Sad but True

EMMA

I’m jolted awake by a persistent knocking at the front door. The noise grows louder with each rap. What the hell? Isn’t it still early?

I try to check the time, but I’m pinned down by a sleeping body. The events of last night come rushing back. Dean and I had sex, and he’s still here, sleeping like a baby, practically on top of me.

Shit, what did I do? I attempt to slip out from under him without waking him, but he’s got me trapped. I have no choice but to rouse him.

“Dean, Dean, wake up. Someone’s at the door,” I say, nudging his shoulder.

“Morning, love. Sleep well?” His voice is thick with sleep.

“Yeah, but someone’s at the door. They’re about to knock it down if we don’t answer. So, get off me and open the damn door.”

“I’ll be there in a minute.” He looks a bit puzzled by my sharp tone, but he pulls on his boxers and shorts, shooting me a “we’ll talk later” look.

I glance at the clock as I climb out of bed. It’s already past eleven. That means it must be Levi at the door.

Damn. We overslept. I don’t have time to process last night’s events or consider the fallout.

I rush to my room, shower, and pull on black skinny jeans, a black crop top, and black Converse. I’ve developed a liking for the color black, it seems.

~Just like Diablo’s heart. How fitting,~ I muse, towel-drying my hair and letting it fall naturally down my back.

When I enter the living room, Dean and Levi are deep in conversation about Stephanie and the happenings in California since Levi left. They both stop and turn to me as I walk in.

My heart skips a beat when I see Dean. He’s still shirtless, looking incredible. Memories of last night flood my mind.

We need to talk, to clear the air, but now isn’t the time. I need space to sort out my own thoughts first.

I decide to act as if nothing happened.

“Morning, Levi. Safe trip?”

“As good as it could be, ma’am.”

“Cut the crap, Levi. What’s with the ‘ma’am’? I never told you to call me that. It’s Emma, and it’s going to stay that way, got it?”

“Got it.”

“Got what, Levi?”

“Got it, Emma.”

I turn to Dean.

“Would you mind giving Levi and me some space to work? I need to catch up on what happened in New York.”

“Can we talk later—maybe over dinner? How does that sound?” I ask, hoping he’ll let things slide for now.

Dean walks away, muttering to himself. I catch the tail end of something that sounds like “Fine.”

Levi gives me a knowing look, which I choose to ignore.

“I just need to grab my laptop. Head to the dining room. I’ll be right there.”

I return, laptop in hand, just as Dean strolls through in black denim and a black shirt. The apartment seems to be cloaked in a black mood today.

He continues to mutter to himself as he makes coffee for us. Levi and I both thank him and get to work. Levi’s been busy gathering information for me.

He’s even pulled up a live video feed of Diablo’s office on my laptop, along with footage from other cameras he installed throughout the club.

In my absence, Diablo promoted Travis to club manager and replaced him with a new guy. Levi hands me his file.

Something about this new employee doesn’t sit right with me.

When I log into the cameras, I see him behind the bar taking inventory. His file says he’s from New York, twenty-three, and his only job experience is bartending.

On paper, he seems perfect for the club...but something feels off. I look at the club’s financial records that Levi managed to pull from Diablo’s laptop.

Something is definitely wrong. Money’s missing, and I’m going to find out who took it. That’s why Diablo hired me, after all.

We work for a few more hours, neither of us noticing that Dean has left. I order pizza for us and grab a bottle of whiskey from the kitchen. Dean must have cleaned up last night’s mess while we were working.

I get two glasses and plates. When the pizza arrives, we continue working and sipping whiskey. When we finally stop, I see we’ve finished the entire bottle. I stretch and look at Levi.

“Levi, you did good. Thanks for all the info. Now I have something to work from. I’ll put together a plan of action for the other nine clubs we need to visit this week.

“We also have meetings with some Mafia bosses. I need to introduce myself, and I want them to sign contracts with us.

“I’ve also set up meetings with a few other bosses we’re not currently aligned with. I want their business and loyalty. We’ve got a busy week ahead.”

Levi doesn’t even blink. He actually looks excited to get started. I glance at the clock and see it’s already past seven. We’ve been working for over eight hours.

Where’s Dean? I check my phone. No missed calls or messages.

I decide to call him to find out where he is so we can go to dinner—a dinner I’m dreading but agreed to this morning.

I dial his number and hear his phone ringing in the apartment. I leave Levi to go find Dean. His phone is in the kitchen, but he’s nowhere to be found. Then I remember the rooftop.

I dismiss Levi for the evening, arranging to leave the next day on our trip.

I have to say goodbye to Dean tonight. It’s our last night together.

I slowly make my way to the roof, dreading the conversation I know we’re going to have.

When I finally reach the top, I see fairy lights everywhere and Dean standing on the edge, gazing at the city lights, lost in thought and completely unaware of my presence.

I clear my throat, announcing my presence. When Dean spins around, I see the hurt in his eyes, veiled by love. He already knows what I’m about to do.

