Not Until I Achieve My Goal

Cover made by: Mary Shemmer Flores.

Chapter Forty-Four

Madeline POV:

"Who's Adrian?". Brandon asked me.

I felt myself collapsing under the weight of his question.

Confessing my love was another thing but telling him about my past where I was weak, fragile and dying is something that I wasn't ready to share with him yet. I don't want him to find out that the strong ambitious girl he fell in love was broken.

Keeping my face straight and voice firm I asked him "Were you eavesdropping on us, Brandon?".

His eyebrows scrunched then he shook his head.

"I thought Sebastian was gone and came out to see you and heard you guys talking about some Adrian. So who's he?". Brandon asked.

I didn't want him to feed a lie again but the truth wasn't ready to come out from my mouth.

"Adrian is mine and Sebastian's mutual friend". I said with the straight face.

Brandon didn't look convinced one bit and when he glanced at me with his scrutinizing gaze I was ready to spill the truth.

"Brandon I ....". I was about to tell him the truth but his phone decided to rang at the exact moment.

He let his cellphone rang and waiting for me to complete my sentence.

"It might be your mom. You should take the call first". I said.

He nodded his head and picked up his cellphone.

When he started talking to his mom I decided to go to kitchen to cook something for us.

Looking at the ingredients I decided to prepare sandwiches and coffee.

I was pouring coffee in the cup when Brandon entered in the kitchen.

He came to me and placed his both hands on my waist then kissed me on the cheek.

I shut my eyes to stop the tears from falling. I want to tell him about Bryan and past six years that I had spent without him. But one that stops me from telling him is the fear of his reaction after hearing the truth.

When he pulled away I said "So it was your mom on the call".

"Yes. Mom wants me to come back home". He said taking a cup of coffee from my hands and sitting on the stool near kitchen counter.

"Oh, so when are you planning on going back to Boston?". I asked placing a plate of sandwiches in front of him.

Before I could move Brandon pulled me on his lap.

"Not until I achieve my goal". He said staring in my eyes.

His beautiful blue eyes were full of promises.

"What goal?". I asked breathless.

"Your heart". He said capturing my lips in a sweet kiss.

When he pulled away I was dazed.

With the blush gracing my face I got up from his lap and planted myself on the stool beside him.

"So what were you saying when my cellphone interrupted you?". Brandon asked taking a bite of sandwich.

"Nothing". I mumbled not wanting to tell him now.

"Tell me". He asked me.

I felt like the call from his mother was a sign to tell me that it's not a right time to tell him anything. I created a lie which will be more believable.

"I....I think you don't trust me when I say there's nothing between me and Sebastian or any other man". I said.

He turned my stool towards him and cradled my face.

"I trust you Madeline. It was just jealousy and possessiveness. I have lost you once because of my stupidity and I don't want to lose you again". Brandon said.

Do I still have to keep lying about Bryan?

Shouldn't I tell him about his son before he finds out on his own.

Forgetting the sandwich I was eating I took the sip of coffee from my cup to moist my throat that was suddenly dry.

I glanced back at him and found him staring at me with smirk on his handsome face.

Stupid man thinks I'm flustered because of his good looks.

Before I could open my mouth he said "Do you want to go out with me?".

Dammit! I was going to tell him about his son and he thought it was a great time to ask me out.

"You know I can't be seen with you. The Media will portray me as some two timing bitch for going out with you when my engagement recently break off ". I said.

His jaw clenched at my words and I wanted to smash my head on the kitchen counter for telling him that.

He just asked me out and I had to remind him that I was someone else fiancee a day ago.

"I'm sorry. I should have thought before speaking". Brandon mumbled and my heart broke.

"Brandon, I'm sorry. I would love to go with you anywhere we just can't be seen and have to be very careful". I said making him smile.

"There is this place near the beach that's secluded and nice spot to relax but we will need to drive for two hours to get there". He said.

"Okay, fine". I said.

"We might need to spend a night there". He said making me turn to him with raise eyebrows.

"Spend a night? ". I asked him again.

"Yeah, I own a cabin there". He said.

I nodded my head. But I didn't know if I was ready to spend a night with him.

What if those nightmares came back again. He'll question me and I won't be able to lie again. I hate going back in those memories of my past.

"Are you asking me Brandon or ordering me that we have to spend a night there?". I asked him.

