Chapter 10 - Turning point

Iris' POV

I decide to head to the bathroom before I leave the house. A sinking feeling settling in my stomach. I attempt a deep breath before meeting my own eyes in the mirror, a gasp gets caught in my throat. The same colours I saw last night are still there tho they look slightly dull.

I shut my eyes as I clench my jaw and keep them closed as I reach for the tap. I let the water run through my fingers and the feeling helps grounds me. My heart slows down to it's normal pattern.

Feeling calmer I open my eyes again being met by the exact same golden and silver eyes gazing right back at me.

"Fuck ..." I mutter not knowing what else to do I walk back into my room to search for my phone.

"How is this possible? What is happening? What the actual fuck? Am I losing it? What do I do?"

As the panic begins to set in I call the only person that might have some answers, my old army doctor, the one that gave and adjusted my medication as needed.

After a few rings she picks up. Her voice sounds groggy and tired. "Hello?"

"Hey doc long time no speak!" I say trying my best to sound as calm as possible even tho I felt anything but.

"Iris? Is that you?"

A nervous laughter escapes me.

"Yes I'm sorry to call like this but I didn't know who else to come to with this."

"I ... Where have you been? What happened with you?" Her voice betrays a mix of worry and hurt. "It's been years!"

"I'm sorry... You know I couldn't stay... Not with everything going on ... And you suggested it yourself it was better and safer that way there was nothing healthy left for me there. If I stayed things would get progressively worse. I didn't know if I could survive it. I didn't want to keep being used like that. Or anything else of what they were doing... It was just too much... And it didn't feel like they even cared about my well being..." I rant on trying to explain myself to the person who was one of my closest friends at one point in my life.

I only stop when she softly interrupts me.

"Hey hey it's okay... I know all of this Iris. I did advise you to leave I just didn't expect to be completely cut off but I do understand why and it was probably better and safer for both of us that you did. That being said why are you calling me now?"

"There's something weird happening... I don't know if it's actually happening or if I'm imagining it... I don't know what to do ... Please Haurvatat... I need your help..."

The persian sighs heavily. "I will be there as soon as I can get a flight. In the meantime it's probably best if you stay home. I think it's time we have a conversation that I hoped we could avoid."

Her words leave me puzzled but I give her my address and she hurriedly hangs up after that.

I keep her warning in mind only going out to my backyard to let the dogs run around.

Her words loop in my head as flashes from the dream break through the fog and bring forth a splitting headache as well as a feeling that I'm missing something.

I sit on the grass as I watch the dogs run around. Usually moments like this would bring me a sense of peace but right now there's a heaviness weighing me down that makes it impossible to feel anything other than a short of breath like I'm on the verge of drowning and desperately trying to swim my way up so I can get my head out of the water without ever being able to succeed. It feels like fighting a battle I know I can't win.

A heavy sigh escapes me as I feel myself sinking further into the haze inside me. It's like everything about who I am is hidden behind a thick curtain that I can't seem to get through. Like I'm nothing more than a shell of a living being but can't manage to reach the memories or feelings that make me the person I am.

After a long time I get up to make my way back inside the house. Everything in me feels too heavy to carry.

I managed to drag myself into the bathroom as I once again stand in front of the mirror staring at my own reflection. The eyes that gaze back at me are ones that I don't recognise. They're the same as the ones from the young girl that called me Gaia.

"Who is Gaia? Was she confusing me with someone else? And who is that girl? Why does she feel so familiar yet I can't place it at all.... She looks like me but I don't have any siblings as far as my adoptive family knew... They couldn't even figure out who I was ... It was like I suddenly just appeared out of thin air... How is that possible?"

I close my eyes not wanting to see the golden and silver reflecting back at me.

"How is any of this possible?" I say out loud, frustration building up inside me and pushing it's way through to the surface.

Opening my eyes once again I'm met with a flash of the previous night.

"Wake up Gaia!"

"FUCK!!" I growl out as I punch the mirror in front of me shattering the image of the girl.

There's a anchoring throbbing on my knuckles as I look at the small cuts adorned with little pieces of the reflective surface on them I feel numb.

I run my hand under water and something snaps through the mist.

*Memory*

I'm sitting in the grass watching as two wolf dragon pups run around and play when someone comes running up to me panic in their voice.

"Gaia you have to come help, please, please Vigdís is drowning! Gaia please she's drowning!"

I jump to my feet immediately following behind the young boy.

A short run after he stops and points at the water. I squint trying to see in which direction to swim when I spot a hand barely breaking through the surface of the water. I rush in swimming as fast as my body allows me to reach the girl.

