Corrupted Chaos: Chapter 6

I expected the Monday morning after my lapse in judgment to be a dumpster fire of a day. I’d ignored about ten calls from Gerald on Sunday while I obsessed about the night before. And the texts were ridiculous to say the least.

Gerald: We need to talk. I still love you and I’m sorry, okay? Let’s meet somewhere and hash it out.

Gerald: Izzy, you fucked up my car. At least see me so you can make it up to me.

Gerald: I’m breaking things off with Lucy, okay? She wasn’t even that good. She wasn’t you.

Gerald: I miss you. Can I come over tonight?

Me: Lose my address. We’re done.

That was an easy decision. Dealing with him directly after having the best sex of my life proved we’d never have worked anyway. My feelings for him were nothing like what I felt for Cade.

Which was completely idiotic.

Would I lose my job? Would he tell anyone? Cade had always been somewhat of an enigma. No one knew anything about his lifestyle. He was the quiet, eccentric brother to the larger-than-life Sebastian Armanelli. But he was still the brother of a mob boss. I knew he had power. I knew he could get rid of me with one command. He’d changed my job with such an order—a mere swipe of a mouse and a few keystrokes. It was nothing to him.

Keeping myself busy was the most important thing I could do now. I canceled Sunday plans with my sister over text and whipped through cleaning my tiny apartment. I blasted Alanis Morissette the whole time in the hopes she would lift my mood.

“Don’t look at me like I’m crazy, Bug,” I mumbled as I hurried past my black cat, who was perched on the couch. She’d not moved a muscle while I’d been bustling around all morning. “I have to keep busy.”

She blinked at me like that was preposterous. To her, it was. The cat didn’t move for anything. She even took my favorite spot on the couch sometimes, and when I’d try to shoo her, she’d just meow like I should have the decency not to bother her.

She normally won the argument by glaring at me with those glowing gold eyes. I’d gotten her from a humane society six months ago, and I really couldn’t say no to her. I figured she’d lived a hard enough life already. The humane society told me she was a stray someone had brought in after a cat fight. She had a scar above her eye to show for it and only half an ear.

When I saw her alone in her cage, I figured we could be pals. I had scars too, though they were much harder to see.

Gerald had a fit because he was allergic and said he wouldn’t be able to stay at my place. I’d felt guilty, but really, my apartment was mine. Plus, I hadn’t loved having him there in the first place. Only Lucas had been privy to my mess when he’d come to hang out over the past six months, otherwise I would go to Gerald’s when he was in town.

I pet Bug for another minute as I glanced around my space. “Guess you won’t miss Gerald that much, huh?” She didn’t even muster a meow for him. “He was nice to my family, though. My mom even said he’d make for a stable husband.”

Bug let her head fall onto her paw like she thought the idea was dumb.

“I know. He would have been boring and a total cheater. Plus, I have you. And a great job . . . hopefully.”

I sighed and stared at two of my paintings on the wall. I’d taken up painting when I moved out on my own. If I wasn’t working, I was painting a canvas or a piece of furniture. My home was filled with reds, pinks, blues and yellows—every color of the rainbow really.

Today, I got up off the couch and chose red. I kept canvases and paint in my spare bedroom. I should have laid down paper around my easel, but I couldn’t stop how fast the painting came to me, how fast I wanted it out of me.

A rose this time. With bold and broad strokes, black lines and shadows emerged, and I knew this wouldn’t be a piece of perfection. They never were. I twisted my wrist as I painted some of the petals, then grabbed my spray paint to speckle it and mess it up. All my paintings were this way, never perfect. Never clean.

Hours later, I stood back to admire my work and then left quickly, ready to avoid the space for at least a month or two. It was the one place where I didn’t keep my emotions buried deep, and that was a hazardous area to visit for me.

I’d think of my sobriety, and I’d consider if it was all worth it. What would be one more hit to ease a feeling? But one time was all it would take to let everyone down, including myself.

