Chapter 60- Taunting Doubts

[] A M E L I A []

I drove home in utter confusion. All of what Lillian told me about Jackson didn't seem to fit.

Why wouldn't he come home for three years? Yet, he managed to always find me where I went? And if he claimed to love Brittany so much, why hasn't he been there for his mother, Lillian?

Was that his way of coping with the loss of Brittany? By ignoring his mother, who went through the same loss and clearly needed him?

Question after question plagued my mind. However, I couldn't find the answer to any of them.

* * *

I got home in the early hours of the morning, nearly at 5 am. I had gone to sleep, my mind still running with questions. However, when I had almost drifted off to sleep, I somehow thought of a solution to all of this. I didn't know if it would work, but I wanted to give it a try.

When I woke up the next morning, the first thing I did was barge into my parent's room. My dad was just getting out of bed and mom was brushing her hair in front of the vanity. Both were startled when I came in, and in a rush I went to go sit by Dad.

"Whoa, morning there pumpkin! Why are you up so early?" Dad asked, yawning as he did so.

"Mom, dad. There's something I wanted to say," I said, switching between looking at Mom and Dad.

Mom stopped brushing her hair and came to sit beside me.

"What is it Amelia?" Mom asked tenderly.

"I want to see Levi."

Before I could even blink, Dad rose from his spot on the bed. He looked down at me, a furious expression on his face. I had never seen him like that.

"Absolutely not," he said.

I frowned in confusion.

"No, Amelia. No way. I am not letting you near him. Just... no."

Dad started pacing, hands on his hips, as he muttered incoherent words under his breath. I let out a deep breath and turned to Mom. She was already staring at me, a curious glint on her face.

"Why Amelia?" She asked.

Dad froze and also turned to me. I eyed both of them nervously, not knowing how to say what I wanted to without hurting both of them. They also couldn't know that I had gone to visit Lillian. I don't know how they would react.

I finally let out a breath and faced them.

"Because I want to let go."

Both Mom and Dad gave me their full attention, their eyes wide.

"I want to forgive myself. I'm so sick of hurting like this. Ever since yesterday, I've been thinking that all my life has just been a blur. I can't tell the truth from lies anymore and I don't want to live like this. I want to stay in Lethbrigde, I want to go grocery shopping without feeling eyes on me every second, and I want to stay with the people I care about, without feeling afraid."

I let out a deep breath, cutting through my rant.

"And I feel like the only way I can do that, is by seeing Levi."

We were silent for the next few minutes, all of us thinking about what I had just said. It then occured to me that it wasn't me that wanted to see Levi first. He had wanted to see me.

I turned to Mom quickly, my eyes wide.

"Mom, you said he wanted to see me a month ago. Why was that?" I asked desperately.

"I never asked honey," she said quietly.

"What? What do you mean you never asked? What if he had to tell us something important? What if he-"

"Amelia," Dad said sternly.

I snapped my head to him, only to catch his burning eyes.

"He doesn't get a right to talk to you now. Not now. Not after 4 years."

And that had been what I was telling myself.

But for some reason, I couldn't anymore. I couldn't tell myself to stay away from Levi anymore. My brother. The guy who had always been my shoulder to cry on, the guy who saw me at times when I wasn't happy, the guy who picked me up every time I fell.

I wanted to see that Levi.

Did that make me a bad person?

Absolutely.

But I couldn't help it. I couldnt accept what was in front of me anymore. Because evrything had changed in the last few months. Nothing felt the same.

And now, some sick part of me thinks that that night could have been a lie too.

I looked up at Dad, my own eyes strong. We had never faced each other off like this. It was always me and Dad against the world. For the first time in forever, him and I didn't agree on something.

"Dad, I need to know."

We stared at each other for the longest time. Neither of us backing down. Suddenly, Mom stepped in between us.

"Jerry, Amelia, stop it both of you. What has gotten into you?" She asked exasperated.

I finally let out a breath and looked away from Dad's pained gaze.

"This is not the time to be talking to each other like this," she continued.

We were both silent. For the first time, Dad and I were ashamed as we got scolded by Mom. Before, we'd merely laugh it off, or mock her as she lectured us. But not today.

Finally, I felt the bed beside me dip. I looked up to see Dad looking at me, an apologetic look on his face.

