Chapter 9

The day to hit the beach arrived, and excitement bubbled. Kanan was the driver for the long-awaited beach day. He made it his duty to let Nathaniel take the passenger seat for a change. It had been ages since Kanan last embraced the sun-soaked shores. Childhood memories flooded back, recalling the weekends when his parents ushered them to the beach, a ritual ingrained in the younger years of his life.

The air charged with anticipation as he picked up Nathaniel and Emily; the beach-enthusiastic came well prepared. A playlist that spanned nostalgic tunes and modern hits for the day ahead, nested in the backseat was an array of beach essentials- oversized hats and colorful beach towels, sunscreen, sunglasses, and a good beach read courtesy of Emily, with a small picnic basket packed with snacks and sandwiches. In the trunk was a mini cooler brimming with refreshing drinks, beach umbrellas, and, lastly, a beach volleyball to ensure the day had a playful activity. Her meticulous planning through days of waiting-It was evidence of Emily's anticipation and excitement. She released a contagious air of joy that they couldn't escape.

As the coastal breeze beckoned, the car rolled closer to the ocean. The sound of crashing waves welcomed them. Emily was the first one out, kicking her sandals off and setting foot on the warm sand. The grains of sand beneath Kanan's feet conjured countless memories. Recalling the past, he remembered the days of crafting less-than-perfect sand castles with Kaelan. Together, they attempted to conquer the waves, only to flee when the waves crashed onto the shore. In the sand, seashells were a precious treasure waiting for discovery, sparking a friendly competition to find the perfect one between them.

"The trip seems to mean a lot to her," Kanan pointed out, watching Emily walk along the shore, her arms freely in the air. The sight, coupled with the memories from back then, sparked a longing for the familiar presence of Kaelan, annoying as he may be. The date of his visit remained undisclosed, carrying a layer of curiosity and a tiny frustration as Kanan wanted to prepare. The element of surprise was Kaelan-like.

"She hasn't had fun like this in a while," Nathaniel replied.

The first thing on the agenda was finding the perfect spot. They wandered along the shoreline, surveying for that sweet spot. With a decision made, they unfolded their beach towels. A sprouted beach umbrella cast a shadow on the sand. The cooler and picnic basket was within arm's reach. It was a beach picnic in the making. Emily donned her straw hat and quickly applied sunscreen before running off.

"When was the last time you came to the beach?" Kanan asked. He casually removed his shirt, remaining in his beach shorts. With a carefree demeanor, he applied sunscreen for the sun-drenched day ahead. "I haven't been since maybe 6th grade. My parents used to bring me and Kaelan almost every weekend."

"It hasn't been that long for me," Nathaniel replied. "Let me help you," Kanan struggled with self-application, twisting and turning his arms, frustration playing across his face. "Is Kaelan your brother?" Kanan nodded. "What is he like?" Initially, Kanan thought that sharing family memories might cause unintentional discomfort. Seeing Nathaniel probed further showed he didn't mind the family talks. Nathaniel applied a generous amount of sunscreen in his hands. As his fingers traced along Kanan's skin, a shiver danced down his spine. The gentle touch left him momentarily captivated by the simple act.

"He's clingy, annoying, and has a bad temper," Kanan told him. "But he's the most caring and loyal to those he loves. Growing up, he would always want to do everything I did."

"My brothers and I were close growing up. At one point, we grew apart- now all that remains is hate. My younger brother moved away somewhere. I haven't heard from him since." Nathaniel said. Kanan didn't expect him to talk about his brother, let alone that he had another sibling. "Can you do mine?"

Kanan returned the favor. He applied the sunscreen to Nathaniel's back. The defined contour of his back spoke volumes about his commitment to a fitness routine. The muscles beneath his skin showed a well-honed physique. "Do you exercise a lot?" Kanan felt the need to ask.

"I try to. I can tell you hit the gym too..." There was a humorous coincidence, how both minds while applying sunscreen, had the same train of thought.

"I just do some light workout at home," Kanan replied, noticing the glances of fellow beachgoers. From the moment they met, Kanan knew Nathaniel was attractive."Aren't you quite popular? If you're single, now might be your chance." Kanan said jokingly.

Nathaniel turned to look at him, thanked him, and said, "I am single, but I'm not into women," Nathaniel revealed a personal truth. The disclosure, though unforeseen, felt like a natural progression in their relationship, adding a layer of trust. "Don't go counting yourself out. They might be looking at you. You're even more attractive." His words caused a flutter in Kanan's stomach.

"I guess we do have more in common than I thought," Kanan expressed. A spark of realization illuminated Nathaniel's face as the meaning of Kanan's words clicked into place. A grin painted across his face, revealing the joy that accompanied him, something Kanan couldn't understand in the present.

"What are the odds," Nathaniel said.

"Ok. That's enough flirting," Emily said, approaching them. With a curious glance at his supposed flirting partner, Kanan thought, "Is that how we look to others?"

"Let's take a dip," Emily pointed at the ocean before them. "We can't come to the beach and not go into the water."

