Chapter 49
The Abandoned Empress
Finally he said, âSo, in your dream, did you see the dark-haired girl in the year you turned sixteen? She appeared suddenly as if she fell from the sky?â
âYeah. So, everyone said she was the child of Godâs prophecy.â
âI see.â
After watching his hardened face, I decided to cut off the kind of story that could make him feel heartbroken. So, I said I was very unhappy because Jiun engrossed the crown princeâs love, and that I was falsely charged with treason because I was entangled in an unfortunate incident. My fatherâs face already hardened when I confided as far as that.
âGot it. Was it such a vivid dream? I guess you must have gone through a lot of distress.â
âDaddy.â
I thought he might not believe what I said. Because of my recent collapse, I even thought he might rebuke me, saying I was too weak. But I felt immense trust in him when he comforted me without showing any doubt about what I told him.
There was a loud crackling sound when the teapot and teacup entangled in the hem of my jacket hit each other. He was stunned when I suddenly jumped over the table. As he instinctively extended his hands, I jumped comfortably into his arms, sat on his lap, and wrapped my arms around his neck.
âTia?â
When he asked in an embarrassed voice, I replied, burying my face in his chest, âThanks, Daddy.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âThanks for believing me, Daddy.â
He must have noticed my voice tinged with tears. He silently stroked my hair in his arms. I felt drowsy at his gentle touch. When I was about to fall asleep, I heard his low voice.
âHow canât I know my daughter?â
ââ¦â
âTia, I know you are not talking nonsense. I believe what you told me.â
âDaddy, thanks.â
âThatâs why you said you hated him. You must have felt a lot of pressure as you so vividly recall it even if it was a dream.â
My father kept talking to me when I looked up at him blankly.
âAs I heard you, I think I now know why you have been feeling nervous all along.â
â⦠â
âI donât think you would have recklessly talked about the imperial family and even treason if you had not believed it was not true. Even if it had been only a dream, you wouldnât have dared to talk about it unless youâre 100% sure. I now know why you became haggard.â
âWhy donât you scold me?â
âWhy? Scolding you because of the dream?â
When I nodded, he said with a faint smile, âWell, I can rebuke you because youâre weak enough to worry about your dream. There are certainly lots of people in the world who are having a more difficult time than you. But Tia⦠â
âYes, Dad.â
âHow can I judge the severity of each personâs distress? Everyone is precious to themselves.
As far as your dream was concerned, it was your biggest concern, right?â
â⦠â
âDidnât you tell me that you overcame your problem by yourself? That is enough. Even if it was a small concern from an objective point of view, I canât say you are weak if you have overcome it by yourself. Iâm proud of you because you have overcome it by yourself.â
I felt relieved at his warm encouragement. I was also puzzled. Why was he hard on me at that time? When I looked up at him with a puzzled expression, he stopped stroking my hair for a moment.
âWhy did you do that to me previously?â
âYes, I know.â
âBack then⦠Wellâ¦â My father was obviously hesitant, but in no time he said with a sigh, âI knew you seemed to be worried about something, but you looked much more serious after you returned from the estate. Although I wanted to talk it out with you several times, I put up with it again. â
â⦠â
âI was nervous that you were becoming more and more haggard everyday, and my heart sank when I received a letter about you. The moment I found you spaced out, I felt as if the sky was going to fall. I blamed myself, thinking if I had pressed you to tell me the whole truth early on, you would not have ended up losing your mind. I lost your mother without even having her treated. So, I was afraid I might lose you, too.â
â⦠â
âFirst of all, I felt it regrettable that you didnât tell me anything until your condition got so serious. I got upset with myself because I thought I was not good enough to get your trust.â
I tightened my arms around his neck.
âThatâs why I think I pressured you too much. Iâm sorry, Tia. â
âNo, you didnât, Daddy.â I replied with a tearful voice. I really didnât know my father thought so.
I was so sorry that I didnât have anything to say.
âSorry, Dad. I was wrong. â
âNo. Iâm sorry, honey.â
âIâm sorry I couldnât tell you early on. Iâm really sorry.â
âI feel good as you say so, Tia. But promise me you will never repeat this. If you have any concerns next time, please tell me.â
âSure, I promise you, Daddy.â
My father raised his body with a faint smile. I opened my eyes wide when I felt floating in the air.
âOops! Dad?â
âHmm, I should tell them to clean the floor.â
âAh.â
Looking down on the floor, I saw a carpet messed with spilled tea and broken pieces of porcelain. Embarrassed by what I did on impulse, I buried my face in his arms.
I felt the regular vibrations of his heart when he walked. As I liked that feeling, I rubbed my cheeks gently.
âThank you, thank you very much, Daddy.â
âItâs late at night. You have to sleep now.â
He put me down on my bed and pulled the blanket over me.
I felt drowsy when he gently patted my shoulder. Hearing him whisper something to me, I fell asleep in no time.
When I was having breakfast with my father, an imperial messenger, who was familiar to me by now, came to me. I was curious why the emperor was looking for me now when the crown prince was absent, but I agreed obediently because I planned to see him anyway after returning from the estate.
âI, Aristia La Monique, am honored to greet Your Majesty, the Sun of the empire.â
âOh, long time, no see, Aristia. Are you completely back now? â
âThatâs right.â
âGood. I think I can see your father often now. â
âPardon?â
When I tilted my head, he said with a hearty laugh, âYou know what happened when you were away at the estate? Your father, who has never taken vacation leave since he entered politics, asked for vacation leave.â
âAh.â
Come to think of it, my father took a one-month vacation leave when he went down to the estate with me. After that, he spent one or two nights every month at the estate after taking vacation leave, then went back to the capital. Considering that it took two days to come and go from the capital to the estate, he took at least seven days of vacation leave per month while I was staying at the estate. Looking at me curiously, the emperor smiled at me and said, âYou donât have to look at me like that. Iâm amazed by the fact that a blunt person like your father has loved you so dearly. What a relief! I thought he had no feelings after his wife passed away like that.â
â⦠ân/o/vel/b//in dot c//om
âWell, although he looks emotionless, he was once regarded as the romanticist of the century.â
Romanticist of the century? Really? When I blinked at his significant words, the emperor again smiled and lifted the mug.
âBy the way, did Rubâ stop by your estate? I heard he also planned to visit your mansion there.â
âYes, he visited a while ago.â
âGood.â He responded with a low voice and remained silent.
Given that he was looking out the window, lost in thought, I felt he was sort of sentimental.
âIt looks like winter is coming soon.â
I silently drank tea in order not to disturb his idle thoughts.
âDo you like winter?â
At that moment I was startled at his sudden question and raised my head. He was holding the cup with both hands, with his eyes still looking out the window.
âYes I do, Your Majesty.â
âOh, thatâs contrary to what Iâ¦â
âPardon, Your Majesty? Contrary?â