Chapter 4

Emersyn's POV

6 months later…

The moon glistened above the tops of the evergreen trees, almost at her full potential, lighting the courtyard below my open window. I sit perched like a caged bird, longing to be set free, as my mother excitedly chats away about tomorrow’s full moon celebration and the impending visit of my betrothed, Liam Maxwell.

If I was being completely frank, I had never been more depressed over a full moon. Liam was turning eighteen, the same age as Maverick and Callum, and his birthday request was to shift with me on the full moon. My mother thought it was a sweet gesture that showed he wanted to get to know me on the most intimate level, but to me it felt too soon. I have only shifted a hand full of times and am still uncertain of myself, but more than that I am worried Liam will sense that my heart belongs to another.

Callum has given me more than enough reason to give up on him lately. After his parents’ unexpected death, he had moved into the packhouse with our family, but that hadn’t stopped him from avoiding me at all costs. It was as if he couldn’t look me in the face anymore.

“Emersyn, are you listening to me?” My mother says as she taps my shoulder, pulling me from my thoughts.

I jerk my head around towards my mother, wondering if she can sense the thoughts that have been running through my mind. I scramble to remember what I have actually caught of her excited chatter.

“Sure, I am, something about being on my best behavior for Liam’s visit.” I say as I pull my attention back to the room.

My mother’s blue eyes that match mine and Mavericks’ stare back at me suspiciously, “That’s not what I said. Emersyn, this is important. It is an honor to be chosen to be the Luna of a pack.”

“I know, Mother. I do truly.” I know that this is my duty to our pack, my sacrifice.

Her eyes soften as she answers, “Good. I know this isn’t the magical way you hear about meeting your mate, but the moon goddess will smile upon this union, just as she did your father’s and mine.”

“I hope so,” I reply forlornly as I glance back towards the courtyard.

“She will. Liam is lucky to have you chosen for him. I worry your brother will never find his mate,” my mother’s forehead crinkles with a worry line apparent on her beautiful face.

“He is barely eighteen and still a pup at heart,” I counter. “He will find his mate when the time is right.”

She glances out of the corner of her eye as she frowns, “Let’s hope so, but I still wish he would allow us to choose his mate for him.”

I envy Maverick because he is gifted the choice that I am not. Being the Alpha heir entitled him to the choice of his mate, and he is filled with determination to find his fated mate. However, as the daughter of the Alpha, I am required to marry for peace, duty, and honor.

“I think it’s admirable he wants to marry for love.” I say, with a hint of jealousy playing in my tone.

My mother reaches out cupping my face between her hands as she replies, “You will learn to love Liam. Love just takes time to simmer.”

“You make it sound like a slow cooked meal,” I say, half smiling.

“I suppose it kind of is,” she says with an all too knowing look.

I look away from her as I speak barely above a whisper, “I want the kind of love that burns fast and hot.”

“That kind of love scorches, and someone always gets hurt. Give it time, child.” My mother looks worried as she grasps my hands between hers before holding my gaze. “Is there something you aren’t telling me, Emersyn?”

I swallow hard as I reply curtly, “Of course not.”

I rarely made it a habit of lying to my mother, but this was different. This was self-preservation at its finest. I could never tell her the truth. The truth is Callum has my heart. But I could never admit that to her.

Her eyes trail my face as if she knows I am being deceitful, but she doesn’t push. “I am your mother first, Emersyn. If you are having doubts about this arrangement, I understand, but things will all work out in the end the way the moon goddess planned.”

The moon goddess feels like she is an entity that likes to toy with my fate without shame.

“I hope you are right,” I say truthfully.

“A mother knows. I remember my mother telling me the same thing before I met your father,” Her blue eyes glow with joy as she looks off in the distance reminiscing. “Look at us now!”

“You were lucky. What if I am not?” I question with an anxious reserve.

“Liam is a decent young man, give him a chance.” Her blue eyes soften as she pats my hand before gently squeezing it.

“Of course,” I say with my most confident smile.

“Everything will all work out for the best, you’ll see.” She says with an undeniable conviction.

“I hope you’re right,” I answer as I bite my bottom lip nervously.

“I’m always right, just ask your father,” my mother grins. “Get some rest, Emersyn. Tomorrow, things will look different. Tomorrow is the start of a beautiful beginning.”

