26. | ocean of sadness

"How many minutes till we're finally there?" I ask Reed, feeling my eyelids getting heavier due to the lack of sleep in these past couple of nights.

We've been in this car for nearly two hours and we haven't exchanged a single word, both wandering off in our own thoughts. I stare out of the window as we pass by areas I've never been in before.

"We'll be there in about 30 minutes." he replies, taking his eyes off the road to quickly glance at me. "Why?"

"Because I don't want to end up falling asleep." I yawn as I straighten my back and reach out to turn the volume of the radio up. "Can't risk getting either kidnapped or killed."

He coughs at this and shifts uncomfortably in his seat. "Do you really think of me that way now?"

"Are you surprised about that?" I glare at him as I shake my head. "Can you blame me though? I don't know anything anymore Reed, I can't trust my own blood to begin with." I sigh, answering truthfully, "How am I supposed to not think like that about a person who helped blaming my mother's death on an innocent teenager?"

His story was unexpected, and it did make me look at him in a different light. I can't imagine what I would have done in his place. I like to believe I would have denied and found another way to protect myself and my loved ones. But one can never know unless they actually are put in this kind of situation.

I'm glad he told me, but I don't owe him thankful behavior, or anything really. He should not have done it in the first place. He did it, due to circumstances and dumb decisions, but also fear for his own life and his family. But he could have at least tried making up for it by speaking to me earlier, or by not treating Ethan like shit for the past several years he's been imprisoned. He nods, not going in further on this topic as we both stay silent after that for the remainder of the ride.

A few minutes before arriving, I'm reminded of the fact that Lexi has no clue of where I've been hanging out so I decide to call her, mentally preparing myself to get lectured and yelled at.

She takes the phone after the second ring and I can hear her inhale, probably to yell her lungs out at me. I put it on speaker and remove the phone from my ear, not eager to deafen myself.

Before she gets the chance, I start. "I know you feel like pulling my hair out one by one and most likely kill me, but please don't. I'm getting closer to finding evidence for Ethan's sake."

"I was worried sick you idiot! And I need my best friend so I won't kill you," she breathes out, "but I think your dad might. He came looking for you on damn campus and I just made up a dumb excuse to save your sorry ass."

My mouth takes the shape of an o as I turn off the radio completely. "Why was he looking for me and what is my excuse?" I can't have him knowing I know Reed's story, I know about the bunker. He'll follow us here into the middle of nowhere.

"I don't know, maybe the fact that you've been dodging him? He knows you're up to some shit, because he found out the governor accepted a new trial for Ethan." She mumbles and I can imagine her pulling some strings of hair out of frustration.

"And I said you're at Becca's, finishing a project. I don't think he believed me, so he'll probably ask around some more." I hear several voices in the background, making me wonder where exactly she's at.

"Who's Becca?" I ask, taking in my surroundings as Reed parks the car, indicating that we've finally arrived to the location.

"There's no Becca." She hisses, "But from now on, there is. Where are you anyways?"

I unfasten my seatbelt and make a sign for Reed to wait for me. "I'm out of town with Reed. I will tell you in person later, okay?"

"Reed? I thought you disliked the guy." She asks in surprise. Just as I want to reply, I hear a male voice in the background. He sounds familiar, but I can't seem to remember where I've heard that voice before. If it wasn't for my current situation, I'd ask her who she's hanging out with. I decide on ignoring it and open my door to exit the car. As I do, Reed seems to be listening to the voices coming from my phone with a frown forming on his forehead.

"Yes, I still do. It's for something important. Don't worry, I'll be okay. I mean, the worst that could happen is me getting killed by my father if he finds us, but I'll survive. I love you, Lex." I say hurriedly and hang up the phone without giving her an opportunity to answer.

"If I survive today, she'll be the one killing me." I mumble louder than I intended, earning a slight chuckle from Reed.

"What are you laughing at?" I huff in annoyance and he shrugs it off smiling to himself.

I follow him to the trunk of his car, wrapping my scarf around my neck in an attempt to feel some warmth. He opens it and tilts the corner of the carpet covering the floor, revealing the keys I assume are the ones with access to the bunker.

While he bents to grab the keys, I notice his gun.

"You brought your gun?" I ask curiously, catching the keys he throws at me with my right hand.

"Yeah," he answers, closing and then locking the trunk of his car. "How else do you want to protect yourself in case of need?"

I nod because he has a point and ignore the voice in my head, who is currently desperately scolding me for trusting Reed.

Let's say it's not a matter of me trusting him, this is the only lead to evidence I have right now, so I have to risk things to achieve something.

