Chapter 54

After my memory blacked out, I suddenly regained consciousness, feeling as if my head was about to split open from the throbbing pain that engulfed me.

My vision, blurred by dizziness, cleared after a few blinks, but the dull ache in my head remained.

A tingling sensation of blood coursing through my body vividly registered.

I saw the ceiling.

My room’s ceiling…

It was a familiar ceiling.

But where exactly was this place?

And why was I lying here, of all places?

“My head…”

As I groaned while clutching my head, instead of strands of hair, my fingertips felt a smooth texture.

“My Lord, are you alright?”

“Is the Lord okay?”

“Hey! Get the physician immediately!”

Someone’s urgent voice reached me,

And I saw attendants bustling around in a commotion.

“What’s all the fuss about?”

As I attempted to rise, Lorendel rushed over and hastily pushed me back down.

“My Lord, you must not get up. You need to rest!”

“What’s going on?”

“I… It’s better if you see for yourself.”

Lorenz urgently handed something to me.

It was a mirror.

Slowly lifting the mirror, I finally saw my reflection.

A white bandage was tightly wrapped around my head.

“What’s all this about?”

“Don’t you remember?”

“Remember…?”

Her words slowly jogged my memory.

I distinctly remember falling asleep last night without any incident.

And then… someone entered the room.

I woke up to a suspicious presence and grabbed the intruder’s wrist,

It was Ania Bronte.

– I’d rather die.

Ania.

Ania Bronte…

– Goodbye.

The blue moonlight,

the cold air, and fluttering curtains,

the beautiful golden hair that vanished from my sight…

In an instant, a shiver ran down my spine.

The shocking memory from last night rushed into my mind like a flood.

“Oh no….”

Ania fell.

From the window of my room on the third floor of the mansion.

Falling like the late spring blossoms.

And I instinctively ran.

I threw myself through the window she fell from, embracing her body.

We fell.

My memory didn’t quite reach that last moment.

Like a film with a broken reel.

“Ania.”

A sense of unease, like tiny bugs, crawled all over my body, and I jerked myself upright.

My head throbbed as if it would split open, but… that wasn’t the issue.

“Ania! Ania Bronte!”

I gripped Lorendel’s shoulder tightly and shook her back and forth.

“Where is she?!”

“First, please calm down…”

Anxiety washed over Lorendel’s expression, hesitant to answer.

“Tell me!”

“Please calm down first… As for the young lady, she…”

She didn’t say it explicitly, but I could infer the rest.

Lorendel’s eyes skillfully avoided mine, looking behind me.

It was her usual behavior in difficult situations.

“……”

“My Lord. Miss Ania…”

“Just a moment… just a moment.”

I couldn’t bring myself to hear the rest, and my body slumped forward.

“……”

My breath caught in my throat.

What have I done?

I just wished for her to leave.

If I couldn’t have her, I wanted to forget her.

I wished for her to live her life far away, where my hands couldn’t reach.

That was all I wished for.

For her to leave me and live happily.

That’s why I said such harsh words to you.

I didn’t want to say them,

I didn’t even have them in my heart,

But that was why I tried to drive you away with words I didn’t even mean.

I didn’t wish for death.

If you were alive somewhere,

If both you and I could be happy,

Then maybe I could let go of this bitter regret.

“Ania….”

I murmured the name of someone I could never meet again, feeling utterly alone.

I wouldn’t have let her go if I had known it would end like this.

I would rather have stayed by your side, even if it meant being betrayed over and over and over and…

“Husband.”

Her voice echoed like a hallucination.

Am I going insane?

Hearing the voice of a dead person…

“Edward.”

“……”

But it was too vivid to be a hallucination.

It sounded as if it was coming from right behind me…

I rose to my feet and slowly turned my head back.

And there she was.

Bright blonde hair,

Fair and translucent skin,

Her beautiful and melodic voice,

Her body without a single scratch…

“I’m sorry.”

She spoke somberly, her expression like that of a scolded puppy by its owner, before hiding her body behind the bed’s headboard.

“I’m truly sorry.”

“Ania…”

It must be a dream.

But my head is throbbing so much…

“My Lord!”

Then Lorendel burst in between us.