It wasn't a beach day if they didn't find themselves immersed in the ocean. Emily kicked off the spirited water fights where laughter and splash of salty water sent arcs across at the target. The thrill of being drenched and laughter echoed in harmony. It later took on a competitive edge as friendly swim races started, dashing towards an imaginary finish line. Emily kept them on their toes, ensuring her beach adventure didn't end on a dull note. Exhaustion settled over them. The combination of water activities, beach volleyball, and the warm sun drained them.

It was time to unwind and eat the lunch they packed. Sitting in a circle, the aroma of homemade food mingled with the salty sea breeze. The lunch, carefully prepared for moments like these, was simple yet delicious as they relived the highlights of the day. Savouring the meal, they stretched out on the beach towels, staring at the vast sky. The world seemed to slow, and a gentle breeze followed. A sense of relaxation washed over them.

"There's still one game left," Emily propped on her elbows. She seized the reins for the day, infusing the atmosphere with energy and setting the tone for the tasks she planned. Emily took a pack of cards from her beach bag, "Chit-Chat: Unleash the Fun." it read. "The main event." She explained the rules with enthusiasm. "But there's a twist- if you refuse to answer, take a dip in the ocean."

She laid the deck face down, drawing the first card. "If you're life was a movie, what genre would it be?" She pondered the answer. "Drama and Adventure,"

"Drama, without a doubt," Nathaniel answered.

"Adventure," Kanan added, something he yearned to be the driving force of his life. Kanan's demeanor shifted when he reached for the next card. In a curious twist of fate, it resonated with a part of his life. "Do you have any regrets?" His gaze lingered on the words, and silence settled over them. The atmosphere, once filled with carefree laughter, transformed. Kanan, with a reflective look, acknowledged the shift. The card felt like it personally selected him to explore a deeper layer of himself. "I regret not answering that call. I've pondered the what-ifs, but it's never changing what happened. I'll feel these emotions, accept them, and try moving past it."

"I don't know if it's guilt or regret. I just..." Emily spoke. "I wished I had done more, put up more of a fight, resisted getting pushed into a corner; the list goes on. I knew I tried my best in that situation, but sometimes emotions..." Emily held back her emotions, concealing the storm as she spoke. "There are days when it gets me down, but I'm trying to live the life they wished for me. I'm happy, and I'm going to continue being happy and do things or interact with people that fuel that happiness, and I think you should too,"

Her gaze remained fixed on Nathaniel, who remained quiet. Words carefully crafted not only for her benefit but also directed at him. As Kanan observed the situation, he wondered about the burden Emily carried. He hoped and wished, like a gentle breeze carrying good intentions, that her journey ahead would be with moments of joy to cast away the shadows that clung to her youth.

"I do," Was all Nathaniel said.

Sharing what was on his mind wasn't required; they just did it without much thought. The question merely called for a straightforward yes or no. It was common knowledge for Kanan that Nathaniel spoke few of himself, but when he did, his experiences stemmed from a place of hurt or hatred. The realization dawned that what was said resonated as a shared experience between the two. Nathaniel reached for the next card, leaving the topic behind. "Do you have a crush on someone?" Without hesitation, he rose from his seat and headed to the ocean to fulfill the penalty for not answering.

A gasp escaped Emily, and her eyes widened. She immediately started to laugh, hurrying from her seat to chase after Nathaniel. "When did that happen?" She shouted, excited at the fact.

Kanan read his action as being a yes had he no reason to take the penalty if it was a no. Nathaniel, who had casually mentioned being single, now harbored a crush-A swirl of conflicting emotions stirred within Kanan at the newly discovered information.

~~

"Are you going to leave me in the dark?" Emily asked, closing the door behind her. She was still nagging Nathaniel about what happened at the beach. "I need details." The news brought a genuine smile to Emily, exuding more joy than Nathaniel did. They had returned home, courtesy of Kanan, who dropped them off.

"I told you it's nothing," Nathaniel told her for the nth time. "I don't have any intentions of going further than this. Emily, I told you I'm not going through this again. Today only happened because of you, and with some self-control, this will all pass, and we will go back to our daily lives."

"Is that what you want?" Silence. "You're doing this because you think it's what's best but not what's the best for you. I see the way you've been acting recently. Those sparks are coming back to life. Stop torturing yourself over what they did. The more unhappy you get, the more they win. They'll never stop hating you; you can't change their minds, and we can't undo what happened. We are not like them, and she doesn't blame you. Start living, Nathan. It's hard for me too-but I'm not letting them take control anymore."

In his mind, Nathaniel understood all of this, yet his emotions-feelings of guilt and regret always took command. He yearned for the current state of things to continue, desiring a connection with Kanan that surpassed mere friendship. The warmth of their connection and the shared laughter became a meaningful part of his life. However, a lingering fear held him back. The uncertainty of reciprocation, the force of his family ruining another. It was like Emily said. It was time he discarded them as they did to him. Genuine happiness would remain a dream unless he allowed himself to break free from the hold they have on him.

"I'm sorry, and I'll try," He replied. "You're guiding me when I'm the one who should be guiding you."

"That's because I love you, and I know you would do the same for me."

"I love you too."