Chapter 12

It had been a long time since Kanan developed feelings for anyone. When he first met Nathaniel, he never imagined their relationship would evolve into something romantic. So when Nathaniel suddenly confessed his feelings, Kanan was caught off guard. Despite the shock, he felt a pang of guilt about the silence that followed. He knew he needed to take the confession seriously and consider it. Reflecting upon their relationship until now, Kanan couldn't deny the desire to get closer to him, know more about him, and maintain their friendship beyond the party. Although his feelings weren't as strong as Nathaniel's, there was something there- a spark of possibility that intrigued him. Kanan decided to take a chance to explore the potential of their connection by going on dates and allowing himself to open up to the idea of love, perhaps someday saying the words "I love you."

They ended the night on a high note after they watched a movie together. As they parted ways, Kanan packed some of the remaining cookies, the rest of it for Emily and Nathaniel. Despite Nathaniel's offer to accompany him home, Kanan initially declined, feeling that it was unnecessary. But Nathaniel insisted, wanting to extend their time together and ensure Kanan's safe return home. Unable to resist, Kanan gave in, appreciating the gesture of care and consideration. With a final exchange of goodnight wishes, Nathaniel departed in a taxi after seeing Kanan off.

Kanan couldn't shake the feeling of Kaelan having a field day with the recent turn of events. It was almost as if his brother had predicted the outcome all along. With a smile, Kanan realized he didn't have to lecture Kaelan when he arrived. As if on cue, a message from Kaelan popped up on his screen."Speak of the devil, and he shall appear."A fitting description of Kaelan's uncanny timing. "See you soon." It indicated that he would be leaving their father's house soon. Reflecting on the message, Kanan realized he should visit his father. It had been far too long since he last went. Kanan made a mental note to schedule a visit, and maybe, as his father had suggested, Nathaniel could accompany him, but that was a thought for the future.

~~

Their first date came two days after lighting the fire for their developing relationship. The spark of inspiration for their outing came from a casual phone conversation the day before. As they casually chatted about whatever came to mind, allowing the conversation to go wherever it pleased. Admits the relaxed conversation, the topic of stars emerged naturally. Nathaniel, with a burst of enthusiasm, broached the idea of stargazing, which immediately caught Kanan's attention. Upon realization, Kanan revealed that it had been written in the pages of his journal, "Life's Adventures: All or Nothing." Upon learning of Kanan's long-held desire, Nathaniel's eagerness reached new heights. They both agreed wholeheartedly to the plan. Nathaniel pledged to find the perfect spot, one that promised an uninterrupted view of the glittering night sky.

The awaited night was finally here. As they prepared for the stargazing adventure, they packed items to enhance the experience. Nathaniel packed cozy blankets to spread on the ground, providing a comfortable spot for lounging and gazing. He brought a thermos filled with hot chocolate to keep them warm, along with some simple yet satisfying treats. They embark on the drive to the chosen stargazing spot. Nathaniel had scouted a secluded area far from the city lights, ensuring the visibility of the night sky. They enjoyed the journey that led them from the hustle and bustle of the city, venturing into a peaceful embrace. With each passing mile, they drew closer to the destination.

Upon arriving, Kanan came face to face with a breathtaking sight. The vast expanse of night sky adorned with twinkling stars was beautiful. Countless stars twinkled and danced across the expanse, their radiant glow casting a soft light upon the world below. Accustomed to the glow of city lights, the sight before him was breathtaking. He felt a sense of gratitude welling inside him, grateful for the opportunity to behold the universe in all its splendor and to share that moment with Nathaniel. As he marveled at the sight, Kanan muttered, "It's beautiful,"

The realization that this moment, once a thought jotted down on paper, was before him. He had desired to witness such a sight for some time- amongst others. Nathaniel retrieved the blankets, laid them out, and they settled into it, offering Kanan a cup of hot chocolate. "What do you think?" Nathaniel asked.

"I couldn't ask for anything better," Kanan responded with a smile. "And you? Enjoying the view?"

"I'm loving this moment." Nathaniel leaned in to gently nudge Kanan with his shoulder. "Wanna make a wish upon the stars?"

The suggestions seemed almost childish, but Kanan couldn't resist the idea. After all, there was a first time for everything. "Sure," He replied with a soft chuckle.

Nathaniel grinned, setting aside his hot chocolate before clasping his hands together and closing his eyes, seeming to gather the magic in the moment. Kanan watched, a warm feeling swelling within as he smiled at Nathaniel. After a few moments, Nathaniel opened his eyes, a soft smile gracing his lips. "Your turn," He said playfully.

Kanan took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and immersed himself in the moment. He silently made his wish. When he opened his eyes, he found Nathaniel looking at him with an expression that spoke volumes. "What did you wish for?" Curiosity twinkled in Nathaniel's eyes.

"It's a secret," Kanan replied with a playful grin. "Aren't we not supposed to tell each other? According to tradition?"

Nathaniel gave up on prying further into Kanan's wish. Instead, he moved closer, seeking the comfort of Kanan's presence beside him. Beneath the stars, they found solace in each other's company. "Did you bring it?"

