Chapter 46

Hunter I had never experienced what a real heartbreak felt like until now; the heartache, it was unbearable. Blue had literally reached inside my chest, ripped out my heart and crushed it with bare hands.

I almost regretted going after her like that. I should have just let it go. She had clearly told me she didn’t want me, what else did I need to prove?

I literally drove around without paying attention to where I was going. Instead of going to my house, I drove to my father’s because I didn’t trust myself to be alone at that moment. I was desperate and my toxic imagination was driving me insane.

I parked the car in the parking space and cut the engine.

I clenched and unclenched the steering wheel. The image of Blue standing next to Adrian made me so ill I could taste bile in my throat. And my imagination was pretty fucking wild if you ask me.

The images kept pushing through, of Blue getting naked with Adrian and the two of them together doing things that we’d once done together.

Where had I gone wrong? We were married, she and I. She loved me, or at least she used to and then she’d gone ahead and ruined everything by sleeping with another man.

Maybe this was karma coming for me; for all the girls that I’d slept with and never responded to their messages. Hell, I’d been bad, I’d broken several hearts but by god, I never led anyone on, never been in a real relationship, and never cheated on someone. I never looked at another woman while I was in love with Blue.

So why did I deserve this again?

With shaky hands, I reached for a bottle of Jack that I kept stashed in my car for emergencies like these and took a long drink. Only after I’d emptied it, I stepped out of the car.

Inside the house, I walked into the housekeeper. “Nana, is mom home?”

She appeared to be flabbergasted for a moment; for the fact that I’d turned up drunk or because I called Elaine “Mom”, I wasn’t sure.

“She’s upstairs in her room.” She told me, “Are you alright, Hunter?”

“Not really,” I muttered before climbing the stairs.

I knocked on her door once when I heard a soft confirmation, I walked inside. Elaine was seated by the study table near the bay window, typing on her laptop. She was a fashion blogger and used to be a model so when she married my dad, she stopped her modeling work.

“Hey.” She called out as she looked at me once before turning to the computer and then quickly did another double-take.

I must look like a mess for her to look at me with so much pity.

“Hey honey, how nice of you to drop by,” She said, smiling up at me.

I kneeled down in front of her while she was still sitting in her chair and placed my head in her lap.

She must be shocked to find me literally begging for her affection, considering the fact that I had always rejected her for years. It’s not that I hated Elaine, I just hated myself.

Her hands hovered over my head for a split second before her fingers slowly caressed my hair. “Sweetie...Hunter, tell me what’s wrong...”

Tears trailed down my face but I didn’t say a word.

“Honey, talk to me.” She cooed softly.

She was becoming excessively concerned. It was probably because I never came to her with my problems, not that I went to anybody. I just bottled up my sorrow, didn’t talk to people and in the past that seemed to have worked well.

Not this time though.

“Is this about Blue?” She inquired.

And that’s when the dam broke and I began to cry. Loud, gut-wrenching sobs heaving from the depths of my heart. It was like a cloak of despair had wrapped itself around me.

I had rendered her speechless, that’s for sure. A grown-ass man brawling so loudly like a child who had lost his favorite toy wasn’t a pleasant experience for a woman.

I buried my face in her lap and cried and cried while she stroked my head slowly, and lovingly, “Tell me what happened, baby?”

I lifted my head up towards her, not caring one bit that I probably had snot dripping down from my nose. And Elaine, god, she needed to be given the Mother of the Year award because she casually wiped my face with the back of her three-thousand dollar or something dress sleeve and kissed the top of my head.

She had to genuinely love me to do that.

“She’s never coming back to me,” I mumbled.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because she doesn’t want me anymore,” I choked, still sobbing like a fucking baby. “I saw her today at the supermarket. She’s pregnant with another man’s child. She doesn’t even want to speak with me.”

Her hand flew to her mouth. “Are you sure that’s true?”

“Of course. He was standing there with her.”

Just thinking about Adrian made my blood boil. I wanted to hit a wall hard.

“Oh, sweetie,” Mom said, but she wasn’t trying to feed me some pity speech, she seemed to be as taken aback as I was with this entire thing.

“You must think I’m a new brand of pussy, crying my eyes out like this in front of you,” I said.

“First of all, mind your language, young man,” She warned me, then added, “Secondly, grown men cry all the time. There’s nothing wrong with it.

What’s wrong, however, is the people who make these dumb rules.”

