34. Shivaay in deep thought

Shivaay adjusted his blazer, giving himself a final glance in the mirror. The tie that Niharika had tied lay perfectly in place, a stark contrast to his earlier mess. He ran a hand through his hair, exhaling deeply, as if trying to shake off the lingering feeling from their brief interaction.

He grabbed his phone and wallet from the bedside table and walked out of the room, his polished shoes clicking against the marble floors. As he descended the stairs, he saw the family still seated at the dining table, finishing their breakfast.

Indra, sitting at the head of the table, looked up from his newspaper. “Handle the California deal carefully, Shivaay. It’s important for the expansion.”

“I will, Bauji,” Shivaay replied with a nod.

As he walked past the table, his eyes briefly landed on Niharika, who was clearing the dishes. She didn’t look at him, her attention focused on her task. For a moment, he hesitated, as if debating whether to say something, but he ultimately walked out without a word.

The chauffeur opened the door to his sleek black car, and Shivaay slid into the back seat. As the car started moving, he leaned back, loosening the tie slightly. His thoughts wandered back to the morning—how her hands had deftly tied the knot, her scent faintly lingering as she worked in silence.

“Why does she get under my skin like this?” he muttered to himself, looking out of the window as the cityscape passed by.

But there was no answer to his question, only the quiet hum of the engine and the faint chatter of Jaipur's morning buzz outside. He shook his head, trying to push the thoughts away, and focused on the day ahead. He had a kingdom to run and deals to seal—there was no room for distractions, even if they came in the form of his queen.

Shivaay arrived at his office building, a towering structure that symbolized power and prestige in Jaipur. The valet quickly opened the car door, and Shivaay stepped out, adjusting his blazer with a firm tug. His expression was calm and composed, the perfect facade of control that masked the turbulence within.

As he walked through the grand lobby, employees greeted him with polite nods and murmurs of respect. Shivaay responded with a curt nod, his mind already racing with the tasks at hand.

Inside his office on the top floor, the large windows offered a panoramic view of the bustling city. His secretary, Mr. Mehra, entered shortly after him, holding a tablet.

“Sir, your schedule for today includes a meeting with the board regarding the California project at 11 a.m.,” Mehra began, scrolling through the agenda. “Also, a lunch appointment with the delegates from Mumbai at 1 p.m., and the conference call with the legal team at 4 p.m.”

Shivaay nodded, walking to his desk and placing his phone and keys down. “Make sure everything is ready for the California deal. Any updates on the site inspections?”

“They’ve sent the initial reports, sir. I’ve forwarded them to your email.”

“Good,” Shivaay said, loosening his tie slightly as he sat down. “Bring me the detailed presentation files in 15 minutes.”

“Yes, sir.” Mehra turned to leave but hesitated for a moment. “Sir, should I arrange for a farewell dinner since you'll be away for months?”

Shivaay paused, his thoughts briefly returning to the breakfast table, to Niharika’s quiet disagreement about accompanying him. He shook his head slightly. “No need. Focus on ensuring everything is smooth for the trip.”

“Understood, sir.” Mehra left the room, leaving Shivaay alone with his thoughts.

For a moment, Shivaay leaned back in his chair, staring out at the city below. His mind wandered to the kingdom, the responsibilities he bore, and then to Niharika. He could still feel the warmth of her hands as she tied his tie that morning, a gesture so small yet so significant.

He frowned, running a hand through his hair. Why does she always manage to unsettle me? he thought, clenching his jaw. The answer eluded him, but the feeling lingered, gnawing at the edges of his focus.

With a frustrated sigh, Shivaay sat up straight, clearing his mind. There was no time to dwell on emotions—his work demanded his full attention. Reaching for his laptop, he immersed himself in the documents for the California deal, burying his thoughts beneath layers of professionalism and precision.

As Shivaay sat at his desk, his eyes skimmed through the documents on his laptop, but his focus was elsewhere. His mind kept wandering back to the breakfast table, to the way Niharika had quietly disagreed about accompanying him to California. Her words, soft but firm, echoed in his mind.

The kingdom might need me here.

He leaned back in his chair, letting out a heavy sigh, his fingers tapping restlessly on the armrest. Leaving for California for three to four months was necessary for the business, but the thought of being away from her felt unsettling.

Why does it matter so much? he wondered, his brows furrowing. He had never been one to let emotions interfere with his decisions. Yet, the idea of not seeing her, not sharing their usual moments—her silent presence, her sharp wit, even her occasional glares—left a void he couldn’t ignore.

Shivaay shook his head, trying to reason with himself. It's not like she’ll miss me. She’s made it clear she’s here for the kingdom, not me. The thought stung more than he cared to admit.

He rubbed his temples, his frustration growing. The memory of her tying his tie that morning surfaced, her hands gentle yet confident. It was such a simple gesture, but it carried a warmth that stayed with him.

What is this hold she has over me? he thought, his heart heavy with a mix of emotions he couldn’t name. He missed her already, and he hadn’t even left yet.

A knock at the door snapped him out of his thoughts. His secretary, Mr. Mehra, entered with a stack of files.

“Sir, here are the detailed presentations for the California project,” Mehra said, placing them on the desk.

Shivaay nodded, forcing his professional mask back on. “Thank you. You can leave now.”

As the door closed, Shivaay glanced at the files but didn’t open them. Instead, he stared out of the massive windows overlooking the city.

