Ideas

These are the things that get me in trouble

They always reoccur

They can be bad

They can be good

They put allusions in your head

They make you want

Wanting the thing that gets you in trouble every time

Maybe this time it'll work out

Maybe this time it will be different

I'll always have a soft spot for you

No matter what I go through

You'll always have a space in my heart

You broke in a long time ago

Never had the strength to kick you out

It's comfortable

That's what I miss

The feeling of it all

All just so, very comfortable

I never loved you enough to stay

It's okay

Love is just an idea right?

It just blows my mind

An old soul in a young body

I just have this outlook that screws me over

I'm trying to find what's right for me

Yet the only thing I can muster up I s you

You always strike me

It may be good or bad

But it's just you

How can a single person cause this much stress for me

I'm known not to care

Yet I begged

I begged for you

You gave me the worst idea ever,

The idea of us.

I thought we could do it

And I was ready to put you before me

Even my own happiness

Because I loved you that much

I loved every single thing about you

You told me every day how beautiful I was

How perfect I was

how lucky you were

Our timing was what killed us in the end

If only it could have happened later on

I just hope one day you'll see

You'll see what you lost

And what you will never get again

So get that idea out of your head

It hurt you know

Those words you uttered to me that night

"You're the one I'm gonna marry."

Don't say shit like that to me

That really fucks a persons mind up

You're not anything special anymore

It makes me weak

Watching you throw you're life away

When that's the life that you could have spent with me

It breaks my heart

Do you ever

I can't it's stupid

Another stupid idea

A figment of my imagination

Do you ever miss me?

Do I ever cross your mind?

If so I wish you'd tell me

Maybe I don't

I'm nothing anymore

When I used to be everything

A year ago I would have dropped everything for you

But today is a different story

Today I know what's best for me

Today I know where I stand

Today I will love me

Today is another day without you

It's okay

I'm alright

Maybe I should never utter your name again

It's dangerous

It's almost acid coming out of my mouth saying it out loud

You're that story of the one who got away

And it kills me to say it

I will always love you

I will always think of you as the craziest person I knew

The most hillarious

the most caring

You made me feel good

I know that sounds weird

But all of it was

It was all just so weird

You're all I want

Scratch that

You were all I ever wanted

It's clear that we have both changed both have changed our mindset

It was all supposed to be an idea until one day it wasn't

It became the most brutal and heartbreaking reality.