thirty two

Luca

~

I woke up to the fresh smell of bacon and coffee. It's been a long time since I've actually smelled espresso, much less in my house. My legs stretch through the warm plush covers that are rambled between my feet and I instantly yawn like I've gotten at least eight hours' worth of sleep. Yep, definitely eight hours as I'm seeing nine a.m. in bold letters on my alarm clock.

I haven't slept in or slept for eight solid hours since my parents were alive.

I start to gag once I notice the trash can sitting on the floor. My hand rubs the back of my neck while I try to comfort myself from feeling like absolute death.

This is why I don't drink.

Marcus can call me a pussy all he wants, and when it comes to drinking—well, I guess I am a pussy. Still, at least I'm not a dick.

After cleaning up my disgusting appearance and brushing away the vomit on my tongue, I make my way through the hall to follow the amazing smell.

Once I step foot in the kitchen, I spot Cassie flipping the bacon while my grandma fixes herself a cup of coffee.

"It's been years since I've had caffeine," she takes a small sip from her cup. "I don't know why it took me this long to try coffee."

"You've never tried it before?" Cassie's mouth widens.

"Of course, I have dear, but I never was a fan. Until now. I didn't know you could buy flavored coffee." My Grandma giggles as she takes a seat at the kitchen table.

"My life would be empty if there was no pecan praline coffee in it."

Cassie notices me standing off in the corner as she puts a piece of bacon on her plate.

"Luca, good morning." She smiles really big, showing off her perfect teeth.

"Hi," I say, walking over to the counter. "I could use some coffee too."

"Help yourself."

"You bought this?"

She nods. "I can't live without my caffeine."

"And you stayed?"

"I told you I would."

A smile creeps on my face as I shake my head and pour myself a full cup.

With my eggs and bacon completely gone, I get dressed and bring Cassie home. I didn't want to. I wanted her to stay longer, but she needed to check on her mom. Anderson came into my bedroom before we left and apologized again for last night. I can't be upset with him forever and I knew this deal between us wouldn't stay a secret indefinitely, but her being mine for just a small amount of time felt too real to me.

I wanted this between us and only us.

I'm glad I got to see the true side of Marcus though, it was bound to happen. Anderson was right.

He's always right.

"You need to tell her how you feel," he says before stepping out of my room.

"I can't." I call out, making him slowly turn around.

He walks back in whispering as Cassie is sitting in the living room waiting. "Why?"

I quickly shake my head. "Rejection, maybe? I mean, what if she doesn't feel the same? Then all of this was for nothing."

"You knew what you were getting yourself into once you opened your mouth."

"I hate it when you're right."

He smirked. "Always am."

As I start my truck to bring her home, I daydream a little about Prom tonight. Is it as amazing as everyone has talked about? Will it be a night that I will always remember? Cassie starts to play a playlist from her phone that is synced with my Bluetooth.

She finds the song Pain by Three Days Grace and smiles as the music consumes her thoughts. I smiled as I watched her lean back and hum to the beat and drum her fingers on her thighs. If I keep staring this long, I'm going to run us off the road.

"What happened?" Cassie eventually says before turning the volume down as we pull up into her driveway.

I put my truck in park to look over at her. "What?"

"At the party last night."

"Which part?"

"All of it," she sighs, "I know you got into a fight with Marcus. It's all over Facebook."

I take a deep breath, rubbing my temple to soothe the migraine I am beginning to get. "Another reason why I hate social media."

"Luca..." she begs.

I go into details about finding him in the basement which was full of alcohol and marijuana. I then explained to her that Marcus and Reagan were both smoking and then asked me to join them. As I was leaving, he said something about our little deal and, even though it was awkward, I told her about him saying she would never go out with a loser like me.

She bites the inside of her lip, not responding to my reference toward her.

I didn't say anything else about it, but I did say how he made an inappropriate comment about the two of them sleeping together, which pissed me off and that's when the fight happened.

"He said that?" She shakes her head. "First thing you should know about him is that he's a compulsive liar. Always has been and always will be."

I nod, quickly opening my mouth to tell her more when she speaks for me.

"We never had sex. Not that it's any of your business, no offense."

"You're right, it isn't—"

"I'm a virgin."

Not that it's a bad thing, it really isn't. I was just lost for words and didn't really know what to say to that.

Great?

It's no big deal.

Or do I say—well, that makes two of us?

"That's not a bad thing." I managed to say.

She huffs. "Everyone dreams of what their first time will be like, saving it for the right person. Sounds cliche I know—"

"No, it's not," I interrupt. "I think it's a very special thing."

She looks up from fiddling her thumbs. "Did you have a special person?"

Uhm.

I suddenly take off my beanie to wipe the sweat that's starting to build around my forehead. By this time her mom steps outside waving to get our attention. Cassie rolls the window down telling her mom she will be right there.

"Honey, we need to start your hair and makeup. See you later, Luca." She smiles, before watering her magnolia bushes.

I'm not going to lie, I was a little nervous seeing her mom again, so when she stepped outside, I almost gripped the steering wheel in case I needed to drive off again. Cassie glances back at me with determined eyes.

"This conversation isn't over."

And with that, she steps out the truck and walks to her house.

And I'm left alone with my thoughts on the drive back home, thinking more about how I'm going to get out of this one. Then I start to think about how she didn't say Marcus was special in that way, which brought a weird smile to my face. But I don't want to think of the two of them like that anymore.

As I open the door to my house, I greet my grandma in the living room.

"If she's going to have coffee over, please let her stay more often." She smiles, tucking the gray hair behind her ear.

I take a seat on the couch beside her. "I don't know."