She’s right where she belongs, with the people of this kingdom. He tried to convince himself that it was for the best, but the ache in his chest told a different story. For the first time in years, he felt hesitant to leave—not because of the business, but because of her.

He picked up his phone, staring at her name in his contacts. For a moment, he considered calling her, saying something—anything—but then he put the phone down, clenching his jaw.

Get it together, Shivaay. You have a job to do.

But no matter how much he tried to bury himself in work, the thought of leaving her lingered, pulling at his heart like an invisible thread he couldn’t cut.

The day wore on, but Shivaay found it increasingly hard to focus. He attended meetings, reviewed contracts, and went through presentations, yet a part of him remained distracted. Every time he glanced at his phone, the temptation to text or call Niharika gnawed at him.

By late afternoon, as the sun began to set, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink, Shivaay stood by his office window, lost in thought. The sprawling city below seemed distant, insignificant compared to the emotions stirring inside him.

He thought about Niharika's quiet strength, the way she carried herself with grace even when life tested her. He admired her resilience, her ability to connect with people in ways he couldn’t. And yet, he’d never voiced these thoughts to her.

What would she even say if I told her? he wondered, a faint smile tugging at his lips.

His secretary interrupted his musings with a polite knock. “Sir, your driver has arrived. Shall I inform him to prepare for your return home?”

“Yes,” Shivaay replied curtly, grabbing his coat and briefcase.

The drive back to the mansion was quiet, the low hum of the car engine the only sound. Shivaay stared out of the window, his mind replaying moments of the day—her tying his tie, her refusal to go with him, the soft sway of her hair as she walked away from the breakfast table.

When the car pulled up to the mansion, Shivaay stepped out, greeted by the familiar sight of the grand structure. But tonight, it didn’t feel like home. Not without her waiting for him.

As he entered, the sound of faint laughter drifted from the dining hall. He walked in to find Niharika seated with the family, her smile radiant as she listened to one of Anand’s stories. The sight struck him like a blow—she looked so at ease, so happy without him.

Will she even miss me when I’m gone?

He cleared his throat, and the room quieted as everyone noticed his presence. Niharika glanced at him briefly before looking away, her expression unreadable.

“Shivaay, you’re back,” Indra said, gesturing for him to join. “Come, we were just discussing some plans for the festival next month.”

Shivaay nodded but didn’t sit. “I’ll join you shortly. I need to freshen up first.”

He left the room quickly, not trusting himself to stay any longer. Her presence, her laughter—it was all too much, a reminder of what he was leaving behind.

Once in his room, Shivaay loosened his tie and sank into the chair by the window. His gaze fell on the bed, where a small, folded piece of fabric caught his attention. He stood and picked it up, realizing it was the dupatta Niharika had worn that morning.

He held it for a moment, the faint scent of her lingering on the fabric. A pang of longing shot through him. He placed it back carefully, running a hand through his hair.

This shouldn’t be so hard. It’s just a few months.

But deep down, he knew it wasn’t about the time—it was about the distance, the fear that with each passing day, she would slip further away from him.

As night fell, Shivaay made his way downstairs for dinner. He resolved to keep things professional, to focus on the responsibilities ahead. Yet, as he sat across from Niharika, her eyes briefly meeting his before darting away, he couldn’t shake the thought that leaving her might be the hardest thing he’d ever done.

Shivaay finished his dinner with the family but couldn’t shake off the feeling of unease. Leaving Niharika behind for the next few months didn’t sit well with him. After exchanging goodnights with everyone, he returned to their room.

As he stepped inside, he saw Niharika folding some clothes. She glanced at him briefly but said nothing, focusing on her task.

Shivaay removed his watch and placed it on the dresser. His movements were slower than usual, his mind preoccupied. He knew he needed to address the emotions brewing inside him, but finding the right words felt impossible.

He finally broke the silence. “I’ll leave early tomorrow morning.”

Niharika paused, her hands stilling for a moment, but she didn’t turn to face him. “Have you packed everything?” she asked, her tone neutral.

“Almost,” he replied, his voice low. “I just need to finalize a few things.”

She gave a small nod, resuming her task. Shivaay watched her, feeling a pang in his chest. He didn’t want this distance—not just the physical one that was about to happen but the emotional gap that seemed to grow between them.

“You’ll be fine here, right?” he asked, stepping closer.

Niharika looked up at him, her expression calm. “I’ve lived here long enough to know how things work. I’ll manage.”

Her words were practical, but Shivaay couldn’t help but feel a sting. He nodded slowly, though it didn’t ease the discomfort in his heart.

After a moment of silence, he spoke again. “Niharika…”

She looked at him expectantly.

“I—” He hesitated, his usual confidence faltering. Finally, he shook his head. “Never mind.”

Niharika frowned slightly but didn’t press him. Instead, she picked up the folded clothes and moved to the wardrobe.

Shivaay watched her, his fists clenching at his sides. He wanted to say something, to make her understand what he couldn’t put into words. But all he could do was stand there, feeling helpless.

When she finished, Niharika turned back to him. “You should get some rest. It’ll be a long flight.”

He nodded again, not trusting himself to speak. Without another word, he turned and left the room, heading to the study.

Once alone, Niharika sat down on the bed, her gaze lingering on the closed door. A faint sigh escaped her lips as she tried to push away the emotions threatening to overwhelm her.

In the study, Shivaay poured himself a glass of water, staring blankly at the desk in front of him. He ran a hand through his hair, frustration building inside him.

Why does it feel like I’m leaving more than just the house? Why does it feel like I’m leaving a part of myself behind?