Chapter 40

“Tell us what you saw in your dreams,” Amaria asked us, she looked between me and her son and I nodded to Grayson to tell her.

“Annette was calling for me. I ran through the forest to find her. When I came to a clearing she was tied to a log and lit on fire. I ran into the flames to reach her and when I touched her she turned to ash. In her place was a small gray pup,” He told his dream to the elders. I saw the fear in his eyes.

“In mine, I was laying in Grayson’s arms and then he started laughing at me. When I reached for him I was pushed away. Grayson defended me from whoever attacked me. When he grabbed me I felt like I was melting, my whole body was just undoing itself in heat,” I explained.

“There was no pup in your dream?” Elder Benson asked me. He was Matt’s father.

“No, there wasn’t,” I replied. The image of the litter of pups from the night before our binding came to me. I didn’t say a word.

“It sounds as though you will go through your heat soon, the latest will be three months time,” Elder Belle told us. “Only one of you saw a pup which is the most common, this means you only have a chance for an heir.

“And if we had both dreamed of a pup?” I asked without thinking.

“Then it would be almost certain a pup would come from this heat. You’re an alpha female Luna, you have more power than any other female wolf. This means it takes magic to make a child in you, the best time for you to conceive an heir is during your heat or a ritual mating in the moon pool.”

I was only just starting to connect with Grayson. The thought that we may have a child between us was a hard and solid thought to work through. I didn’t see how it could make any of this easier. I need Grayson and I to work on our relationship now, it has to be solid enough for a child.

“Anna?” Amaria cocked her head. “Have you had any other dreams?”

“No,” I almost snapped. “No, I have not, I am just processing this news.”

“We have duties Grayson, I have my border patrol today,” I stood up still wallowing in the anxiety of a child.

“Annette?”

I know he called for me but I put up a wall. I needed my mind to myself. I need to think this through for myself before I even consider talking to him about it. I know I shouldn’t keep this all to myself, still he was weary with me. How could I tell him?

I walked out to the border consumed in the chaos of a life with a baby. I have always wanted to be a mother, I would love a child and I know Grayson would give his all as a father. Still, we were not ready, we hadn’t even kissed, how could we conceive a child?

I was out with Charlotte and Lean today. They would walk me around the northern border patrol and teach me the signals for intruder, convoy, trade, attack, and hunt. I need to know this but to be honest I had no room for it. It went by in a haze of colors, sounds, sirens, defenses, and other things I should really know.

“Luna? Are you alright?”

“I need to talk to you.”

“I’ve been trying to talk to you all day.”

“I’m fine Charlotte I have to go speak to Grayson.” I willed down the wall of the battlement.

He kept this place so well guarded, he was possessive of me, protective. Still, I felt like there was an ocean we had to traverse before we got to the idea of a family. I walked to where I knew he was. He and I had this force connecting us, magnets, or string, some chain pulling me to him whenever I wanted.

He was outside the training house waiting for me.

“What is wrong?” He walked up to me, arms crossed, brows knit together. His voice sounded stern but I felt the desire to help beneath his growl.

“I’ve been worried about us. The elders said there is a chance we may have a child and I don’t want to bring a baby into our lives when we are still so apart,” I pulled him to the side, confiding in him.

He blew out a long breath. “Let’s go home.”

He grabbed my hand and walked me to our house in total silence. I had no idea what he thought to do to make this better. He sat me down on the couch. “I know that I have issues talking to you. I know that being affectionate isn’t something I want to do openly, but no matter what I have faith that we can survive anything.”

“Yes, but if we have a child it’s not just us, we have to show this whole little life how to grow, talk, work, walk, and love. We show them how to love Grayson. How do we do that when we are not able to…” I trailed off, moving my body close to him to demonstrate my point. I saw the shock and temptation in him.

“You know I want to,” He huffed, looking me up and down, his face flushing slightly. “But I don’t want to skip many steps. I want to get to know each other before…”

“Then get to know me,” I grabbed his hands in desperation.

“I can see into your head Annette, I can know everything if I want to but there are things I need to learn through time.” He shook his head.

