Chapter Twenty - The Music

The Music

Abigail's POV

Blue.

Royal blue.

It surrounds me. I'm drowning in it. I don't fight or struggle. I let it pull me down. I need it, ache for it.

Then it shifts. Changes. The blue is gone and I'm in the library, running through shelves of books. There are so many. I'm looking for something. It's important and I have to find it. I run and I run but I can't find my way.

I hear my mothers voice calling to me...

The world flashes to black and I'm standing on an unfamiliar road in the dark. It winds through a forest of tall old trees. It's quiet, my heart beating loudly in my ears. A soft fog caresses the earth and the moon's light peeks through swaying branches.

There's someone walking towards me along the road. A shadow. It scares me but I'm frozen in place. I watch with fear stiffening my spine as the shadow draws near. It's steps into the moonlight and I see it's face. Her face.

I'm staring at myself.

I reach out and my image reaches out at the same time, mirroring my movements.

"Let me out," she whispers.

I don't understand what that means. I open my mouth to speak, but no sound will escape my throat.

She cocks her head and her features change. Her eyes turn completely white and her face twists into a sneer, baring sharp fangs at me. She's full of anger and hatred. I can feel it within myself.

"Let me out," she repeats, her voice disembodied and terrifying.

Wake up, Abby!

I jolt awake with a gasp, my wolf's voice still ringing in my head. My heart is racing and I'm disoriented. After a moment I blink rapidly and sit up. When I realize where I am my fear dissolves in an instant.

I'm in Liam's bed.

The memory of last night makes me groan both in embarrassment and remembered desire. I can't believe how I acted. Or how Liam acted. It was as if he couldn't resist me. And I became lost to him. I should be ashamed of the way I begged but I'm not. I saw the struggle in him, I know he wanted me too. And my pleading only seemed to excite him more.

I glance around, half expecting to see blue eyes staring at me, but instinctively I know Liam isn't here. I can feel that wrenching emptiness in my heart. Liam is far away from me.

Rubbing a hand over my chest I will the pain away. The sun is just peeking through the open windows and I have to get ready for school, but part of me wants to bury back into bed and never leave. Not until Liam comes back...

I can't let this pull I have towards Liam control my life. I have to be stronger than that.

With another groan I get up and make my way back to my bedroom. I don't see any werewolves along the way. It's strange. I expected with the pack arriving the mansion would be bustling with activity. But it seems just as quiet and empty as before.

After getting dressed I go down for breakfast. Foods already laid out on the table and Samuel is there speaking softly to Roland, who has a hard expression on his face.

"I won't," Roland growls.

"You have no choice," Samuel replies calmly.

Snatching up his jacket from the table Roland scoffs, "We'll see about that." He storms by me with a tight nod. I stare after him, it just seems so unusual for Roland to act that way.

"What was that about?" I ask, walking up to the table and sitting down across from Samuel.

Sighing deeply Samuel picks up a newspaper. "He's going through some things."

"What, like a mid-life crisis?" I joke.

Samuel smiles. "Something like that."

Spreading cream cheese on a bagel I try to ask casually, "Where's Liam?"

"He's left," Samuel answers point blank.

"Left?" Without even saying goodbye? And why the hell should that even bother me? It's not like he needs my permission.

Yes, he does...

My wolf is certainly not happy.

Samuel nods, taking a sip of coffee. "He needed to sort out some issues with his wolf. He informed me that you may sleep in his room until he returns."

I blink. That's a shocker. "I can?"

"Of course. It should ease you while he is gone."

Gone? I don't like that at all. He should be here. With me.

Arg! What the hell?

It is the mate bond. You cannot help it.

Well, it's stupid!

Reading my expression Samuel adds, "It's not easy for him either, being apart from you."

My heart does funny things in my chest at that. "When will he be back?"

"I honestly don't know. But I highly doubt he will be able to stay away from you for very long."

Taking a bite of my bagel I mull over that. Was it my fault that he left? Was it because of last night? My whole body seems to set on fire with the memories. Liam wanted me and he didn't even try to deny it. It left me both thrilled and confused.

And that dream? It was unsettling.

I wonder if I should tell Samuel about it, but he'll probably think I'm crazy worrying about a dream. "Where is everyone? I thought this place would be busier."

"Drills. It's been a while. I shall be joining them after I bring you to school."

"Oh...is Amelia with them?" I'd like to avoid that horrid person as much as possible.

"No. Amelia is currently being punished," Samuel drawls as if it's no big deal.