When Lilah called that Monday morning after the party, I hit ignore, hoping to avoid her too.

I stuffed my butt into a black pencil skirt and added a light-green blouse which tied into a bow at the neckline. After a swipe of lip gloss, I stepped into my stilettos, grabbed the coffee thermos I’d made for myself, and hurried out, calling an Uber on the way. The fall breeze whipped over my cheeks, and the sounds of Chicago filled my ears. Cars honking, people shuffling by on their cell phones. The bustle here never stopped.

Lilah called again, and I groaned, pressing ignore again. “You know where Stonewood Tower is?” I asked the Uber driver.

She nodded enthusiastically. “I always imagine you all working up there in like a heavenly office, tossing out ideas and having meals catered,” the girl said.

I smiled softly at her. “They’re always hiring.”

She waved me off. “Ah. I’m working on my master’s. Maybe one day.”

My phone rang again. Now Dante. They weren’t going to stop. “Dante, you letting my sister boss you around now?” I answered, wiggling in my skirt.

I heard her mumble in the background, “See. I knew she’d answer your call.”

“Just pick up when she calls,” he grumbled, sounding like one of my irritated brothers.

“You know, you’re not my boss. I don’t have to answer her calls just because you say so,” I pointed out.

“But I used to be your boss, and that residual training should have you listening every now and then,” he chuckled.

“Oh my God. What do you guys want?”

“Well, I wanted you to answer your phone because I got your niece here causing me enough trouble. She won’t sleep at night. At all, Izzy. I don’t know how babies do it.” I chuckled at the sound of his voice mixed with irritation and awe. “I’m serious, Izzy, I don’t need Lilah worrying all damn day about you for no good reason.”

This is how I knew Dante understood me better than my siblings ever would. He’d grown up near me, worked with me, and become the brother-in-law I needed. He knew I wasn’t going to go off the deep end. “To her, it’s probably a good reason, Dante.”

“I don’t get siblings, okay?” he admitted. “She’s worrying for nothing.”

“To her, I might have OD’d.” I shrugged, trying not to hide the hurt in my voice.

“So then answer. That way she won’t think that,” he replied, like it was that easy.

I sighed because maybe it should have been that easy, maybe I shouldn’t have taken her worry for me offensively. “Give her the phone.”

I heard rustling and a baby cooing as my sister took over. “If it isn’t my elusive sister who needs to come visit very soon.”

“Hardly elusive. I just texted you.”

“Yeah, yesterday to cancel on me. What were you doing all day that prevented you from driving over?”

We were only thirty minutes apart, but I lived in the city while Lilah had moved to a farm back in our hometown not too far from our parents.

“I know it’s not far. I just had a lot to do.”

The voice that sounded exactly like mine pushed back with irritation. “I want you to answer when I call, not be busy, Izzy. You weren’t even working on Sunday. Now I’ve got like five minutes till you have to go.”

I sighed. Why did I tell her everything? Being honest about my schedule ended in her knowing about all my free time.

“See. You sighed. I knew something was wrong. I could feel it. You had that early Halloween party, then you didn’t answer after canceling plans with me and . . .” Her silence spoke volumes. Over the years, her trust in me had been broken. I wouldn’t get it back quickly.

Or maybe ever. I wondered if, to them, I was the addict in the family they’d always have to worry about. Maybe I’d need to reassure my sister I wasn’t going to be spiraling for the rest of my life.

But wasn’t that what I should be thankful for? I was lucky to have someone who would actually care about me like that forever, yet sometimes, I was tired of confirming my health—especially after nine years of sobriety.

“I’m fine, Lilah.”

“I know you’re fine that way,” she scoffed, but I heard the relief in her voice. “Something else is wrong, though. How was the Halloween party?”

“It was good.” I just hooked up with my boss and broke up with my boyfriend on the same night. Quite possibly ruined his car—might need a lawyer for that—and potentially could lose my job if my boss decides I’m too much of a headache. “Everything’s fine. But I have to get to work.”

