Chapter 9

Okay, here is chapter 9 which is dedicated to @vijayalatha :):-*

Pic on the side is of>>>>

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“You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.”

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

TEMPLAR P.O.V

There was a low chuckling sound somewhere in the background. I heard sounds of chair being trusted back.

I wanted to open my eyes and look around. I wanted to see who was seated beside me because I knew for sure that I was sleeping. Since I couldn’t open my eyes, I whimpered like a weak little kitten.

There was a sound of some plastic object falling on the ground, followed by, “Templar”

That sweet, familiar voice gave me all the ammo I needed. When my lids fluttered open, my gazes locked with the pacific blue ones of Everett that I loved so very much.

He grinned as he saw me and I repeatedly opened and closed my eyes to get adjusted to the bright light in the room. My head felt heavy and I tried sitting up.

“Everett” I called.

“Yes?” he asked holding my hand and helping me to sit.

“Where am I?” I asked as he tucked a strand of my hair behind my ears and placed a gentle kiss on my temple.

“You are in a clinic baby” he murmured. “How are you feeling?” Rett questioned as I rubbed my eyes with the heel of my palm.

“My head feels heavy. Like someone hit me with a rod” I replied, placing my palms on either side of my head. My memory was too foggy for me to remember anything. There was a low growl from Rett as soon as he heard me and I turned to face him.

I furrowed my brows as I finally looked at him. He looked tired. Like he hadn’t had rest for days. His hair was messy, his eyes were red because of the strain and he even had light stubble growing.

He was perfectly fine yesterday when he went to GreenRock, what happened now?

“What happened to you?” I asked croakily. The insides of my throat were burning and I had this major urge to scratch them with my nails. Clearing my throat, I once again focused on Rett, who was already handing me a glass of water.

“Drink” he urged, placing the glass near my lip. Still staring at him in confusion, I opened my mouth and took a sip of the water. As I felt it running down my throat, relief washed over me.

I emptied the whole glass. Rett filled it and once again I emptied the glass. It felt like I hadn’t drunk water for ages.

“Better?” Rett asked and I turned to look at him. He was staring at me with an expressionless face and as my heart thudded, I knew something was wrong. I replied with a nod and as Rett asked me, “Do you want more water?” I shook my head; however I didn’t take my eyes off his face.

I wanted to know what had happened. For one moment, I spared a glance at the room and realized that I was in an unfamiliar territory.

I inhaled deeply and frowned when I noticed that I couldn’t smell any familiar scents. I tried to climb out of the bed, when I felt a pain in my stomach. Wincing, I rested my palm on my stomach. At that very moment, I realized that I was bleeding, heavily.

A painful cry escaped from my lips and Rett immediately clutched my hand. “Tell me what’s wrong?” he enquired. “What can I do?” he asked me and I shook my head.

“My stomach’s paining” I said holding it very tightly. “Badly” I added rubbing my hand on my stomach. My breasts felt tender too but that was okay. I looked at Rett and furrowed my brows when I saw that his eyes were misty.

“Rett” I called in a whisper. He gulped and looked away.

“I will talk to doctor about this” he said and then took a deep breath. Hesitantly, I nodded and licked my lower lips. I knew I was having my periods but I didn’t know why it was this painful. Mentally, I started counting the days from the last time I had my periods.

Rett was looking at me in confusion but I ignored it and continued. I frowned when I realized I didn’t know the exact date. My frown deepened when I recalled that I didn’t have it last month at all. I ran a finger through my hair and tried to recall but it didn’t help.

“Can you get me a calendar?” I asked Rett looking around the room for one. My eyes fell on his cellphone in the table and I immediately picked it up.

The cellphone dropped from my hand as I saw the date at the top of the screen. “Is the date right?” I asked Rett in a whisper and he nodded.

My heart started beating rapidly in my chest and I felt the hair in my neck stand up. A whimper escaped from me as I took the cellphone from Rett’s hands. Nervously, I clicked on the call register to check the date that I had last spoken to him.

My worst suspicions were confirmed when I realized that my last call to him was in previous week.

Immediately memories of what he had told to me in the phone call flashed in my head. I remembered him telling me about Teresa’s death. A tear dropped from my eyes as I recalled that.  Terence deciding to I and he go to Greenrock without informing Trudy. Another tear dropped from my eyes. I remember rogues informing me about a body… Alisha’s body. One more tear dropped and then I recalled watching at the vicious smirk of a rogue.

I sucked in a breath when I realized that I didn’t recall anything about that day after that. I tried my best but all I could recollect was the vicious smirk of the rogue and nothing more.

Gripping the blanket tightly, I closed my eyes and tried to recall but I couldn’t.

Six days.

Six days has passed since Alisha and Teresa’s death.

I don’t remember anything I did in these six days. No matter how many times I tried, I couldn’t.

I raised my head to look at Rett who was staring at me without displaying any emotion in his pacific blue eyes. “What did I do?” I asked in a barely audible voice.

He didn’t reply but just stared at me. “Rett” I gasped and sniffed as more tears rolled down my cheeks. “What did I do?” I sobbed and he immediately wrapped his arms around me.

