Chapter 32

Jes didn't remember falling asleep, but he must have at some point, because the next thing he knew, sunlight was creeping through the curtains, casting a soft golden glow over the room.

His neck hurt. His arm was numb.

And his hand—his hand was still resting against Ngern's forehead.

Jes tensed, suddenly aware of how close they were. His eyes flickered downward.

Ngern was already awake, staring right at him.

Jes jerked back so fast he nearly fell off the bed. "You—" His voice cracked. "Why are you awake?"

Ngern's lips twitched. "You were touching me."

Jes scowled, ears burning. "I was checking your fever, idiot."

Ngern hummed lazily, clearly amused despite looking a little pale. "Hmm. You've been checking for a while, then."

Jes wanted to launch himself out the window.

He stood up abruptly, brushing imaginary dust off his pants. "Whatever. You should eat something. Do you feel dizzy?"

Ngern blinked up at him, gaze softening just a little.

"Not really," he admitted. "Just... a little sore. But I slept well."

Jes knew why. Because he had stayed the whole night making sure Ngern was comfortable, adjusting his pillows, keeping his fever in check.

And Ngern knew it too.

Jes looked away. "Good. Then I'll make breakfast."

He turned to leave, but before he could step out, Ngern's fingers caught his wrist.

Jes froze.

"Thanks," Ngern murmured, voice lower now, quieter. "For last night."

Jes didn't turn around, but he squeezed Ngern's hand back—just once—before pulling away.

"...Just eat something," he muttered, walking out before his face could betray him.

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Jes had just set down a bowl of congee on the bedside table when Ngern shifted, stretching slightly before wincing.

"I should shower," Ngern muttered, rubbing his temple. "I feel gross."

Jes eyed him. "You think you can handle that alone?"

Ngern gave him a flat look. "I can shower by myself."

Jes raised an eyebrow but said nothing as Ngern swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood up—only for his balance to tip dangerously to the side. Jes lunged forward instinctively, hands grabbing onto Ngern's waist just in time.

"Told you." Jes sighed. "Idiot."

Ngern groaned, pressing his lips together in frustration. "Fine. Maybe I need a little help."

Jes exhaled sharply, like he was bracing himself. "Come on," he muttered, guiding Ngern toward the bathroom.

Inside, Ngern leaned against the sink as Jes turned the shower on, testing the water temperature.

Jes cleared his throat, avoiding Ngern's gaze. "You want me to—uh—help with your shirt?"

Ngern smirked, even as his face looked exhausted. "Jes. Are you offering to undress me?"

Jes scowled but stepped forward, carefully working the fabric over Ngern's sore shoulders. He tried not to think about how warm Ngern's skin was beneath his fingers.

Once the shirt was off, Jes glanced at him. "You good?"

Ngern nodded, but there was something unreadable in his gaze.

"Jes."

Jes swallowed, forcing himself to meet his eyes. "What?"

Ngern didn't say anything at first. Just looked at him.

And before Jes could overthink it, before he could convince himself that this was stupid, dangerous, reckless—he moved.

Leaning in.

Letting himself close the distance.

And then, he kissed him.

It wasn't planned. It wasn't careful. It was instinct—raw and real.

Ngern sucked in a sharp breath against Jes's lips, shocked at first. But then he was kissing back, pressing closer despite the soreness in his body.

Jes pulled away after a moment, breath shaky, heart pounding so loudly in his ears he could barely hear anything else.

Ngern stared at him, lips slightly parted, blinking like he couldn't believe what had just happened.

Jes cursed under his breath and turned away.

"Just—shower," he muttered, ears burning as he all but bolted out of the bathroom.

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Jes stood outside the bathroom, pressing a hand to his face, trying to calm his racing heart. What the hell had he just done?

He had kissed Ngern. He had kissed Ngern.

And the worst part? He had liked it. Too much.

