chapter 22

Rita's POV

"Ashley!!!" I yelled for Ashley, looking panicked and distress as I tried to extinguish the fire, using a napkin. Wait, why am I using a napkin? I threw it away and started blowing on the fire, only it made it worse as the fire slowly became larger and I immediately pulled back as I felt the heat on my face. I looked around and found a small towel laying peacefully on the counter. This will do, I mentally said while hastily grasping it.

I placed the towel on the fire to prevent oxygen from touching the flames but, I failed miserably as the fire didn't go down. In fact, it is too big to stop with using only a small towel. "Fuck. Fuck. fuckkkkkkk. Stop spreading for fuckssake!!" I yelled at the fire as if that's gonna help. What am I doing with my life? I though internally.

"What is going on?" Ashley said, standing on the door way, wet and cold, looking fresh out of the bathroom. She glared at me with her beautiful green eyes as I mentally replied to her; 'Nothing, just me about to burn our kitchen.' I smiled sheepishly, trying to look as innocent as possible, knowing full well there's a fire growing behind me. I'm sure I looked like a devil with the flames and the smile like nothing is wrong. She gasped as she finally noticed and rushed out of the kitchen, leaving me alone.

I turned around and tried to think of other ways to stop the kitchen from burning but nothing crossed my mind. Wait, what if this is God's way of scolding me for having too much sex on the kitchen counter? To show me, I'm gonna burn in hell? I gasped as another thought came to my mind. What if it's the ghost from the underworld who was burning in the depth of hell and now is coming to my- what am I thinking about?!

I splashed some water on the fire but it didn't work since I only used a small cup. I heard Ashley's footsteps coming closer until she appeared in the door way with a bigger wet towel and placed it on the burning pan. It suddenly disappeared and I looked at Ashley, feeling so proud. 'My saviour.' I said internally and smiled at the precious woman in front of me. Although, it died down as soon as I saw her death glare.

"I only left for 15 minutes. 15 minutes Rita!! to take a long nice warm shower, until I hear yelling and I come out, wearing my clothes as fast as I could, to find that you almost burned the kitchen." I saw how she was trying to prevent herself from yelling but I knew in a matter of time, she will. Oh I know, she will.

"The fire did it, not me." I said and that pushed the button. I knew it was gonna push the button but I still said it. It's not my fault as I'm used to being a smartass.

"Don't try to be a smartass!!" She paused with fury, pointing her index finger on my face. See, I told you. "You are not getting any for two weeks!!" She yelled at me, turning around and walked away. Does she really think I believe that?

I scoffed and crossed my arms over my chest, saying "You can't even last long." I covered my lips with my hands after saying those

sure-to-regret words and bit my tongue. If there's something about ash that no one seems to know is that she may look sweet and innocent but on the inside, she has that dark side were even I'm afraid of. A side that dominates and damn that side is great in bed.

"You. did. not." She warned, turning around with a raised eyebrow that says 'i dare you to say that one more time.' and I gulped. She rushed towards me and I thought she was gonna slap me but she turned right and opened the cupboard, pulling a cup out. I got confused until I saw her pouring the sink water in the cup. Wait, that's it? She's going to splash me with a cup of water? I chuckled until I heard the next few words that any woman, well, most woman would be terrified to hear. "You spent a full 20 minutes working on that hair of yours. Let's see how much you'll love it when it's wet." She took steps forward and I took steps back.

"Ashley, you do not mess with a black woman's hair." I touched my hair frightened, slowly walking backwards. She followed my steps until my fucking butt hit the counter and that's when she smiled.

"Rita, you do not underestimate a white woman's ability to last longer in bed." She said and stressed on the last word while pouring water on the top of my head.

"Oh it's cold. It's cold. It's colddd." I jumped around and Ashley laughed. I was fucking mad at how immature she's being but her laugh always made me want to smile. She was trying to laugh at me in a devilish tone but failing horribly.