Resting my cheek against his chest, I sobbed loudly. “I d-don’t remember anything” I said holding his shirt in a tight grip. “I don’t remember.” I said shaking my head. Pulling away, I looked up and blinked when I saw that Rett had his eyes closed and a tear was rolling down his cheek.

Watching him cry, for the first time in my life, made every ounce of strength I had crumble and I broke down again.

Around half-an-hour later, I was somewhat calmed down and Rett handed me another glass of water. I gulped it down without any protest and wiped any stray tears that I had on my cheeks.

“Where are we?” I questioned handing him the glass.

“ThunderSky” he replied and I gasped.

“How…?” I trailed off. I wanted to know how we reached here.

“Shh….” Rett said soothing my hair. “We will talk about all that later. First, I want the doctor to check you” he said with a smile that quite didn’t match the dull look in his eyes.

Before I could protest against it, I heard footsteps coming towards the room. A split second later, the door to the room opened and my eyes collided with January’s grey ones. She blinked and smiled in relief.  Terence, who was behind her, too had a similar expression.

“Tem” January mumbled and rushed towards me.

“Slowly” Rett warned before she could hug me. “She is not quite alright” he said and January blinked. They both stared at each other and I knew they were talking through the link. After few seconds, January swallowed audibly and then turned to face me.

“Hey” she said sitting on the stool next to the bed.

“How are you feeling?” Terence asked me standing behind her. I didn’t reply instead just stared at them. They too had a sad expression in their faces and I knew something really bad had happened in these six days.

I was desperate to find it out. I had so many questions in my head that I didn’t really know which one to ask first.

Sighing, I decided to answer Terence, “Fine.”

“Where is Jonathan?” Rett asked and I looked at him questioningly. “He is your doctor… for now” Rett said and I nodded.

“He should have been here. I called him as soon as Templar woke up” Terence answered.

January held my hands and I realized how cold and lifeless my hands felt at that time. I smiled softly and she returned the smile but her eyes were cloudy.

The door opened that very moment and I whirled my head to look at a man in his early forties standing there. As my eyes clashed with his green-yellow ones, the man smiled merrily.

“Good morning” he chirped entering the room and I looked at him with confusion. “How are you feeling? Is there any pain?” He asked making his way towards me.

I looked at him baffled until Jan murmured, “The doctor” beside me.

“Yes. My stomach… actually my lower abdomen” I answered nervously and watched with a frown as the doctor held my wrist to check my pulse.

“It is normal but you will feel better after resting for a few hours” the doctor replied calmly dropping my wrist.

“Normal?” I asked narrowing my eyes and staring at the doctor.

“Yes. The side effects of mi-”

“Doctor” Rett cut in loudly next to me and I whirled my head to frown at him. “Is there any medicine for her to take?” he queried glaring at the doctor. I blinked surprised to see his reaction.

The doctor stared back before nodding, “There is. Come with me, I will give it you” he said and Rett agreed. He then asked January and Terence to go along with the doctor.

After they left, I turned to face Rett. “I want to know everything from the start” I said firmly. “I want to know how many people I have… ” Gulping, I added nervously, “killed. How many people I have hurt? Tell me everything as it is without any lie” I said crying softly.

I know I did something really, really terrible that had even hurt Rett.

“Nothing… nothing happened” he said cautiously.

“Then why am I in ThunderSky?” I demanded. “Why I am so far away from my pack? Why are you crying?” I asked him tenderly, placing my hands over his. “Please tell me the truth. Rett, please” I said sniffing audibly. “Please.”

“Okay” Rett said and I looked up. “But once you have fully recovered” he said and I shook my head. “I cannot… Templar, not now. My wolf wants assurance that you are okay” he said and I swallowed.

At the mention of wolf, I tried to sense mine. My eyes widened when I felt no response coming from my wolf. She was there, I could feel her, but she wasn’t responding at all. No matter how many times I tried, she wasn’t coming front. She was at the back of my mind, trying to maintain distance from everything.

“Okay” I feebly said. I wanted to know everything but judging Rett’s expression, I knew he needed some time and so I decided to wait.

At that precise moment, my stomach grumbled and Rett pulled away. “Let’s get you something to eat” he said as I stared at my fingers to hide my embarrassment.

I handed the empty plate to Rett after my breakfast was done. “I’ll be back” he said and walked out of the room to dispose it.

I wanted water to drink and so leaning forward, I picked the jug and the glass. While I was pouring the water to the glass, Dr. Jonathan entered the room, “I came to do a routine check. I always do it before going for a morn- Oh goodness! Don’t drink that water, it’s too cold and since there are chances of you catching fever or other sickness, I recommend you to drink hot water.” He said startling me.

“Hot water? Where is it?” I asked in confusion.

“Downstairs. I will get them-” he paused mid-sentence and furrowed his brows.

“Something wrong?”

“Uh… no. yes. I have to go somewhere. But let me get you the water” he said entering the room to take the jug.

“No. It’s okay… I’ll do it” I said already trying to climb out of the bed.

“You need rest” he said shaking his head in disapproval.

“I also need to walk right now. I feel like my legs are numb. You can go” I said. Dr. Jonathan seemed to hesitate but then he nodded.

