Emperor of Rage: Chapter 40

For the last three days, I’ve been hiding, hoping that if I avoid the world long enough, it’ll forget I exist. Mal certainly has. He’s disappeared: no messages, no calls, nothing—like he melted into the ether after our blow-up, leaving nothing but empty space where he used to be.

Even if it hurts, I know that was what I had to do.

Cut ties. Walk away. Forget.

I’ve done it a million times before for a million different reasons. Why should this time be any different?

Because the times before didn’t involve leaving the man you might just love.

I grit my teeth, refusing to allow that thought any purchase in my head. I will not think that word about someone who could stab me in the back like that. Who would carve their way into my heart as a means to an end.

Who would use me like that, so easily, without any remorse.

“So… You’re really going back tomorrow?”

I pull myself from my misery long enough to glance over and nod glumly at Annika. Her master suite in the main house has become my safe haven for the last three days. Which, yes, means I’ve essentially kicked Kenzo out of his own bed.

I do feel kind of awful about that, even if Annika’s told me a hundred times that he’s a big boy and can sleep on the couch, or in any of the four guest rooms in their palatial home.

But I know she’s just saying that to make me feel better and to try and lighten the mood for my moody, heartbroken ass. She’s my ride-or-die like that.

She’s also been the only one who leaves the room—to get us food and snacks, drinks, clean towels, that sort of thing. I mean, I know when she comes back with her hair a mess and bruises all over her neck two hours after going out for “seltzer” that she’s probably doing a bit more than getting a drink—and it probably involves Kenzo and one of those guest rooms.

But she always comes back to me.

The two of us been holed up in here for days now. The outside world has gone quiet for me, and she’s been my steady companion, not complaining once. But it can’t go on like this.

I sit cross-legged on the bed, picking at the quilt, while Annika lounges next to me, half-watching a ridiculous Japanese game show. She slides her eyes toward me and nudges me with her elbow.

“You don’t have to leave, you know.”

I stares down at the comforter dully. “I can’t stay here. I’m drowning, Anni.”

She sighs, folding her arms under her head as she stares at the ceiling. “I get it, Frey. But, goddammit, it’s gonna suck without you around.”

I roll my eyes, snorting. “You used to be a lot better at bullshitting, you know.”

She sighs. “I did, didn’t I?”

I giggle and smile wryly, turning to her. “I’m gonna miss you,” I mumble, my voice cracking. “But I need to clear my head. This whole thing with…asshole…” I grunt my new name for him. “I can’t get past it.”

The dossier I found on Mal’s computer has been the subject of many long, late-night conversations between Annika and me.

“I still can’t believe it,” she mutters, shaking her head. “Whatever it was, it wasn’t sanctioned by Kenzo.”

“Oh, now, did you confirm that with him on your way back from the kitchen with snacks for us before or after he fucked you into the floor in the second-floor guest room?”

Annika’s face turns bright red. “Hey, I brought the snacks…”

“As long as you two didn’t use them.”

She makes a face. “Eww?” She shivers and then shakes it off before she gives me a much more serious look. “I did, though. Confirm with Kenzo, that is. Whatever that shit was on Mal’s computer, that is nothing Kenzo ordered or even knew about. The Mori-kai and the Nikolayev Bratva are allies now. No one on Kenzo’s end of things has any interest in digging into whatever weird shit Mal was trying to pin onto Kir. Or you, for that matter.”

“Not entirely no one,” I mutter.

Annika looks away, shaking her head. “I just don’t get it. I mean, I know Mal⁠—”

“Asshole,” I correct. “The name we’ve agreed to use going forward is asshole.”

“Right. Sorry. But I know asshole,” she sighs. “Not as well as you, obviously⁠—”

“Lucky you.”

She smiles wryly. “But well enough that this seems really off for him. It’s not on brand at all. Neither is disappearing this long without a trace. A day? Yeah. Mayyybe even two, but that’s pushing it. Three going on four days is weird for him. So is compiling crazy conspiracy theory dossiers on people he lov⁠—”

She snaps her mouth shut.

“On…people. Allies and family and stuff.”

I frown, looking back up at the ceiling. “Is it, though? I mean, he’s always been secretive. And he’s got demons from his past, Annika. Big ones.”

“Well, duh, obviously. But no one knows the specifics. I don’t even think Kenzo does.”

I say nothing. She frowns and turns toward me.

“Wait, why does that silence sound like you do.”

I lift my shoulders. “They’re…pretty huge demons,” I say quietly.

Annika sits up. “He really told you about his past?”

I nod glumly.

“Wow.” Annika’s brows arch. “That’s…not something he does. At least, according to Kenzo.” She shakes her head. “That’s what makes this even weirder to me. He told you all of that, which he tells nobody, but then he’s also using you to get to Kir? It doesn’t check out. I’m genuinely confused by it.”

“Yeah, well, you and me both,” I mutter, pulling my knees to my chest. “But it is what it is,” I say bitterly. “I was just a way for Mal to get closer to Kir.”

