Chapter 38: I Like You The Most…

When An Yize opened the door to the private room, he was blasted by a burst of music.

“In this world, only mama is the best. Children with moms are like treasures. When I throw myself into mama’s embrace, my happiness is never ending.”

It was a song everyone knew, but the singer sang it with… utmost brutality.

It was the first time that worldly president An had ever listened to someone who had the power to sing this song in such a way that the composer would be hard-pressed to recognize it.

An Yize just frowned at first, but when he recognized that the person holding the mic while singing earnestly was a figure he was extremely familiar with, he couldn’t help but be dumbstruck.

Su Jian was still tearfully and tragically singing, “In this world, only mama is best. Motherless children are like weeds. Leaving mom’s embrace, where can I find happiness…”

The roomful of people listening to the song all displayed “I’m drunk too” expressions.

When she saw An Yize enter, An Yirou immediately greeted him. “Third brother!”

An Yize calmly responded, “What’s going on here?”

An Yirou glanced awkwardly at Su Jian. “We just drank some beer, but I would never have thought that third sister-in-law would get drunk after drinking a little bit.”

Su Jian was already emotional from seeing Su Jie, but when he saw his own picture on the wallpaper of Su Jie’s phone, a wave of sentiment, longing, and sorrow surged up. But he also clearly knew that it was impossible for him to confess his real identity to Su Jie. He also didn’t dare have too much interaction with Su Jie. He died in the same car accident as Su-girly. Their names were even the same, and he had amnesia. It wouldn’t be impossible to uncover each of these things if anyone had the slightest suspicion. He didn’t know if he’d ever tell anyone close to him the secret of his rebirth, but right now he wouldn’t. After all, this matter wasn’t just related to him as it involved several families. Also, the truth was too strange, not everyone could accept it. He didn’t want to take that chance.

It was just that it wasn’t that easy to suppress the feelings of missing family. He was able to be halfway at ease after finding out his parents were doing well, but he still heart achingly missed his parents and little brother. He was depressed but wasn’t able to announce it to the world. Thus, when the crowd of young people started drinking some beer to liven things up, he didn’t object. His alcohol tolerance wasn’t the best in the past, but a few bottles of beers weren’t a problem, so he didn’t think much of it. What he didn’t realize was that Su-girly’s body was the type to get drunk easily so when Su Jian drank two big glasses of beer, he was past the point of no return.

Unexpectedly, the drunken Su Jian didn’t make a fuss and remained obediently seated. He only hogged the mic and wouldn’t let go. His singing skills were unable to be complimented on. Every song’s melody could be distorted to the heavens. Thus, a roomful of people could only suffer in the midst of happiness — suffering because of the demonic sounds piercing their ears, happy because of being able see a beauty earnestly singing and earnestly going off-tune.

At first, An Yirou didn’t notice that something was off about Su Jian. She only noticed when Su Jian selected a long string of strange songs and started singing her heart out.

An Yirou urged, “Third sister-in-law, do you want to eat something?”

Su Jian hugged the mic tightly and shook his head like a drum-shaped rattle. “No, let me first sing a song to calm down…”

An Yirou: “……”

Zhou Hai came over and said, “Beauty, see you singing by yourself looks so lonesome. Why don’t you let me sing a few songs?”

Su Jian showed a face that seemed to be weighed down with experience. “All of mankind is alone. I’m already used to it…”

Zhou Hai: “……”

Su Jie came over and coaxed, “Su Jian, why don’t you rest a little before singing again? Otherwise it won’t be good for your throat.”

Su Jian looked at him with red-rimmed eyes. “What use is a good throat? My heart still hurts the same…”

Su Jie: “……”

The roomful of people were defeated so everyone awkwardly listened to Su Jian throw away the original composers’ tunes and miraculously perform new versions of “Dong ah, Beloved Mom,” “Calabash Gourd Brothers,” “Come Home Often,” “The Elders Back Home,” “Fa Hai, You Don’t Understand Love,” and so on.[1]

When An Yize arrived, Su Jian was just performing the most moving piece— “In this world, Only Mama is best.”

In spite of the curious looks from the roomful of people, An Yize walked directly towards Su Jian and said with a frown, “Jian Jian, come home with me.” Then he reached out to remove the mic from Su Jian’s hands.

