Chapter 49
If you Don’t Love Me, I Will Die
âWhy donât you hate me?â
When those words came out of Edwardâs mouth, Aniaâs eyes blinked rapidly, momentarily unable to comprehend what she had heard.
She looked up at Edward, confused, and only then did she see his eyes.
They resembled the frail branches of winter, trembling as the wind passed.
She had always understood the deep emotions reflected in those eyes, but this time, she couldnât read them at all.
Ania couldnât find the words to say and merely pursed her lips.
There was no reason to hate him.
Edward hadnât wronged her, nor had he broken any promises.
âWhyâ¦â
That was all Ania managed to utter.
Her body felt drained of energy.
Looking at Ania in such a state, Edward gazed at her with intense longing.
âBecause I hate you, and seeing you fills me with uncontrollable rage.â
âYou⦠donât love me anymore.â
Edward grasped Aniaâs shoulders.
âBecause⦠I hate you to death.â
âYeah.â
Ania nodded faintly, smiling.
âYou can hate me. I understand completely.
Even though itâs not my fault, thatâs all you can conclude.
No matter how I try to explain the twisted situation, it will only sound like excuses.
However, Ania never had a moment where she hated Edward.
Even if that man bound her in such a way that she could never escape, even if he used her as a means to his own success, Aniaâs heart would remain unchanged.
âYou can hate me.â
With a slight smile, Ania nodded.
The seething hatred,
The icy condemnation,
They were all feelings for Ania and would always be for her.
So she could only be happy.
âBut I will never hate you, Edward.â
If that man didnât exist,
Living would have no meaning.
For the young Ania, who once wished for death,
Edward was life itself.
Though she had lived forgetting for many years, from the time she matured, that man was always the one who made Ania want to live.
She had no reason to hate Edward.
Edward was as essential as life itself.
âIf there is one thing you should believe, it is this.â
Looking at Aniaâs smile mixed with tears, Edward gritted his teeth.
Not hate, but not love either.
Upon hearing those words, everything became clear.
The reason why this woman left him and why, even after leaving, she came back.
Obsession.
She was just a tiny goldfish floating in a bowl, hoping for her ownerâs love, but she only received food.
She knew how miserable it was, yet she couldnât break free.
It was a futile hope. For a moment, he entertained the idea that perhaps she still loved him.
Despite begging so harshly, he considered the reason she approached him again as pure love.
âI donât hate you, Edwardâ¦.â
A fiery passion rose in Edwardâs heart.
With narrowed eyes, he stared fiercely at Ania.
âEven if I hate you enough to kill you?â
âYes.â
âEven if I take away everything you love?â
âYes.â
âEven if I insult and trample upon your family?â
âYes.â
Spewing out sharp words, Ania still nodded.
âEven if⦠I kill you?â
Finally spitting out the words he had deeply swallowed inside, Edwardâs face was suddenly closer to Aniaâs as if he was about to devour her.
His pupils were sparkling like flames, and Ania stared deeply without averting her gaze.
When their eyes met, the surroundings fell into a tranquil silence as if only the two of them remained in the world.
Ania looked into Edwardâs eyes,
To see what was hidden within.
After a long while of silently gazing at each other, Aniaâs lips curled up slightly.
âI have no reason to hate you.â
Ania smiled brightly as she spoke. A single tear trickled down from her eyes.
âEven in death.â
Life without you is a life that is not worth living. Even if you kill me, I wonât resent you.
Even though that sentiment was love, they couldnât understand each otherâs feelings.
Realizing it was love, their hearts had broken for two years.
Like a ceramic piece that fell off the shelf and shattered into countless fragmentsâ¦
The emotions that had turned into numerous shards were scattered so widely that it was unclear where to begin putting them back together.
The hearts of the two standing in the same place were heading in completely different directions.
Just like that divergence, as if suddenly, the rain falling from the sky turned into tiny snowflakes.