Annika shakes her head. “I’m just still saying. This doesn’t add up.”

I let out a long sigh. “I don’t know what to believe anymore. But I know I can’t be here right now.”

Annika gives me a sad smile, reaching over to squeeze my hand. “I hate that you’re leaving, but I get it. You need to clear your head, and Kyoto’s not exactly the place for it.”

I sigh. “Nope. And, yeah, sorry about kicking your husband out.” I smile at her. “Thanks for letting me crash here and steal you and your bed from him.”

“Ride or die, bitch,” she winks at me. “You know you’re always welcome in my bed. I mean, metaphorically speaking.”

I laugh, rolling my eyes, and the knot in my chest loosens just a little. “I’ll miss this. Us.”

Annika shrugs, trying to be nonchalant, but I can see the emotion in her eyes. “You better call me every day, okay?”

“I will,” I promise.

I’ve spent a few days pushing aside the guilt of keeping Annika from Kenzo. But once it’s out there, it’s impossible not to think what a bummer it is that I’m continuing to do it. So I venture out to find them and announce that I’m spending the night in some other room in the house, and that Kenzo is welcome to bed his bride in his own room again.

Annika groans and hides her blushing face in her hands.

Kenzo fist-pumps the air and gives me a really huge hug.

I find Hana in her usual spot in the library, looking her usual ridiculously put-together self: silvery bleach-blonde hair utterly straight and perfect, her usual go-to monochrome, dark futuristic aesthetic totally on point.

She glances up when I walk in, and from the look on her face, I’m guess she knows all about what’s been going on. She neatly shuts her laptop and steeples her hands on the desk, tilting her head to the side as she studies me.

“You,” she finally says, “look like you need a drink.”

I grin. “Desperately.”

She smiles. “Let’s hit Kiyamachi Street.”

Kyoto isn’t exactly known for its wild and crazy nightlife. Osaka, just over an hour away, is where you’d go for that. But if you do want to stay in Kyoto for your night out, you can still have a great time. And Kiyamachi Street is the place to go.

“Which of your brother’s guards should we ask to drive us? They all dislike me equally, so, dealer’s choice.”

Hana snickers. “Kenzo’s guys don’t like anyone. Screw ’em. Besides, I have a way more fun idea.”

Hana’s “way more fun idea” turns out to be grabbing two of Takeshi’s bikes from the garage to get into town. Hana’s go-to ride is still a wreck from the crash that day Annika was taken. But Tak has a whole stable of barely or not-even street legal bikes for us to choose from, after promising him we won’t fuck them up.

I’m grabbing a helmet from the shelf on the wall of the garage when my phone dings and a new message pops up.

Cain

Hey girl! Guess where I am?! Kyoto! Just got in for some work. We should meet up while I’m here!

I blink at my screen, grinning in surprise.

Me

That’s crazy! I’d love to meet up, but I’m leaving tomorrow!

Cain

Oh no! That’s too bad. Could we do tonight? I’m working until late, but you did say you keep late hours. Let me know?

I grin. I know I won’t be out that late with Hana. She’s got work in the morning, and that girl keeps to her schedule like she’s a one-woman military operation. She goes to bed at a normal, regular time, gets her eight hours, and wakes up ready to grab the day by the balls.

Yeah, I have a major envy-crush on that chick.

Me

Totally! I’m headed out now to get a drink with a friend. But let me know when you’re done and we can hang out. Fair warning—I’m not great company right now.

Cain

Oh no! What happened?

I hesitate. How much do I really want to share? Cain and I are close in an online sense, but Mal… That’s a whole other story. Still, I could use someone to vent to.

Me

I was sort of seeing someone. It ended VERY badly.

Cain

Oh Freya, that sucks. U okay?

Me

Not really, but I’ll get there. I think I just need to get out of my own head.

Cain

Well, I’m here for that! I’ll text you when I’m done with the job and then I’ll help you get out of that funk.

I smile at the screen.

Me

Sounds good. See you in a bit.

The cool evening air whips past us as Hana and I roar down the mountain roads into Kyoto. Hana takes me on a scenic route through much of the old city, which I know is her way of giving me a last little tour before I leave tomorrow.

We get to Kiyamachi Street and grab an outdoor table on the back patio at a really cool cocktail place called Samurai Mac’s.

The drinks are elaborate and, okay, maybe a little pretentious. But they’re also strong, and just one is enough to loosen the edges of my anxiety. It feels good to be out in the world, even if my insides are still tangled in knots.

We have one more round, then park the bikes and start walking through a lively part of town. Neon lights flash above us, and the streets are packed with people—locals, tourists. For a moment, it feels like I can breathe again.

Then I stop cold.

Hana keeps walking, oblivious to the fact that I’ve come to a dead stop, just staring at the wall of the building next to me. But it’s not the wall, or the building, that I’m looking at.

It’s the frayed, ripped, half-faded advertising poster that’s showing through a myriad of other faded, ripped adverting posters pasted over it. Time, weather, and whatever else have faded and peeled back the top layer, revealing the older one beneath it.

