Chapter 7.|Not What I Thought|

h.a.r.p.e.r.’.s....p.o.v.

“C’mon, just jump in already!” Toby yelled up from to me from the water. “It isn’t even that cold!”

I stood on the yacht, gripping the railing as I stared into the pristine, crystal clear water below me. Shivering in my blue bikini, I was uncomfortable, to say the least. My boyfriend, on the other hand, ignored all signs of my distress and did exactly what he wanted. At least someone was having a good time here.

Don’t get me wrong, the boat was extremely nice and I really appreciated the invitation to come out here. It was just for some reason Toby thought I was having a great time watching him show off, and ignored all my comments otherwise.

And to be honest, I couldn’t help but compare him to Justin. You see, growing up alongside Justin was something I took for granted. But he always knew when something was up, or how to make a smile appear on my face when I was down. Not to sound cheesy, or anything, but it really wasn’t the same without him.

My mind couldn’t help but drift back to last night. Again, for whatever reason, the mood had drifted from light and easy to dark and grumpy just at the mention of my boyfriend’s name. Why did Justin have to be so overprotective all the time? I was my own person, I didn’t need him telling me what to do.

I rubbed my head. I was with Toby right now, I needed to get Justin out of my mind. This wasn’t what was supposed to happen on vacation. So, in an effort to clear my head, I jumped in the water, cannonball style before resurfacing seconds later to find my happy boyfriend smiling at me. “I knew you’d come in at some point.”

I smiled, trying to rid my brain of the turmoil it was facing. Toby slid his arms around my waist and pulled me to his bare chest. Right now, when I should have been focused on him, I couldn’t help but imagine if this was Justin. His ripped chest beneath my hands, soft hair through my fingertips...

Toby pressed a gentle, soft kiss to my lips. And instead of focusing entirely on him, for a moment, just a moment, I pretended it was Justin, as my arms slipped around his neck. We pulled away all too soon, but once I got a glance at his face to realize this actually was my boyfriend, I gently retracted my arms and suggested we headed back on deck.

I thought that by staying close to him would change where my mind drifted. I guess not. While Toby continued to show off and talk at me about useless things, I could just imagine looking into Justin’s dreamy eyes right now, without a care in the world.

And that was what scared me most.

“I’m serious, Carmela, I’m officially obsessed!” It was Sunday, and after the dreadful experience on the ship yesterday, I was over at Carmela’s house, trying to sort everything out.

“Obsessed as in....?”

“When I kiss my boyfriend, I can’t help but hope it’s Justin!”

“Girl, you got it bad,” she said with a sly smile. “But always knew there was a part of you that liked him.”

“I don’t know, I think this all is just an infatuation, though.”

“Infatuation?” She didn’t seem convinced, and if I was truthfully speaking, neither did I.

“Teenage hormones just went berserk the minute I realized that my friend who’s a dude is really hot.”

“Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that.”

I put my head in my hands. “Carmela, I’m serious! Plus, I’m like a sister to him, he’d never have feelings for me.”

“Are you blind?!” She sounded exasperated. “He is SO into you, like way more in the friendship way. That’s probably the reason he hates Toby so much - he is plain jealous.”

“No, he can’t possibly like me in that way. And he already has a girlfriend, it’s not like he would just use someone like that.”

“From what you told me he can’t stand her. But, whenever you decide to sail off of Island Denial, let me know.”

I huffed. He couldn’t like me, could he?

“Well, what about Toby? You still like him, right?” Carmela asked, probably hoping to turn the conversation in a better direction.

“Yeah, well, the entire time yesterday, he was a total showoff. Like, he thought he could do anything and everything to impress me, and when I told him to cut it out, he either full on ignored me or was a total jerk about it.”

“Are you still into him?”

“I don’t know,” I groaned. “I mean, I want to be. He is my first serious boyfriend, after all. But, honestly, I can’t really stand his childish behavior anymore. He doesn’t understand me as well as I thought, and I know that takes time, but that is going to take a REALLY long time with us.”

Carmela shrugged like it was nothing. “Maybe you two just aren’t meant to be, like Casey and Justin.”

“So what do you think I should do?”

“Easy - tell Toby how you feel and break up with him. Then go to Justin, tell him how you feel, get him to break up with Casey, and then the two of you can start dating. And, voila, perfect couple made on the spot!”

I shook my head. “You and your crazy ass ideas.”

“It’s not crazy, trust me. You just are too scared to put the plan in motion.”

“As if!”

“Then maybe I’ll just do it for you.”

I gasped, in both outrage and shock. “You wouldn’t!”

She smirked, pleased with the reaction she fished out of me. “You know I would. Now go tell your man how you feel!”

Ugh. This was going to be one long week coming up.