I couldn't resist her cute noises, the ones she makes whenever she laughs. It sounding like a little shy girl with her hands covering her lips as she giggled with a perfectly wide smile on her beautiful face. That's Ashley for you; innocent in a million way but a devil in disguise.

"You're gonna pay." I threatened and launched towards Ashley. She yelped, running away from me. I knew I was faster since I used to run track in high school, but I was going slow since I wanted to keep hearing her beautiful melody, escaping her lips. I wanted her to have fun. Is that being whipped?

Minutes later, I think she had enough and I ran faster, easily catching her. She tripped and fell with me following behind. We laid on the ground with me whining since my I fell hard on my side. She kept giggling and I turned my head to glare at her before sighing breathless from how pretty she looked. Stupid bitch, got me whipped.

"Oh, really? I'm a stupid bitch?" She said with amused smile and a single eyebrow raised.

"You heard that?" I asked, bewildered and she nodded before I mumbled a whispered apology. She kissed my cheek and said. "At least I got you whipped." She laughed and I frowned before laying on my back, slightly mad. I'm not whipped!!! I ain't whipped to fucking nobody.............. except Ashley I suppose. I sighed internally before giving up. I am whipped unfortunately but fallen in love is a better term.

Minutes passed, she died down after making fun of me and we fell in to a complete silence. We were in a comfortable silence, just enjoying each other's presence. I'm lucky I got to be with the woman I love and for her to love me back.

When I told my mom and my brother I was gay and dating a girl called Ashley, they didn't like it. The said it's unnatural for a female to date another female, but I refused to let go of Ashley. I refuse to leave unhappy. Ashley has a huge part in making me happy. After a while, my mom slowly got back into my life and when she met Ashley, she accepted her immediately. She said and I quote 'great ass, sweet heart. She's perfect.' What can I say, looking for a great ass runs in the family.

Although, my brother had some time to get back into my life; he had more pride than mom but eventually, he called me and said he wanted to meet her. When he meet ashley, she immediately won his trust and respect. Now here we are.

"I love you." I heard ashley's voice and I found myself one more time for her. A warm loving smile on her elegant features and eyes filled with passion. I have my heart in my throat, ready to burst out and run to ashley.

"I love you too." I replied and she took that as a sign to climb on top of me, leaning down to kiss me. Oh yeah baby!! Our lips were so fucking close to touching but we heard my phone ringing and Ashley pulled away, startled. We both groaned and she climbed off of me, sitting on the coach of the living room. I sighed and gave her a sign 'I'll be right back.'. I stood up and grabbed my phone which was on the coffee table, answering it frustratingly.

"Wrong timing, you know." I said to whomever is that vagina blocker suck fucker, annoyed but that all changed as soon as I heard something I didn't want to hear.

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Nic's POV

"And that's about it." I said with a simple raiding smile, reaching the end of my story as she stared at me, wide eyed. I spent over two hours telling her about the things that happened to me in the past 7 years and every few minutes, her face would change expressions, reflecting her own internal emotions. I saw sadness, happiness, sorrow, revelation, her feelings constantly changing in the pupil of her eyes.

Of course, I left some details that I knew if I said, would stress her out and that is the last thing I want to do right now. I didn't speak about the puckered scars on my back. I didn't tell her about my long lost friend, Ryan and about the russian gang he was involved with. It would be too overwhelming for her and I can't risk it so then her heart falls apart. I told her about Lauren though, she was surprised but supported me nonetheless.

I thought for a minute; I haven't heard anything from the stalking revenge seeking killers or seen any of them in a long time. I haven't seen any man or woman glaring at me from the distance for the past year. The last thing I heard from them was the black box and after that, nothing happened, but I'm glad they're out of my life now and their threats were gone to no vail.

Grace is feeling better at the moment while sitting on the bed with a plate of hospital food on her lap. The doctor came and gave her her medicine which made her skin slowly go back to normal and her lips had their faint red color back. She started acting more like the girl I knew from high school but a lot more mature and less cocky.