My pulse skips as confusion tangles around me.

Because there, smiling at me in a white wedding dress, surrounded by a dozen Japanese men in tuxedos holding white lotus flowers…

Is Cain.

Not someone who looks like Cain. I mean it’s literally her, smiling from the center of the advertising poster, surrounded by all those guys and text I can’t read because it’s in Japanese.

We’ve only met in person that once. But there’s no mistaking it. The woman on the poster is Cain—same face, same hair, even the same quirky little smile.

What the actual fuck.

Hana laughs as she walks back to where I’ve paused and glances at the old poster. “Oh my God, that show was so fucking cringe.”

I blink, frowning as I turn to her.

“Show?”

She rolls her eyes. “Yeah. It was called Lotus Bride. It was like Japan’s super-weird version of The Bachelorette. All those guys are all totally rich and set for life. Except one of them is just a regular, broke guy. And that chick,” she says, pointing to Cain, “has to pick one of them to marry. But obviously the whole twist is that she doesn’t want to pick the poor guy.” Hana rolls her eyes again. “Told you it was trashy.”

I stare at the poster, trying to figure out what the hell this is.

“Oh, and the best part,” Hana snorts, “is that in the end it turned out that none of the guys was rich. They were all regular-ass men with regular-ass jobs…” She clears her throat. “Frey?”

I blink, pulling my gaze back to her.

“You okay?” she asks, noticing the look on my face. “You look freaked out.”

“Yeah, I just—” I trail off, unable to form a coherent sentence. My mind is racing, trying to piece this together. “I know her.”

Hana frowns. “Seriously?”

I nod. “Yeah. But not as…this,” I frown, pointing at the poster. “She’s an encryption analyst and network tester now. We met in New York.”

Hana arches a brow. “Really?”

“Yeah, I just know her as Cain.”

“Cain?” Hana types madly on her phone for a sec. “Okay, yeah, her name is Kitamura Kyo.” She glances back up at me. “The show ended weird because some fan figured out Kitamura was actually an actress. She’d done a few super low-budget horror movies before the show. And once that came out, everyone just started shitting on the show and calling it fake.” She snorts. “As if it wasn’t a totally scripted piece of crap to begin with.”

I chew on my lip, shaking my head. “This is really weird.”

“Totally. I can’t believe you know her.”

“I’m literally meeting with her later tonight.”

She whips around to stare at me. “Hold up, what??”

“Yeah! We chat all the time about coding and encryption hacking and shit. She’s based out of Tokyo, but she’s in Kyoto for work.”

“She’s a literal hacker now?” Hana’s brows knit. “That’s…sort of a strange pivot.”

“Oh, I agree. But she’s legit,” I shrug. “She really, really knows her shit, too.”

It suddenly hits me that this might one-hundred percent be why Cain has been so cagey about sharing her real name with me.

My phone dings.

Cain

Hey! Just finished up! You still good to meet?

I glance at the screen, then back at the poster, then to Hana.

“That her?”

I nod. “Yeah.”

Hana grins. “Okay, tell me no if it’s a no. But…” Her grin turns devilish. “Could I please tag along and get just one picture with her?”

I snort. “Because of the show?”

“Yes.”

“I thought you hated it!”

“Oh, it was trash. But this one time, I walked in on Takeshi jerking off to her picture, and I have never let him forget it. I called him Lotus Husband for like a year. If I could get a selfie with her? I would own him.”

I burst out laughing. Hana’s love-hate relationship with her twin is amazing.

Also, this sounds hilarious.

“Okay, you can come,” I say hesitatingly. “But…I mean, she did switch careers entirely. She might not want to even talk about it.”

“Oh, for sure,” Hana assures me. “Nothing pushy. If it seems awkward to even bring up, I’ll bounce and let you hang with your friend. Promise.”

I grin as I text Cain back.

Me

Totally!

Cain

Great! There’s a super cool spot I’ve been dying to check out while I’m here. It’s one of those speakeasy type places hidden in the back room of a random tea shop. Any interest?

Me

Hell yeah. I’m still with my friend, though. She can’t stay long, but she was wondering if she could join us.

I groan.

Me

I’m sorry if this is super weird. But I just saw a poster randomly with your face on it, and she filled me in…

Cain

OMGGGGG!! So embarrassing! LOL.

Cain

You discovered my secret Batman identity, lol!

Me

Sorry! We can pretend I never did!

Cain

Lol, it’s ok. Was your friend a fan of the show?

Me

Her twin brother was. OK, maybe more of a fan of YOU. Seriously, if it’s weird, just say no. It’s not a big deal.

Cain

No! Bring her too! I’ll find a lotus for her brother, LOL

I giggle as I glance at Hana. “Okay, you’ve been approved.”

She roars with laughter. “Oh my God, I cannot wait to rub it in Tak’s face that I met his Lotus Bride.”

We return to the parked bikes. Then, it’s off to meet Cain.