She shouted urgently.

“My Lord! I understand you’re upset, but… Miss Ania never intended to harm you…”

“What are you talking about?”

“So… if you could just consider letting her stay once more!”

“Step aside.”

I pushed Lorendel aside.

She looked bewildered, but all I could see was Ania.

As I rose and looked behind the bed’s headboard, I saw Ania Bronte peering at me with a mortified expression.

She was truly there.

Right there.

“I never meant to hurt you.”

Her eyes were reddened from crying,

“Really.”

Dark circles from sleepless nights,

“Trust me.”

Disheveled strands of hair,

“Ania.”

I stepped over to stand in front of her.

This delicate woman…

Though her life was what put my head in this state,

I felt no anger at all.

“My Lord…”

Silence filled the room.

“Get up.”

I murmured to Ania.

She slowly raised her head to look at me.

Quietly and slowly, she stood up.

Her round pupils were fixed on my bandaged face.

I chuckled.

I reached out my hand and gently brushed her cheek, running my fingers through her soft hair.

The warm and smooth texture transmitted through my fingertips.

It wasn’t a fantasy.

Not a dream.

I was so grateful.

“I’ll trust you.”

“Huh?”

“I said, I’ll trust you. Completely.”

Ania’s eyes widened.

Her face looked so funny that I couldn’t help but burst into laughter myself.

“I’ll trust you. I truly do.”

“…Really?”

“Yes.”

“Even though you got hurt because of me.”

“I’ll be fine soon.”

“Even though I did such a thing…”

“So what?”

Losing Ania Bronte was more terrifying than losing anything else.

Every minute without this woman was suffocating.

To let her go…

So, let’s believe once more.

Even if it’s a choice that could kill me, let’s believe just this once.@@novelbin@@

If it’s a request so earnest that she could throw away her body, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do.

“Don’t leave. Stay in the mansion.”

I stared into Ania’s surprised eyes for a while.

Just looking into those eyes mysteriously eased my pain.

Does she know this heart of mine?

Does she know that she’s mending my shattered heart and that I’m trusting her as my last hope?

Does she know that even though I know the end of this crazy love is destruction, I’m still giving my heart to her again?

“Yeah.”

I felt the urge to hug Ania as she nodded.

But it wasn’t the right time yet.

This lovely woman could stay by my side, but she wasn’t someone I could give my heart to.

Then someone knocked on the door.

“It’s the physician!”

“Come in.”

A neatly dressed middle-aged man entered the room abruptly.

“Oh… My Lord! You’re awake.”

“Yes I am.”

“You mustn’t get up. Please lie down. Let me check your condition.”

I obediently lay down on the bed.

My head, which didn’t hurt when Ania was in front of me, now felt like it was about to split open.

“It feels like my head is splitting.”

“That’s why I said to lie down…!”

As Lorendel scolded me, Ania, who had suddenly approached my side, giggled as if she was enjoying herself.

“Ania.”

“Yeah.”

“Go back to the guest room. Let’s talk later.”

“Okay.”

After Ania left, the physician removed the bandages and examined my head.

There was a long and nasty scar clearly engraved on my head, which had been caused by hitting the ground when I fell.

The physician called it a miracle.

He said that falling from the third floor with a person and ending up with only this level of injury was because of divine protection, and he kept praising the gods.

Afterward, he asked me a few questions.

Have any recent papers in academia stated that head injuries could affect intelligence?

After finishing his questions, the physician left the room.

I dismissed all the other attendants and left only Lorendel.

“Lorendel.”

“My Lord… I’ve overstepped my boundaries…”

I had a request for her.

Using a bit of mana, I picked up a document from the desk.

“Send this to the Imperial Postmaster today. If possible, get a reply as well.”

“The Imperial Postmaster, you say?”

“Yes.”

“Understood. I’ll make it happen for you.”

I picked up a cigarette from the bedside and lit it, letting out a long stream of smoke that filled the room with a hazy atmosphere.

That lingering smoke felt like a barrier between Ania and me.

If I could clear away that hazy barrier, could I come to love her?

Could my faith remain unwavering?

I couldn’t know.

All I felt was the trembling of my fingertips, fraught with uncertainty.