16 | a close call

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CHAPTER 16

Before I was even aware of what I was doing my hands had moulded to his shirt, pulling him so close that I could feel his breath on my lips.

I flattened my palms against his chest, finding that any doubts or reservations I might have had were drowned out by the sound of his heartbeat.

His heart was racing, mirroring mine in the way it pounded against his chest violently.

Our pants filled the room, fading into the air and vibrating around us until I couldn't remember ever hearing anything else.

I recognised the way he was looking at me from the street all those weeks ago - as if I was the only thing he could see. The only thing that existed to him in that moment.

"I'm gonna kiss you now." He said, tracing my bottom lip with his fingertip and smirking at my widened eyes.

His voice became huskier at that statement, combining with the feeling of his skin over mine to initiate a series of flutters and skips in my stomach.

This was my out. Somewhere in the back of my mind - the last part that was still thinking rationally - was telling me to say no and walk away before things escalated any further.

But I didn't.

Instead I nodded, watching through hooded eyes as he moved to close the space between his lips and mine.

A loud crash sounded from another room in the house, forcing us to jump apart before our lips could touch.

"Sorry guys. I dropped one of my suitcases." Ivy said sheepishly from around the door frame before her eyes registered the scene that lay in front of her.

They travelled over to Gabe first, shirt disheveled thanks to my frantic fingers and curls tousled with the breeze of the window he had been standing in front of.

A slow smile stretched over her face as her gaze finished on me, noting how my cheeks had reddened in anticipation and lips were still parted, as if they were waiting for Gabriel to finish what he had started.

"I'll let you get back to it." She said with obvious humour in her voice, disappearing back around the door.

My head was still facing the direction that Ivy had come in from, refusing to let my eyes meet Gabriel's for fear that he would put me right back under the same spell and we would end up continuing where we left off.

That shouldn't have happened.

I had let myself get swept up in the moment, disregarding the promises I had made to myself in the process.

My face dropped as I realised how close I had been to giving in completely.

"Candyfloss." He called, placing his hand under my chin and turning my head to face him. "Stop thinking."

Desire still clouded his face and I could tell he genuinely thought it was that easy.

But it wasn't.

I winced internally as I stepped away from him and over to the canvas. "I've finished the painting so you can take it."

He frowned. "Cora."

I shook my head and held it out to him. "Here you go."

His brows pulled down as his eyes searched my face. "We don't have to kiss." He began. "Just don't push me away."

His words tugged on my heart and I immediately felt guilty.

But the reality of the situation was that I had no choice but to push him away.

If I let my mission to prove my parents wrong be derailed because of a handsome face and sweet words, then I might as well have not left in the first place.

There was too much at stake for that, regardless of how badly I wanted to grab his face and crash my lips to his.

I avoided his gaze as we made our way to the doorway, only meeting his eyes to offer a quiet goodbye in response to his "Bye candyfloss."

The door swung closed with a soft thud, and the symbolism wasn't lost on me.

I had also just shut the door on whatever I could've had with Gabriel.

The admission was too much for me, and I decided then and there that I was going to sleep my feelings away.

Hopefully a year or two would pass and I'd have forgotten all about him by then.

It was a long shot, but I was happy to try.

- - - -

I sat on the couch with the only two men that I was yet to push away from me.

Ben and Jerry had been comforting me with cold mouthfuls of cookie dough for the last half an hour.

I was trying to wallow in a pit of my own self pity, but it wasn't working since I was constantly faced with the knowledge that I had nobody to blame but myself.

I rubbed my temples as I replayed the events of yesterday afternoon in my head for the umpteenth time.

The almost kiss had scared me so much that I panicked and pushed him away.

But he'd all but said that he was happy to stay in my life as a friend if I wasn't ready for anything more.

"We don't have to kiss." He consoled me. "Just don't push me away."

And I had still shut him down.

Even though I could definitely use another friend right about now.

My eyes widened as I realised what an idiot I'd been, and I quickly wiped my fingers of ice cream before pulling out my phone.

As long as nothing more happened there was no reason why he couldn't just be a friend, and I needed to tell him that.

"I'm sorry for how I acted yesterday." I typed, sending it before I could second guess myself.