I am finally getting closer to finding actual evidence that could free Ethan, and lock up the person who's really behind all of this. Even if it is my dad, even if it means risking my own life while doing this with Reed by my side, I will not let the nagging voice in my head get in the way of that.

"This way." Reed startles me from my thoughts, walking next to container-like storage bunkers.

After a 5-minute walk, he stops in front of one with C. 3576 A written on it with big black letters. In this moment, it finally dawns on me, we're really doing this. I take a deep breath and without another thought, unlock the door with the keys in my hand.

The second the door opens, an extremely bad smell enters my nostrils, making it almost impossible for me not to gag.

Please, let it not be a dead body.

Reed notices how uncomfortable I am and takes the first step into the bunker. He doesn't hurry as he takes slow steps, turning around to see me following him with even slower steps. As much as I hate to say this, I'm glad he's thoughtful enough to not jump into this right away. He's taking his time and it makes me feel slightly better about taking my time.

"The smell must be from the bag they made me drop here, which has been here for three years now." He explains, looking for the light switch as he continues, "I mean, there were blood remains on it, so that explains all these bugs and the terrible smell."

He seems a little uncomfortable as he mentions the blood and it makes me sick to my stomach. The lights turn on and for a moment, I forget how to breathe as my eyes wander the content of the bunker, stopping at the sight of a desk and a pinboard with two pictures pinned to it.

One of my mother and the other one... Sara? What does Ethan's mom even have to do with any of this?

Waves of confusion hit me hard and seeming to forget about the disgusting smell, I take a few quick steps towards the desk.

Tears fill my eyes as I take the picture of my mother in my hands. A large cross and "RIP" is written on it with a red marker, and I feel like someone is stabbing my heart repeatedly.

She's surely resting in peace, and I hope and know that whoever somehow still wrote RIP on her picture, will not rest in peace.

My gorgeous mother, taken away from me so brutally, so unfairly.

Why her?

I quickly wipe away the useless tears with my sleeve, not caring about ruining possible evidence as I plant a kiss on the piece of paper in my hand, a lifeless picture of my favorite woman.

"Brooklyn, I think it would be smart to not touch anything and take pictures of the place first." Reed softly remarks and I do what he says because he's right. Putting the picture back on the pinboard, he takes a few pictures of the in- and outside of the bunker, the desk, the pictures on the pinboard and the bag. I remain standing in the exact same spot as I let my eyes wander around the small bunker some more. I don't want to miss a single spot.

The drawers of the desk seem to be locked, but some hairpins could help me with those. I search around my bag and find one. After a few tries, I manage to open the left drawer with a screeching sound.

Reed turns around at the noise and strides over to me at the desk, bending his knees and looking down to examine it with me.

It seems empty, but as I completely bent down and search the drawer with my phone's flashlight, I notice a folded paper taped to the back of it.

I take it out while being careful not to tear it and my heartbeat accelerates as I unfold it.

And I thought the picture was shocking.

It's an accidental death insurance on my mother's name, worth nearly $200.000 and signed by my father.

I blink repeatedly, re-reading it, refusing to believe the words in front of me. Realization hits me, hard.

"H-he got her killed, for m-money? He took her away from me for fucking cash?!" I yell with a cracked voice, throwing the paper on the ground and start spilling the tears I've been trying so hard to keep in.

Money.

He ruined my life for a few thousand dollars.

It doesn't make sense at all. That day, my mother was carrying a lot of money that she had gathered for a charity. They did not take that money. All this time we've been thinking it wasn't about the money. I'm confused and disgusted at the same time. God, this is terrible. Why, why, why?

"Hey, hey Brooklyn," Reed carefully holds me by my shoulders as if I'm about to break.

You can't break the already ruined.

"Let's not jump to conclusions, yeah? But we're on a good way to the truth. I will continue with you on this path until we get justice for you mother's death, I promise. It's the least I can do. But if we want to succeed, you have to at least try to remain calm. I could never fully understand your situation, but I know it's hard for y—"

And as he terribly attempts to calm me down, the world becomes too much to bear and the blackness overwhelms me, forcing my eyes shut and throwing me into the never ending and soul-sucking darkness, completely engulfing me in the ocean of sadness.

In this moment, drowning in actual water seems more pleasant than whatever breathtaking horror I'm experiencing.

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A/N; yeah, shitty huh? as some questions get answered, we get a few more questions. what does sara even have to do with anything? what was the money from the insurance used for? was money really the only reason for the murder? we will find out in the remaining 9 chapters!

thanks for reading, i hope you enjoyed.

please don't forget to vote & comment, i really enjoy reading every single one of them.

— lyra b.