Memories Come at a Cost

RHIANNON

“Wh-what are you doing here?” Sabina is pale, and her voice shakes.

“Answers. We want answers now,” Isaac growls.

“Alpha? What are you—” Sabina asks, clearly confused as to why a werewolf alpha is here with me.

“She’s my mate,” he cuts her off.

Sabina covers her face with her hands, clearly upset by his answer.

“We aren’t going anywhere. You need to explain this, now,” Isaac threatens.

She takes a deep breath, obviously trying to compose herself, before gesturing for us to sit on some large rocks near the trunk of the tree.

Isaac sits and pulls me into his lap.

“Just start from the beginning, tell us everything,” Isaac says in an eerily calm voice.

Sabina lets out a shaky breath before starting. “Umm…okay…Rhiannon is the first winged fairy born in nearly two hundred years.

“We usually have four, but after the last group died, no new winged-ones were born. Until you. Just over a year ago, we were attacked at Mag Mell.

“The vampire king, Julius, somehow found us and burned everything to the ground. Most fairies didn’t make it out. He captured you and took you to his clan.

“If a vampire drinks directly from a winged fairy…they can’t be killed.”

Isaac is holding onto my hands tightly in his with his strong arms wrapped around my waist. I feel the muscles in his chest ripple against my back as he tries to stay calm.

Deep, angry growling sounds from the base of his throat send shivers down my spine.

Sabina continues, “he held you captive for two months in Brazil, until we rescued you.”

“Wait,” Madelyn sits up, straightening her back and turning to Isaac, who I feel repositioning behind me.

“Brazil?” he asks.

Sabina nods a confirmation.

“And this was just over a year ago?” he probes further.

Rhodes and I look around, confused, clearly the only two who are not understanding the significance of this.

Isaac leans into me slightly to explain, “Last year there were vampire attacks on three packs in Brazil. They were completely annihilated. Not a single survivor.

“We didn’t understand it, and our counsels are still investigating, trying to figure it out.

“But if the vampires that attacked couldn’t die, that would explain why they were able to completely wipe out entire packs.”

Rhodes nods while my chest begins to burn. I feel like an elephant is sitting on me, like I can’t inhale completely.

Three entire packs were obliterated because of my blood.

“Annie?” Isaac pulls me closer to his chest and tries to make me look at him, but I pinch my eyes closed. A sob pushes through my chest as I cover my face in my hands.

“Annie,” his voice is quiet against my ear, “this isn’t your fault, little mate. You didn’t do anything wrong, you were held captive. What happened isn’t on you.”

“They all died because of my blood,” I cry into his neck.

“They all died because of the actions of a group of vampires.” He kisses my mark softly.

After several minutes, I feel composed enough to continue.

“Why can’t I remember any of this?” I ask Sabina through sniffling breaths.

She hesitates and looks toward Alix and Shazi. She stands and takes a few steps toward the hanging moss.

“Why?” Isaac growls, causing her to stop.

She turns but still doesn’t say anything. Rhodes looks frustrated as he rises from the rock he’s sitting on.

“Why can’t she remember?” Isaac asks again, his voice raspy and vibrating in obvious strain. He’s getting angry.

“We… I…” Sabina stutters, her body trembling.

“Her memory was wiped clean by a warlock,” Alix carefully tells us. “If a fairy doesn’t know they are a fairy, they smell human.

“Part of our magic is in our cognizance of our power. Rhi—Annie not knowing that she’s a fairy gave her the best chance of hiding from King Julius.”

Isaac moves beneath me.

“What kind of stupid fucking plan was that? Wipe her memory and leave her alone? That was your only option?” Isaac is seething.

“The other option was to kill her,” Sabina says angrily. “We were stuck with bad options all the way around. We hardly made it out when we rescued her.

“She wasn’t conscious, we didn’t know what to do. We couldn’t let him get her again. We don’t have a kingdom to hide in anymore. This is all we could think to do to keep her safe!”

Sabina’s yelling and crying by the end of her rant.

I’m not mad at them, I can see that they truly did what they thought would be best. They wanted to keep me safe and alive, while also keeping others safe.

They can’t be faulted for the choice they made with their backs up against the wall.

I know Isaac is mad, he feels like they made the wrong decision. I can sense his ire through the bond.

He’s mad at them and he’s mad at himself. Even though he didn’t know me, he blames himself for my pain.

I squeeze his hand in one of mine while rubbing my free hand up and down on his tense chest. His muscles relax slightly under my tentative touch.

“Do I smell different?” I ask quietly, trying to distract him further.

“Yes,” Isaac, Rhodes, and Madelyn answer quickly and simultaneously.

I turn in his lap to whisper to only Isaac. “Different bad?”

“No, not at all. I wouldn’t have thought you could possibly smell better, but somehow you do. It’s still you, just…sweeter somehow,” he says against my ear.

I bite back a smile. I’m uncomfortable with the private, intimate moments we’ve had in front of others recently. Maybe I should have waited to ask him about my smell until we were alone.

“We need to get rid of Julius for good,” Rhodes speaks suddenly.

Isaac and Madelyn nod in agreement.

“We don’t know how to get close enough to him to do that, at least not without more help,” Sabina tells him.

“Can I help? If you give me back my memory, I’m sure I can help with something,” I ask, hoping they will consider returning my past to me.

“Rhiannon, we can’t give you your memory back,” Sabina says sadly.

“If we return your missing past, everything that has happened since you woke up from the coma will be erased. You won’t remember Isaac.”

I feel Isaac’s breathing pattern change. I can’t imagine not remembering him. I don’t want to forget the best thing in my life.

“Okay, we’ll find another way. I don’t want to remember if that’s the outcome.”

Isaac lets out a shaky breath behind me. I know that forgetting him would break his heart.

I also know he won’t try to talk me out of it if I decide to do it. He will do what’s best for me at his own expense.

“We’ll figure something out. With wolves on our side we have a chance we didn’t have before,” Sabina says quietly.

I can’t forget Isaac. I won’t let that happen.