Chapter 23-Taunting Explanations

[] A M E L I A []

"Red or blue?" Brittany asked, holding up two dresses for me to see.

I lazily opened an eye and pointed to the blue. She let out a dramatic sigh.

"You're not even looking!" she complained.

I sighed and popped both eyes open, then pointed to the blue again. She turned to the floor-length mirror behind her and let out a satisfied smile.

"Blue it is then."

I rolled my eyes at her. Just then, there was a knock at my door.

"Come in," I sang.

Levi poked his head through the door and I gave him a questioning look. From what I knew, he wasn't supposed to be back from work until 7, and it was only 5 in the evening now.

"What 'cha doing?" I asked.

"Just here to- oh hey Brittany," he suddenly said, completely turning his attention to her.

Brittany waved to him and continued checking her outfit out in the mirror. He continued staring at her dreamily, and I had to chuck a pillow at him to get his attention. He snapped out of his daze after that and turned to glare at me. Then, he quickly turned his attention back to Brittany.

"So Brittany..." he started.

She mumbled out a 'Mhmm' and he continued.

"Who you heading to the party with?" he casually asked.

I rolled my eyes at him from my spot on the couch.

Brittany did the same and turned to face him.

"Listen... I already clarified that I'm not interested. I'm dating John now and that's how I would like it to stay. We are both going to the party together."

At this, he frowned and pulled away from the wall.

"Why him?" he simply asked.

Brittany sighed.

"Because I'm in love with him."

My eyes widened at this newfound information and I got up from the couch from the shock of what she said. Although I knew that what she felt for John was more than mere infatuation, I never thought she would admit to being in love with him only after a few months of dating.

My brother was in the same state of shock as me, since his mouth fell agape at her words.

"Wh-what? You- you can't," he spluttered.

She frowned.

"Of course I can. I already have."

"You can't!" he angrily said, taking a step closer to her.

Brittany stood her ground and looked him straight in the eye. The atmosphere was getting heavier by the second and I made an attempt to switch up the conversation.

"Uh, guys. Break it up," I said, walking closer to the duo.

However it was no use.

"Why not?" Brittany simply asked, folding her arms over her chest.

"Because I'm in love with you!" he exclaimed.

At this, Brittany's eyes softened.

"But I can't love you back, Levi. I'm sorry."

* * *

Finally snapping myself out of the past, I sighed and for the first time, told someone about what happened.

"We were heading to a party, Brittany and I. On the way there, she was so, so happy. She was going to tell John she loved him that night. She rambled all the way there. For once, our roles were reversed," I said, remembering the day as if it happened yesterday.

I let in a shaky breath, reminiscing in my memory of that moment. The moment before it went downhill.

"Then we got to the party. As soon as she got out of the car, she hugged me and said that she'll catch me later. Then she left to go find John. I headed inside too and went over to where my friends were. I was with them, Leo. I was with them the whole time," I said shakily, hugging myself as I remembered their faces.

So friendly they were that night.

"Then John came looking for me. I was so surprised to find him and I asked him where Brittany was."

A small whimper escaped my lips and tears started flowing freely down my cheeks.

'This was it. This was when it had probably happened.'

I heard Leo call out my name but I barely paid attention to him.

Four years. It had been four years since the incident and for the first time since then, I was telling someone that wasn't the police, about my side of the story.

And now that I started, I needed to finish.

"She never made it to him."

A wretched sob escaped my lips as I said the words.

"As John came up to me and asked where she was, someone came running out onto the floor, yelling, 'He killed her! She's dead!' We didn't know what happened," I let out a sob, remembering how scared the boy who was yelling looked.

"Someone said her name. And that's when John grabbed my hand and we ran to the room where everyone was going. John pushed his way through for both of us. There were so many people there, Leo. So many. And they just wouldn't move," I whimpered. "When we got to the front, I saw the horrifed look on John's face first. I turned around to see what was happening, but John pulled me into his chest, not letting me see anything."

I let in a shaky breath, but unable to stop for more than that.

"I knew something was wrong then, so being the stubborn one I am, I pushed out of his arms. Then I saw it. Levi was lying on top of a dead Brittany, barely breathing himself. And that's all I remember before blacking out."

I couldn't do it anymore. Wretched sobs escaped me in harmony. I brought my hands up to my face and I cried.

I cried for so long that I didn't know if I could've stopped. At some point, I felt arms encircle me, but I didn't know when it happened.

I helplessly cried in Leo's arms, unable to hold it in anymore. At one point, I was so tired of crying, that we ended up on a heap on the floor.

And Leo's arms never left me.

After Brittany died, my life took a turn. Those who used to be close to me, suddenly weren't anymore. It was no surprise that I was the first person people asked when hearing about Levi killing Brittany. Some blamed me, some thought I was involved, but worst of all, some thought I knew everything and didn't tell anyone about what was going through Levi's head.

It all made me sick.

To protect myself, I built an armour around myself. An armour so strong that no one could break it.

I built it so I would never get hurt again.

But here I was, crying in Leo's arms over something I promised I would never even think about again. Something I couldn't control now.

Something I couldn't fix now.

