eight

Cassie

~

Who in the hell does he think he is?

I'm his?

I'm nobody's anything. He doesn't own me. After all these years—I am tired of being claimed by him. After I rushed through the crowd, I hurried outside toward my car. School doesn't end for another three hours, but I can't be anywhere near him right now. I can't be around anyone. I need to be alone.

My dad is home early from work. He is cleaning up the flowerbeds when I pull up into the driveway. When I walk towards him, he looks down at his watch and then back at me.

"Sweetie, school let out early?"

"Something like that," I called out as I took several steps on the front porch. "Don't feel too good."

Mentally ill.

"There should be some leftover soup in the fridge."

His words bring a small smile to my face.

"Thanks Daddy."

I fall onto my bed once I step inside my room and shut the door behind me. Freaking Marcus. My heart races as I was humiliated in the hallway with everyone and their stupid cellphones out. Stupid students. Stupid school.

What's so special about social media anyways?

Tears started to burn my eyes as I witnessed the look on his face. He acted like I hurt him. If anything, he's the one who's been hurting me. This isn't the first time he's lashed out at me, but it is the first time in front of an audience. A much bigger audience. Not some lame birthday party with six people. No, this was twenty students gathered around for a reality show.

A picture of us from a year ago is sitting on my dresser. My dark hair was slightly longer and his was much shorter. We looked so young even though it wasn't that long ago. It's crazy how things can change with just a snap at your fingers. My reflection in the mirror catches my eye. I'm blinking back more tears as I take the wooden frame and throw it away in my trash can. I don't even want to look at him, especially in my room.

My pom poms are resting at the foot of my bed and my uniform is hanging on my closet door. This won't be the end of me seeing him. But I know this is what I need to do. I took a deep breath, grabbed my notes from Mrs. Higgins' class and scattered them across my bed. I can't fail this final. I can't fail my parents and I most definitely can't fail myself.

I see a long, sleepless night in my future.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

My dad noticed something bothering me the next morning as we sat at the kitchen table. It could be the way I picked at my waffle with my fork or how I didn't say a word to either of my parents when I came downstairs.

Just as I back out of my chair to bring my plate to the sink, my father clears his throat. "What is it, honey?" He says with concern.

I swallowed hard and glanced in his direction.

"Marcus..."

He raises an eyebrow. "Did he do something?"

What hasn't he done?

I retell what had happened in the hallway yesterday, but I leave out a few details with him claiming me in front of everyone. I mentioned Luca and how he was jealous and grabbed him by the neck and I had to get in between them. I know I should have told him the entire story, but I really don't feel like bailing my Dad out of jail.

"Jesus, Cassandra. What has gotten into that boy?"

When he uses my full name I feel like a little kid, like I've done something wrong, but I know he's only using it out of concern. You can tell with the look on his scruffy, unshaven face, that he doesn't like seeing me hurt.

He places both elbows on the table while resting his chin in his palms. "You always make the right decisions, whether they are hard to make, you always find a way around them. Don't be so hard on yourself, honey."

Even though I don't feel like it, I show him a small smile with the lump in my throat slowly forming. My dad always makes me feel better. It's like he knows exactly what to say. I reach across the kitchen table and place my hand on top of his.

Mom suddenly enters the kitchen again to clean out one of her vases so she can put in the marigolds dad had picked for her yesterday. She seems more tired than she has in weeks.

I'm afraid things are getting worse.

"How is she?"

Dad sighs before glancing at her, but it doesn't take him long to look back at me. "She's okay. I think we're going to have to admit her soon."

The lump in my throat now starts to burn. I take a much needed sip of my orange juice to soothe the pain, but it only eases up slightly.

I knew this day would come.

All I can do is nod.

"Money has been tight. Since your mother isn't working right now, and I've been taking extra projects at work it doesn't seem to even out. I can barely afford our mortgage."

He's been talking about moving lately. Somewhere close for Mom to be admitted. It's great for her, for all of us actually, but I feel angry sometimes toward her. And I absolutely hate myself for feeling this way. It's not her fault.

"I'm failing my Biology class," I let out hurriedly, wanting it off my chest. "If I don't pass then I don't graduate." My eyes stay glued to the wooden table. I'm too afraid to see the disappointment on his face.

My dad clears his throat. I can feel his eyes staring at me. "Are there extra classes you can take or maybe some tutoring?"

Tutoring?

My eyes look up to find his. I part my lips slowly. "We can't afford that."

I know I won't hear the end of this, but mom needs to be taken care of... not me.

"Cassie—

"I need to get to school," I quickly mumble to change the subject.

As I walk around the table to grab my bag and purse I say, "I have practice again after school, so I'll be home after seven."

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