She shook her head as she processed everything I told her and then turned her head towards me with her upraised eyebrows. She seemed shocked and her head is trying to comprehend the things I said. I chuckled and she smiled when she heard me laughing. Her shocked expression never exactly changed; lifted eyebrows, mouth hung open and the shake of her head a couple times, left and right.

"Your laugh is still the same." She said, catching me off guard but I smiled politely, hiding my startling self. A few minutes passed in complete silence and I was bored out of my mind. I started counting the lines on the palm of my hand, the big ones and the small almost invisible lines.

"I'm sorry for not being with you when you're father kicked you out." I heard her say and I looked up to catch her eyes filled with remorse and sorrow. I shook my head. She doesn't need to apologise because wither she was there or not, none of it would've changed.

"It's okay. None of it would've changed anyways. I would've still left the country." I said and she sighed, looking at the plate on her lap. She looked deep in her thoughts and I was perplexed and curious to know what she was thinking about. She looked up and I saw a glint in her eyes.

"Remember when we talked about prom and how you were going to wear an entirely black suit while I wore a long black dress?" She asked with a hopeful smile, hoping I would remember. I was confused for a second and I tried to knock my brain out to think of something. You stupid piece of shit. Think. That's when I got a flashback of her laying in my arms on her soft bed and she was talking about the dress she was going to wear.

*flashback*

"Well, we're a couple so we should definitely go matching." She said as she played with the him of my shirt. Her head was buried in my neck and I shivered from every time she spoke. I nodded at her words since that what would be nice and listened to her plan.

"I got this black dress and I was thinking you should wear something black too. Whatever you want; a dress, a suit, a tux. Just look sexy." She lifted her head to catch my eyes with hers and winked before going back to her comfy position. I chuckled and kissed her forehead.

*end of flashback*

"Yeah, you bought a black dress and told me to wear anything that's black with one condition." I paused and she raised her eyebrows, curiously. "I have to look sexy." I said with a proud smile as she laughed and nodded her head, remembering the conversation as well.

"You remember!!" She said more like a statement than a question. I shrugged and chuckled.

"Yeah; you took me shopping afterwards. It was a nightmare!!!" I joked, high pitching my voice in the end and she laughed while lightly hitting my arm.

We grew a bit silenced before she said. "I'm sorry that we weren't able to go there, to prom together. You know, after what I did...." She said, feeling guilty but I smiled reassuringly.

"It's okay. I went with Rita instead, not as a date because we're just friend, best friends and we had a lot of fun. We sneaked into Mr.Carter's office and for some reason, Rita had his keys. She even knows the password of his computer which is weird but I'm not surprised and we found porn in his computer for fucksake." I chuckled and Grace's mouth hung open. I laughed even harder as I remember a folder called memes on his desktop. It was a great night.

"Well, I'm glad you had your fun." She said with a smile on her face. "But can I ask you something? More like a favor." She continued with an eager hopful look in her eyes. I nodded for her to continue. "Can we dance?" She asked and I became confused, a little taken back too.

"We never danced in prom because we haven't gone together but I would like to dance with you. I know you're with Lauren but it's only a dance. We never danced together and I was hoping we could, now that you're here." She said trying to convince me but I was still hesitated. What about her heart? "Don't worry about my health; I'm feeling better and energetic now. The doctors make me walk whenever I feel like this." She said and moved her legs a little to show me that she's capable.

After a moment of hesitation, I nodded and helped her up. She took my hand and I lead her to a spacious area, away from her bed. "We don't have music though." I told her and she replied with it's fine. She placed her arms around my neck and I wrapped mine around her waist. We started swinging slowly and I felt at peace.

"You might kill me with desire

Wind me tighter than a wire

It's something that you do to me

I run away like mercury." I heard Grace soft voice whisper singing sweet lyrics in my ear.