Finally, my sobs simmered down. I stopped crying and slumped in the position I was in, still in Leo's arms. My head was resting against his chest, my hands gripping his arms that were around me. His hand was around my stomach, while the other came around my neck to rest on my head. He had been slowly caressing my hair all this time, all the while whispering soothing words in my ear.

It felt comfortable. It felt like I was finally free. But something hurt. Something in my heart felt like it was bursting out of control and I didn't know what it was.

I breathed out deeply, finally realizing that I just told Leo about my past.

Ever so slowly, I pulled myself out of his arms. His arms loosened around me, and I let go of his forearms awkwardly. I realized that his legs were also encircled around me, keeping me in place this whole time. Before things could change for the worst, I got up from my spot, Leo following my movements.

I stood in my spot, anxiously rubbing my arms. I lowered my head in shame, not wanting to meet his gaze.

I didn't want to look at him. I didn't want to hear him talk. I just needed him to be quiet. I didn't want to hear the malice in his voice as he told me to leave his apartment, nor wanted see the disgust in his eyes. I just wanted him to stay silent. To never speak to me again. To never look at me again.

Because I was just the sister of a murderer.

"Amelia?" Leo said after a while.

'Please just let it be over already,' I chanted in my head.

"Moonie?" he quietly said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

A shaky breath escaped my lips hearing the plead in his voice. I squeezed my eyes shut, knowing this will be the last time he calls me that before telling me to leave.

His arms came up to my shoulders and he slowly guided me to turn around. I kept my gaze on the ground, unable to face him yet.

"Hey Moonie," he said, tilting my chin up slightly.

Involuntarily, I looked up to him and saw confusion plastered over his face.

"Is that why you were hiding all this time?" he asked. "Is that why you were so scared to let us in? Because you thought we might not accept you?"

How he managed to summarize it all in a few simple words didn't fool to surprise me.

"Why would you Leo?" I simply asked.

His mouth fell agape at my words, and he closed it, unsure of what to say to this. I let in a shaky breath and looked down in shame.

There was nothing left for me to say. I couldn't agree with him since I didn't want him to think of me as a pitiful girl. On the other hand, I couldn't disagree because he would see right through it. Because sadly, this is exactly what it all came down to.

This was the sole reason why I couldn't let anyone come close to me anymore. Because the closer they got, the more they found out. And the more they found out, the faster they ran away from it all. Instead of facing this rejection from time to time, it was easier to never initiate it in the first place.

Question was, why wasn't Leo running away?

As if he could hear my thoughts, Leo suddenly sighed. I continued looking down, not wanting to look him in the eye.

"Don't let anyone blame you for what your brother did. You weren't liable for his actions."

The matter-of-fact tone of his voice made me snap my head up to him in surprise. His eyes were void of emotion, and the only thing that let me know he even felt anything towards what I just told him, was the slight tension in his jaw, as if he was holding back from saying what he really wanted to.

His words finally registered within me, and once again, I felt the dam try to break free.

Something in his words caused me to snap. It was something I heard over and over again, but never in the way he said it. He sounded irritated, disappointed that I thought of it this way. However, he didn't know half of it.

He didn't understand what I felt.

A shaky breath escaped my lips at his words and silent tears fell down my cheeks. This time, I made no move to wipe them away. I faced Leo head on, my stoic expression the complete opposite of the turmoil I felt inside.

"You don't get it Leo," I said, shaking my head in defeat. "I should've noticed the little changes. I should've noticed what he was leading up to. We were so close Leo. So close."

Before I could continue, Leo took a sudden step forward, making me let out a surprised breath. However, I couldn't break away from his intense gaze.

"Amelia, you can be with someone your entire life and never figure them out. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't your fault."

Again, I faltered at his words.

"But Amelia, to figure you out doesn't even take a second. Because you aren't what your brother is. You are not a bad person."

I shook my head again.

'Why couldn't he see that I wasn't a good person? I wasn't even close.'

"You don't get it Leo. Even after all these years. I feel like we're missing something here. He couldn't... he just couldn't have killed her," I finally said.

Leo's brows furrowed at my words. However, it was like something had taken over me. I couldn't stop talking now that I had started.

"He was never that type of person. To me, he was the best brother I could have ever asked for. Some sick part of me is still in denial, Leo. Some part of me believes that it couldn't have been him. This is the same guy I played basketball with, had movie nights with, had lived with, grew up with. So how can he do this? How could he do this to my best friend? The same girl he desperately tried to please," I blabbered.

I let in a shaky breath, finally voicing out my worst fear.

"And if he did, how could it have passed by me what he was capable of? What does that make me, Leo? Does that make me like him?" I asked.

At any other time, I probably would've felt ashamed with the vulnerability behind my words. However, in that moment, I didn't care. Because for once, someone was listening to my side of the story.

Someone cared enough to listen to me.

For some godforsaken reason, Leo chose this time to give me a slow, lazy smile.

I blinked in surprise, only now noticing our close proximity. He was nearly an inch away from me, his warm breath fanning my cheeks. I shrunk back trying to create some space between us. However, his words stopped me dead in my tracks. He said them slowly, his voice barely above a whisper, which in the silence of his house, sounded louder than anything said between us tonight.

"You're nothing like anything in this world, Moonie. You're you. Absolutely out of this world."