9.4|Aaira • Afraid|

"Mr. Mittal, your wife is suffering from a mental disorder called Schizophrenia." The lady psychiatrist told him, and her utterance said a lot about the gravity of Aaira's condition.

"What's this disorder?" It was the first time he had heard this word and he had no inkling about what exactly it meant.

"Mr. Anay, the one suffering from Schizophrenia has a very odd reality than us. Because the nerves which sends information to their brain aren't working appropriately, which means their brain receives inappropriate information. And that inappropriate information is the reason of their unrealistic realities. The common symptoms are hallucinations, delusions, disorganised speech and behaviour. And Aaira is displaying all these symptoms."

"How this disorder can be cured?"

"Maybe you don't know but some psychological disorders can't be cured, and Schizophrenia is one of them. It lasts for years or lifelong. But yes, through treatments, medications and therapies, patient's condition can be improved to some extent. Moreover, I want to ask, do you have kids?"

"No. But why?" He couldn't understand why she asked this question.

"Because, genetics can also cause Schizophrenia. Which means your future kid also has chances of acquiring Schizophrenia."

Anay could feel his heart thumping loudly, his hands were sweating, and his whole body was numb.

It was his wish to become father after the age of 35. Because he wanted to solely focus on his business. But now he regretted it. But sadly, he could do nothing to rectify this.

He regretted avoiding Aaira's pregnancy. Maybe his ignorance was the reason she developed this disorder. And maybe giving into her wishes could have avoided this disaster.

"I hope your wife will accept this. And be careful, being a Schizophrenic's spouse you are also prone to develop this disorder. Keep your mental health in check. Moreover, we need to start her weekly psychiatric sessions. Make sure she visits regularly."

"Thank you, doctor." Saying so, he left.

Preparing himself to face his wife with this newfound disaster of their life.

★★★

He entered their apartment, to find her sitting in the lounge. Waiting for him. Waiting for her reports.

"Anay, what did the doctor said?" She stood up and ended the distance between them.

He looked at her, and the way he looked, she knew something is terribly wrong.

"Let's sit and talk." He held her arm and made her sit on his lap as he seated on the couch.

"Anay, don't scare me." His actions screamed that he is getting emotional. And he rarely gets emotional.

He snaked his arms around her waist, putting his head on her chest. Her hands reached to caress his hair.

"You know, every person has a very different point of view towards reality. In your case, your whole reality is different than others. When God was making you. He focused more on giving you a beautiful heart and in all this he did a little mistake. He did a little mishap in your nervous system. And that's why your nerves send improper information to your brain, which makes your view towards reality unique."

"You mean, my reality is not your reality?"

He nodded.

"This condition is called Schizophrenia. All those times you were hallucinating. Your brain was tricking you."

"Is it serious?"

"Its not that severe in your case. But you need to visit the psychiatrist for weekly sessions. And... Can we please not start family planning until you don't recover? Doctor said it can effect our future kid as well."

She nodded. She was thinking that it was a mere mental illness, she will recover soon. Soon enough to enjoy motherhood. Soon enough to enjoy her life.

But again, she is a Schizophrenic.

A Damsel In Delusions.

He let her live in these delusions for a while, until her reality broke them.

★★★

"Good morning, sweetheart." She heard him, but ignored. She needed sleep and that's it.

"We need to visit the psychiatrist. And then we'll go for a lunch date." He knew this lunch date trick will work.

Aaira huffed and got up from the bed.

"You are so evil, Anay."

"Only for you." He smirked and pecked her lips.

Aaira smiled for a second and then headed to get showered.

While Anay busied himself in a phone call with his secretary. With a Schizophrenic wife who needed his entire attention, handling business was difficult. His company was at the peak because he was solely devoted to his work. But now it wasn't possible. Aaira was more important to him than his business. It was hard for him to accept, but he needed to accept this.

He was lost in these thoughts, when Aaira came out of shower in a bathrobe with open wet hair.

His eyes followed her every movement.

She walked to the dressing table and pulled out a hair-dryer from the drawer. He frowned, he liked her with wet hair.

"Aaira, don't dry your hair." He requested.

"Why?" She was confused at his appeal. It's not like he will loss some business deal if she dried her hair.

"I like them like this." He gave an appealing smile.

He walked to stand behind her. She was sitting on a stool by then and was looking at him through the mirror.

He tangled his fingers into her hair, feeling the wet freshness.

"I love your hair." He bent down and kissed her temple.

"More than me?" She asked, looking at him through the mirror.

"Maybe." He chuckled and continued, "Get ready and come for the breakfast. I am starving." He kissed her cheek and left.

He was unaware. Of the effect his words had. On her mind.

She looked at her hair through the mirror.

"He loves my hair more than me." Her tone was dejected one.

Her eyes fell on a scissor placed on the dressing table. She picked it up.

Her hands moved to cut her long hair to shorter length. Her lustrous strands now made her look horrible as she chopped them off in her undefined envy.

She envied her hair.

Because he loved them for than her.

Nothing could overshadow her in his life, even if it was a part of her.

Only she had the right to be loved by him.

Anay was starving, but he didn't want to eat without Aaira so he went to check upon her. What he saw was something he never imagined.

She was cutting her hair.

"Aaira!!!"

His voice stopped her hand's movement.

He walked to her and bend down on his knees to look at her. She looked horrible to say the least. He understood something again triggered her.

"Aaira, why did you cut your hair?" He tried to be as calm as possible. Because he knew being angry will do no good to the situation.

"You love my hair more than me. So I cut them." Her reason sounded absurd to his ears.

But again, her delusions were beyond reality.

"Aaira, I was joking, sweetheart. Look, what you made of yourself."

She looked at herself in the mirror and realised what exactly she did.

Her eyes brimmed with tears.

What if Anay stopped loving her?

She looked so ugly.

He will leave her.

He will hate her.

She was so horrible.

She cut her beautiful hair.

"Anay, I am sorry. Don't leave me, please. I won't do it again." She pleas panicked him.

"Aaira, calm down. I won't leave you, I promise." He cupped her cheeks and assured her.

"Promise?"

"Promise, sweetheart." He smiled, a half-hearted smile.

For a moment, he was happy to see the intense love she has for him. But then, he feared how dangerous her love can be. Her condition wasn't normal, her way to process his words was different. He needed to be careful about his choice of words. She took his words very seriously.

He pulled out his phone and dialled Dina's phone number.

"Hello, Dina. Please arrange a hair stylist for Aaira immediately."

And he cut the call.

He looked at her again, who was looking at him with tears in her eyes.

"Aaira, I love your hair because they are a part of you. Hmm?" He held her hand and kissed her palm. "I love you. Do you doubt my feelings?"

She shook her head.

"Then why you did this? Don't do it again. Or I will get angry."

She nodded obediently.

"Now let's have breakfast until the hair stylist arrives. Then we need to visit your psychiatrist as well."

He held her hand and went to the dining table with her.

He was smiling from time to time. But in his heart, he was terrified. Terrified of her way of thinking.

And the psychiatrist said this disorder is incurable.

He doubted if he could take care of her.

What if he fell out of love with her?

Or what if he lost his sanity while keeping her sane?

He was terrified to say the least.

••••••••••••

First of all, do try books of KhawarB

Especially those who are bored of those overdramatic desi stories. Her stories are of Pakistani background and her storytelling is simple and understandable.

And secondly, aspiring authors do check out my new book "The Secret To Creativity".

Bye 👋

Will meet you in the next chapter!