“You’ve got five minutes. And if you don’t give me something, I’ll just sic Mom on you.”

“Okay. That’s below the belt.” I straightened in my seat.

“It’s not. I’m staying in her good graces, though, because I gave her a grandkid, so you’d better start talking.”

“I should have ruined your relationship with Dante when I had the chance,” I grumbled.

That got her laughing at least. “And to think I felt bad for you when he picked me over you.”

We laughed and some of her anger dissipated.

“So, you want me to call Mom, then? Have her come to your place and pry into your life?”

I stopped laughing. “You wouldn’t. You’d better not. Don’t be a bitch.”

“I’m a loving bitch, though.”

I weighed my options, and as my work building neared, I figured she was going to find out anyway. Cade probably shared things with his family and that included Dante. I really hated that they were cousins now. It’s how I’d met him. He’d shown up on my first day on the job with Dante and was introduced as Dante’s cousin and the head of cybersecurity.

So, I bit the bullet. “I have a lot going on with Gerald. We broke up, but he keeps texting . . . and then I might have hooked up with Cade.” I mumbled it quietly, hoping she would just leave it, but when I heard her gasp, I quickly continued. “But it was like a hate hookup, you know? Like, it won’t happen again, and now I have to face him at work, but he’s never there usually, so maybe I won’t see him. And I just hope to God I don’t lose my job.”

The line stayed silent. So long that I figured Delilah had hung up.

“You there?”

“What?” she screeched.

“I have to go to work.”

“Oh my God. I knew Cade had it bad for you,” she squealed. “Remember when you made the joke about kissing Dante at the fire and Cade looked like he was about to blow?”

“He didn’t—”

“He did,” she said with such conviction, I wasn’t going to argue. “And now it all makes sense. You were supposed to kiss an Armanelli man, you just got the wrong one the first time.”

I hated that she took what I’d done to her so lightly. “I never should have kissed Dante, Lilah—”

“If you apologize for that one more time, I’m driving over to smack you. It was the push I needed to realize I loved him and you found out he was just your friend anyway. Now, Cade, I bet, is not just a friend.”

I heard Dante’s voice snap out a “What?”

I was going to kill her. “Do not tell Dante. Or tell him not to say anything to Cade. I don’t want to make this a big deal at all.”

“Of course it’s a big deal.”

“You did hear me when I said that I broke up with Gerald, right?” I heaved a sigh and combed my fingers through my hair while sipping on the coffee I’d put in a thermos before running out of the house.

“I did. I bet Cade was a better kisser.”

He was. Damn it. “Lilah, stay focused. I really thought Gerald was so good for me and the family.”

I hated that I’d let the one thing the family needed to see from me slip away. Gerald was stable. He kept on an even keel. He was what they wanted for me.

Except that he cheated.

“For the family? Like us?” She burst out laughing. “We all hated him. You realize that our brothers were taking bets on when you’d finally break up with him, right? So good riddance.”

I choked on my coffee. She’d used the exact same tone that I had before I spray-painted him.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. You all didn’t tell me you hated him!”

“Well, we want you to be happy,” she admitted, and I wrinkled my nose to keep my emotions at bay. They all coddled me too much.

As my Uber pulled up in front of Stonewood Tower, I sighed. “I really have to go. And don’t worry, I’m not at all sad about Gerald, in case you were wondering.”

“Well, I wasn’t really because he’s such a boring doormat.”

“Lilah! You said you liked him,” I reminded her again.

“Because you were dating him!”

“So, what? Now you like Cade? Because that’s not happening,” I said with emphasis as I stomped up toward the building in my stilettos.

“I think it’s happening. I want to go on a double date.”

“You’re out of your mind. Like way on another planet if you think that’s happening.”

“We’ll see.”

“Goodbye, you freak.”

“Takes one to know one!” she singsonged before I hung up on her.

The day was going to be terrible. After my conversation with Lilah, I could feel it.

