Chapter 17: Aren't I worth the happiness.

My face heated up a thousand degrees as I saw him casually leaning against the doorframe.

I thought he left already.

"How long have you been standing there?!" I asked, trying (and failing) to cover my embarrassment with a glare. "Don't you know it's bad manners to eavesdrop on people's personal conversations?"

"Don't you know how to lower your  voice while on a call?" he fired back, completely unbothered.

"I didn't know i was that loud." I tried to defend myself still glaring at him

"And how is that my fault"  His lips twitched into a smirk, eyes gleaming with mischief.

"You could have left to give me privacy," I huffed, crossing my arms.

"But I didn't," he said, leaning in slightly.

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggghhhh

This. Man. Is. Impossible.

Ground just swallow me. i can't believe he heard everything EVERYTHING.

The realization that he heard everything hit me like a truck. I needed to leave before I died of secondhand embarrassment. But as I tried to slip past him, he grabbed my wrist.

"Wait. We need to talk."

His touch sent an odd, unfamiliar sensation through me, and I instinctively jerked my hand away.

"Huh... me?" I asked dumbly.

"No, I was talking to the air," he deadpanned. "Yes, you, Mira."

what does he want to talk about, does he want to talk about what he heard or our weeding night, I don't want to sleep with him........................... not yet.

what are you saying

"We need to talk about this marriage."

What about the marriage

"We are already on it there's nothing we can do" I said trying not to sound nervous about it.

"Look I don't know why my parent were so hellbent on me marrying you but now it done and there is nothing i can do to change that even of I badly wanted to."

A sharp pang of guilt twisted in my chest. I know why. And the fact that my situation messed up his life... it made me feel uneasy.

I know the reason and I feel bad for someone else's life being affect just to save mine. But he's making me feel .........guilty

"My deepest condolences," I said with a tight-lipped smile. "Trust me, I'm not exactly thrilled either."

"Glad we're on the same page,"

"But here's the deal—if you ever feel suffocated here and you feel you can't take it anymore just let me know. The easier, the better, we would file for a divorce and we'll just tell our parent it didn't work out."

I was about to say something but he cut me off

"But until then," his voice sharpened, "NOBODY can know about this marriage. I have a reputation to maintain. I'm not about to explain why I suddenly have a wife, and I sure as hell won't be acting all lovey-dovey in public." He said talking as if he's talking to one of his employee.

" I very much get it you don't have to wor-"

"One more thing don't meddle with my business, what I eat, what I do, when I arrive, is non of your business. I don't need another mom. " He said in a calm voice this time

"As I was saying before you don't have to worry as long as you don't try to control my life." I walked away from him feeling annoyed

||||||{||||||{||||

I stare at my dry face in the mirror. I should probably be crying but no tears is willing to come down. I feel worthless right now but when do I not. I thought it'll stop seriously I thought I would stop feeling like this. I stare at my hollow brown orbs filled with nothing but sadness my chest hurt and i badly want to cry but it like I ran out of tears a long time ago

Very long time ago

》》》》》》》》》》》》

"Aunt, aunt please stop it hurting me." I cried and cried but she only pulled harder, hatred filled her eyes.

"Shut up!" she snapped. "You always find ways to make me angry, don't you?"

"Mum please it was a mistake" i said crying, trying to ease her hold from dragging my skull out.

"I SAID SHUT IT" I felt my head hit the island in the kitchen I felt my eye role inside my head as I scream at the effect

"Who are you calling mum-"

-a slap landed on my face my hair still being pulled I can feel the redness of my face as I cried and scream for help.-

"You dumbo how many times did I tell you not to call me that, you want me to die like the rest of you mother right, you witch!!" My head got hit on the wall again which was accompanied by continuous slaps

She leaves my hair and push me. my head hit ground for a moment I stopped breathing at that moment the only thing I heard was

Piiìiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

my head was hurting and my tears intensify

She left me on the floor there not bothering if i died or not. my headache only grew more as my tears didn't stop.

Mum please come back i don't want to live any more take me with you.

《《《《《《《《《《《《《

But you know what hurt more than physical pain not being able to cry my chest hurt i want to cry I want to scream but .............nothing

Am I not worth it

My happiness doesn't ever seen to last long

Aren't I worth the happiness.

I swiped my hair aside, just enough to reveal the faint scar on the top left of my forehead. It had faded over time, barely noticeable unless you knew exactly where to look. But I knew it was there.

I sighed loudly and I moved out of the bathroom changed from my towel to something comfortable to sleep in

I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling Tomorrow is a new day and I will make the best of it. I refuse to feel like that girl again I did not leave one hellhole to come to another, I will not let that asshole ruin what I've planned.

And I plan to make the best of it and find happiness in myself.

ಠ_ರೃ

Do you ever just sit there and wonder why life is so hard?? Like, did I sign up for this? Did I tick some invisible checkbox at birth that said "Yes, please make my life unnecessarily complicated?" BECAUSE I SWEAR I DIDN'T.

One minute, you're just chilling, thinking everything is fine, and the next—BAM. Responsibilities. Expectations. Random struggles you didn't even see coming. Why?? 😩

And don't even get me started on motivation. That thing comes and goes like WiFi in a thunderstorm. I want to write. I need to write. But my brain is like, "Nah, let's stare at the ceiling instead." And somehow, time moves at x5 speed.

Then there's sleep. Sleep and I are in a toxic relationship. Either I'm getting too much of it or not enough, there is NO in-between. And the worst part? I'm still tired regardless. Explain that, science.

Anyway, enough of my suffering. Just know that if life is punching you in the face too, you're not alone. We're in this together. 😭💀

Drop a comment, vote, and send me some virtual support before I spontaneously combust. 😭🔥

~Your exhausted author 😩✌🏽