18 | truth revealed

After the police officers asked me a few questions about what happened they immediately took Logan with them who protested saying that he didn't do anything and that he was the one who saved me from getting raped by Isaac which both Isaac and I denied so it was obvious for them.

Isaac and I sat down on the floor since I didn't want to sit on the couch because the image of the things that just happened on there didn't want to leave my head. I balled my eyes out and I didn't know whether it was because I was almost raped by my own brother or because I was glad that all the abuse that had taken place these past six years was finally over. I guess it was a mixture of both. Isaac was next to me and whispered comforting words but didn't dare to touch me which I think was very considerate of him based on the things he just seen but I didn't mind Isaac's touch. There hasn't been a single moment where I feared that he would use me the way Logan used me because with Isaac I always felt comfortable and safe. I laid my head on his shoulder to kind of signal him that I wanted him to be close and he seemed to understand the hint and put his arm around my shoulder, pulled my closer to himself and gave me a kiss on the head. I didn't push me to answer all the questions he must have had in his mind and we just sat there in silence enjoying each others' company as we both processed the things that just went down.

I don't know for how long we sat there all I know is that at some point I heard the front door open and dad walked into the apartment and he seemed surprisingly sober.

"Who is that?" he asked as he saw me and Isaac sitting there.

"I'm Isaac" Isaac said as he got up to reach out his hand for my father to shake which he hesitantly did.

"He's a ... friend of mine" I said with a short break in between because I didn't know what to categorize him as. I originally didn't want to call him just a friend because to me he's more than that but I didn't want to call him my boyfriend either because we weren't together. This dating thing is just really complicated.

"It's nice to meet you I guess" my dad said as he nervously rubbed the back of his head which is something he usually does whenever he doesn't know what to do.

"Gavin told me the police was at our apartment is that true?" he asked after some time and I simply nodded. Gavin is one of the friends he regularly goes to the bar with and Gavin is a police officer who must have heard that someone called them to our apartment.

"Why were they here? Did someone break in or something?" he asked but I shook my head as I felt a lump in my throat. I didn't want to say it out loud but I had to. He had to know what happened.

"Logan he tried to- uhm rape me" I said as I watched him intently to see how he would react to it and like I predicted he looked at me like I've grown two heads. Like I was making everything up.

"Logan wouldn't do such a thing. He is your brother Emilia" he said and I heard Isaac huff.

"Due to all respect Mr. Johnson but why would Emilia lie about something like that? She isn't someone who goes around and tells lies about people. She doesn't have the intention to hurt people even if they did the absolute worst to her like your son. Can't you see the condition she's in? As her dad I would expect you to have more concern for the well-being of your daughter" Isaac said with gritted teeth and I grabbed his hand to sooth him so that he wouldn't freak out. I was thankful for the fact that he stood up for me but my father's reaction was kind of predictable and understandable. He loved Logan, he was his son after all. There's no way he would expect him to do something like that.

"Why would he do that?" my dad asked looking at me for an answer.

"He has been sexually abusing me for years" I whispered in quiet tone but both men heard me and looked at me in confusion. Of course both didn't expect to hear an answer like that. They wouldn't have thought that this has been haunting me for so many years but it did. I wish it wouldn't but I can't change it.

"What? How? I don't understand" my father stuttered at a complete loss of words and this was the first time I saw any type of emotion in my father's eyes, except from anger of course.

"You really want to know?" I asked with a raised brow and my father nodded hesitantly.

"I think it's my time to go. Call me if you want to talk" Isaac said and was about to leave but I grabbed his hand, stopping him.

"I don't mind if you hear it, you have a right to know after the way I treated you these past couple of days" I said as I looked up to him and he gave me a comforting smile.

My dad and Isaac sat down on the couch whereas I decided to sit on a stool that I took from the kitchen.

"It started a year after mom left and shortly after the divorce was finalized. You cared less and less for us and our mother never visited, so Logan and I were mostly on our own. In the beginning he never touched me and was only extremely protective of me and now that I'm thinking about it he probably was only scared to lose me as well after our parents gave us up so easily, like we never meant anything to you. But then he started touching me in my private areas and he started kissing me and I had no chance. He's 6 years older than me so what can a 10 year old girl do against her 16 year old brother who goes to the gym regularly like it's a second home? Right. There's nothing she can do to protect herself. And if there's no one to protect you from him what do you do? Right. You let him because there's no escape without making matters worse. So he kept coming into my room almost every night when you were out drinking with your friends again." I said and looked towards my father who had tears in his eyes.