Although Cade had never showed up at the office before, I knew he’d be there today. Somehow. Some way. Even as I set up my desk and sat down to go through my task list for the day, I knew I was already behind the eight ball.

Especially when my task list was empty.

“Juda, I don’t have any tasks listed. You having the same problem?”

“Um, no. My task list is very full. I was going to ask you about it because it seems you’ve added items back onto my list that I’ve already assigned you.” He scratched his thinning brown hair. “That’s unacceptable—”

“Izzy is strictly on IT today, Juda,” Cade said from across the hall as he made his way over from the elevators.

Every head in the office whipped toward his voice. I think I even heard Penelope gasp.

Cade Armanelli in a three-piece suit—black and pressed like he’d walked off the set of a photo shoot—was a sight for any fashionable woman, let alone for our motley team who barely attempted to dress anywhere close to business casual for work.

Cassie wore a damn T-shirt most days, and Juda was currently in shorts.

Thank God for my pencil skirt because at least he couldn’t look down his nose at me for not putting in the effort. And I needed that boost of confidence to let the furious question fly out of my mouth. “Strictly IT? You’re kidding me, right?”

“Why would a boss ever kid about assignments, Izzy? Your job title is IT specialist, isn’t it?”

Hands on my hips, I faced off with him. “We all do IT here, and most of us do more than that, including me.”

I don’t think anyone talked back to Cade, ever. Granted, we mostly communicated through emails or phone calls because he was never in the office, and none of those calls or emails were ever directed at me. Still, I got around my IT title because Juda passed most of his work off to me. He knew I wanted more than technical difficulty problems. I wanted to code and set up security infrastructures. I wanted to use my education, especially considering I was good at what I did.

Cade’s attempt to control this was ridiculous, especially since he was never present, and I was shocked that my team didn’t jump in immediately to back me up. Cassie and Penelope simply sat there, staring at him with dreamy eyes, and the guys all stood straighter, like they had to compete with his presence.

Didn’t anyone remember this was the guy whose office desk was collecting dust? Except for this last weekend when I was spread-eagle across it.

My mind was not going there. Even as he smirked at me.

He didn’t have an established presence here like he was supposed to. Still, despite that, the moment Cade walked in, this was his floor, and even the Stonewoods knew it.

I chewed on my cheek as I stared at him, but he looked straight through me. His emotion—the pure lust and passion he’d had for me a few nights ago—was gone. It was like his gaze pierced a hole in me, gutted me, and moved right on.

I hated that he had that power over me, that he controlled my job, that he knew exactly how furious I would be about the change.

I flipped my ponytail and continued. “I’m not sure you understand that I help with a lot of the infrastructure that Juda handles.”

“I’m sorry, are you saying I don’t understand the team, or are you saying that Juda can’t handle his own duties?” Cade tilted his head.

“I assure you I can, sir.” Juda stepped up and threw me right under the bus. He knew I’d been doing his work for over a year now.

“So I guess Izzy’s saying I don’t understand this team then.”

This guy. He wanted me to snap. If he could make me resign, he wouldn’t have to deal with the potential HR hell storm I could cause just from our little elevator fling.

“Is this about—”

He cut me off. “If you’d like to discuss this further, you can see me in my office.”

Penelope’s eyes bulged, and Cassie’s head snapped back to her computer as Cade glanced around. Braxton hadn’t even looked up to begin with. Our team didn’t want to interact with the boss. Over this past year, we’d gotten the message loud and clear. Cade operated alone. He assigned certain projects, but not the big ones, nuclear ones, ones that could cause destruction if not handled correctly.

Lucas, the freaking best friend anyone could have, cleared his throat. “I’m happy to help Izzy with the team structure if—”

“I’d like to see you in your office,” I announced quickly, not willing to have Lucas step in for me. Dude was in advertising and not even supposed to be on this floor. He was the only one ready to walk the plank with me, my ride-or-die. But my loyalty to him was too strong to let him do that.

I was more than ready to face Cade’s wrath alone because I had some fury of my own.