“Good night mother,” I hug her neck tightly, wishing that I could stay in the safety of her arms for longer.

“Good night, my love.” She kisses me back and smiles before leaving the room.

I walk to the window and begin to pull it shut when I hear the familiar laughter of Maverick and Callum from the courtyard. I pause as I watch Callum smile at my brother before playfully punching him in the arm. My heart aches to see that smile more often, but he obviously needs his space. I force myself to pull the window shut as I toss myself across the four-poster bed, sighing.

I lay there restlessly for hours as I toss in the night, worrying over tomorrow’s debacle. I haven’t seen Liam in many years. I remembered an awkward boy who seemed to love to torment me with the creepy crawly bugs I loathed. We were much younger on his last visit. But tomorrow would be different. He was an Alpha heir, but had agreed to have me chosen for him. In my mind, that meant one of two things, he didn’t believe in fated mates or he just didn’t care. Neither option worked for me.

I roll over, looking at the clock, before deciding to go to the kitchen for something to drink. I quietly leave my room, sneaking down the stairs, avoiding the creak of the second step, hoping not to wake anyone. Just as I thought I had made it to the safety of the kitchen without an issue, I ran face first into a solid wall of muscle.

My eyes grow wide as I realize I am standing face to face with Callum.

“Sorry,” I mutter. “Didn’t see you there.”

He half smiles as he responds, “Well, it would help if you were looking in front of you and not over your shoulder.”

I quietly snicker, “I suppose you are right.”

His green eyes trail my white tank top and pajama shorts as he sucks in a sharp breath of appreciation. I suddenly feel exposed. I nervously hug my arms around myself as a shield.

As if realizing he has gone dangerously silent, he clears his throat. “What are you doing up so late?”

I look away from his piercing gaze, considering lying to him. This is the most he has spoken to me in months. “I couldn’t sleep. Thought some milk and cookies may help. Besides, I could ask you the same thing.”

He looks away from me with a hint of sadness playing in the depths of his emerald eyes as he replies, “I don’t sleep anymore so.”

I feel a pang of sympathy for him as I ask cautiously, “We haven’t talked in a while. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he says it too quickly, trying to hide the truth, but I feel it. “Staying busy helps. I just needed my space.”

I can’t help but to feel the sting of his words. “From me?”

His gaze catches mine as he replies, “From life. I have buried myself in training and finishing school. It’s what they would have wanted.”

“Is it what you want?” I manage to ask with a small voice.

He hesitates before he answers, “What I want, I can’t have. That’s the story of my life.”

I stand there silently gazing into his eyes as I consider all the things that I want to say to him. A part of me wants to be angry with him, but the other side of me feels sorry for him. I couldn’t imagine going through what he was. My parents drive me nuts, but I adore them. Losing both at once was an unimaginable loss that I was thankful I did not fully understand.

“You’re going to be okay, Callum.” I say, looking him in the eyes, reassuring us both. “But you shouldn’t push people away who care about you. Eventually, they take a hint.”

I hear him swallow hard as he allows my words to sink in, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good,” I say, leveling my gaze at him, almost warning him. “Well, I better go to bed. I have a big day tomorrow.”

Callum’s eyes darken with jealousy as he says, “I heard Liam insisted on shifting with you for his birthday.”

“He did,” I say, ignoring the satisfaction that it bothers him as I add coldly. “Apparently, not everyone needs space from me.”

“I deserved that,” he says, clenching his teeth.

“Yeah, you did.” I say, grinning at him before turning to leave.

As I walk away, I hear him whisper, “Hey Em?”

I stop and look over my shoulder at him questioningly, “Yeah?”

“I hope he knows what he has got,” he says, looking me in the eyes with a deep-seated sadness.

I swallow as I reply confidently, “He will, because I won’t let him forget.”

He smiles at me with a grin that made my heart drop as he answers, “I have no doubt.”

I give him a half smile as I whisper, “Good night, Callum.”

“Good night, Emersyn.”

As I walk back to my room, I can’t help but to feel heart wrenching guilt. I meant what I said to him. He couldn’t keep pushing me away and expecting me to just wait for him to notice me. I had to move on from him. I had to let him go. But as I lay my head down and drift off to sleep, the only face that fills my dreams is that of his perfectly chiseled jaw and piercing green eyes.