"I'm telling you that we will spend a night there". He answered.

"And if I say no?". I said getting up from the stool and washing the cup.

"I have my ways to make you say yes". He said getting up from the stool making his way towards me.

"Confident much". I said making him nod his head.

"Very confident. Now do you want to know how I will make you say yes or you're going to change and pack your things". He said pulling me closer to him and running his nose on my neck.

His small action was enough to make me go weak.

"I'm going with you but it's not because of you". I said taking a step back from him before I would do something and we will never leave this house.

"Yeah, whatever makes you sleep at night". Brandon said.

I rolled my eyes and went to change into something that would look good for beach.

After half an hour Brandon and I was sitting inside my car. Brandon was wearing the same set clothes he came in earlier at my house while I was changed in my jean shorts and midnight blue color tank top.

My face was bare of any amount of make-up and my hair were tied in a ponytail on my head.

Brandon glanced at me again then his eyes went to my legs and lingered there longer than necessary. I had to cough to make him realize that we need to drive to go to beach.

He had a courtesy to blush. Then he started the car and we were on our way to beach.

Internally, I was glad that I have the same effect on him that he have on me.

The music keep playing in my car while Brandon drive. I felt happy and relax after a long time.

It took us one hour and forty-five minutes to reach to the beach. So it was around four thirty in the evening when reached on the beach.

Brandon parked the car then he clasped my hand in his and dragged me with him.

The beach looked beautiful. The clear water and sand under my feet felt amazing.

Brandon keep reminding me about our memories.

"Do you remember that day on beach when my mom forced you to wear that pink swimsuit?". Brandon said making me groan.

"Yeah, I remember. That was the most cruel thing your mom have ever done". I said making him laugh.

"I remember when you came out from the washroom wearing that pink swimsuit your face was as pink as that swimsuit". He said with the teasing smile.

Stopping in mid steps I turned to him and punched him on the shoulder.

"I too remember the slipped short moment". I said with smirk.

He blushed instantly and groaned.

"Don't tell me that you remember the most embarrassing moment of my childhood". He said blushing like a tomato.

"Oh I remember perfectly how your shorts slipped inside the water when you were trying to swim. And the most hilarious thing was that you didn't even realized your shorts were missing until you came out in your super man underwear". I said laughing.

"Oh c'mon I was only eight". He said.

"That's what I am saying you were eight not three. You should have been careful". I said and starting running away from him laughing like a loon recalling his embarrass face with dripping red underwear.

"Saying the one who wore pink swimsuit". He yelled.

"Wearing a pink swimsuit isn't a crime Brandy". I teased him using the name Elena uses when he wanted to annoy Brandon.

"You just did not call me Brandy". He yelled and I ran faster laughing hard.

Before he could get me I jumped in the water and started to swim away.

"If you think this stunt will safe you then you are wrong". He said and started stripping in front of my eyes until he was only in his boxers.

Did I avert my eyes?

Hell no.

Did I move an inch?

Hell no.

Was I drooling at the sight of Brandon's perfect abs and chiseled chest?

Hell yes.

He jumped inside the water splashing water on my face making me cringe at the salty taste in my mouth.

"Done checking me out? ". Brandon asked.

Did I say no?

Because honestly I was not done checking him out.

"I was not cheeking you out. I was looking at a cabin behind you. It looks quite beautiful". I lied.

His face turned sulky. He believed on my stupid lie.

"Don't be sad. Next time you'll strip in front of me I'll make sure to check you out". I said with wink and started swimming.

Brandon swam beside me.

"So you want me to strip again for you. I might do that in our bedroom". He said.

I glared at him as my face turned red and he laughed swimming ahead and splashing lots of water on me on his way.

Stupid, infuriating, sexy man.

We swam around for sometime then came out and decided to watch the sunset while our clothes dries.

Brandon was still in his boxers and my clothes were still sticking on my body.

"It's beautiful". I said looking at the drowning sun.

"Yes it is". He said staring at sun.

"I used to watch the sun going down when you left. It helps me to remind that it will come back tomorrow. This gave me the hope that someday you'll come back in life just like sun do". Brandon said.

I felt my eyes getting misty at his words.

"I'm back in your life, Brandon". I said wrapping my hand around his arm and placing my head on his shoulder.