"And I know you think it's rough

When you're try'na patch us up

And I say honey what is love?

You just say I drink too much." She paused and she looked me in my eyes with a warm smile.

"Maybe I'm defective

Or maybe I'm dumb

I'm sorry, so sorry for what I've done

Maybe I'm bad natured

Or maybe I'm young

I'm sorry, so sorry for what I've done." She paused and hummed a little. I smiled at her.

"And I'm the t-shirt that I wear

Pick the thorns out of my hair

I broke your heart so carelessly

But made the pieces part of me

And now it hurts what we've become

'Cause you taught me how to love

It's me who taught you how to stop

And you just say I drink too much

Maybe I'm defective

Or maybe I'm dumb

I'm sorry, so sorry for what I've done

Maybe I'm bad natured

Or maybe I'm young

I'm sorry, so sorry for what I've done

I've waited for this

I'm ready for it

I've waited for this

I'm ready for it

I been waiting so long

I've waited for this

I'm ready for it

I've waited for this

I'm ready for it

I been waiting so long

Maybe I'm defective

Or maybe I'm dumb

I'm sorry, so sorry for what I've done

Maybe I'm bad natured

Or maybe I'm young

I'm sorry, so sorry for what I've done." She finished with a sigh. I pulled away from her and clapped as she bowed a little before hugging me with her arms on my waist.

"Nice song. What does it talk about?" I asked with my arms around her tiny frame.

"Facing your inner demons." She said, shrugging and looked into my eyes. "You know, the only thing that was keeping me going through my life was the thing that you told me years ago; if I wanted to make my dreams come true, the first thing I should ever do is to wake up. I've held on to that and it kept me going. So I would really like to thank you and tell you that" she paused with a smile that I couldn't read. "I still love you." She said and leaned towards me, capturing my lips with hers. My eyes were wide open and I wanted to pull away but I was frozen. What?! I didn't except this. I kinda did but I never thought she would kiss me!

I heard a gasp from the door and that gave my body a sign to move. I pulled away from Grace, shocked and completely taken off guard to find.....Jonathan standing on the door way. Jonathan?! What is he doing here? And how did he find me? Wait, what if he miss understood this and told Lauren about it? I'm the one who should tell her about this, not him!!

"This is so good." He said and chuckled devilishly. I clenched my teeth, wanting to punch him on his face and cut his fucking tongue off.

"Look, you little tw-" "how could you?" I was cut off by a sweet angelic voice that belong to the woman I truly love. Jonathan took a step to the right and that's when I saw, I saw her, standing heartbroken behind jonathan with tears sprinkling in her eyes. Lauren........

"It's not what you think." She stormed out of the room and I looked at Grace who had guilt in her eyes with tears about to fall but I smiled reassuringly. It's okay I told before running off. I chased after Lauren, leaving Grace and Jonathan behind.

I found her speed walking down the hall with her back turned towards me. Her head was down and her shoulders were shaking. My heart fell down to my stomach and I ran to catch up to her. I need to tell her what really happened. I know that she misunderstood this just like Jonathan did and I can't blame her for that; anyone who sees two people in a liplock, would definitely think something is going on between them, but I never wanted that. I never excepted Grace to kiss me and I didn't even wanted her to. Lauren, needs to understand I never initiated or kissed her back.

I called out for her a few times but instead of stopping, she walked faster. Damn her for being stubborn. Fortunately, I was able to catch up and turned her around by the arm. I faced her and open my mouth to speak, but no words were coming out. Her face..........Her beautiful face.....She looks so broken and my heart shattered with hers. I never wanted to cause her this much pain and I never wanted to see her cry. Her tears ran down her face and her eyes had fury in them. "Lauren, I-" I was cut off with a long smack. My head turned to the side with a burning sensation on my cheek. I couldn't believe this. I knew she was mad but I never thought she would slap me. Did I hurt this much that the pain is completely blinding her? Where's her trust when I needed it?