“I love romance novels, my favorite color is green, I’ll eat a bucket of ice cream if no one is looking and I find some of the strongest joy in helping others,” I started. “Those are things you should know about me, what should I know about you?”

He sat and looked me in the eyes in silence. I was wild for him to answer me and couldn’t see what he was thinking about. Suddenly he stood and paced, running his hands through his hair.

“Grayson, what’s wrong?” I sat up on my knees still staying on the couch scared he would run from me.

He looked at me then nodded and walked to the kitchen pouring himself a drink and downing it.

“I think it’s time I tell you about my father,” He placed his hands on the counter, gripping it.

“Grayson, I—” No words came to mind in my stunned state. “You do not have to do that,” I shook my head.

“No, you are my wife and, and I think that…now is, now is the right time,” He poured another drink and came back to sit beside me.

“My father only ever wanted to be the best,” He started, not looking at me, eyeing the drink in front of him instead. “He told me every day, ‘You’re nothing in this life if you don’t make something of yourself.’ Wolves have a hard time since we’re confined to our packs.”

“My father, he didn’t like the fact that we were a small pack… didn’t like being confined by the honor wolves have. He liked getting ahead.” He leaned back, his knuckles gripping white.

“He married my mother, well he won her for power. She is the most humble, kind, selfless person you will ever meet. They did not care for each other at all… He still slept with her until she got pregnant with me,” His knuckles popped as he gave another tight squeeze to his fists.

“As for me, I was… I just wanted to be near him, he would always send me away, tell me how bothersome I was, I was always in his way, he always shouted at me. I worked so hard to please him but he constantly told my mother and me how worthless life as a wolf was if we couldn’t use our strength to get ahead.” His eyes looked so dark and I felt Enzo circling in his mind tense and frenzied.

“I have always been very physically strong, so I got my wolf when I was eight… When he saw me, he told me that he was ashamed I was as happy as I was,” He laughed a little.

“There used to be humans around here, but my father bullied them for their land threatening them. He drilled in every crevice in hopes of oil, metal, anything he could make money off of. All of it, all of it was for money,” Grayson shook his head at the memories.

“He managed the pack on his own, all of the money he looked after. No beta, gamma, or delta knew how much we had or where it was stored, only my father did… When I was 10, my mother found out he had murdered a human for his land. She threatened to report him. My father became physical with her. I still remember his hand…”

“Then, taking all the pack’s money, my father was gone,” He grabbed his drink and downed it.

“He looked at me and said all life would ever do was show me how pathetic I was and that no one will ever love a man without ambition.” He finished.

“You were ten,” I cried.

Grayson whipped his head up to see the tears brimming in my eyes. “What?”

“You are a good man,” I told him, scooching closer to him. “You’re a good man. You built all of this Grayson, you are so dependable, and strong, levelheaded… yes, you are not as emotionally equipped as others but that is why you have me.” I finished, leaning into his lap.

This big strong man who was ever-changing in my eyes actually looked as though he would cry. “I don’t need to hear that, I mean it’s nice to hear,” He brushed his fingers down my cheek, “Especially from you, but I will live my life always feeling like I have to prove him wrong.”

I slowly brought my face closer to his, wondering if he would stop me. He held the back of my head as our lips met in a gentle kiss. I felt his warmth and strength, and for a moment, all my worries faded away.

We pulled apart, and he rested his forehead against mine. “We’ll be okay,” he whispered. “We have to believe that.”

I nodded, feeling a sense of hope and determination. “We’ll get through this together, Grayson. We have to.”

He smiled softly, wiping the remaining tears from my cheeks. “Thank you for believing in me, Annette.”

“I always will,” I replied, holding his hand tightly. “No matter what.”

The door creaked open slightly, and Charlotte peeked in. “Luna, the patrol is ready for your inspection.”

I took a deep breath and stood up. “Duty calls,” I said, giving Grayson one last reassuring smile.

He stood up as well, pulling me into a tight hug. “Go on, show them what a strong Luna you are.”

With a newfound resolve, I left the room and joined Charlotte and Lean. The northern border patrol awaited, and I was ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead. For my pack, for Grayson, and for the future we were building together.