Cycles

You claim to know me inside and out

How can you sit there

Do something

Anything, please

My mind is in another world

Where I can go without you

It haunts me

Failure

The effort

The sacrifice

All of it just for you

I'm not sure how to love

I can't love without effort

Without fire and desire

Sound familiar?

I wouldn't know this pain if it wasn't so damn close to home

I hate him

You know that don't you?

So why be like him?

Talk to me like him

Fight with me like him

My mother claims I'm selfish

Do you also think the same?

Selfish.

All my life I have known one path

My life was desperate of any type of love

Now I feel empty

Where my heart used to be is suffering under the debris

Every time we fight I think about simple times

Dealing with the issues wasn't extreme

It was the aftermath

The ache was supposed to go away

It just got worse because you never changed

Disappointment flushes to my face in the form of tears

Asking God why you can't love me the way I need to be

Or am I not loving you the right way?

I think of these things before I lay my head to rest and count down the seconds until sweet slumber,

Just to do it all over again the next day