No, I Didn’t Tell Him

Savannah

Uncle Jonah has been working so much lately that I haven’t had a chance to talk to him about what’s going on.

Not with Damon making me into a Luna or anything else about my parents’ past.

Not like I’ve been very focused this week since in a matter of hours I will be eighteen years old and will be forced to go through my first birthday without my family.

If this was any other year, my mom would make my breakfast. My birthday eggs.

Dad would wake me up by crawling in bed with me and strapping my birthday hat on as smoothly as he could.

Morgan would be at the end of the bed with a camera ready to snap a picture of me the second I woke up.

Traditions gone.

~Just like them.~

Uncle Jonah would call me at lunch. Percy would have stayed up late to be the first one to tell me happy birthday.

My friends would have decorated my locker. My teachers would have brought something for me, like last year with the five-pound donut.

My choir teacher Mrs. Joel would sing me the happy birthday song and we would dance around the classroom.

I have five hours before I was technically born and only thirteen minutes until my alarm will go off.

I made it clear I didn’t want to celebrate. I vetoed everything Percy came up with and flat out refused to tell Damon.

If you would have told me I would be hiding from my eighteenth birthday I would have laughed in your face. Back in my old bedroom I had an ongoing countdown hung on my wall.

Now? I want to sleep it away.

I want to pretend this isn’t happening.

My alarm blares. The sound a lot like the horn in the ~Hunger Games~ to announce the killing has started.

Maybe I’m being dramatic but I don’t give a moody fuck.

Percy is the only reason I make it out of bed.

Tiptoeing into my room, he pulls out my clothes for me and even helps me out from underneath the covers.

He says nothing. Just doing the job I should have been doing myself. No fuss or whine about him tending to me like a baby.

Sitting in my chair, Percy works around me. Even slipping my socks on and tying my laces up for me.

Sleeping in a tank top and boy shorts, Percy has no problem pulling a simple army-green dress on over me and handing me a bra.

Nodding, I know this is the only part I actually have to do myself.

“I’ll get your meds together.” The first thing he says, leaving me alone to finish changing.

Making sure my boobs don’t fly free, I lock them down and fix my dress.

Walking out of my room with my phone and jacket, I find Uncle Jonah and Percy at the table.

Normally uncle is already gone, hasn’t come home, or is walking out the door as soon as we get up. But today, unfortunately, is different.

~Today…is my birthday.~

I said I didn’t want to acknowledge it.

I meant it.

Percy hands me my fistful of pills and a glass of water. I down it and take my seat at the table.

“Good morning, sweetheart.” Uncle Jonah slides a plate my way.

A pancake with a sad face in whipped cream.

The slight smirk makes my uncle chuckle before placing a plate of bacon that is broken into the words “fuck off.”

My smirk grows to a soft smile and a nod at my uncle’s good job.

My dad didn’t wake me up, no pictures from my baby brother, and no I didn’t get my mom’s birthday eggs, but this wasn’t awful either.

And that hurt to know it.

That’s what’s fucked up about missing the dead. It hurts so much to know those traditions will never be done the same again, but it hurts just as much to know you’re moving on.

It’s all the basic death feelings mixed with guilt.

~It just sucks.~

~Massive donkey dick.~

“I got you something. It is not a birthday present, before you say anything. Just something you’ll like that I saw and was too good of a deal to pass up.”

With Uncle Jonah standing up and the mouthful of bacon that I stuffed in my mouth, I grab my sad face pancake and follow him to the front door, Percy coming behind us.

“Now, like I said. This is definitely not a birthday present. I wouldn’t do such a terrible thing.” I nod again, liking that they have taken this as seriously as I wanted.

“I saw it for sale, it was a good deal, and with the progress you’ve made, I thought it might help. Percy has a car, you need something too.”

With that, my uncle opens the door to show a rainbow tie-dyed dirt bike with a black bow tied on the bright pink seat.

A sign stuck to the side of it in cardboard saying “not a birthday present.”

My jaw dropping and the sound of surprise coming from my mouth is taken as a good sign, Uncle Jonah giving Percy the go ahead to bring out something wrapped in newspaper with another slab of cardboard with “not a birthday present” drawn on it.

“It’s only wrapped so it didn’t get dirty.” Uncle Jonah shrugs his shoulders and acts like this isn’t a big deal.

Ripping the paper, I find a matching helmet.

“It came with the bike. I didn’t pick it out.”

One thing I knew for sure, he most definitely did pick this out.

“I can’t believe this.” I gawk at the bike and back down at the helmet in my hands.

“Savannah, this isn’t a big deal. Right, Percy? It was at auction and I knew you’d like it. It was delivered this morning. Just bad timing.”

I nod, taking the helmet and putting it on.

Flipping the glass screen up, I look at my uncle and back to my cousin.

“I can’t believe you got me a bike before letting me get a tattoo.”

I pull my jacket on and straddle my new bike. I don’t know if I can drive it, but I’m not feeling any worse from sitting on it. Maybe driving around with Damon helped a lot more than I thought.

“You don’t need a license for it. But you do need insurance. I got it put on already. So if you wanted, it would be okay if you drove to school.”

He tossed me the keys and Percy pulled the sign off.

“Hey Percy, wanna race?”

My uncle’s smile fell flat and his pupils dilated.

“No! Absolutely not. No racing. No weaving in and out of traffic, no going across people’s lawns, no driving on the sidewalks. Oh dear God, what did I do?”

He rubbed a hand over his face and sighed.

“I’m just as surprised as you are. I can’t believe you got me one. You’re the one who took my razor scooter away.”

Grabbing our book bags from the house, Percy is in his own little car and backing out of the driveway.

“I took it away because you hit that freckle-face boy with it and was riding it off the roof into the pool, Savannah.”

Starting it up and figuring out how to work it, I laughed maniacally before shutting the glass over my face and driving off the steps and down into the road.

So far so good.

I didn’t feel anything messing me up. Right now all I had was excitement.

“Savannah? Did you hear those rules?”

Uncle Jonah coming after me. Percy driving off slowly with the window down and looking back at us.

I give him a thumbs up and add some gas when I let go of the brake. A jerky motion makes my uncle freak out like I’m going to fall off my tricycle.

Another thumbs up and I drive off.

Side by side with Percy and out on the open road—going under the speed limit but it was amazing. I kept that feeling of flying and being free like I had with Damon.

The depressing thoughts of this morning gone like the ground behind me.

Out on the open road and feeling pure full-fledged freedom made my mind clear and my mood drastically improved.

Percy whooped and turned the music up as we drove to school. The song ~Cockiness~ by Rihanna blasting at the highest level Percy had in his little red Fiero.

Even though I’m sure he couldn’t hear me, I sang along and was really feeling it. Pulling into the school parking lot, we drew a crowd.

Parking my bike next to Percy’s car, we high-fived and strolled up into school like the cat and kitten we are.

~Maybe my birthday won’t be godawful.~

And that’s all I’m hoping for.