21 | the art gallery

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CHAPTER 21

"Cora. What are you doing?" My maths teacher asked, standing directly in front of me and leaning over until I could smell the coffee she had been drinking.

I moved to hide the doodle that spread across the pages of my jotter and took up the space designated for the quadratic equations on the board, but gave up when a wicked smile spread across her face.

"Are you drawing?" She asked, raising her voice to an unnecessarily high volume and inciting a ripple of laughter across the classroom.

My face burned as every single head turned to look at me and she snatched the jotter out from under my grip.

"I'm sure your parents would love to hear about this." She said with glee in her voice, only too happy to remind my parents of how much of a disappointment I continued to be.

The private boarding school that I had attended since the age of six was my own personal hell, offering every subject and activity but those believed to be a 'waste of time'.

Art fell under that category and was 'too ridiculous to even consider', hence why my teacher had taken it upon herself to flick through the jotter and pause on every drawing I'd ever done, eyes glittering as she humiliated me in front of my class.

"You need to stop with these fantasies, Cora. Doodling on a page will get you nowhere in life." She lectured.

My heart broke a little at that statement, but I did my utmost to hide it. There was no way that I would give her the pleasure of getting a reaction out of me.

Art was the only thing I had an actual passion for, so if I didn't have that then I was well and truly screwed.

"Get back to your work." She finished, slamming the jotter back onto the table. "And let that be a lesson to you. When you're in my classes you focus on what I've given you, and nothing else."

Symbols that made zero sense swam around on the page as I looked at the questions, and I forced myself not to groan aloud.

There was a certain passiveness that came with experiencing the same thing every single day of your life, and I was all too familiar with it.

I needed a change, and fast.

- - - -

I squealed into the confines of my bedroom with nobody to hear me but the walls.

Checking again to make sure that I hadn't just imagined it, my eyes found the email that had landed in my inbox at exactly 11:54 this morning.

I clicked on it and let my fingers scroll down the screen, praying that the words would still be there and that this wasn't all part of some elaborate fantasy my sleep deprived mind had come up with.

As much as I hated to admit it since it meant that I had to acknowledge how attached I was getting to him, seeing Gabriel's face last night was the only thing that had gotten me to sleep.

I had needed a distraction from my overactive imagination and his message came at the perfect time.

As if somehow, he could sense exactly what I needed.

Shaking that absurd thought out of my head, my attention returned to the email that lit up the screen in my hands.

The squeal I let out this time was even louder because the words were all still there and I hadn't imagined them.

My eyes found the subject bar which read: "Upcoming exhibition," before moving to the sender, a popular art museum in London.

Dear Cora,

We are constantly looking for young artists to elevate and give the recognition that they deserve.

Upon looking at some of your pieces, it is clear to us that you fit our brief perfectly.

Because of this, we would like to offer you the chance to have your pieces displayed at our upcoming exhibition in May.

The theme is 'difference' and we want you to create three pieces centred around diversity in any form.

Information regarding commissions and other events will be provided to you closer to the time should you choose to agree.

We hope to hear back from you.

Sincerely,

Janice Milne on behalf of the London College of Art

Getting the opportunity to have my work featured in a gallery, especially one run by one of the most highly regarded art museums in the city, was probably the most exciting thing that had ever happened to me.

I still couldn't believe it.

My emailed response was the closest that I could get to dropping to my knees in gratitude over a screen and with typed letters.

My subject bar read "A million times yes," and I began by thanking the whole team at the College. I specifically focused on whichever intern had come across my work on social media and decided that it was worthy of showing to those above them regardless of the potential backlash that they could get if they were wrong. Interns were often overlooked in big chains and I had a particular respect for them and how much they did in spite of the lack of recognition they got for it.

When I had finished showing my appreciation for everybody, I made sure that it was clear that I would be honoured to be featured in their upcoming exhibition and touched on how excited I was to explore the theme they chose.

Diversity is something that I always made an effort to include in my paintings as a big 'screw you' to the environment that I grew up in - one that suppressed culture and discouraged celebrating differences.

The best example was my hair, something that had pretty much always been my favourite thing about myself. Since my school's regulations detailed that hair had to be kept 'neat and minimal', I was expected to straighten it everyday.

It had taken me years to learn to embrace my natural curls and I could barely even look at a straightener now without remembering that part of my life.

But since the gallery needed my paintings and not my life story, I ended the email by promising that I would finish the pieces as soon as possible, well before the deadline they gave me of two months from now.

I was sure that whoever was going to read the email I had just sent would assume that by 'as soon as possible', I meant vaguely at some point within the next month, but that couldn't be further from the truth.

Bursts of excitement filled my lungs and tickled their way across them in the same way that wind stroked the tips of the leaves outside, forcing me to notice that it was windy today.

The blast of air that entered through the open window spurred me on as I ran through my apartment, completing the same process of collecting supplies that I had so many times, but finding that I had never enjoyed it as much as I did in that moment.

There was something beautiful about being alone and still truly content. It had taken me a long time to get there, but now I never wanted to leave.

I chewed on the end of my brush as the fresh white colour of the blank canvas taunted me.

I stained the white with a cloudy blue, noting how my heart ached when I remembered that it was the exact shade that Gabriel's eyes had gone when I brushed him off this morning.

A while ago I had jokingly said something about us being the kind of friends that put each other on good music, only for him to reply to it seriously and state that that's exactly what we now were.

I still didn't have enough words to thank him for the thoughtfulness that he put into the picnic he threw me last week, so I thought I would show my gratitude in the language that I spoke the most fluently.

The mix tape I had planned to give him was sitting on my desk right now, a sad reminder of how this morning had gone down.

