Let’s Take a Ride

Savannah

“Get on, I’ll give you a ride.”

Damon holds out the helmet and acts so nonchalant like it’s the easiest thing in the world. But he doesn’t know… I can’t get in a car without heavy medication.

Being on the road in general is fucking terrifying. I haven’t even been able to sit in a car without being doped up.

All I see is death traps.

“Are you going to take it or what?”

He wags it, rushing me, but I can’t tell him this. I can’t tell Damon Henley that I am about to piss my black leggings at the thought of getting on the back of his motorcycle.

“No thanks. I’ll walk.” I spin on my heels and make a rash move for the sidewalk.

Maybe he will just drive past me and leave me alone?

“Savannah, just get on the bike.”

He huffs. I know he’s thinking I won’t get on because I just want my way.

“No. It’s fine. Just go. I’ll meet you there,” I toss over my shoulder and walk faster.

Maybe if I can get away from him fast enough then he won’t want to push this?

Here’s hoping.

“Savannah.” He takes hold of my shoulder and whips me back to face him. The look on his face is twisted like he is trying to figure out what to say.

If I read douchebag better maybe I would say it almost looks like he’s…concerned.

“Look, I was an asshole for saying that thing about you being broken. That was fucked up. I’m man enough to admit that. Just get on the bike and I’ll take you to the bar.”

His hands leave me, running one up his face and through his hair like he isn’t comfortable admitting a damn thing but at least he did.

If he is meeting me with honesty, then I have to do the same, right?

I take a breath just like he had and step one more time back before closing my eyes and forcing these words out.

“Thank you for apologizing, I appreciate that…but I still… I can’t get on your dumb motorcycle… I can’t.”

I turn back around and start in again to get away. I am strong, but something about Damon or anyone really knowing how far the break inside me goes is too much.

I already tread that line with my therapy, I don’t want to feel broken with him.

Isn’t that the point of dealing with him in the first place?

Well, no, I got sucked into his crap, but it’s the not worrying of the past and future that makes it worth it.

I can hear him groan and cuss under his breath before he comes after me, this time before he can grab me I spin and shove him back.

“Stop grabbing on me!” I yell, standing on my tippy toes so I actually get in the face of this dark angel.

“Boss the fuck up and get on the bike! Goddamn it, are you really worried about what your piggy uncle will think?” he spat back, his pale face turning red.

A few stray inky black locks fall down into his eyes, making the starless sky color of them seem more like a dark-wash blue than before.

“No! I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks, I just… I don’t owe you an explanation!”

I match his fury, not backing down.

He laughs, that cold chuckle, and the smirk comes back into play.

“Right, the ~goddess~.” He scoffs and shakes his head, mocking me in the way he says the title.

“That’s right, ~the goddess~, you biker bitch. Oh my bad, I mean prince. So sorry.”

I fake a star-crossed pity look and pout my bottom lip out.

His face contorts to a scowl that would make most kids at school scurry away with their tail tucked between their legs, but like I’ve said since the beginning, fuck this guy.

Who the hell is he, trying to boss me around?

I’m already being blackmailed, forced to clean his nasty room.

He tried humiliating me the last time I was at the bar, and not to mention it’s dangerous for me to go there since I’m the deputy sheriff’s niece.

And for what?

Because some uppity bitches at school stole my clothes and I happened to borrow his?

We stare. The no blinking contest we have going on is an elite championship round type of match, one I will not lose.

The seconds tick by, our intensity growing and burning each other by the fire inside us.

I won’t break, I never have, and I will not be sucked into the obsolete vortex that is Damon Henley, not now or ever.

Even right now, I’m fighting my vagina to stay in her lane so I don’t jump on him and steal the air from his lungs in a mind-blowing kiss.

I’m stronger than my sex drive. I know it. Even if my pussy doesn’t.

Like a switch is flipped, Damon’s eyes soften.

Turning from solid pieces of black coal to the soft midnight black-blue of the night sky.

“You’re scared, aren’t you?” His whole face is cleared of the scowl and replaced by a gentle smile, like he is just now seeing me for the first time.

“N-n-no, no. NO, I’M NOT!”

Damon nods, swaggering to me with every step I take back.