I felt his lips on my forehead and I closed my eyes.

"Yes, you are back". He mumbled staring at the sky.

I glanced at him and saw a smile playing on his beautiful lips. He looked so perfect under the hue of pink and blue sky. His eyes were closed and head tilt back.

I wanted to just pushed him on his back and shower his face with kisses.

He just looks so cute!

"I don't mind if you push me on my back and shower my face with kisses but cute? I'm handsome, sexy not cute". He said with the straight face like he just did not read my mind.

"Brandon you.. you?". I was trying to say something but I was too shock to form a single sentence.

He stood up laughing and picked up his clothes then started running towards the cabin.

"You assh*le! You're a mind reader and you didn't tell me ". I yelled getting up from the sand and running behind him.

He just laughed harder and entered in the cabin. I followed him inside the cabin and astonished by the modern style of the structure.

"You can use the washroom in the bedroom and get changed there". Brandon said.

I noticed the cabin has only one bedroom.

Without saying anything I went to the room and stripped off then hoped in the shower. After taking a nice warm shower I came out from the washroom with towel wrapped around my body and unzipped my bag. I was searching for my moisturizer when the bedroom door opened and Brandon stepped inside.

My head snapped at his way and his eyes widened when they landed on my semi-naked body.

I cleared my throat to get his attention.

"I thought you were done". He said rubbing his neck awkwardly and looking at wall.

"I'm done just need to change. You can take shower now". I said making him no dumbly.

He walked to the closet dazed and pulled out his Grey sweatpants and blue shirt then made his way to washroom.

I sighed when he closed the door of washroom.

After applying my moisturizer I changed into my white cotton shorts and baby blue off shoulder top.

I decided to comb my hair to make them look presentable. I walked to the vanity table and picked up the hair brush and started combing my hair. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw how blonde hair has reached till my back again and I started to resemble like old me.

From the day that man thought I was pretty enough to become his whore I hated my looks, hair even my face.

I wanted to change myself from head to toe. When I was discharged from the hospital I cut my own hair short that day and my family was horrified by my explanation of cutting them. I asked my cousin to get brown hair dye instead of bringing a hair dye she told everything to my mom.

My parents came to confront me and I blew up, shouting, yelling and begging them to let me change myself. That day they realized I need help to get passed this fear of being pretty enough to attract the lechers.

All those time they knew I was pregnant but they were scared to tell me when my mental health wasn't even right. They thought I would might harm my own baby and now that I think of those time if Sebastian wouldn't have forced me to go to my therapist I would have not only harmed my own baby but myself too.

I shuddered thinking about those memories when I was so unhappy and tired of myself. I used to think there is nothing left in the world to live. My routine was boring, having breakfast every morning that I just wanted to throw up all the time but my mom forces me to keep eating.

Then I would spend my day laying on my bed recalling the good memories I spend with Brandon and his family. I would miss Brandon's mom warm hugs and Elena's sloppy kisses. Mostly I would miss Brandon embrace and then I will cry until I fell asleep.

Finally, my parents had enough of me and told Sebastian how I was ruining my life. He came to my house and barged in my room like he owns the place when I was crying and told me to get hell out of my room.

I was stunned and I didn't want to move but the anger in his made me follow him wherever he was taking me.

He took me this therapist who was assigned to me after my discharge from hospital and whom I refused to meet.

My therapist Mel was a good friendly forty years old lady. She understood me and encouraged to me towards the better life. And when I started getting better I realized that something wasn't right. I wasn't really eating much but my stomach was getting bigger and I started to feel something heavy inside my stomach.

I told that to my mom she broke down and told me that I was around three months pregnant. My world collapsed after her revelation and my hand went to my stomach.

I realized what that moment what stupidity Brandon and I had done that night by not using any protection.

When I asked my mom why she didn't tell me sooner she cried some more and told me that she thought I would harm myself. My uncle and aunt knew from the day I fainted in the resort but they didn't ask me anything thinking that I might runaway from them.

But I didn't know anything until my mom told me. At first my parents thought that I was pregnant because someone forced himself on me while I was kidnapped. But my uncle informed them that I was pregnant before getting kidnap. When they asked me about it I lied to them it was a one night stand with some boy who I don't know.

They didn't look convinced at first but then they believed me.

