Struggle of Allegiances

Kiarra

I’ve never been so pissed at a man in my life!

We had made the plan before the meeting, and at the time it seemed simple enough.

Let them believe I wanted to go. Let them think that Aidan and I were breaking apart.

So how it ended up feeling so real was beyond me.

I was genuinely curious about these people, but I would never sacrifice the love I had for Aidan, as much as I wouldn’t sacrifice my independence.

His steps became closer, so I turned to meet him, “Feeling better, big shot?”

“Listen,” he sighed heavily; his eyes were dark but kinder than a few minutes ago.

“Kitten,” he took a few steps closer to me, “there’s nothing in this world more important to me than your happiness.”

He was strained. I could see there was something else he struggled with.

It was just below the surface, but it was there.

I felt it.

Aidan took my hands and pulled me close, “I love you; I’m trying to protect you.”

I’m still spitting mad, but his slightest touch started a chain reaction.

As his hands wandered between my legs, I felt my clit pulsate.

God, I wanted him, but I couldn’t let this go. I needed him to support me.

Maybe it was less the curiosity I had for the Kendricks than it was my need to push back against Aidan.

Either way, I needed to know that he was in my corner.

“I love you, Aidan, with every piece of me, but we can’t, I can’t.”

He backed away. I could tell he was discouraged and hurt by my rejection, which killed me.

“So where do we go from here?”

He shrugged, and I was at a loss for words for the first time in our relationship.

I didn’t know.

“When we left the guest house, I’d never felt so awkward and gross.”

He nodded, “I know, Kitten, and it will only worsen.”

His words were more prophetic than I liked.

“I don’t trust them any more than you do, Aidan. It’s not about that.”

“Then what the hell is going on with you because I’m seriously missing the fucking point.”

The bond between Aidan and me had grown intense over the last few months. He feels what I feel, so why ~wasn’t~ he getting the point?

“I don’t know, there’s this pull deep inside me. Like I’m called to go to the Apex Pack. I can’t explain it.”

“This is your home, Kiarra, with me,” he replied, trying to pull me to him again.

“No, Aidan.”

“No?”

“I’ve never had a home, and you’ve been reminding me about my ~connection-less~ life, remember?”

It was a snarky blow to his precious ego, but I found more comfort in our conflict.

At least it was familiar.

“Do I even know you, Kiarra?” he snapped, “You’re my mate. You belong to me. This is your life. That’s that!”

The one thing I’ve been struggling to adjust to is this ‘you’re mine’ garbage.

At first, it was hot, and I’ll admit it turned me on.

But that was before it became literal from both sides of the fence. Alpha James seemed to share the sentiment.

“God! Aidan! I don’t belong to anyone, okay? I’m your mate, yes. I adore you; I respect you. But I’m not a fucking possession!”

I didn’t understand why these rules and customs were still a thing in this day and age, but I wasn’t having it.

“Just because I want to learn about my family, my birth pack, doesn’t mean you’re losing me.”

Whatever I said tipped the scales of our delicate balance.

Suddenly, Aidan was the one running away.

“What the fuck!” I yelled after him, starting a light jog to catch up, “Will you stop and just listen to me?”

“Stop and listen? That’s all I’ve been doing all night! We went into that meeting with a plan, Kiarra!” he said before he turned to walk away again.

I followed him. I didn’t want to cause a full-scale argument, I just wanted him to see things from my side.

“I can’t sit here and pretend, alright? I’ve run out of ways to get this across to you. They’re shitty people! Why can’t you accept that?”

“I do!”

Finally, Aidan stopped and we locked eyes again.

I searched his face. There was something else going on. I was sure of it.

“What is it, Aidan? What’s eating you out?”

He stayed silent for a minute. “You know what it is? It’s how insane this whole thing is!”

He briskly turned again and resumed his journey toward the pack house.

I stayed hot on his heels. “I want to know what the hell you’re hiding!”

How could he hold back from me when what I needed the most was full disclosure?

I would never like these people. Ever.

But part of me needed to know the truth, no matter what it looked like.

There had to be a way to meet in the middle.

“You keep telling me that the Kendricks aren’t who I think they are, that there’s some grand conspiracy happening. ~You~ look like someone who’s trying to hide something, so what the hell is it?”

He stopped walking but wasn’t giving me anything to go on.

“You’re missing the point, Kiarra.”

“What’s that?!” I yelled, unable to control my rage.

He didn’t respond. Not the way I expected.

“Do you even ~want~ to be my luna?”