Su Jian protected the mic in his hands with all his might and a guarded expression. “I’m a performer, not a prostitute!”

An Yize: “……”

An Yirou sat nearby holding in her laughter. “Third sister-in-law, third brother came to take you home.”

Su Jian looked blankly at An Yize for a while as he blinked, then dazedly said, “Yi…ze?”

An Yize’s heart suddenly melted. He took the opportunity to take away his microphone while he was in a daze. He gently said, “Mm, it’s me. Be good. Let’s go home.”

Teardrops still hung off of Su Jian’s eyelashes as he dazedly allowed Yize to take his hand.

An Yirou sighed, “Third brother. You’re still the best! Just now, it was no use no matter how much we coaxed her. As soon as you came, third sister-in-law listened to you.”

An Yize tightened his grip on Su Jian’s hand. He said to An Yirou, “I’ll bring her home first. Are you coming with?”

An Yirou shook her head. “It’s still early. I want to play a bit longer.”

An Yize took in what was going on in the room. He saw that the group of young people were being relatively tame and muttered, “Alright, I’ll ask the driver to come over here to wait for you. Don’t forget to go home before ten.”

An Yirou grinned, “Don’t worry, third brother! You don’t have to worry about me! Just focus on taking care of third sister-in-law!”

An Yize turned and looked at the person who dazedly allowed him to hold her hand. His eyes carried a small amount of helplessness.

“Then I’ll take her home now,” An Yize said to An Yirou and nodded to everyone in the room. Then, he led Su Jian outside by the hand.

While he talked, Su Jian stood obediently by his side. Unexpectedly however, when he tried to lead Su Jian outside, Su Jian became recalcitrant.

Su Jian glared in rejection as he yelled, “Help me! Help me! Mr. Policeman, this is the guy!”

An Yize: “……”

In the end, An Yize had to forcibly drag Su Jian away with his hand over her mouth.

After he carried Su Jian into the car, An Yize sat in the driver’s seat and woodenly took a few breaths.

He turned to look at the girl who had once again become quiet and lovable. An Yize slowly released a breath and reached over to buckle her in.

Su Jian earnestly watched him buckle the seatbelt for him. Suddenly, he said softly, “Yize, where are we going?”

An Yize saw that he sobered up some, stroked his hair, and his voice involuntarily softened. “Be good. We’re going home.”

When he heard the words, “going home,” Su Jian started to frown and sang in a mournful voice, “Come home, come home, I need you—“

The veins on An Yize’s forehead bulged out. “Stop singing!”

Su Jian immediately changed to a different tune, singing to his heart’s content. “When I want to sing, I’ll sing. I’ll sing loud and clear even if no one claps for me. At least I can bravely enjoy myself—“

The veins on An Yize’s forehead pulsed. He suddenly lowered his head to muzzle the mouth that wouldn’t stop singing.

Su Jian’s voice was suddenly cut off. He was motionless except for his blinking eyes.

The confusion in the girl’s eyes allowed An Yize’s fretful heart to slowly calm down. The movements of his mouth became gentler.

At that moment, Su Jian suddenly sucked with curiosity on something soft that had been inserted in his mouth.

An Yize: “……”

When Su Jian was released, his lips were already somewhat swollen and his seat belt had already been released. He laid in An Yize’s arms.

President An, who had all his energy converted to tender feelings from what had just happened, wiped the tear tracks from the girl’s eyes with his fingers. He said in a low voice, “Why did you just cry?”

At first, Su Jian just stared blankly, but as if he had just thought of something, he puckered his lips and said in a hurt tone, “I miss my mom…”

An Yize was startled by this answer. He had not come back to his senses yet when he heard Su Jian start to sing in a mournful voice, “Oh, Mama! Mama in the candlelight—“

An Yize’s temple pulsed as if his veins would burst. “Didn’t you forget everything? How is it that you miss your mom?”

This time, Su Jian’s response was very smooth. “How could I forget?” Then he suddenly grabbed onto An Yize’s neck and shouted out aggrievedly and with much emotion. “Mom –“

An Yize’s temple veins finally burst.

