NINETEEN

Word Count: 1702

~Akara

The weight of the room bears heavily on me, to the point I can't stand it anymore, and rush out of the room.

Both Marek and Tai follow me, but none of them know what to say. They could either allow me to live, and turn into an irredeemable monster and completely lose my sense or self, or they could be merciful and let me die.

"You have to kill me," I demand. If they won't do it, I'll do it to myself.

Marek steps forward, looking like he wants to reach out and touch me, but I don't think I could handle it right now. "Akara, don't..."

"It needs to be done." I'm pacing back and forth, long grass rubbing against my legs. Nothing is relevant in my mind anymore. All that matters is my impending doom, and how inevitable it is. "Tai, you will do it."

Tai's eyes widen and he looks disgusted. "You're asking me to kill you?"

"Do you want to see me become a monster?" I ask. It's like I can already feel the foreignness in my veins. I'm losing control, the feeling of it slipping away from me with every passing moment. Especially when my emotions to swell, my breaking point severely lowered.

What exactly will happen if I hit it, I don't want to know.

Tai rakes his hands through his head, stressed. "No...No, of course not. But-"

"You did this to me. You owe me this," I remind him. He can't be so surprised that his unnatural creation would have adverse effects. Tai's final act of retribution to me can be to end my life as peacefully and swiftly as possible.

"You can't ask me to do that," he growls. He sounds as though he is on the edge of panic and anger. I wouldn't ask anyone else to do that, not wanting to put that kind of burden on them. But Tai is responsible for this, and I feel no guilt putting this on him.

I continue my pacing, unable to keep still. "Someone has to, or I'll do it myself."

"Akara, you need to breathe, and think about this, okay?" Marek says, stepping forward to grab my arm, stopping me in my tracks. "You're not going to die. We are going to find a way to stop this."

The look in his eyes steadies me. I wish I could be as sensible as he is, as rational. To him, we have time to remedy this, believing that there may be someone out there that has an answer to this problem. But I can feel parts of myself slipping away, becoming unfamiliar, others unreachable.

"I've been having nightmares every night, I've been having random pain. It's happening already," I tell him, letting him hold my shoulders, his tight grip centring me.

"I'm with Marek on this one. We will find another way," Tai says from behind Marek.

Pulling away from Marek, I stand square in front of Tai, knowing what I need to do next. "You need to get out of my life, Tai. I don't want to have to see you anymore."

I don't have much longer left, and even if I did, I've decided I don't want Tai near me anymore. The longer he is around me, the more I'm left to ponder my fate, and who I'm about to become. I want him in my past, far away from me and the life I want to live...Or what is left of my life.

"Akara-" Tai breaks off.

"I should have died in the river. I wish I had, like Evolet did. You should not have intervened, but you did, and now I'm sitting here, about to turn into a monster," I tell him, my voice raising. I'm surprised Zavian, Clea and Nakoa haven't come out from wherever they went off to with all this commotion.

"You know this is the last thing I wanted," he breathes, looking over me. He should have told me he wanted to give me the cure. He should have told me what could have happened, and let me make the decision for myself, for my own body and fate.

I grit my teeth. "I just need you to leave. I need you out of my life, Tai. I can't sit here and pretend like you haven't ruined my life."

"How can I walk away when I don't know I'll see you again?" he asks, voice breaking.

"Because I'm asking you to."

"Everything I did was because I cared about you. I was trying to save you," he tells me, but it doesn't matter. What is done is done, and it cannot be taken aback. If he truly saw a future with me, he would have told me before everything went down, and he would have prepared me for what could have happened.

"I know," I say. "Marek and I, and everyone else are going to try find a way to stop this. And if we do, I will see you again."

I don't believe there is a way to remedy this, but if there is, I don't want Tai around for it. Nobody can concentrate when they are holding in their hatred for him, including Zavian and Nakoa.

Tai's eyes glisten, looking as though he is going to cry. I don't believe it, not this time. "You really want me to leave?"

"Yes Tai, I really want you to," I say.

Despite myself, my heart aches. I did love him, and at one point, I did see a future for us. But now, this feels right. Maybe one day I will come back to him, and forgive him, but it will only ever be a friendship we would be repairing, not a relationship.

"Goodbye then," he murmurs, backing away, giving me a chance to go back on my decision. I don't though, holding his gaze before he turns to walk away.

"Goodbye," I whisper.

Marek and I both watch Tai walk to the carriage, getting in before it departs. Nothing is said between us, and I'm grateful, trying to fight off the conflicting emotions swelling up within me. I don't know where he is going to go, but I know that if I need to find him again, he won't be too hard to track down.

Marek slides his hand across my back. "We are going to help you, Akara. I'm won't let anything happen to you."

I shake my head. "It's too late."

"Come back inside. We will stay here tonight, then we will return to the Emerald Province. Perhaps Tyrien can help us," Marek offers gently.

Tyrien rules over all Provinces, so if anyone is going to have answers, it would be him. And getting out of this Province would be good, dragging me away from all the reminders that are plunging my emotions into darkness.

"Okay...You're right," I sigh. "I think I need to go for a walk though, to clear my head."

Marek nods, understanding what is plaguing me. "Alright. I understand.

I don't believe Marek. There isn't help. I'm going to go to the Emerald Province, and Marek isn't going to want to kill me, and it will be too late, I would have turned into a Snow Demon.

The forest doesn't soothe me though, as I trek through it. It reminds me of when I was just a normal girl in my home village, enjoying my peaceful life, while silently wishing I had more. Now that I have it, I feel foolish for ever wanting that.

I make it to a nearby village not too far from Clea's mother's house, and immediately seek out a small shop tucked into the edge of the village. I've seen places like this before, where they collect herbs from nearby, and either use them to heal people, or to create poisons for dangerous native Tani.

A lady at the end of the shop peeks around bush of rosemary when I walk in. "Do you need something."

"I need to know if you have any poisonous herbs," I say, looking around the shop. I don't recognise most of these, and wouldn't be able to tell which could kill me from a first glance. I just hope this lady doesn't ask questions, because there is no way I could explain my situation to her without sounding insane.

"What for?" she asks speculatively, folding her arms over her chest.

My jaw clenches. "Do you have any, or not?"

"Of course I do. But only for particular use," she mutters. She's suspicious of my intentions, which I can't blame her for. But I can't leave here without some. I don't need to use them right now, but I'll be able to if things don't go our way in the future.

"If I pay you, does it matter what I use them for?" I question, fisting the money in my pocket.

She shakes her head, sighing irritably. "I'm going to walk away now."

No. I'm not going to have a chance like this again if she doesn't give me the herbs. Marek won't allow this, and neither will Zavian and Nakoa.

Feeling panic start to rise up within me, I stride toward her. "Stop."

All of a sudden, I feel a shift in myself. It's subtle, but a faint ebb gathers between my temples, a silent warning that something is happening that I can't predict.

The woman turns around, ready to protest, although stops short, staring at me with a horrified expression on her face. She stumbles backward, before ripping the curtain that covers the entrance to the back of her shop, and disappears.

I watch her, confused.

Shaking my head, I turn to leave, before catching the slightest glimpse of myself in the reflection of the glass.

I nearly throw up, horror consuming me. My fingers reach up and touch my face, and sure enough, it's not my own, but the woman's. Realisation strikes me square in the stomach, and I almost double over.

I'm a Summoner.

💚••💚

Remember that you can always find this story 10 chapters ahead on Radish (:

You will find it under King's Possession Season Three!!

~Midika 🐼💜