Helping Mama

And just like she said, Annabel has stayed in her room and has not stepped a foot outside. She spends most of her days trying to sleep and trying to sort through her emotions, or, more often than not, from the field outside she could be seen sitting at the window seat and gazing out in to the open with a sort of lost expression on her face.

"It's been five days. Five days!" Sam whailed, "That's it, I'm going in."

"Good luck trying, George and I already did." Maggie dejectedly said. Her and George tried to get Annabel out of the room, but were never successful. It was very hard for all of them to know that their mama was so close yet still out of reach, it was driving them insane.

Sam grabbed Tam by one hand, Margot by the other and marched with them out of the play room and to Annabel's room a few doors over.

"Ready, on the count of three." Sam told his sisters, they both nodded and when he counted down from three, they all screamed at the top of their lungs.

Richard, startled, dropped his pen and ran up the stairs to where his children's screams were. He was just in time to see them walk into Annabels room with big smiles on their faces.

"How are they allowed inside?" He grumbled to himself and went up to the door, only to hear the lock. He groaned and went back downstairs. She didn't even let him in, why did they get to go in? Was screaming the secret password?

"Why did you scream?" Annabel asked and went back to her previous window seat.

"How else would you let us in?" Sam asked and they walked up to her, but it was very very clear that she wasn't doing very well.

Her skin was pale and there was bags under her eyes, and since she's only eaten two meals throughout the entire five days of staying in her room, she was starting to loose weight.

"Mama you're tired?" Margot asked and tried to climb up on Annabel's lap, but Annabel wasn't paying attention to her, she was looking at a butterfly out the door.

"Hmm, isn't it too early for butterflies?" She mumbled and placed a finger on the window, and the butterfly landed on the other side. It lifted one of its legs, placed it on the spot Annabel's finger was on for a few moments, and then took off again.

"Don't climb up Mar. Mama is tired." Tam said and dragged Margot off, only then did Annabel remember that they were in her room.

"You didn't need to scream to get my attention. You could have just asked." She got up and herded them to the door. "Thank you for checking in, don't worry, I will get better." She kissed each of their heads and gently pushed them out the door and locked it behind them.

"We need a plan." Sam said, barging into George's room with his two sisters. Maggie was also there.

"Oh, did you not get in?" She teased.

"We did." Tam said, "but we need to help mama."

"You can't help someone if they aren't willing to accept it." George said from his spot on his desk. He was hunched over a piece of paper.

"What are you doing?" Margot asked.

"Nothing that concerns you."

"So you got in?" Maggie asked, she got up from her laying down position on George's bed.

"Yes, but Mama looks really tired. She has dark circles under her eyes." Sam pulled his cheeks down. "And she looks really white."

"Pale?" George corrected.

"Yes pale." Sam nodded, "and she's skinnier because she doesn't eat."

"I wish I were skinnier." Maggie huffed at her body.

"No Gigi! You look pretty!" Margot gave her older sister two slightly chubby thumbs up.

"Okay, so what's your plan?" George asked and finally turned around, he hid whatever he was working on in his pocket.

"We have to make her happy again!" Tam clapped excitedly. "Mama doesn't eat anything the cooks and Samantha make, so, Maggie, do you want to make cookies with me for mama? Maybe she'll eat it if it's from us?"

"Sure." Maggie got up and held Tams outstretched hand.

"Then Sam and I will make her lunch today." George said and Sam nodded.

"What about me?" Margot said.

"Your job is to keep mama hydrated. She doesn't drink enough water and that's not good." Maggie said.

"Okay! I get mama water." She ran out the room in determination, down the stairs, tripping down the last few, but got up and continued her running to the kitchen.

"Quickly quickly!" She said and it got the maids attention really fast.

"What is it?" Samantha worriedly asked. They thoughts something was horribly wrong.

"I need water."

They all sighed in relief and then one of them gave her a glass of water.

"Okay bye!" She ran out the kitchen, the water spilling left and right and by the time she reached Annabel's room, only a quarter of the water was left.

"Mama! Open the door please!" She shouted and knocked with her little fist.

Annabel slowly opened the door and looked down at the girl who was proudly holding up a glass of quarter filled water.

"Who's this for?"

"You!"

"Oh, thank you." Annabel took the glass out of her hand, and not wanting to upset the girl, drank it all in front of her. She didn't realize how thirsty she was until she drank that small amount. Even though she didn't want to at first.

"Good?" Margot asked

"Good." Annabel replied.

"More?" Margot asked.

"More." Annabel said.

"Okay bye!" Margot took the glass and ran back downstairs. Nearly slipping on the water all over the floor.

Her four older siblings were watching from George's doorway down the hall.

"Okay, good. She'll take what we give her." George said, and when Annabel shut the door again, they all rushed down the stairs to do their tasks.

Annabel wasn't sure what exactly was up with the children. They'd come in pairs and offer her different types of food that they had made themselves, and not wanting to turn them down and make them upset, she always ate it all. It made her happy to see that her actions made them happy. And when she realized what they were doing, she couldn't be more greatful to have them with her. They didn't push her to come out anymore and kept things at her own pace. If she was full, then they would immediately stop, and they always made the food themselves, without any help. She knew because more than half the time it tasted horrible. But she ate it any way. A few days of this and she noticed that she wasn't pale anymore and she looked healthy again and she felt immensely better. She didn't sit sulking throughout the entire day anymore, she looked forward to the children knocking on the door to give her something they cooked or a present they made. She really loved the drawing George made. She even got out of her room to play with the children in their playroom which was an improvement. Her only problem now was sleeping. She couldn't sleep properly no matter how hard she tried. She'd always end up tossing and turning trying to get her dead mother out of her head. Tried getting the thought of never having her again out of her head. She really just wanted to accept it and live on, she didn't want to be stuck in one spot forever.