I dive in looking around for her after a couple of seconds that felt like an eternity I see Vi being swallowed by the water as her unconscious body is being engulfed by darkness something in me snaps causing light to erupt from my skin as I propel myself through the water and grab her, effortlessly gliding out of the water and onto the sand. I lay the girl down gently and kneel beside her as I do chest compressions I see the glowing forms dancing across my skin die out. After a few seconds of CPR the forest green eyes snap open and coughs erupt from the boy's older sister. I help her roll to her side as she recovers her breath. Erik profusely thanks me as both of us let out a sigh of relief.

After making sure they're both safe I push myself up only to feel dizziness tip me over as I fall into nothingness.

*End of memory*

I come back to my senses as I hear an urgent knock on the door.

"What the hell was that?" I ask myself as I sluggishly make my way to my door opening it without even stopping to look through the peep hole. To my surprise I'm enveloped by a small frame that hugs me tight, I stiffen before my brain has time to process it. The warmth reminds me of drinking hot chocolate on rainy days. That's when I realise who it is. I relax a bit in her arms but can't shake the uneasy feeling at the pit of my stomach.

"I missed you!" She whispers into my shoulder. "I can't believe I get to hug you again!"

H pulls back and I finally look at her. Her grey eyes drink me in as she looks at me from head to toes. As her gaze settles on my face a small gasp escapes her and she quickly pushes me inside the house and closes the door behind her.

Her soft hands come up to my face as she stares deeply into my eyes.

"Have you stopped taking your medication?" She asks as she slightly tilts my head up her other hand sliding down to my neck as she counts to herself.

I shake my head in response which prompts her to furrow her brows.

She let's go of my face only to grab one of my hands as she turns it around to look at my arms softly caressing the tattoos only to let go and repeat the same actions on the other side.

Her eyes close for a second and she sighs warily.

"There's a lot I need to tell you!" The light haired woman can't bring herself to look me in the eyes as she makes her way past me and further into the house.

Her words resonate within me and I quickly turn around to follow her.

"Maybe I'll finally get some answers!"

I felt a little spark of hope illuminated my path for a second and the fog in my heart and mind seemed just a little bit thinner.

She sits on the sofa while looking around taking everything in. She looks lost in thought and for a couple of minutes no words come out of her mouth. Soon she realises I haven't moved from the doorway, so she pats the cushion next to her while staring me down.

"I don't bite!" The tiny smirk adorning her delicate features is unmistakable.

I make my way over to her unceremoniously sitting down, a tired huff escapes my lips when I allow my weight to fall onto the comfy pillows. As my gaze shifts to the wavy haired woman. She bites her lip and raises her gaze to meet mine. There's an undeniable tension that still exists between us. For a few seconds there's no words spoken as the pull between us simmers and flows.

Her ponytail sways from side to side as she shakes her head, finally breaking the silence.

"There's a lot we don't know about you which is something that always attracted me towards you, you just have this constant aura of mystery around you, it's captivating, but it can also be intimidating. The army saw you as both a weapon and a possible threat. Which is why they never told you what they knew about you or to be more exact what they didn't know."

Her emerald orbs meet mine as if to drive her point.

"We don't know where you came from, there's no record of anyone like you ever setting foot on this earth and everything they learned was by running tests on you. They followed you around from the moment you arrived. They appointed a guardian to look over you and in a last case scenario neutralise you. As they learned about your ... Let's call it condition they tried to reverse engineer it. They tried to create more people like you even tho they were scared it might end up biting them in the butt. When all their attempts failed and they kept learning about the extension of what you can do they started to working on a inhibitor for what makes you different. After many tries and failed attempts they succeed in creating a "cure". It seemed to work very well and as long as you kept taking them you were no more than human. So they made up a story about it and drilled it into your brain completely erasing any sort of memory you had before their presence. You were not you anymore you were Iris now, a tool, a soldier, someone that could serve them and fight for them while they anything but being honest with you. You were not a threat any longer. Until you started having dreams and that's where I came in to keep track of your health and making sure your dreams were nothing more than that. Dreams. You could not suspect anything. Years went on and we only ever needed to make minor adjustments to the dosage so they would suppress the flare ups of power that your body created as if to fight off the effects of the drugs you were given. When you left without a word they weren't happy but your unique traits kept you under their radar and they knew there was nothing they could do to find you for as long as you didn't want to be found. You represented no risk to them for as long as you had access to your medication which where I came in. I kept track of your intake and made sure you were able to obtain it no matter where you were and I kept your location a secret up until the moment I left. I know that doesn't answer most of the questions you might have but I have been the one keeping your "medication" stocked. I have been keeping you safe in the only way I could even tho I was very upset at you for leaving without telling me and even tho you were following my advice. It still hurt nonetheless. I was head over heels for you. I can't put into words what seeing you now is doing to me... But I'm ranting now. I hope some of your questions got answered. Unfortunately I don't know much more. They hid a lot of information from me even tho I was your doctor at the time and I was supposed to keep you healthy and in control they only told me the basic need to know."