I drop my bagel, smearing cream cheese all over the table. Hastily grabbing a napkin, I wipe up the mess. "Why?"

"Alpha's orders." Samuel raises a brow at my surprised expression. "You didn't really think he'd let her get away with trying to harm you?"

A perverse sense of satisfaction flares through me. And another thrill that Liam would react that way. "I thought he didn't care..."

Samuel looks me straight in the eye, his face shifting from cheerful to stern. Whoa, I feel my back stiffen as I sit up straighter.

"You are more important to him than any other, Abby," he says, his voice strict and soft. "Believe me, he cares."

I don't know what to say to that. Or think. And before I can fully comprehend the door to the dining room swings open and Jin beckons us to him with his hand.

"Ah," Samuel announces happily, slapping down his newspaper. "Time for school." And just like that his mood changes from a chiding to joyful.

The drive to school is surprisingly fun. Samuel doesn't spin wild tales like Roland, but engages me in intellectual conversation. We end up talking about physics and the possibility of space travel - of all things. And he's a big fan of Star Trek. Which means I now have a binge buddy when I'm in need of a Spock kick.

It's a nice distraction, but that emptiness in my chest haunts me. And by the time we arrive at school I feel even worse.

"Okay?" Samuel asks with concern.

I give him a weak smile. "I'll be fine."

Samuel gives my knee a pat. "It will get better. Trust me."

I want to trust him, but it's hard to take his word after everything that's happened so far. My life just never seems to want to get better. With another fake smile I get out of the car, slinging my bag over my shoulder.

"Hey, Abby," Samuel calls.

Leaning down I poke my head back through the open door. "Yea?"

Grinning like an idiot Samuel gives me the Vulcan salute. "Live long and prosper."

Despite my foul mood I crack up laughing.

The rest of my day is uneventful. So is the next day. And the next. Roland is scarce, while Samuel takes Jin and I back and forth from school. Christopher sits with me at lunch now and we have a good time talking and joking around. Occasionally, he asks about Roland with a deep blush and I'm beginning to wonder if something more is up between the two of them. But I don't press and I enjoy his company. It's as if we've been friends for years.

To my surprise Amber eventually joins us, sitting quietly and giving the occasional timid smile or bashful glance at Jin. She doesn't speak to Sarah and often the two of them exchange hate filled stares from across the cafeteria, which I happily participate in. Even though Amber doesn't speak much she's nice and helpful and I find myself liking her.

By the end of the week it feels as if we've always hung out like this and it's really nice to finally have friends.

After school is the worst. I try to keep busy and keep my mind off Liam but it's so hard. I wish I could go to the library, I always felt at peace there and I miss it. Especially after my weird dream. And it would be nice to check out a new book to keep me distracted. But I know Jin and Samuel won't allow it since Serenity is apparently a big bad witch, which still baffles me.

So each night I lie in Liam's bed alone, waiting for him. Missing him. And its torture. When I arrive back from school I think he'll be back and each day I'm disappointed. I try to hide it, to muscle through, but it's starting to show. I have dark circles under my eyes and I even look thinner. It's like I'm wasting away just by him not being here.

Is this what I have to look forward to? A bleak existence of waiting and yearning until there's nothing left of me?

I hate the thought of it.

I wait for a comforting word from my wolf but it doesn't come. She's been unusually quiet. I miss talking with her. I even miss her smart ass remarks.

Lying in Liam's bed I fight not to think about anything and sleep but I know I won't. I can't. Sitting up I debate going downstairs and watching television. But then I hear music. Something classical. Soft. Muted.

A piano.

Getting up I follow the sound and find myself in a wide empty room with a single piano at the center. Even in the dark I can tell who's playing. It's Jin.

I take a hesitant step forward and he stops, turning to glance at me silently, and it's the first time I've seen him without his headphones.

"Sorry," I mumble. I've feel as if I've intruded on something private. He doesn't say anything, just looks at me. But he doesn't seem upset or mad either. "I couldn't sleep," I add in a rush. "Do you mind if I just listen?"

After a few heart pounding seconds he nods and waves me over. Quiet as a mouse I sit beside him on the bench, facing the opposite direction. Then he starts to play. Beautifully. Perfectly. And I recognize the music. Rachmaninoff.

By the time he's done I have tears in my eyes. But then he moves onto another piece and I listen to that as well. The night stretches on but we stay in that empty room. We don't say a word and we don't have to. And it's exactly what I need. Wordless comfort with beautiful music.

And this too, becomes my norm. Whenever I'm feeling too much pain or hurt I seek out Jin and he plays me the piano.

