Chapter 30

The Unwanted Bride Of Atticus Fawn Chapter 30 ~AUTUMN~

Atticus didn’t try to stop me again. I think my anger was clearly showing and he understood not to refuse me. I didn’t try to hide it from him. He knows what he did last night. He knows why I do not want to speak to him. He knows that I saw him with Anya and he knows what it did to me. If Clarissa could realize that I cried last night, he must see it also. Did he feel guilty at all?

I walk past him and straight into the waiting helicopter. They didn’t have time to waste.

I hugged Maya as soon as I got onto it—that had been her name all along. Maya. And it turns out Kane was her mate.

After speaking to her and ensuring she was okay, I’d left her to be with her mate.

I could see how much they loved each other; he definitely loved her a lot. I could see it in his eyes whenever he looked at her, and I think she also felt his love. She knew he loved her plenty.

Why couldn’t I have the same thing with Atticus? Why did he have to love someone else? And why couldn’t Anya leave us alone?

The answer was simple, Atticus was the reason she wasn’t letting go. He kept giving her reasons for her to fight for them. He kept running to her and protecting her even though he knew his brothers could do an excellent job at that. He knew she didn’t need him, she never needed him even from the start.

The more I thought about it, the more I got angry.

I’ve loved Atticus for so many years; all I’ve wanted was for him to feel the same way about me.

Yesterday, things happened between us that gave me hope that maybe, just maybe, there’s a chance for us, a chance for him to feel what I felt for him. But him hugging Anya right after we came from the spring has dulled my hope.

How could he be so intimate with me and hug her right after? It made me feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it.

“Autumn,” he says as he joins my side, as if reading my mind. “I think we need to talk. About everything.”

“Does this look like the right time to have this discussion Atticus?” I snap as the helicopter lands.

He seems taken aback by my tone. I’ve never been this harsh with him and hate being that way, but I can’t seem to get rid of the anger.

“After all of this, I want to explain what happened.” He tries once more.

I didn’t think there was anything that he could say to make this better.

He helped me out of the helicopter even though I didn’t want his help.

Multiple vehicles are waiting for us, prepared to take us to our destination. The witch who’d taken baby Roman had made it clear who she wanted hostage. The women were preparing to save him. They were risking their lives to bring him back even though some of them were pregnant, I admired their strength and courage.

A reunion follows right after. Lucy’s brothers joined us, and there were a few of them. I watch as they all hug and try to comfort her. I wish I could do something, anything, to make her feel better. I can’t imagine losing my baby and wondering if I’ll ever see him again. It’s something no mother ever wants to experience.

A notification on my phone catches my attention. I unlock it and stare at the message. I took a deep breath as I saw the name.

It’s from Anya.

I don’t want to look at it, but I can’t resist. I want to know what she has to say to me. Part of me already knows it’s about Atticus.

Would she explain more about what happened between them last night after he’d dropped me in the room? Did he leave with her? I don’t know what happened after I shut the door, and I was scared to find out. I didn’t want to hurt my heart more than it had already been broken.

‘Listen to the recording. You might hear something important.’

That was all she’d said. A recording? Was it from yesterday?

I didn’t have my headphones with me, so instead, I slowed the volume down and held the phone close to my ear as I listened.

‘You will always come first, and you know that. I’m not sure what will happen after today, but I promise I will never look at her the way I look at you. We are mates; I can’t look at another woman like I do you. But right now, sweetheart, I can’t tell you I won’t care for her. After today, I have responsibilities toward her, and I won’t be able to ignore all of them. If you want me not to touch her, you know that certain traditions will require me to touch her; I can promise not to take her to bed, to not sleep with her.

That’s the most I can do for you, my mate. I’m sorry for failing you like this. I’m so sorry.’

The phone drops from my hand. That was Atticus, and I would know his voice anywhere.

How could he make those promises to her? How could he promise never to take me to bed when we were husband and wife?

He made these promises to her; she didn’t force him to do it. He willingly said those things to her.

The only reason why he’s ever cared for me is because of his duty because he’s forced to do it; he’s never really cared for me from his own free will. I’m reminded once more than Anya was his true love, not me, never me. It’s always been her no matter how much it hurts me to admit it. I was stupid for thinking there was ever a chance for Atticus to love me. He’s made it clear since the beginning how much Anya means to him. But hearing the way he spoke to her only made the pain harder.

Another thought crashes into my mind and I clutch my chest. It couldn’t be. He wouldn’t do that to me. But the evidence was here. I couldn’t deny it.

Was his promise to her the real reason he didn’t want to touch me yesterday? He claimed he didn’t want to do it because I was drunk, but I didn’t think that was his real reason anymore. He stopped anything from happening because of his promise to her. To never take me to bed.

I couldn’t believe this. I felt sick to my stomach.

How could he do this to me?

‘I will never look at her the way I look at you.’

I knew that; I’ve seen it happen a hundred times before, but to hear him say those words to her. . . It was heart-wrenching. I could barely breathe.

This wasn’t happening. It was destroying everything, all the hopes I had for our future. It was destroying it all before it even had a chance of beginning.