When I went to my first ultrasound and saw my baby I lost all the sensibilities. I cried so much for being a stupid girl and getting pregnant when I didn't have a stable job and good mental health.

My doctor suggested an abortion but I refused. I could never live with myself if I followed his suggestion and abort a baby who doesn't have anything to do with my horrible life.

And most importantly it was Brandon's and mine baby. The boy who I loved more than me, my best friend and my companion. The guy who was always there when I needed him.

So I decided to inform Brandon about a baby but I learned that he has left Boston and moved California. That's when I contacted him through email and received a reply that left me broken.

I will reread Brandon's email and cry. I have made the decision to keep the baby no matter what.

When I would feel down I will just talk to my son. Months passed and I again emailed Brandon but the reply I received was pictures of his and Laura on bed sleeping with nothing but a thin sheet to cover them.

I hated everything from that day. I hated myself and wanted to end my life. I told my doctor and therapist what I was feeling and they recommend me medicines but those medicines could affect the mental health of my baby. If I took those medicines there was a no chance that Bryan would have born normal.

So without telling my doctor's and my parents I decided not to take the medicines. My parents and my doctor didn't find out until one night I called my mom in my room and asked her to tie my hands with rope.

She was horrified after hearing my request and I told her that I might harm myself with something to stop the pain. She cried so much when I begged her to tie my hands but she did.

After that she left me in my room. Next day when my doctor came and told me that I should care for myself first rather than an unborn child I become furious and told him to never come back to check me again.

There was days when I was perfectly fine and I would go to shopping for my son with my mother. My parents were supportive to me, they loved me and they love the piece of me as in my son that was growing inside me.

They helped me to decorate the nursery for him. My dad would to bring clothes and toys from his trip to other countries.

At nights, I will cry and in morning I'll try to forget everything and move on with my life. That was the constant battle of my life but in the end I won and brought Bryan in this world.

He was born healthy and that was the happiest moment of my life. Bryan looked exactly like Brandon. He has same set of blue eyes and plump lips.

I fell in love with him and as well as others in my family.

Everyone was happy but then the night came and a horrible scream from ne ruined everyone's night including my baby's night.

When my father woke me up my son was crying hysterically while my mother was cradling him and cooing him. The tears were sleeping from my son's face but I didn't have energy to move and provide him a comfort.

My mother took my son in her room while my dad stayed with me all night beside me holding my hand.

From that day they become more of his parents then me and I realized it would be a lot better if my son grew up with them rather than an unstable mom.

I started taking my medicines and my mental health started to turn normal but those dreams didn't stopped coming.

But I didn't let those dreams pulled me back. I enrolled myself in the NYU and continued my studies. My life started to become somewhat normal but then my Bryan started speaking.

He called me his mum and I told him I'm his sister not mum. I taught him to call my dad pa and my mom ma.

My parents told me that it wasn't right thing to do but I convinced them by telling how it would be better for my son to have a perfect family than a single mom.

But I failed in acting as Bryan sister and did many things for him which a mother would do.

Brandon POV:

I came out from the washroom dressed in my sweatpants and t-shirt and found Madeline staring at the mirror silently.

She looked lost in her thoughts so I moved closer to her and called her name but she didn't reacted on hearing my voice.

I frowned and moved closer to her then placed a kiss on her bare shoulder. She jumped and looked at me with wide scared eyes.

"Are you alright?". I asked her.

She nodded her eyes and closed her eyes.

To me she didn't look fine. There was a sadness and pain on her face.

I decided to distract her from whatever she was thinking that left her sad.

"Let's go to the kitchen and find something to eat". I said dragging her out.

She looked around at the kitchen in astonishment and said "Wow! It's beautiful".

"Thanks. This cabin was actually my dad's and he bought it when I wasn't even Born. My Mom and Dad used to bought us here on vacations. I loved this place and my dad knew that so he gave me this cabin on my 20th birthday after renovation". Brandon said making me smile.

She smiled at me and said "Your parents love you".

I opened the refrigerator and peeked inside in search of something to eat. I found some tomato ketchup, cream cheese and a bar of cheddar cheese and an unopened box of frozen chicken cheese balls.

I checked the expiry date and placed it on the kitchen counter then pulled out rest of the things.

"They love me and there is no doubt about it in my mind". I said then started searching kitchen cabinets.