“I don’t understand what my fault is. All I did was love her, and I thought she loved me back, she said she did. I might have gotten a little obsessive over her sometimes but what man doesn’t get like that over his wife? I’m sure dad did that all the time with you.”

She chuckled, a soft ringing sound filled with warmth. “Yeah, he did that.” She recalled. “He was overbearing a lot of times.”

“And you’re still here with him after all these years. There has to be something wrong with me.” The tears were still streaming down my cheeks. “I must be completely unlovable.”

“You’re just like your father.”

“I’m not taking that as a compliment.”

“You’re caring, kind, thoughtful, honest and sweet and a little rough around the edges, like your dad, but your brother Ryan’s different, he’s like an open book. There’s no mystery to Ryan like you. He was always a good, obedient kid.”

“And I was the worst, right? Getting arrested, running away from home, transferring schools. I gave you a hard time in my late teens. I was not a good son, and definitely not a good husband.” I sniffed, “I’m fucking worthless.”

“Again, Language,” She repeated. “Before I married your dad, he put some conditions for me; he said he wouldn’t marry me if I didn’t keep my word.”

Yeah. That was exactly like Wyatt Brantley. He would put conditions applied to a marriage. I had no doubt about it.

“What did he say?” I was curious.

“He said he wanted me to be your mother. He told me Ryan was a tough kid, that he’d watched his mother get buried and never cried in front of anyone. You, on the other hand, it’s a different story. He said and I quote him because I remember his words exactly “Hunter is a rebellion and he is difficult to love. He will reject you, tell you things he doesn’t mean, make you cry but you still have to continue to love him like I do, will you do that for me?’ He asked me, Hunt, and at first I wasn’t sure if I was doing the right thing by you but slowly I did love you for who you were. I accepted that all children aren’t the same. If you love someone you accept them.”

I was speechless. Dad really cared that much about me?

“You’re not a bad person, Honey, your circumstances are bad.”

“Even if I ask Blue to come back to me, there’s really no point. I mean, she obviously likes Adrian more than she liked me and now she’s pregnant with his kid. I can’t be selfish and force her to choose me.”

“You can’t.” Mom said. “You can’t force anyone to love you.”

“I don’t know what I can do with my life,” I complained. “I don’t even think I want to live anymore.”

She continued to run her fingers through my hair and that was soothing. “How about you take a short vacation to somewhere nice? Japan, maybe?

Kyoto will especially be beautiful right now, you know with the Cherry Blossom season coming along. Take Fred with you. We will sponsor Fred’s ticket. You could go on a shopping spree for the G.I Joe toys there. Imagine how much fun that would be.”

“You mean Gundam.” I corrected her.

“They all look the same to me.” She admitted.

I really appreciated her attempts at cheering me up, truly I did, but no amount of cherry blossom or collecting Gundam figures was going to stop this heartache.

“I’ll think about that.”

A getaway to another country sounded about right. It could at least take my mind off things.

“I made chocolate cupcakes today. Do you want to try?” She asked me, trying her best to cheer me up.

“I would love to,” I responded.

“Hunter, maybe it would be better if you come to live with us for a few days.” She suggested. I knew what she was thinking.

That I would kill myself if I was left alone.

“It would be hard to go to college. I’d have to travel forty-five minutes and that’s if I didn’t include the traffic on the roads.”

She sighed. “Do what you think is right. Maybe I’ll stop by once a while.”

This woman wasn’t going to give up.

“And I want you to stop drinking.” She said and then she caught my face in her hands. “Also remember, you’re not unlovable. I would give anything...

anything to see you happy, and I mean truly happy and I saw that she did that to you. You constanty laughed with her. I’m sure there’s a misunderstanding, honey. If Blue is meant to be with you, she will come back.”

Looks like she never heard a word I said.

Blue was never coming back. Period.

“Can you sing me a song?” I asked changing the subject.

“Which song?”

“The one you used to sing to Hannah when she used to cry.”

She laughed. “You know, I tried to sing songs to you too when you were about ten but you wouldn’t let me.”

“Well, now I do,” I said.

“You’re too old to listen to songs, but it’s not like I’m busy. My voice might be a little rusty.”

“I like rusty.”

She hummed a tune and I closed my eyes. I was really hungry for love, any type of affection to be honest.

The last thing I remembered was her soft voice singing, soothing me.

The Bad Boy And The Mermaid Chapter 45 In My Desperate Time Chapter 637: You're the Best Gift in My Life 19