Another week goes by much the same as the last and Liam still doesn't come back. Sitting crossed legged in the sitting room I glare at my math homework. I have a strong urge to hit someone or scream. I swear when Liam does come back I'm going to kill him.

To make matters worse I have algebra homework and I don't understand it at all. I've never been very bright with math. I could put it off but I'd rather do it now and not have it hanging over my head all weekend.

Tapping my pencil on the coffee table I look over the last problem. A is supposed to equal X but there are more letters inside parentheses and ugh, I just hate it so much.

Huffing I rest my chin on my hand. Jin is sitting across from me, quickly completing the complicated math problems as if it's nothing. The bastard.

We always do homework together now. Not that it was really Jin's choice. I bugged him to help me. Hell, I follow him around like a pathetic puppy half the time. But he puts up with me and he makes me feel better about Liam being gone. Even without talking.

And the sitting room has become our new place. It's cozy and warm in here. Samuel often joins us, reading in the corner and sipping coffee or tea. And sometimes even Roland. His mood seems to have improved, although he still disappears from time to time.

The rest of the pack is still performing drills or off finding jobs, which I'm internally thankful for. I like that it's just the four of us together. It's like we're one little family and it makes me feel happy and content.

If only Liam would come back.

Damn it! Why did I have to think about him?

So what if he does come back? It will just be more of the same. His bad moods, telling me what to do, keeping secrets, his dominating personality that I so do not find hot at all...until he starts kissing me, and pinning me against doors, and fisting my hair...

I drop my head to the coffee table with a loud thump. I hate myself.

"Jin," I all but whine.

He sighs, looking up at me.

I blush. I can't tell him what I'm thinking about Liam. Picking up my homework I wave it in front of his face. "Can you check my answers?"

Rolling his eyes, he snatches the paper from my fingers and glances over it. Frowning he looks back up. "You're an idiot."

"Hey!" I exclaim. Whenever he does talk it's usually an insult. Surprisingly, he doesn't really have an accent and I wonder just how long he's been speaking English.

He snorts, quickly correcting my answers before handing the paper back to me. I got almost all of them wrong. "Man, I suck," I pout.

"Yes," Jin agrees.

Crossing my arms, I huff, "I like you better when you don't talk."

Picking up a bowl of Cheetos he places it in-front of me. "Eat. You're cranky."

"I should slap you," I grumble, picking up a handful of Cheetos and munching on them with a sulky expression.

Roland joins us then, giving me a soft pat on the head as he walks by. "How is the homework going, ma chére?"

"Bad," I reply, disconcerted. "Jin thinks I'm stupid."

Jin's gives me an angry glare. And I know exactly what he's thinking.

"Well, you do," I retort.

Shaking his head, he ignores me and goes back to his homework.

"Hey, Roland, can you do me a favor?" I ask.

Sitting in a chair Roland crosses his arms over his stomach. "And what's that?"

"I need some more notebook paper. Can you pick me up some?"

He scowls slightly. "I just bought you some last weekend."

"I know but I gave it to Christopher."

Roland's scowl deepens and his eyes flash for a second. Crap, is he angry? "I'll get you more," he grates.

"Thanks. And I didn't mean to waste it. It's just Christopher didn't have any and I don't think he can afford school supplies."

"Is that so?" Roland replies as if he's completely disinterested.

"I feel bad for him," I admit with a hushed tone. "I notice that he always wears the same two shirts and the same pants. And his shoes are falling apart..." I trail off as Roland's eyes turn blue and don't turn back. "Do you not like Chris?"

Standing suddenly Roland growls, "I need a walk."

"Wait." I stand up too. I don't know why Roland acts like this but Christopher doesn't deserve it. "He's really nice. You shouldn't be so mean."

Stopping in the doorway Roland utters, "Leave it be, Abby."

"But he's so nice!" I argue. "And he asks about you all the time. I think he really likes you and wants to be friends."

Roland's back stiffens. Turning he gives me an odd look. "He asks about me?" He sounds almost eager.

A strange thought pops into my head. "Yea...all the time."

Swallowing, Roland asks thickly, "Do you talk about me?"

Okay...maybe Roland does like Christopher...

"Sometimes," I answer slyly.

"About what?" Roland asks. Then he shakes his head, rubbing a hand through his hair. "Never mind." Then he leaves, tight lipped and with glowing eyes.

Raising my brows, I look at Jin. "Do you know what's up with him?"

Jin just shrugs.

Throwing my hands up in the air I glare up at the ceiling. "Why are werewolves so freaking frustrating!?"