Kanan nodded in agreement before going to the car to retrieve his journal. As he mentioned stargazing had been on the list of desired experiences, Nathaniel's curiosity was piqued. Although Kanan felt embarrassed at the thought of revealing his innermost thoughts to Nathaniel, as Kanan believed some were silly, Kanan trusted him enough to share his journal. The contents inside didn't contain anything he considered a secret.

Handing over the journal felt like offering a piece of himself to Nathaniel. "Life's Adventures: All or Nothing," Nathaniel exclaimed excitedly upon seeing the first page. Flipping through the pages, he noticed the items Kanan had already crossed off the list. "You've completed some of these," He observed, his fingers tracing the lines. Seeking permission, Nathaniel retrieved a pen from the car before writing something down in the journal. Excited, he handed the closed book to Kanan, offering to share his wish.

Opening the page marked by Nathaniel's pen, Kanan was taken aback by his wish: "To be with Kanan forever." "Forever is a long time," He remarked, feeling a hint of uncertainty creeping in.

Nathaniel's response was earnest. "I know, but it's one of the goals I'm hoping for in our relationship. I'm hoping for a love that withstands the test of time." He explained. However, he acknowledged the unpredictability of the future. "If there comes a time when I have to let you go, I'll cry, but I'll do it." He added.

Intrigued by the depth of Nathaniel's feelings, Kanan couldn't help but wonder if he was enough or if his feelings were enough if he could be that person who would be Nathaniel's forever. "Why do you like me?" He asked, his thoughts swirling.

"I'm not saying this to pressure you," Nathaniel clarified. "We have a lifetime ahead of us, regardless of whether we are together. I'm simply hoping for a future filled with love and happiness and you. Kanan, my current desires may not align perfectly with yours," Nathaniel began, his tone gentle. "So, take it slow if you need to. I'm simply rambling about a possible path in our future." As he gestured toward the stars overhead, Nathaniel continued, "And as for why I like you...You're like a star in my life." His gaze lingered on the twinkling light above. "I was in a dark place," Nathaniel confessed. "I didn't know which way to turn, consumed by anger and feeling unworthy of happiness after everything that happened. My relationship with my family had reached its lowest point, and I felt like I was sinking. But then I met you, and suddenly, my days began to fill with new possibilities. You comforted me without asking questions. You're handsome, straightforward, confident, and honest in what you do and say. I like you so much." He concluded, his gaze fixed on Kanan, filled with emotions.

Throughout his confession, Kanan listened attentively, his heart swelling with compassion. "I don't think anyone has liked me this much before. Thank you."

"No, thank you, my star," Kanan laughed at how cringe-worthy it sounded. "That sounded better in my head." Nathaniel lowered his head, embarrassed. As they lay side by side, gazing at the twinkling stars above, their hand found each other in a nervous yet comfortable grasp. Kanan couldn't help but admire Nathaniel's boldness in expressing his love despite his nerves.

"How's Emily?" Kanan inquired, realizing he hadn't seen her in some time.

"She's..." Nathaniel hesitated, a hint of concern in his voice. "As you probably already realize, my family situation isn't the best. Emily's dad, in particular, hates me. There are days when he doesn't allow her to see me."

Kanan remembered how Emily expressed her difficulties and tried to overcome them. He wondered if her dad was the center of it all and what Nathaniel had to do with it. "Your family," Kanan debated whether to probe deeper. Instead, he offered, "I hope one day we can share our burdens. In the meantime, I was wondering when Emily would like to schedule the photo shoot. We can work out the details together."

"Thank you for doing it for her," Nathaniel expressed. "She's been looking forward to it." Kanan nodded, noticing the genuine excitement radiating from Emily. The beach trip and the upcoming photo shoot--They were more than a series of activities. They manifested a joy bottled up, waiting for the perfect moment to burst. "I'll let her know,"

~~

As they bid farewell to the enchanting night sky and peaceful ambiance of their stargazing spot, they headed to the car. Despite the lateness of the hour, neither felt the need to rush, savoring the night. As they made their way home, Kanan reached for the fruits they had brought along for the stargazing trip. He munched on the remaining fruits. Nathaniel glanced over with a playful grin, opening his mouth for a bite. Kanan fed it to Nathaniel, who gladly accepted the shared treat. As they approached their destination, the familiar sight of Kanan's apartment came into view, signaling the end of their journey.

"Is this the part where we share a meaningful kiss and part ways?" Kanan broke the silence with a playful tone.

"As much as I would love that, let's save it for future dates," Nathaniel replied with a hint of laughter.

Exiting the car, Kanan couldn't resist a final gesture of affection. He blew Nathaniel a playful kiss, which Nathaniel caught with a broad smile, pretending to tuck it into his pocket. Returning the sentiment, Nathaniel blew a kiss back to Kanan, their laughter echoing into the night.

"Good night, Nathan. I had a wonderful time." Kanan said, his voice filled with affection.

"Good night, Kanan. Sweet dreams." Nathaniel replied, his gaze lingering for a moment before they parted ways.