"I'm sorry, Lia. I didn't mean to make you feel bad about this. If you want to see Levi... you can. And I guess with the way it's going to be now that the case is reopened, I guess we'll have to anyway."

I let out a relieved breath. I reached over and interlaced Dad's hand with mine.

"We all should go see him dad. It's been four years. Maybe it's time we finally find a way to deal with this."

Mom and Dad both sucked in a breath at my words. They were both lost in thought, until Mom broke the silence once again.

"Okay Amelia. We'll do it. If you can be strong about this, so can we."

I smiled at Mom and she smiled back.

We both then looked over to Dad expectantly, who finally sighed after our pestering gazes.

"Fine. I'll speak with the lawyers to get a time for us to see him," dad said.

I nodded and gave him a small smile.

"Thanks, dad. I want to get this done as soon as possible and then go home."

* * *

The following two days were agonizing. Mom and Dad had been busy with the lawyers, meeting one after the other, trying to settle the case. The media wasn't involved yet since nothing was confirmed, which I was grateful for.

Gemma had been the bestest friend I could ask for in this time. Anytime when I'd succumb to a dark corner to let my thoughts sink in, Gemma would butt in, either forcing me to study or do anything else to get my mind off of everything that's been going on. I had barely felt anxious about meeting Levi anymore, but my thoughts about Leo were getting more dangerous as time passed by.

He probably hated me now.

I haven't spoken to him since I left. Even when he ended up in the hospital, I stayed silent. I was utterly terrified and sad that he got hurt because of me. I had been a victim to Jackson's torture before, and that was when I let him take his anger out on me. I could only imagine how badly he hurt Leo. The same Leo who beat him up brutally in a party, and once before that, just for hurting me.

Jackson must've been livid.

My heart ached for Leo. I just wanted to run to him and never look back. But then I remembered how I left him that morning, and more importantly, how I didn't even contact him when he's in the hospital now. He probably thought I didn't care anymore, which wasn't true. I cared too much.

But all of it added up. I couldn't face him anymore. I didn't want to see the hate in his eyes when he saw me again.

I'd break.

More than that, I couldn't give Jackson more of a reason to get to me. No. Absolutely not. I will be strong about this. No matter how much it hurt.

Just as I was thinking of all the possibilities of what could be going on back there, my room door suddenly opened.

Dad entered, his body rigid.

"Amelia."

I quickly got out of bed and walked over to him.

"What is it, dad? Everything okay?" I asked, putting a hand on his arm.

He nodded, bringing a hand to pat mine on his arm.

"Everything is good. I just wanted to tell you that we set a time to meet Levi."

I nodded.

"We're meeting him tomorrow, 10 am sharp. We only get half an hour with him so we have to be there on time," he explained.

I nodded once more.

"Got it, dad."

We were silent for a couple minutes, until dad spoke.

"What made this happen honey?" He suddenly asked.

I looked up to him startled.

"What made you want to see Levi, after all these years?"

I thought about what he'd asked me. My thoughts flashed to the night I went to see Lillian, and how she deserved to know what really happened with her daughter on her last night. I thought about Brittany and how she deserved the right justice for all that she had been through. I thought about how we all deserved to know had happened that night, but more than that, I thought of a certain brown-eyed boy.

In that moment, I did something I never imagined myself to do at a time like this. I smiled at dad.

"I just found something worth moving for."

Dad's eyes widened at my response, but he covered it up and nodded.

"I hope it's worth enough that you won't break down if this hurts you."

* * *

At night, Gemma had sneaked into my room. We just finished having dinner, and all had retired to our rooms. I frowned in confusion as I saw her come in. She only shrugged and slipped into bed beside me. I just smiled and shook my head, before joining her too.

"Are you nervous for tomorrow?" Gemma asked as we settled in.

We were both lying on our sides facing eachother. I had one hand under my ear as the other was pulling my blanket up to my neck, cocooning me in.

I sighed and nodded.

"Of course I am Gemma. I haven't spoken to him in four years," I mumbled.

She nodded.

"If you don't mind me asking, what was his trial like, Amelia?" Gemma asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

I frowned thinking back to that time. I had fallen in such a dark hole then that I barely remembered that time. What I do remember clearly though, is sitting in the courtroom, watching as Levi committed to his own crime.