"We've decided to have lunch with you today." Maggie said when Annabel opened the door when she knocked.

All the children walked into the room with their plates of food and made a large circle on the ground, inviting Annabel with them. She sat down between Margot and George, who handed her her plate.

"And papa? He knows you're not going to be eating with him?" She asked once they started eating and conversing like a semi normal family would.

"It doesn't matter." Maggie said through a mouthful of food.

"So that's where you were." Richard said from the doorway, he had his plate of food in his hands. "I was so confused when you all got up and left without telling me where. Mind if I join you?"

Although he was talking to his children, he never let his gaze wonder from Annabel, this was the first time he sees her in nearly two weeks. He walked in when she nodded and took a seat in front of her, between the twins, not able to take his eyes off of her. It felt like he was in an extremely hot desert with no water for many moons, and he's finally spotted a replenishing oasis. It felt good to see her again.

He wanted to ask her how she's been, but he didn't want to break the cheerful mood everyone was in and instead, enjoyed seeing his children laugh and her genuinely smiling.

*

After spending time with the children in the kitchen and playroom, Annabel called it a day in the early evening.

Even the staff members were happier to see Annabel out and about, baking cookies and blowing flour at the kids.

She got ready for bed and dressed in her pajama. When she sat on the bed, back pressed against the headboard, she put a pillow between her chest and knees when she pulled them up, and held on to her arms under her bent up knees. She shoved her face into the pillow and a flood of tears rolled down her cheeks.

She had an amazing day, one filled with laughter and love, yet she still couldn't peacefully fall asleep. She couldn't help but think of how pathetic she was being. How pathetic and pitiful she must look to the children and Richard. If only she could get it together and move on. But how could she? How does someone move on? Does moving on mean forgetting? Annabel didn't want to forget. Her mother meant the world to her, even more so when both her father and older brother passed away in World War Two. She wanted to move on but not forget. And didn't know how to because memories of the two of them kept suffocating her from trying to do anything else. They shoved to the front of her mind, fighting for her attention, taking up more space than what was welcome and overstaying their visit. She just couldn't get her mind to rest.

Richard went to Annabel's room when he was done helping the younger kids go to sleep. Although she seemed fine today, he was still worried about her.

"Annabel?" He softly whispered when he gently knocked on the door, he didn't want to wake the kids up.

She didn't reply, but her light was still turned on, so she was awake.

"May I come in my darling?"

He still got no reply which got him to worry even more.

"I'm coming in, alright?"

He tried the door handle and to his relief, it wasn't locked. He stepped in and felt his heart drop at seeing Annabel looking so sad sitting on her bed. She peeked up from over her knees and he saw her tear stained cheeks, and red eyes.

"W-why are you here?" She asked, feeling very embarrassed that he's seeing her cry, again.

"I came to check on you." He said walking closer to her bed.

"Well, I'm doing fine. Can you leave now? I don't want you to see me crying, looking all pathetic." She said the last part with her face back into the pillow, hugging herself tighter.

"I don't think you look pathetic. Crying doesn't make anyone pathetic. It makes us human, don't you think?" He sat down on her bed, close to her.

"Please Richard. I don't want you to see me like this." She mumbled and turned her body away from him.

"Alright." And he got up to leave.

Annabel felt bad for pushing him away when all he wanted to do was help. She wanted to call him back, but bit her tongue. Why would she do that if she just told him to go away?

Suddenly, the lights got turned off and she looked up into the darkness.

"Is this better?" He asked and made his way back to the bed.

More tears flowed down her face at Richards thoughtfulness.

"I don't think you look pathetic," he reached for her hand, "or pitiful." he traced random lines and circles on her palm.

"I don't think you look ugly or horrendous when you're crying." he moved closer to her, "you always look beautiful to me and you always will." he leaned forward and placed a kiss on her head.

"It's hard to lose a loved one, I understand, but please don't forget that I am here for you, always." He reached forward and pulled her in for a hug, wrapping his arms around her balled up body while putting the pillow she was hugging to the side. "Even if you just need me to hold you, or if you just need me to listen. I'll be there."

Annabel looked up at the silhouette of his face that was already looking down at her. She didn't know that it was possible, but she just fell in love even more.

"Thank you." Her voice was quiet but she really meant it.

Richard brought a hand up and brushed the tears away.

"Any time."

He couldn't help it, he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers and kissed her.

Annabel slightly gasped in shock but kissed him back, bringing her hands up and around his neck. Richard gently laid her down on the bed and climbed on top of her, propping his elbow up so he didn't crush her with his weight.

When they both broke the kiss for air, Richard took his shirt and pants off.

"I'm not-"

"I know." He said and laid down beside her, pulling her in close to his body. "I was getting uncomfortable wearing my day clothes for so long."

"Oh, I see."

Her cheeks were burning up at being pressed to his bear chest, but it was comfortable and warm and sturdy.

"Annabel..." he pulled her closer and she snuggled up to his chest, feeling very sleepy.

"Hmm?"

"I really- do you- what I'm saying- ugh, never mind."

"What is it?"

He didn't know if he should tell her and if this was the right time or not seeing the current circumstances. She might see it as him trying to take advantage of her weak mental state or as him confessing as pity to her.

"It's nothing. You should probably get some rest."

"You too."

"Alright."

After a while of silence Annabel spoke up.

"Richard..."

"Hmm?"

"You know, you've kissed me three times now, and I haven't even kissed you once."

"You kissed ba-"

She tilted her head up and kissed him, before quickly pulling away and blushing.

"Woah." He whispered and snuggled into her more. He really wanted to tell her how much he loved her, but he was too scared to.

To say that this was the best night the two of them had was an understatement.