I take a moment to try and process all the information being dropped on me. As I try to hold back my emotions about all that has been said I look back at my old flame catching her watching me as if studying my every move.

I can see the turmoil of feelings pulsing just under her skin, no matter how hard she tries to hold it all in.

H closes her eyes while shaking her head.

"I'm sorry I can't be more helpful."

I can feel a storm of emotions brewing just under the surface so I place my hand gently on her arm.

"Thank you for being honest with me! It means a lot! But if the medication worked as they planned why is this happening now?"

"I - I don't know! If you're still taking it regularly nothing should have changed. So something in your life must have triggered it."

"The only thing that has changed is the people that I have in my life! But I don't see how that could have any effect on any of this!"

A small shrug is sent my way.

"There's no way to tell. Your "condition" is too unique. Your guess is as good as mine!"

"So what can I do? I don't want to be a danger to the people around me nor do I want to scare anyone!"

Her gaze softens and there's a sadness shining in them.

"Isolation might be the best option. At least until we figure this out. You don't need to fully isolate but your interactions should be limited and it might be best if I supervise them to try and help narrow down the source of the change."

A defeated nod is the only answer I can muster. Every fiber of my being feeling drained and overwhelmed.

I sink back into the mist allowing the numb feeling to envelop me and swallow me whole. As I do so I lean back and rest my head on the soft material behind me as I tilt my head slightly to look at the attractive woman next to me. "I understand!"

A pout forms on her beautiful face.

"I'm sorry!"

Her words are the last thing I hear before I doze off.

I call off work and for the next few weeks I mostly stay home with the doctor almost constantly watching over me. Every night I have weird dreams some of them including the freckled soft eyed beautiful woman that has constantly on my mind. I haven't Sam for some time keeping our interactions mostly through messages.

The days feel slow but my eyes seem to have been returning to a duller colour closest to my usual dark brown.

My new temporary roommate constantly fusses over me, making sure to keep very detailed notes of not only my vital signs but also of any and all kind of changes that have been occurring no matter how small or seemingly insignificant.

I walk outside to catch a bit of sunlight and the shorter woman follows me. I stand in my porch for some time feeling the soft caress and warmth of it. I hear approaching voices and as I open my eyes they land on two figures patiently making their way towards my house. My heart speeds up and the small spark in it reignites, bringing forth a wave of emotions that has me weak in the knees. H gasps next to me and as I divert my attention away from my friends and to her she brings her hands up to either side of my face pulling it slightly down as she gazes at me deeply.

"Your eyes!!!" This was said as barely even a whisper. A heavy sigh leaves me as I close them tight. I dejectedly lower my head as the persian's small hand rests on the back of my neck and guides me softly down so my forehead is resting on her shoulder.

The footsteps stop a bit away.

"We came to see Iris!" One of the voices says concern clearly bleeding through the words.

"I'm sorry she's not feeling well we were just about to head back inside. Maybe you can come back another time? Hopefully she'll be well enough to get visitors soon."

"Oh okay! Take care Iris! We'll see you soon!"

"Let's go in!" It's very softly instructed to me.

My feelings create a tornado inside of me twisting, turning while bringing anything and everything in it's path down.

I try to reach out to the small gorgeous woman but I don't hear from her again.

Feeling more dejected with each day, hurting but refusing to give up on her.

Her cold attitude makes me hurt in a way I never have before. Her silence creating screaming voices in my head as I fight myself and try to push my negative emotions down but every time they come back up stronger as they pull me under, the current pushes me to the bottom.

It becomes harder and harder to swim back up to feel the light on my face and get away from the darkness. At some point the black abyss I fall into is all I know because I don't have the energy to fight anymore. I don't have it in me to save myself.

So I sink into a place where there's no light, no spark, no colour or happiness. Only thing I feel is numb, being too spent to even feel pain anymore, too drained to blame myself any further and too exhausted to get back up.

So I just sit there with my head on my knees as I let the surrounding gloom lull me away.

~~~~~~~~~~

A.N.

Thank you all for the 5k reads it means a lot to me. When I first started writing I didn't think I would get any reads but I do really enjoy the process. I hope you all do too.

Thank you so much for giving my story a chance.

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