.”

qi yanbai had heard about this from lu ye, but lu ye had downplayed it, only mentioning that he had been kicked out, without going into these details.

most people in the world lack that kind of courage, but lu ye was only fifteen years old at the time, yet he willingly stood by his true self.

“to be honest, i used to resent him because he was my little brother,” lu wenyu admitted. she took a sip of her drink and continued, “but later, when he braved a snowstorm to find me, searched four neighborhoods, and handed over all his new year’s money and allowance to me, i knew that i had to be his sister for the rest of my life.”

“of course, i’m not the kind of sister who would intimidate anyone who dates my brother,” lu wenyu said, smiling lightly and seeming to want to clarify that she wasn’t overprotective. she quickly changed the subject, explaining, “yanbai, i brought this up just to let you know that although he may seem tough, he’s actually very soft and caring, especially to the people he cares about. i hope you won’t let him down.”

“i won’t let him down,” qi yanbai said. his gaze drifted beyond the railing to the figure in the courtyard wearing a heavy cotton coat.

qi yanbai was always intrigued by lu ye, ever since he met him, he curious about him. this kind of curiosity was undoubtedly dangerous, as no one is perfect, and everyone has flaws. but every time he delved deeper, he discovered even more wonderful things about lu ye.

qi yanbai said. “i’ll never let him down.”

lu wenyu had shared about her family and their past, but qi yanbai had nothing to share. he felt like a floating leaf, and the only visible thread in his life was lu ye, who had woven himself into it.

he took a sip of his drink, and suddenly, an inexplicable impulse surged within him, urging him to hold onto lu ye even tighter.

“well, that’s good. after all, your relationship is your own. i won’t meddle,” lu wenyu had a good sense of boundaries. she stopped the conversation there and swiftly changed the topic, smiling as she looked at qi yanbai. “by the way, do you have any new year’s wishes?”

she changed the topic so abruptly that even qi yanbai didn’t have time to react, and his face unconsciously showed a hint of confusion.

“oh… it’s actually lu ye who wants to know,” lu wenyu confessed without guilt. “he wanted me to subtly ask about your new year’s wishes so he could fulfill them for you.”