With a moan, I rolled my legs of the edge of the bed and placed them on the wooden floor. After a whole minute, I was able to stand without any support. But walking was a problem because my legs were numb.

However swaying like a drunk, I managed to reach the door and then braced it for support. Standing next to the door, I took deep breaths and then continued walking. By the time, I reached the stairs I could walk like a normal person again. But still my steps were slow and careful, mostly because my body was in pain at almost all the places.

While I reached the hallway between the stairs, I stopped to let out a sigh. At that moment, I heard familiar voices talking about me.

“What did the doctor say?” I heard Myron asking and I was surprised to know he was here too. I wondered why Rett didn’t mention it to me but then realized Rett doesn’t exactly like Myron. Smiling, I slowly started descending the stairs.

“He said she will be fine but she needs rest for few days.” Rett replied sadly.

“How many days?” there was no reply from Rett for that.

“So, you guys cannot go home today?” I heard an unfamiliar female voice questioning and I furrowed my brows.  Who is that?

“No. But we can go tomorrow” January answered and once again I paused in the stairs to take a breath. Descending a few stairs was draining me out of my energy.

“I have already booked the tickets for all of us” I heard Terence say. I smiled in relief because I was happy to hear that we were going back to WaterWave tomorrow.

“I just hope she gets well soon” Myron said wishfully.

“Same here. I want to see her wolf.” The unfamiliar female voice spoke as I descended another stairs. Seriously, who was this female? Why is she so interested in my wolf?

“It’s going to take some time. Jonathan said since her wolf is weak she will not be able to shift for at least a fortnight.” Rett replied weakly.

“I can understand that” the female voice said as I took another step. Great! Only one more step left and I can see for myself who she is. “It must be really hard for her wolf after losing her pup.” At the very moment, I gasped standing at the foot of the stairs and every single head turned to face me.

Pup.

My pup. My child.

Losing? No more.

My pup is no more.

All color drained from my face as the truth crashed into my heart. My legs gave away and I fell on the floor in an ungraceful heap.

“Templar” Rett screamed rushing towards me. He held my arms and pulled me closer to his chest. I heard everyone saying something but I was too shocked to react to it. All I could think about was of the child that I had lost.

My child. My baby.

At the moment, I felt like I was dying. I felt like I had nothing to live for again. People around me were rubbing my hands and patting my cheeks, but I was only thinking about the baby.

The more I thought about the baby, the harder my head started pounding. It reached until a point where my head felt too heavy to be supported by my neck.

Just like that, I closed my eyes and let the darkness welcome me, because that is what my life is going to be from now on.

I woke up to instant consciousness of everything that happened. Whatever the doctor sedated me with was not enough to block the devastating memory.

Walking towards the window, I simply kept staring at the sky. The sun shone brightly in the clear blue sky. As the fresh air fanned my face, I winced.

I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want to see the sunlight dancing in the sky.  I didn’t want this warmth. It felt like it was mocking me.

At the moment, all I needed was darkness. I needed it to feel safe. I didn’t want any light because then all the walls I had built in my head, to compose myself, would crumble. The walls that I built brick by brick to shut out the world around me and not think about anything other than my child.

Closing the window, I drew the blinds and went and sat in my bed to stare at the white walls of the hospital room.

Placing a hand over my abdomen, I thought about the baby that had been there. But now there was nothing.  Nothing to protect.

The agony was unbearable and something I wouldn’t have wished even to my worst enemy.

But I knew I had to bear this agony.

My hands slithered to my side and once again I stared blankly.

“Templar” Rett called from the doorway as I stared out of the window.  “Templar… please look at me” he said when I didn’t even look at him.

I wanted so much darkness that I didn’t even want my vision. Because vision forced me to see. To look.

He slowly took my hand in his. The hand that always provided comfort and assurance to me was offered for me even today. However, I didn’t deserve it. I deserved loathing from him.

I jerked my hand away and tried not to show the pain I felt when he didn’t try to take it again.

“Talk to me” Everett whispered slowly when I averted my face. He stood staring at me for few minutes not saying anything.

“I cannot watch yo-” he started to say but paused and took a deep breath. “We are going back to our pack tomorrow. We’ll leave early morning.” He said and then reached out his hand.

This time, he gently touched my hair.

Then slowly, Rett stepped back and walked away. I sensed him standing in the doorway and giving me a longing look. Then he left.

Slowly, lying down on the bed, I buried my face into the pillow.

January, Terence, Myron and the new girl, his mate, visited and tried to talk to me. But none could take away the agony I felt.

Guilt was skewering my heart.

My fault.

It was my fault. I shouldn’t have lost control. I paid a very heavy price for that cruel mistake.

I paid a price that left me- disgusted at myself.

There are so many things I wish I could change... all which are fantasy of the impossible. But then I was once again forced to face the cruel reality.

I stared out at the window, the blinds of which were drawn by January. The sun was ready to take his rest. The stars were appearing. Each star illuminating as the sun light diminishes.

I waited until there was only darkness left.

And then as the sun disappeared, I felt blackness engulfing me.

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Hope you like it!

Next update will be on 28th September.

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