Su Jian still laid in his embrace and continued to sing, “Mama in the candlelight. The flowering shadows of your black hair. Your face is imprinted with many worries. Your curved back is no longer straight. Why did your eyes lose their shine—“

An Yize held the person in his arms in a stupor as he listened to the small girl in his arms slowly and with deep feeling go out of tune as she sang. He could only feel like life was so exhausting.

“I. Am. Not. Your. Mother!” These five words were squeezed out like tears of blood.

Su Jian held onto him tightly and said resentfully, “Mom, why don’t you acknowledge me? I’m your most loved Jian Jian!”

An Yize: “……”

Su Jian let out a few sobs then slowly quieted down. Exhausted to the bottom of his heart, An Yize held her as he softly called, “Jian Jian?”

Su Jian automatically shifted into a more comfortable position in his arms then looked up at him. He softly burbled, “Yize, I want to drink water…”

Before, when his leg was not at full capacity, if he woke up in the middle of the night and wanted water, he would wake An Yize and ask him to pour some for him. At this moment, he had sung a lot and also cried so he felt thirsty as he fell into his habit of calling on An Yize.

He seemed to have sobered a bit… An Yize looked down at him then hesitantly asked, “Who am I?”

It was better if he hadn’t asked because Su Jian immediately started to belt out, “Don’t ask me who I am, just love me—“

“Don’t you dare sing again!” An Yize who had brought it upon himself started to regret his past deeds.

Su Jian suddenly cut himself off, dazedly looked at An Yize for a while, then buried his face in his chest as he softly said, “Then you sing for me…”

“No.” An Yize refused expressionlessly.

The rejected Su Jian immediately started to sing tragically, “I think you don’t really love me. When caring slowly becomes coldness—“

“Alright! I’ll sing!” An Yize said through clenched teeth.

Su Jian immediately stopped making a sound and only breathed in through his nose loudly.

An Yize hesitated, then hesitated some more. In the end, he was worried that the small girl in his arms would suddenly make another disturbance so he softly started to sing.

He didn’t know many popular songs, but this song was one that someone really liked to sing so he remembered it. He softly started to hum it then suddenly his mood changed.

“I know

It is hard to fall in love

When you feel blue

Deep inside your heart

I’m sure

You got so much more to give

Believe in me

I can let it shine again

Surrender

Baby please surrender

I will be so tender

If you trust in me…”[2]

Outside of the car window, the scenes of the night blurred. Pedestrians rushed here and there in haste by the road, each with their own stories.

An Yize looked down at the person in his arms. Su Jian obediently lay in his arms as if she had already fallen asleep.

An Yize let out a slow sigh and felt as if he were in low spirits.

After lightly rubbing Su Jian’s hair, An Yize loosened his hold in order to put Su Jian back in her seat so he could drive home.

He didn’t expect that with one small movement, Su Jian would suddenly burrow further into his arms then applaud loudly with a PA PA PA.

An Yize: “……”

Su Jian held his waist tight, rubbing his face against his chest. “Sounds good…”

An Yize silently sucked in a breath of air.

Su Jian said softly, “I like you a lot…”

An Yize: “……”

Su Jian was still muttering, “I like you the most…”

An Yize’s throat tightened up. He said hoarsely, “Jian Jian. Do you know what you’re saying?”

Su Jian was silent for a while. Right when An Yize suspected that he had fallen asleep, he suddenly spoke with a soft, frail, a bit coquettish yet very sincere voice:

“I know. In the past, I was the one at fault, the one at fault… Now, I’ve finally realized,” Su Jian held onto An Yize tightly, “the one I love the most is you…”

An Yize sat there silently and remained motionless.

The sound of his heart beating in his chest was louder than it had ever been.

He didn’t know how to describe how he felt. He could only lift his hand slowly and lightly slide his finger from the person in his embrace’s forehead to the corner of her mouth. Then, he cupped her face.

With her eyes closed, the girl obediently lay in his embrace as if she had finally found the safest place in the world.

An Yize felt his the cockles of his heart start to warm up.

For the past thirty years, he had been confessed to many times and confessed his love as well, but he had never experienced a feeling like this before.

He thought, so it’s like this that when a couple comes together harmoniously.

Footnotes:

[1]Fa Hai is the villain, the Buddhist monk in the Tale of the White Snake

[2]You Can Trust In Me