Hello Name Is

Savannah

After I pushed Damon off that bench, I effectively avoided him like the plague.

Percy and I stuck together like glue. I didn’t need to tell him what I did and what I was feeling because he knew.

I NEVER act like that, like a protective mother hen or whatever, unless I care.

I could make jokes, play all day long, but if someone I cared about got hurt I lost my shit.

Not just now but before my world ended.

I remember when I was little, maybe six or seven, and I was at Uncle Jonah’s for the summer.

Back when he and Aunt Zoey were still married and she actually gave a fuck about what went down in her family.

Uncle Jonah came home from work with a broken nose from a guy who fled after being pulled over.

I remember everything about that day, about dinner and how my uncle explained to his wife what happened…maybe he thought I wasn’t paying attention but I was.

When he said the man’s name, it forever embedded in my memory.

Callian Bares.

The next day, while Aunt Zoey took us to the park, I waited until she walked off to smoke and, with Percy following my every step, I ran to the library.

In my little kid mind I had this plan of getting to the library, which was six blocks from the park, looking up Callian Bares’s address, going to his house, kicking his ass and getting back before she ever knew we were gone.

That obviously didn’t work and we got our asses paddled, but the summer I was ten years old, I met Malachi Bares.

I hadn’t let it go.

Like any sane person.

Talking to this punk-ass kid, I found out Callian was his uncle.

So I kicked Malachi’s ass to send a message.

Since we were at summer camp—more like a day group of random kids that couldn’t get babysat—they called our guardians.

And who showed up for Malachi?

You guessed it.

His uncle, Callian.

I have never kicked someone so many times in the nuts while screaming childlike profanities.

If you think I have a mouth now, back when I wasn’t allowed to curse, I was fudge this, frick that, get bent, you dirty gutter snipe, aholes and dholes everything.

I would call people penises and vaginas, which my father explained still wasn’t okay since they knew I was actually calling them dicks and pussies.

I argued that, yes that’s what I meant, but all they said was I couldn’t say the word, which I wasn’t—I had effectively found the gray area and they shouldn’t be mad.

Uncle Jonah got there and pulled me off, kicking and screaming, might I add.

Percy cheered me on and Malachi rolled in a ball in the corner.

I’ve always been clear.

Do not touch my motherfucking family.

Don’t do it.

It doesn’t matter to me how long it will take for vengeance to be doled out because I will be the judge, jury, and executioner on your bitch ass if you harm a hair on their head.

Now that I’m here and my list of those I care about has dwindled down, I take a more...violent approach than I ever have.

It’s scary.

Knowing you have no real control.

Bad stuff happens all the time.

I was living proof of just that.

The fact Damon got that type of response from me is mind-boggling to say the least, but it’s also REALLY fucking terrifying.

I have never stopped. The only people I care about were my family and they would get my protection until their deathbeds, then I would protect their memory.

Damon isn’t family.

So what happens when whatever this thing between us is no more?

How can I feel this way over someone who will be a candle in the wind soon enough?

I am what you call a ~ride or die girl~.

I cannot, under any circumstances, ride and or die for Damon Henley.

***

Two weeks went by, my normal routine started back up, and everything seemed to simmer down.

Moonpie and Sunshine left me alone at school, along with any side quest of bullshit that may have been slung my way.

I kept up with my therapy appointments and my regular scheduling like I had been doing for the past eight fucking months.

Physical therapy, mental therapy, group therapy, and a plethora of ongoing doctors’ appointments to check my knee, my leg, my back, my neck, and everything that goes along with that.

I had a laceration on my left kidney and something whack happened to my pancreas during the crash.

So I have a continuing amount of appointments I seem to keep.

The fact I can’t get in another car makes it a little more difficult since if I ever need to actually get in one I have to be sedated—heavily at that.

But luckily that only happened when I came home from the hospital the first time.

After that Uncle Jonah gets some doctors to come to the house or I get to walk to the hospital here in town and they get shipped in.

When my group came back around and I found myself sitting in my familiar spot on the green ball in the neighborhood community center and my turn was up, I couldn’t find anything real to say.

“No issues this past two weeks, biker prince is leaving me alone. No problems anymore. I’m clean, no bad habits sneaking in.”

The class all nodded and we moved on.

When it was finally over and I gathered my stuff, I checked my phone to see a text message from Percy.

Percy

Is it ok for us to go to a party at a friends?

When I got out of class, he was waiting, a cheesy grin slipped over his lips and the puppy dog look of how badly he wanted to go.

“You know you can go by yourself, right? You don’t need me there. You can live the same life you had before I was here all the time.”

This is one of the things I feel the most shitty about.

Percy and I are close; we spent every summer together and talked all the time, but he still had a life without me raining down on it.

Now I was living with them for the foreseeable future, he acted like he never could leave my side.

In the beginning, I understood I was on suicide watch, and with everything going on, granted, yeah, but now?

He gives up so much to keep me company.

“Yes, but you know we would have more fun if we went together. Much more fun than if we, oh, I don’t know, went home, ate pizza, and played a game?”

He was right.

Past eight months, that’s all we did.

And the pounds were adding on.

“If you want to go, we can. But, I don’t want to go for long, and I’m not promising I’m going to be much fun.”

He nodded and smiled.

Before, I would be the whole goddamn party, but now… things are different.

It’s hard ~having fun~ when you don’t smile or laugh.

When we walked up to the house, the party was in full swing.

The music, the people, the games, all of it looked at the tip top of ~fun~.

Percy led me through the house to the kitchen, where he fixed himself a beer from the keg and had the audacity to hand me a Capri Sun.

Even poking the damn straw through the hole and everything.

“The fuck is this, Percy? What am I, nine? I’m older than you, bitch.”

I took a drink of my juice pouch.

~Don’t judge me! Capri-Sun is delicious!~

“You know you can’t drink on your meds, Van, it says right on the bottle in big letters.”

Well, he got me there.

“Yeah, you’re right. At least put it in a cup so I don’t keep getting asked if I want a real drink.”

He nodded, cutting the tops off my drink pouches and filling me up a red Solo cup.

We moved through the house, Percy stopping to talk to people while I hid behind him, feeling far too out of my element.

Then hating myself for feeling this way since I used to be the best.

When we made our way to the beer pong table, Percy gave me a sneaky look that said he wanted to play like we used to.

I would demolish my opponents on the pong table.

“I doubt I’m any good still, Piglet.”

He scoffed and turned to give me a full look, but right as he did, I realized who was playing.

Moonpie and a girl I didn’t know, and Damon with some other girl kissing him so hard I think her teeth went behind his teeth.

Now, I am not a jealous girl.

But this?

This just made my night.

“Let’s kick their ass, Percy.”

He looked past me, a smile on his full lips.

“Okay, as long as you promise to behave.”

I snorted and moved past him.

“When have I ever behaved?” I tossed over my shoulder as he followed me over.

I smacked the ball when Damon went to bounce it, catching it before it made it off his side of the table.

“Game’s over, boys and girls, step aside.”

Damon’s dark eyes lit up at the sight of me, which lit a fire inside me.

~I have always had a bit of a thing for playing with fire.~