The delicate and tiny snowflakes melted as they touched their heads and skin.
Smiling silently, Ania wiped away the tears drying on her eyelids and turned away.@@novelbin@@
âEdward.â
ââ¦â¦.â
âThe words I said in the Tower werenât lies. I sent you letters every day.â
Edward silently watched Aniaâs back.
Ania turned slightly.
Her feather-like hair cascaded softly.
âEvery day, I sent out a letter with a heart willing to wait forever.â
âAre you asking me to believe that?â
âYeah.â
âAs if.â
Ania smiled bitterly and then pressed herself against Edwardâs body.
Aniaâs blue eyes looked up at him.
âEdward. Iâ¦â
With those words, Ania burst into laughter.
âHahaâ¦â
Her pure laughter echoed vividly in Edwardâs ears.
âIâm going to abandon the Brontë family.â
âWhat?â
âExactly like I said. My father was the one who made me approach you at the Bronte estate, with your money as the objective.â
ââ¦?â
âSo Iâm going to abandon them.â
Ania looked up at the sky.
Snowflakes fell.
They touched her face.
And melted.
The warmth of her cheeks meeting the cold snowflakes cooled down.
âDonât talk nonsense.â
âWhy do you think that?â
âYou canât do that.â
âI can.â
Aniaâs hand touched Edwardâs cheek.
âWhat a petty family we areâ¦â
Compared to losing that man for a lifetime, anything else was insignificant.
Ania conveyed that message with her gaze.
Edwardâs pupils trembled.
ââ¦What do you want?â
âI want you.â
âWhat do you want from me by abandoning even your family? To possess and toy with me?â
His eyes narrowed.
Passersby hurriedly rushed elsewhere, avoiding eye contact,
While Edward and Ania stood still like rocks in the middle of the stream.
Ania watched the passing people and remembered.
Among so many people, the reason why this person alone seemed special.
It was love.
Despite Edwardâs desperate denial, it was love.
Ania couldnât deny the possessiveness akin to obsession, but she believed that obsession was also a form of love.
So it was love.
âWhat do youââ
As soon as he spoke those words, Ania collapsed as if all strength had left her.
Perhaps it was because she had been standing in the cold for so long,
But just as suddenly, warm and sturdy arms caught Ania and lifted her.
She weakly raised her head.
The man wore a bewildered expression at his own actions.
But Ania wasnât.
âHe loves me.â
He may think itâs hatred, but itâs love.
Of course, it wasnât as deep as Aniaâs love for him.
It was still like a seed buried in the soil,
But with care and love, it will sprout.
It will grow stems and eventually blooms flowers.
Ania smiled.
âLove me.â
ââ¦â¦â
Supported by Edwardâs strong arms, Ania raised her head and looked straight into the lovely manâs eyes.
Now, it didnât matter what happened.
âPlease love me.â
No matter how broken it was,
No matter how irreversibly it had collapsed,
Even if it meant trying to change the pastâ¦
âLove me, pleaseâ¦â
Ania had the confidence to do anything.
Because she loved this man who was in such a sorry state.
Because this man so desperately wanted her to love him.
Ania slowly wrapped her arms tightly around Edwardâs body.
âItâs okay if you hate me.â
The warmth emanating from his body felt comforting.
âIâll do anything you want.â
Even though he had erected walls of hatred,
He couldnât resist when she embraced him.
âIâll do whatever you want.â
Even in the scorching heat of burning seasons,
She stood tall like a goldenglow, even in the freezing cold,
She couldnât possibly give up this man whom she loved.
âSo, Edward.â
If she could receive this manâs love,
Ania felt like she could do anything.
She couldnât even remember how she managed to endure these two years.
âLetâs get married. Again.â
In the place where the man known as the Empireâs Sun met his death,
Ania died and was reborn once again.
Authorâs Note (Authorâs Postscript)
Finally, weâve reached this point⦠Thank you for waiting so long.