Jes exhaled sharply, pacing back and forth in Ngern's bedroom. His ears still burned from the memory of Ngern's lips against his, the way he had responded—hesitant at first, then firm, as if he had wanted it just as much.

The sound of water running in the bathroom filled the silence, but Jes could barely focus. His mind was spinning.

What was he supposed to do now?

He could pretend it didn't happen. Maybe Ngern wouldn't bring it up. Maybe they could just move on—except Jes knew himself.

He wasn't the type to forget things like this.

Especially when his lips were still tingling from it.

Jes ran a frustrated hand through his hair and sat down on the edge of the bed, rubbing his temples. Ngern had just gotten hurt. That was the focus. Looking after him. Not... this.

Before he could spiral further, the bathroom door creaked open.

Jes lifted his head—and immediately regretted it.

Ngern stood there, fresh from the shower, damp hair messy and falling over his forehead. He wore a loose t-shirt and sweatpants, but Jes could still see the light sheen of water on his skin.

And worse? Ngern was staring at him.

Jes swallowed. Oh, god.

Neither of them spoke. The tension in the room was thick, too heavy, like both of them were waiting for the other to say something first.

Finally, Ngern cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck.

"So," he said, voice quieter than usual.

Jes exhaled, forcing himself to look anywhere but at Ngern's mouth.

"I'll—uh—I'll get you something to drink" Jes blurted, standing up too fast.

Ngern's eyes flickered, like he wanted to say something, but Jes did not wait.

He turned on his heel and all but fled to the kitchen.

Because if he stayed in that room a second longer, he might have done something even more reckless.

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Jes busied himself in the kitchen, rummaging through Ngern's cabinets as if his life depended on it. Food. Focus on food. Not Ngern. Definitely not the kiss.

He grabbed a carton of milk, stared at it for two seconds, and put it back.

Why the hell did he pick up milk?

He exhaled sharply, rubbing his hands over his face. His brain was not working right now. Not after that kiss.

Jes had kissed Ngern. On the lips. Full stop.

And worse? Ngern kissed him back.

Jes could still feel the ghost of it—soft, warm, careful. It had been brief, but not meaningless.

Jes pulled out some bread, eggs, and instant soup mix, deciding it was better than nothing. Something simple. Something that would get him out of the kitchen and back into the room where Ngern—no, nope, bad idea.

His hands froze over the counter as he let out a deep sigh. What was he even doing?

It wasn't just about the kiss. It was everything leading up to it.

The way Ngern texted him every day now. The way he bought things for Jes without a second thought. The way his family had welcomed Jes, as if he already belonged there.

And now, this.

Jes bit his lip, shaking his head.

Was he overthinking it?

He had no time to process further because, suddenly, there was a presence behind him—warm and close.

Jes barely turned before a hand reached past him, plucking the egg from his fingers.

"You're overcooking it."

Jes jumped. "Damn it, Ngern—"

He whirled around, too fast, too close.

Ngern was standing right there. Right there.

Jes's breath caught as Ngern looked at him—not teasing, not flustered. Just looking.

Jes had spent so much time trying to avoid his own feelings that he hadn't stopped to wonder about Ngern's.

And now, faced with the reality of it—the intensity of Ngern's stare, the way he didn't move away, didn't break eye contact— Jes felt something shift.

Something inevitable.

Ngern leaned slightly, just enough for Jes to catch his scent—fresh soap, warm skin.

Jes's pulse hammered.

"Jes."

Jes swallowed. Shit.

"Yeah?" His voice barely came out.

Ngern's eyes flickered lower.

"Was that an accident?" he asked, voice quiet. Careful.

Jes knew what he was asking.

The kiss.

Jes gripped the edge of the counter. If he said yes, Ngern would let it go. He would pretend it never happened. He would keep things the same.

But Jes didn't want that.

So, he did the stupidest thing imaginable.

He took a step closer, chest nearly brushing against Ngern's.

And then, voice barely above a whisper, he said—

"What if it wasn't?"