“Dean, I…”

“Don’t, Ems. I know what you’re going to say. ‘It was one night, what about Diablo, your work, you have to go back.’ I don’t want to hear it, Emma. I can’t handle it.

“I’m in love with you. I won’t let you tarnish the memories of last night or downplay what happened. What we shared was magical.

“I know it’s wrong because you cheated on Diablo, but he’s already cheating on you with Lauren. Please rethink this whole plan of yours and be with me.

“I know you feel the same way I do. Please think about it. Don’t answer me tonight. Sleep on it and we can talk tomorrow.”

His eyes are pleading, filled with love for me. My heart is breaking because I can’t be his.

“Dean, let me speak. I’m in love with you too. This is torture for me. I don’t want to break your heart. I can handle my own heartbreak—I can deal with that—but not causing yours.

“Sadly, it’s inevitable and us being together isn’t in the cards. I have no regrets about last night. It was phenomenal. If I had a choice, I’d do it again and not change a thing.

“But, I have to finish what I started. You know that. You know me, the real me. I’ve never let anyone else see her except you.

“I’ve never let anyone get as close to me as you because I know you’d never intentionally hurt me.

“I know I’m going to regret my decision, but I need to go through with this assignment and contract I have with Diablo.”

“When and if there’s ever a time like ours, and we’re both single, and the love we have for each other now is still there, then I’ll gladly be everything you need.”

“I never meant to hurt you. You’re my best friend and confidant, someone I never want to lose. I’ll always want you to be a part of my life. But I can’t be yours.”

We’re locked in a gaze, knowing that we both love each other, but my stubbornness and ambition are blocking our potential happiness.

I see the hurt in his eyes. His sadness and his pure, unconditional love for me make my heart constrict.

“I never meant to hurt you, Dean. Please forgive me, but don’t forget me.”

“Love, I have and always will love you. It just hurts like fuck knowing why you’re leaving me. You’re leaving not because we don’t work, but because you’re chasing a career, a career I don’t approve of.”

“I’ll give you the space and time you need. I promise that I’ll always love you, but I can’t promise to wait for you.”

“I don’t expect you to wait for me, Dean. All I’m asking is to treasure what we had the same way I will.” I step closer to him, closing the gap between us.

I stand on my toes and give him a long, lingering, passionate kiss. I know deep down I’m saying goodbye to him. He kisses me back with the same passion. I feel goodbye in the intensity of his mouth on mine.

I step back from our embrace and look into his eyes one last time.

“Goodbye, Dean. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. Please remember that I’ll always love you.”

With that, and before he can respond, I turn away from him before he can see the tears rolling down my cheeks. This is goodbye, for now. It hurts like hell but it has to be done.

I head to my room and start packing, dinner with Dean long forgotten. Levi and I have an early flight the next day.

I don’t plan on seeing Dean in the morning, especially not the hurt in his eyes when I have to leave. I plan to leave before he wakes up. I just hope my decision to do so will make things easier for both of us.

Why does love hurt so much? The better question is, why am I leaving a man who loves and adores me for a man who cheats on me, disrespects me, and is clearly just using me for his own selfish needs?

***

This past week was hectic, filled with meeting after meeting, including visits to all of the current clubs owned by Diablo. Levi was with me every step of the way and has proved to be invaluable.

He knew what I needed when I needed it. He also kept quiet about the fact that we snuck out of Dean’s apartment without saying goodbye.

I received quite a few messages from Dean, which I only responded to tersely. I have to cut him off from this world and from my heart. Otherwise, I might give in and go back to him.

Diablo is right in thinking the managers are stealing from the clubs, and in alarmingly high amounts. I’ve already compiled a plan of action to put a stop to this.

I also managed to form alliances with three new Mafia bosses, which in itself is a huge accomplishment, especially because I’m a woman. These men don’t usually deal with women.

Levi only had to step in once when I had to face ten bodyguards. That was when I met with Salingo, one of the Mafia bosses.

He demanded proof that I’m capable of delivering on my promise, that I can handle his business and protect him when needed.

Things got a little ugly when his men pulled their guns. Levi helped me disarm them and prove that I’m not weak.

Instead, I earned Salingo’s respect when I single-handedly took down seven of his best guys.

The fact that Levi and I are on a plane heading back to New York without Diablo knowing is both exhilarating and daunting.

I can’t shake the memories of the night I spent with Dean. Deep down, I want to cherish that night, but at the same time, I know I have to let him go. Otherwise, I won’t be able to move forward.

I plan to make a surprise appearance at the club tomorrow night, the new me. I intentionally misled Diablo with each phone call, dodging his questions about when I’m coming back.

I want to catch him off guard. I just hope he didn’t put a trace on me. If there’s anything these last few days have taught me, it’s that the element of surprise goes a long way, especially with the Mafia—and hopefully with Diablo.

Levi and I have nailed down our game plan for my big comeback. For the first time this week, I’m letting him catch some z’s on the flight.

But the nagging question still lingers: what’s waiting for me when I get back? That’s the final thought that crosses my mind before I too surrender to a dreamless slumber.