I placed my phone back in my pocket as Ivy came out of the room, armed with the excessive number of suitcases she had brought with her to London.

We had about an hour before she had to be at the airport catching a plane back home, and the look on her face told me she wanted to stay as badly as I wanted her to stay.

"I refuse to acknowledge the fact that I'm leaving until we get to the airport." She said with a wistful smile, sitting cross-legged on the couch.

"I need you to distract me." Her eyebrows wiggled. "Let's see..." She trailed off as if she was really considering it, but I knew exactly what she wanted to ask me.

"What did I walk in on yesterday? Don't think I've forgotten about it." She said, lips quirking up at the corners.

My face betrayed me by reacting to Ivy's question and her eyes lit up as she noticed it.

"Tell me everything." She said, knowing that she'd caught me.

A groan left my lips as I realised that she wouldn't be satisfied until I did.

"We almost kissed." I admitted.

A gasp left her lips. "Oh my god, finally!"

I watched as my words registered fully in her head and her eyes narrowed. "But what do you mean almost? Don't tell me you pushed him away."

I looked away guiltily. "I had to."

She sighed in exasperation. "Cora!"

"I've been meaning to say this for a while." She declared. "You have to understand that by pushing him away, you're letting Mum and Dad keep their hold over you. Don't punish yourself because of them."

I let her words stew in my mind for a while, finding that she actually had a good point.

"I didn't think about it like that." I said contemplatively.

She nodded. "They've sunk their claws so far into you that you don't even notice they're still there."

"I'm trying to make it right with Gabe, though. I texted him right before you came in." I told her, watching as her face stretched with a proud smile.

"See." She praised. "Progress."

"What about you and Jake?" I asked, my eyes gleaming with mischief as her cheeks slowly reddened. "I saw how he was looking at you on the night of the party."

She cleared her throat and shook her head. "Nothing's happening. I'm still with Owen."

My mouth dropped open in shock. "What? Ivy you can't seriously be thinking of going back to that asshole."

"I didn't mean it like that - I'm breaking up with him as soon as I get the chance." She quickly explained. "I just meant that I'm technically still dating someone so nothing could happen with Jake."

I let out a sigh of relief before she began to speak again. "I think I need a break from guys anyway. It's been a while since I've been by myself. I miss it."

My eyes softened in understanding before my phone vibrated in my pocket.

I picked it up and glanced at the screen to find that Gabriel had replied to my message apologising for how yesterday had gone down.

"It's okay gorgeous, I get it." He began. "If you tell me where your head's at, maybe I can help."

Warmth spread through me as I read his text, thankful he wasn't upset about how I reacted.

"I'm taking Ivy to the airport today so I'll be busy. Can we talk tomorrow?" I typed, knowing there was a lot I had to say to him.

"I'll be waiting." He replied, and I just knew that those perfect dimples were showing.

- - - -

My vision was blurred by the silent tears that lined my eyes and rolled down my cheeks, refusing to stay in no matter how hard I tried.

Ivy and I were locked in a tight embrace, shoulders heaving with our emotions.

She didn't want to go.

I didn't want her to go.

I pressed my face against her arm, revelling in the fact that I had been able to see her in person after spending so long separated by miles of distance, connected by only radio waves and blurry screens.

We reluctantly untangled ourselves from each other and I wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my jumper. "I'm going to miss you so much." I said, voice wobbling with sadness.

"Me too." She smiled sadly, lunging at me one more time before making her way over to the airport security gates.

At the last second she spun around shouting, "Go get him Cora! Stop overthinking everything."

I was mortified, watching in horror as multiple heads swung my way.

She laughed at my reaction, waving as she finished her journey to the gates and began to establish the gap between us that felt as if it would always be there.

I walked out of the airport, placing my headphones over my ears and drowning out the part of me that wanted to run after Ivy and beg her to stay.

Music had a healing quality and I let it tend to my wounds, forgetting about all my problems for as long as the songs lasted.

Shame they couldn't last forever.

I'm sorry for not letting them kiss - I can promise that when they do it will be

worth the wait though hehe

Also I hope you guys are frustrated

with Cora but able to understand

her thought process at the same time ❤️