As I overcame the irrational fear of schools that I had solely based on my own experiences and walked up the steps of Gabriel's university, I stopped in my tracks when I saw a girl wrapped around him.

My eyes were drawn to the spot where her lips met his cheeks.

Jealousy spread like a wildfire until my whole body was tingling with heat, then slowly tamped down as I realised that I had zero grounds to be jealous.

After all, I had ruined any chances that I could ever have with him by insisting that we remain as nothing but friends, so I couldn't very well stop him from finding that with someone else.

If anything, I was happy for him. I think.

His eyes met mine over the shoulder of the girl that was with him and widened slightly.

I watched as he pushed her off - or at least as close as he could get to it while still being the sweetheart that he always was - and began to stride over to me with purpose.

"Gabey who's that?" A shrill voice called, and a quick look had me connecting it to the body of the girl that now was following him and giving me a withering look.

My eyes narrowed slightly.

"Jenny, not now." Gabriel snapped, face hardened in annoyance.

Finally taking the hint she stormed away, the pounding of her feet against the ground filling the silence that stretched between us.

"She seems nice." I said when the girl had completely disappeared, lips twitching as I tried to keep a straight face.

That signature dimple hollowed into his cheek as he replied. "You don't have to lie."

I shrugged. "Okay. She seems like the opposite of nice."

I had never seen anybody laugh with every single muscle in their face until Gabriel. It was like watching light pour off his skin and give itself to everything that surrounded him.

Had he always been so painfully handsome?

Or had I just pushed it out of my mind for fear of what would happen if I didn't?

"Cora?" He called, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I said, trying to remember what we were talking about before I zoned out.

"I asked why you came to see me." He repeated.

The mixtape I was holding behind my back burned in my hands as I answered. "Oh. No reason. I'm not even sure why."

His face clouded with confusion as he took in what I'd said. "Okay."

I started to walk away from him, gesturing behind me. "I should probably get going."

The confusion distorted his features even further. "But you just got here?"

"Uh, yeah. But I should let you get back to the girl you were with." I said, giving him as convincing a smile as I could muster.

At the last part of my sentence his brows tightened together, forcing his whole face into a frown that made it seem as though he had a million things he wanted to say.

He decided on one, and the frown left his face. "I'm not with her."

Ignoring the relief I felt when he said that, I shook my head dismissively. "You don't have to explain yourself to me."

For some reason his face fell then, eyes fading to the colour I was spreading on the canvas right now.

"Bye Gabriel." I said with a smile, my hand lifting in a slow wave.

When he responded I was overcome with a crippling sense of deja vu. Just like he had outside the club all those weeks ago, Gabe replied "Bye candyfloss," in a voice that sounded oddly... pained?

I cast a shadow onto the ground as I walked away from him, which felt fitting somehow. That light that he gave out whenever he laughed didn't stretch to me.

It couldn't.

And the only reason was because I refused to let it.

- - - -

I smiled proudly at the canvas as I took in the finished piece. The five consecutive hours I'd dedicated to it were worth it since I was actually happy with how it had turned out.

The deep brown colour that coated my brush was one that I didn't often get to work with, so I had loved every second of layering it over the lighter parts of my subject's face.

The cloudy blue that I had originally used to coat the background had been replaced by an off white, which worked with the rest of the piece better.

Realising that it looked too perfect, I let my creativity take over. Strokes of green and white invaded the painting, as well as paper and stickers that I ran to get from the other room.

My eyes squinted as I scrutinised the canvas in more detail. I had painted a random woman so I found it strange how familiar she seemed.

Until I realised.

The woman that I'd painted was essentially a manifestation of my own thoughts.

The choice of her skin tone had nothing to do with the diversity brief that I'd been given for the gallery and everything to do with my own love and respect for dark-skinned women.

The 'mess' I had been so adamant on creating above her head represented the struggles overcome by every woman of colour on a daily basis.

To contrast that, the occasional stain that had made its way onto her face were a physical representation of the effects that constantly having to be so strong had on a person.

No wonder I had fallen in love with it.

I moved the canvas over to the art studio and placed it in an area that was free from any other paintings.

As my eyes travelled over it one last time, I made a promise that the other two wouldn't be seen next to it in the gallery unless they had that kind of substance and backstory too.

Feeling satisfied with what I had achieved, I padded to the living room and lifted my phone off the table.

Lana Del Ray's smooth voice filled the room as I put on 'Video Games', a song that I couldn't seem to stop myself from coming back to every other second.

The chords that introduced the chorus blessed my ears and I began to belt along. "It's you, it's all for you..."

The makeshift microphone I had formed with my hands copied the movements of my head as I nodded and bobbed it along, finding myself getting embarrassingly into my fake performance.

Laughter cut through the music and I jumped what must have been at least two feet off the carpet.

My head snapped around to be met with the sight of Gabriel leaning against my wall, eyes glittering with amusement. "Don't stop on my accord."

My own eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. "What the hell are you doing in my apartment?"

"You left the door open." He shrugged. "Probably shouldn't do that. What if I was a robber?"

My lips pursed at his nonchalance. "You'd make a terrible robber. And you still haven't told why you're here."

At that, his entire demeanour changed. "I don't need to. I think you know exactly why."

I think this is my favourite chapter that I've written so far :)

Also, I'm watching Ginny and Georgia right now and it's so funny how much Ginny and Marcus remind me of Gabe and Cora. He's even got the whole cocky but brooding at the same time thing down to a T lmao

Dear woc of every shade: I love you and you need to remember to love yourself! I hope this chapter reminded you of that <3

Lastly, guess what's happening in the next chapter!! I know how long you guys have been waiting and I feel like it's time hehe