It was true, Levi had committed to assaulting and strangling Brittany to death.

What didn't make sense now though, was how drugs were involved.

"He committed to killing Brittany at the trial. That's why the case had ended so quickly. And you know that he was sentenced to federal jail for 17 years," I said.

"He commited to it?" Gemma gasped.

I nodded.

"He said he killed her, but drugs were never mentioned."

Gemma was lost in thought.

"This is all so weird now. Now there's a possibility that Levi never even killed her in the first place," Gemma said under her breath.

I nodded and turned onto my back.

"Amelia, if that night never happened, if we all didn't go to that party and things didn't happen the way they did- do you think Levi would still be capable of killing Brittany?" Gemma asked.

I frowned as I thought of her question.

The answer was a hard no.

Although Levi had said things about Brittany and John, and he had even been blatantly jealous of them, Levi was still a good person. He was loved by everyone and he knew how to make long-lasting friends. He had a good circle of friends too. In fact, if someone were to tell me before the incident that Levi were to kill someone, I'd laugh in their face. Levi never even killed insects, let alone a human.

I sighed and looked over to Gemma.

"The answer will always be the same Gemma. I never thought he would do it. I've never seen him hurt another soul, even on purpose."

Gemma frowned at this.

"I have no doubt about that Amelia. He is your brother. In fact, that's what scares me more now. That he's your brother. You went through years of torture for something that wasn't your fault... do you think...do you think Levi was the same?"

I stilled at her question. I never thought about it that way.

"I don't know Gemma. I don't know."

We were silent afer that, both lost in our own dishevelled thoughts.

"Hey Amelia," Gemma said after a little while.

I hummed to let her know I was listening.

"He went home now. Leo did."

My heart lurched as she told me that.

"Jamal said he didn't want to be in the hospital anymore. No matter how much they tried to keep him there, he wouldn't listen. He's back in his apartment now and the boys are staying with him."

I closed my eyes, imagining the state Leo would be in right now. Battered and bruised. And probably coming to his apartment to find it cold. He always turned the heat off before he left.

I wondered if there was anything in the fridge to eat. Take out wouldn't be good in his state. He should have a home-cooked meal-

"Amelia," Gemma said. "I'm trying to understand, I really am. But I can't figure out why you're doing this. You're hurting him and yourself."

I opened my eyes, only to face the dark ceiling above me.

"I'm protecting us Gemma. Believe me. I am."

"Then why won't you tell him that?" Gemma asked.

I let out a strangled breath.

"Because he won't believe me if I told him."

* * *

The next morning, I was awake before anyone else. It was a Monday morning, and I thought of stopping by the grocery store to get some food for us for breakfast. I wanted to make a meal today so mom didn't have to worry about it. I didn't bother changing out of my pajamas, since the store was only a few minutes away. As I was pulling my boots on, my phone rang.

I pulled it out of my pocket and frowned when I saw the unknown number.

After the thrid ring, I picked up and brought it to my ear. For some reason, I didn't have a good feeling about this. Dreadfully, I waited for the person on the other side to speak.

"Who is this?" I said after a few moments of waiting.

Silence.

And then, his sinister laugh.

"Amelia Harrison."

My blood ran cold.

I froze in my spot, my phone nearly slipping from my hands.

He hurt him.

He hurt him.

He hurt him.

"What do you want?" I asked, keeping my voice as steady as I could.

"Always wanting something, aren't you princess?"

Bile rose in my throat as I heard him call me that. I was suddenly reminded of when Leo called me that, and my mind was eased for a moment.

"Cut the crap Jackson. What is it?" I growled out, surprising myself.

"Oh, fiesty. Haven't heard that tone from you in nearly four years," he said with a sigh. "Tell you what, just for old times sake, I'll give you a generous amount of time to get here where I want you."

"Why would come where you ask me to?" I asked.

"Because, I have something you might want."

"What could you possibly have that I-"

"Does a Leo Kennedy ring a bell?"

I felt as if I was hit by a bucket of cold water.

Leo.

Jackson had Leo.

"I got him shipped him to our city Amelia, just to make it easier for you. So hustle hustle, before I kill him."