“Afraid of a simple ride, Van? I expected more from a ~goddess~,” he teases.

“I’m not afraid of a ride. Fuck off, Damon.”

I toss my hair off my shoulder and roll my eyes, cocking my hip out with a fold of my arms.

“Then let’s go, Shortcake. Take my hand, I promise I got you.”

He reaches out for me, but I slap it away and flip him off.

He chuckles for real this time, his hands on his hips as he looks up at the sky like he is ready to scream “why me, God?!”

But this is his doing, all of it.

I was happy with walking away after returning his stuff, but now, here we are.

His whole body tenses like the rod that’s been shoved so far up his ass like some walking puppet has snapped.

“It’s not me you’re afraid of, is it? Or the bike? That’s why you don’t drive to school or anything? You don’t even jaywalk.”

~Fuck!!!~

He looks back at his bike and then back at me. I can see the wheels turning and cogs lining up. He is piecing together shit he shouldn’t, and I don’t know what to do.

“You know, a bike isn’t like a car. They’re cages, motorcycles are freedom. If you were scared of being on the road or whatever, it’s a good choice to start out on the back of my bike.”

He rubs the back of his neck and ruffles his hair.

“I am not having this conversation with you. Why does it matter if I walk to biker country or not?”

“For fuck’s sake Savannah, it’s 100 damn degrees outside and it’s going to take you two fucking hours to get there. You need to get over your fear one way or another.”

I shake my head and fight the memory of the crash again.

~The plans to go to the movies, just a family day.~

~The ride there, the bickering of Morgan begging mom to let him go to a show by himself.~

~Dad fighting with his road rage at some passing driver, cussing under his breath and trying to work it into something more kid-friendly.~

~Mom’s voice cutting in over the radio.~

~“Jeremiah, I heard that and I’m sure they did too.”~

~Dad’s blue eyes in the rearview mirror where I met them with a full-face smile, cheesing from ear to ear.~

~“I didn’t hear anything that couldn’t be unheard by a tattoo.”~

~Mom and Dad both laugh, telling me to wait till I was older even though I had been begging for one for the past few months.~

~I knew I could get one, but I wanted it done professionally and needed a parent to do that with.~

~Then, boom.~

~Tire blows.~

~Wheels squealing.~

~Brakes hissing.~

~That hit the car took as the water took over as the driver.~

~The way the seat belt locked and my voice left me in nothing but a whirlwind of glass shattering, eyes closing, free-falling mess of a hollow shell.~

~The way the water of the river below caught the car like a pit of liquid quicksand coming in faster than I could breathe.~

~Mom’s blonde hair.~

~The blood making it impossible to see anything else.~

“Savannah! Hey, Savannah! Breathe, shit, shit, shit, breathe, breathe through it.”

~The water looked clear at first.~

~Morgan’s nose bleeding.~

“What happened?!”

~Mom’s hands worked on the buckles.~

~The water rising.~

~Stinging my leg.~

“I don’t FUCKING know! We were talking about getting on my bike and she started shaking and then she fell, she stopped breathing. She’s shaking.”

~The water’s cold.~

~My back hurts so bad.~

~I can’t move.~

“Vannah, Van, open your eyes. You’re safe. You’re not back at the river. You’re with me. Breathe. Savannah, come back!”

~Morgan’s tears mixing with his bloody mouth to call for Mom.~

~It’s so loud.~

~He’s so loud.~

“Do something!”

~She isn’t coming back.~

~It’s cold.~

~And everything hurts.~

~It’s too loud.~

“Hold her while I get her meds!”

“Savannah, breathe, breathe, baby, please, I didn’t mean to push you like this. I’m sorry. Breathe. I’m here. You’re safe.”

~Angel.~

“I’ve got you, feel my hand? I’ve got you.”

~He has me.~

“That’s it.”

~I can feel his hands in mine.~

~Kisses on my face.~

“Breathe, just like that.”

~Kiss.~

~Kiss.~

~Kiss.~

“She’s breathing again!”

~Footsteps.~

“Does she need that? She’s coming out of it, look.”

“And when she does, what do you think she’s going to be like? Hey, Tigger, it’s Piglet, I have to give you this, just keep breathing and relax, I’m sorry about this.”