"Is everything okay?"

Instead of keeping this secret in, since everyone is going to find out, I spill the details to her. I need someone to talk to and tell her everything.

"Honey, I'm not surprised you didn't tell me the truth. You're a teenager. But what I will say is you need to listen to Anderson and tell her how you really feel. What happens when Prom is over, and she passes Mrs. Higgins class?"

I sulk on the couch and quickly shook my head. "I guess I didn't think about that."

Of course, I did. I just didn't want to admit it.

"Well, you need to think quickly, dear."

I hate to be rushed.

But she's right.

Everyone is freaking right.

"Okay."

"You'll tell her, tonight?"

I swallowed hard. "What? Tonight?"

She takes off her glasses from reading the paper. "Of course, tonight, it's the perfect time." Am I ready to tell her tonight? On Prom night?

I feel last night's vomit creeping up my throat.

"Okay. I will tonight."

An accomplished smile spreads across her porcelain face. "You remind me so much of your dad."

I look up slowly, meeting her gaze.

"Same brown eyes and dark hair. Same personality. Everything. Even the same look when I knew he was in love."

My eyes widened.

I quickly forget how to speak.

"W-what?"

Her head tilts as if saying 'come on now'.

"Isn't it obvious, dear?"

"I uh, I need to get ready." I swallow back the vomit and quickly walk back to my bedroom.

In love?

Sure, I really like Cassie, always have liked her, but in love?

I care about her a lot. Would do anything for her. If she needed me to pick her up right now I would do it. If she needed a shoulder to cry on again, I'd give her mine. I never want to let her hand go when we break apart at school. I never want to not sit by her at the lunch table. I never want to sleep alone ever again.

Shit.

I do love her.

I love her in a way that I can't describe. It's a feeling that I have no control over. Hell, I didn't realize I even loved her until now.

I'm scared.

I sit down on the bed as I ramble through my thoughts.

Putting all the pieces together.

I'm scared.

Shit.

There's no way she could love me back.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Anderson didn't stay long after he got dressed. He wore a navy-blue tux and combed his dirty blonde hair to one side. A silver tie is resting under his neck, face is freshly shaved, and before he left the house, he bathed himself in men's happy cologne. I almost choked from the fumes. Cassie wants to match, so I put on my black tux, with a white buttoned-down shirt and a shimmery gold tie.

My grandma was able to trim my hair for me and give me a fresh fade cut. It was still pretty thick on top, but she made the sides shorter. A few knocks on the door let me know that she's here. I take a deep breath before opening the front door, welcoming Cassie and her parents.

She told me her mom wanted to take pictures of us and then they will be on their way.

She also told me to not worry about her health, because she started taking her medication correctly this time. I texted her back letting her know not to worry. Sometimes I feel like she's embarrassed of her mother's behavior, which I could understand, but I would never judge her.

She shouldn't feel ashamed in front of me.

Once my hand turns the knob, I am starstruck the minute my eyes land on hers. She is wearing a short gold dress with sequins flashing all around, even her shoes are sparkly as well. Spaghetti straps rest upon her ivory skin and her curly brown hair is falling on her shoulders, just the way I like.

"You—"

I start to say but can't seem to find the words.

"You look beautiful, Cassie."

She smiles, making her parents smile as well.

"Thank you, Luca, you look very handsome."

"You really do." Her mom also mentions.

"Thank you."

My grandma almost knocks me down as she throws her arms around Cassie. "You look gorgeous honey," she pinches her cheeks.

"It's so nice to meet you two." Her parents bring her into a hug also before walking out back to take a few pictures. We stand near my grandma's rose bushes in the backyard. When she pressed her back into my chest, I was instantly hit with her perfume.

Even with the aroma from the roses I can still smell her vanilla scent. My shaky hands wrap around her stomach to bring her closer to me. We both smile at her mom before she takes several pictures.

"You two look so lovely," she beams and my grandma nods in return.

"You really do, Luca... straighten your head just a little... perfect."

I groan at my grandma and Cassie giggles.

"Oh, I almost forgot."

Mr. Harlow walks to their car and he returns with a polaroid camera.

"Cassie, I know how much you love polaroids. I thought the two of you would love a picture together on film."

She took the light pink camera from him and smiled. "Thanks, Dad."

"Smile..."

Cassie stands up with her tip toes toward my face. I lean in closer to her and give her the biggest "cheese" of my life. She laughs before sticking out her tongue. We wait a few seconds before our faces are staring back at us.

"I'm keeping this one," she orders, and I don't even argue. The fact that she wants to keep it is enough for me.

"Bring her home by ten," Mr. Harlow says as we walk toward our vehicles. "And have fun."

"Yes sir."

Shortly after they leave, Grandma nearly starts to cry.

"Oh God..."

Cassie swats my arm. "Go see if she's okay."

As she fixes her corsage that my grandma made for her, I stride near her by the front door. She tries to turn away, so I won't see.

"What's wrong?"

Her posture changes when I approach. "What? I'm fine honey."

I give her a look so she will know that I'm not falling for it.

She sighs before leaning her head against my chest. "I just wish your parents were here to see you. You look so grown up."

I lay my head beside hers. "Me too."

As we tell Grandma goodbye, I open the passenger door for Cassie. She jumps inside before I walk around to the driver's seat. She instantly starts to play with the Bluetooth and manages to find the perfect song for the ride.

The Suburbs.

As we turn into the school parking lot, I feel like I'm going to end up in a wreck by staring at her so much. It should be illegal being this attractive.

The distraction is eating me alive.

• • •

Don't forget to vote and comment. ❤️