There was coffee, powder form milk, popcorns, sugar, salt, black pepper and pasta.

"Do you want to try some pasta with chicken cheese balls?". I asked her.

"Are you cooking for us, Brandon?". She asked me with raised eyebrows.

"Yes, I am cooking for us". I said with the glare.

"Okay. Just tell me I won't die after eating whatever you'll cook". She said in a teasing tone.

"I assure you that you'll not die after eating whatever I cook. But you might fell in love with me after tasting my cooking". I replied.

She laughed and said "I fell in love with you even before I knew what love meant".

Her words pained me and made me think how she silently endured the torture when I was with Laura in front of her eyes.

My eyes become misty when I recalled the memory of her sad face when Laura kisses me in front of her. I thought it was because she thinks I'll stop being her friend.

Once I asked Laura not to kiss me in front of Madeline and told her that I have seen sadness on Madeline face whenever we kiss. Laura laughed and told me it's because Madeline doesn't have a boyfriend to kiss her that's why she feels sad while looking at us.

I regret hearing Laura and believing her absurd notion.

Before I would go deep in my thoughts I decided to strike a conversation with her while working on the pasta.

"What about your parents? How is your relationship with them?". I asked her. "They seemed like nice people". I added.

She smiled and said "They are way too nice to be my parents".

I frowned at her words but didn't comment.

"When I was little they were not only my parents but also my friends, especially my dad. He was funny and wasn't strict while my mom was the mature and strict one. After being fourteen years apart when I met them again I felt like they were strangers. I didn't expected right away that tried to find me. I thought that they didn't want me and gave me willingly to Emma but after the conversation with them I found the truth. They are still same loving and caring parents but I am not the same little girl anymore. I'm close to them but there is still a big chunk of my life they don't know anything about". She said with the sad smile.

"You were always a mystery Madeline and you are still a mystery". I said filling the pan with water to boil the pasta.

"I guess I am". She said making her way inside the kitchen and started helping me.

I didn't say anything to stop her. We move around the kitchen to prepare dinner like it's our routine thing.

When the dinner was done we set the table.

"We have water and juice what would like to drink?". I asked her and she just shrugged her shoulder in response.

She never liked plain water so I just took out the box of juice and poured it in two glasses setting them on the table.

She took the first bite and moaned. I smiled looking at her.

Her eyes caught me smiling and she straightened.

"So how do you find my cooking?". I said sitting on the chair across her.

"It's okay". She said taking another bite.

"Yeah, right". I shook my head.

We ate silently enjoying the peacefulness of around us.

Then we washed the dishes and clean up the kitchen.

"Do you want to watch movie?". I asked her.

"Okay. Let's watch movie". She answered.

We went in the lounge and decided to watch "Me before you". After putting the CD we sat on the couch and Madeline snuggled up with me.

After watching the climax of the movie Madeline was crying.

"How can his parents allow him to die? The girl loved him and he should have given another chance to life. I believe miracles happen, Brandon". Madeline was angry at the main character's death.

The tears were rolling down from her face.

I pulled her on my lap and wiped her tears.

"Madeline it was just a movie. Stop crying". I said.

She hugged me and mumbled "Yes, it was only a movie".

But for few more minutes tears kept dropping on my neck as she was still hugging me. Her arms were around my neck and her head was resting on my shoulder. I was rubbing her back to calm her down.

When thirty minutes passed and she didn't move I realized that she fell asleep on my lap.

I picked her up and walked to the bedroom. I laid her on the bed and slipped beside her.

My eyes were staring at her beautiful innocent face until I fell asleep.

I heard the noise of crying and woke up and turned my head to see Madeline crying on my chest.

"Hey, what's the matter love?". I asked.

"Brandon I have something that's yours". She mumbled.

_______________________________________

Hello lovelies,

I'm really, really sorry for not updating sooner. I hope you guys forgive me.

Next update is definitely sooner than this. (I promise 😀)

I hope you've enjoyed reading this chapter and leave your vote.

And your comments are really important to show me that you all have forgiven me for the late update.

🐇.....🐇

Thank you so much everyone! Thank you for your support, love and enjoying the story. It really, really, really means a lot to me. I love you all. I hope I am able to show my love through this message.

Thanks again!😘😘

Published Date: 30-06-2017

S.Sonysa_Ivan❤