"Don't say a word." Her words sounded like venom, crawling inside of me. "You disguste me. You know exactly how it feels like to be cheated on and yet, you just cheated on ME!! How could you?" Lauren clenched her teeth and I felt a jab on my heart. I didn't cheat on her. I would never. It hurts to know she doesn't trust me but I pushed my feeling to the side. She needs to know the truth.

"Lauren, please listen to me. I would never-" Another strike, the second time today, and that's when I felt tears gathering in my eyes. It stang more this time like she placed more force in her hand. It hurts more to know that she is willing to hurt me physically for hurting her emotionally. That she would slap me to make herself feel better.

"Don't lie to me!! I can see!! and you know what I saw?! Your lips on hers. Your arms around her. After a year of being together, you just meet up with your ex and she's immediately in your arms. Isn't my attention enough? Don't you love me?" She asked with tears strolling down her face. People walked past us with strange looks on their face but we ignored them.

I wanted to say something but she wasn't done. She still had more to say. "I was on my way here, battling with guilt from what I've done." She said in a quiet almost unhearable tone with her head hung low.

What does she mean? Did she did something I don't know of? Is she hiding something from me? My thoughts were cut off when she looked up with her jaw clenched. She looked madder then before. "Now that I'm here, I just feel sorry for myself." She paused before saying. "I kissed Jonathan, a year ago." My heart fell from realization. "The day he came back and you left the house, pissed and upset. He kissed me and I kissed back. I pushed him away after that. Now that I'm thinking about this, Jonathan would have never cheated on me." That was my last straw. That was enough to throw every ounce of happiness I had out of window. I was pissed but I deeply hurt. I can't just stand here with her hurting me in every second that passes.

"SHUT UP LAUREN. Just Shut up. Goddamnit, I never cheated on you!!! I never started the kiss, I never kissed her back!! I was shocked, okay?! That's why I couldn't pull back." She shook her head at me, not believing what I said. If my heart wasn't broken before it is now, then I thought, why is she with Jonathan?

"Why are you with Jonathan?" I asked and she looked up about to say something but stopped. Her eyes had something in them, something not right; fear and hesitation.

"Becuase I still love him and I still want to be with him." She said and my tears fell. They fell hard and I held down a sob. She's lying.

"You're lying. If you loved him, you would have left me a long time ago. If you loved him, you wouldn't have stared at me with so much love every single day. If you loved him, you wouldn't kiss me on the forehead whenever you thought I was asleep and whispered I love you in the middle of the night. If you loved him, you wouldn't have made me pancakes every morning just because you know that I love them. If you loved him, you wouldn't make love to me and breathlessly say that you love me more than anyone else. If you loved him, you wouldn't love me back." I said with tears streaming down my face and so was she.

"I don't love you." She said with more and I shook my head, not believing her.

"You're just saying this to hurt me." I said because I know she loves me. You can see it in her eyes.

"The only reason I was with you is because I pitted you. I'm here with Jonathan is because I want to be with him." That was it, I ran. I slammed on Lauren's shoulder with mine. I pushed forward, never looking back. Doctors, nurses, patients looked at me strangely as I ran. I reached the parking lot and stopped. I fell on my knees breathless. I didn't know what to do? I feel lost. Heartbroken. Confused. Betrayed. I never thought that she would hide something like that. She would hurt me like that. She would never change. I thought she did but she's the same bitch from high school.

I fetched my phone from my pocket and pressed the numbers I knew to well. The only person I could trust the most. The only person I could trust to never hurt me; Rita.

She picked up after a few rings. "Wrong timing, you know." She said with a heavy sighed.

"I'm sorry but can you please come pick me up?" I asked, struggling to get my voice out. I think she noticed the pain in my voice as she immediately asked for my where abouts.

I hung up and dropped the phone on the ground. I looked up to the sky to find it grey and I thought to myself; Just what I feel........grey.