I knew that what I was saying hurt him but in that moment I didn't care because I was even more hurt. He wanted to know the truth and he deserved to know what I've been going throw for almost half my life now.

"I know what you both may think but no Logan never actually raped me. He tried to but never fully went through with it. He made me do things that I'm not comfortable to talk about and he made me do it for more than four years until he left to join the army. But just because he was gone doesn't mean the memories of him making me do all these things brothers and sisters shouldn't do, were gone as well. They stayed. Up to this day I remember almost every inappropriate situation that occurred between us. And I remember how many times you, dad, could have stopped him if you'd only cared. But you didn't. I'm not blaming you for the things that happened to me because Logan is the only one to blame for that. I'm just mad at you for not even asking if I was fine every time you came home and saw your daughter, your own flesh and blood, with tear stained cheeks. The fact that you saw them but never asked almost hurts

more than what Logan did to me" I said as I blinked my tears away.

There was a short silence in the room because no one knew what to say. My dad knew that there was no explanation that would justify what he did or more specifically didn't do.

"Emilia I- I didn't know. I was too caught up in my own shit and all the alcohol that I drank because of the divorce made me feel so numb that I forgot how to care for myself or for other people. There's nothing I can say that would make this better or that would change what happened the only thing I can say is that I'm sorry for disappointing you as a father and that I let this happen under my roof but I can guarantee that I didn't have a single clue which doesn't necessarily make it better but I just wanted you to know that" he said and didn't even try to hide the tears that were rolling down his face. Isaac, who said on his right, didn't say anything. He quietly listened to our convrsation knowing that it was a conversation that was long overdue.

"I have no doubt that you would have stopped him if you knew I know that there is a heart somewhere in you. I knew the person you used to be and I'm sure a part of you is still the same person you were 10 years ago" I said sadly as I remembered me as a child happily hanging out with my father on his day off. I loved him to death and always looked up to him but things have changed. Obviously.

"I'm really tired I think I'll go to bed" I said after a short deafening silence. I got up and Isaac and my dad did so too and before I could even do anything else my father embraced me in a tight, bone-crushing hug and I almost cried because of the familiar feeling of my father's arms around me. He hasn't hugged me ever since my mother left. He hasn't showed any affection ever since then which almost broke me completely but this feeling right now healed almost every wound he teared open. He wouldn't be ble to heal the scars he left but this is a step towards the right direction.

"I know I haven't shown you that I love you but that doesn't mean than I don't because you are everything that I have and I hope you'll let me be a part of the new life you can start now that this piece of shit is gone" my father said referencing to my brother.

"I'd love that" I said with a smile as we parted and my father returned the smile with a small 'thank you' before he sad goodbye and went to bed leaving Isaac and me alone.

"I think it's my cue to leave too" Isaac said

"Do you think you can stay? I really need someone right now" I said pleadingly and he looked at me in shock not expecting such a statement.

"I mean you don't have to of course I was just-" I stuttered once I realized he wasn't answering my question.

"No it's fine I'd love to stay" Isaac said and I shot him a thankful smile.

.....

"How did you even get into the apartment without making too much noise?" I asked Isaac once we both laid in my queen sized bed.

"Remember when I brought you home after our first date at the diner? You grabbed the key out of the flower pot next to the door so when I got here I prayed that the key would still be there and luckily it was. Even if it wasn't I would have broken down the door because I knew that there was something going on. I didn't expect to find him ... you know" he said and I nodded.

"Is that why you called the police before you got here?" I asked and he shook his head.

"I didn't call them. I was as surprised as Logan when they stormed into the apartment" he answered truthfully making me frown. If he didn't call the police then who else did? No one else was in the apartment with us.

"But who else did?"

"I suppose it was Myra. That woman is annoying most of the time but damn you got yourself a loyal ass best friend I'd give her that. I really respect her for looking out for you that much" Isaac said and I had to laugh at him claiming that Myra is annoying because Myra says the exact same thing about him too.

"I really have to thank her for that. I don't know what I did to deserve someone like you both" I sighed and he pulled me closer to his body so that I could snuggle up to him.

"Trust me you deserve way more than someone like me" he said deep in thought.

"I doubt that" I said and yawned. With that I fell asleep after the long and stressful day that I had and I fell asleep in Isaac's arms, feeling as secure as never.

Next Update: Monday March 30th, 2020