Steeling Her: Chapter 38

“We need to get her up to bed. Where’s Chris?” TJ wonders, looking around for the girl on my shoulder’s brother who had disappeared to find his girlfriend and to stop her from waking up their daughter. Tonight was fun, but now it’s turned into such a mess.

I can feel Carter’s breath on my neck as she inhales deeply and releases it once more. I haven’t forgotten what she said. I know she realizes it’s me she’s holding onto, but I don’t think it fully clicked that she probably shouldn’t be close to me.

“Gone to find Danielle.” Haley waves it off and focuses on kissing my best friend again. I scrunch up my nose in disgust at the sight. After almost six years of being together, I’m still not used to it. TJ grabs her ass in both hands; she squeals on his lips and giggles flirtatiously back at her fiancé who thinks he can do that in front of his future brother-in-law.

“Stop! TJ, Haley, go get him!” I scold her.

“No, you go get him!” she whines while not taking her eyes off TJ. I groan and look to Jason for some help, but he’s too busy searching the refrigerator for some additional food. No wonder why he and Chris are such good friends, they never stop eating.

“Haley, I’m a little busy right now. Just fucking get them!” I’m trying to keep Carter upright in case she slides off the countertop and falls not so graciously onto the hard floor. If I move and let go of her to push Haley to find them, she will fall and I don’t want that to happen.

I want to keep her in my arms for as long as possible, but I know she needs to go to sleep. She needs to lie down and rest. She’s mumbling incoherent things onto my skin. I know she’s not in her right mind. I can feel her lips on my neck and it makes my hairs stand up and remember the nights we spent together between the sheets, where I kissed every inch of her beautiful body.

“Weh, weh, weh!” Haley fake cries as TJ pulls her closer while laughing. They think this is funny? Carter is wasted and needs to find a bed. I’m sure Chris won’t mind her crashing here with him and Danielle.

“And that is why Ellie is my favorite,” I say pointedly, knowing that it would piss her off. “At least she acts her fucking age,” I mutter and focus back on the girl who I know has fallen asleep on me, muttering things in her dreams. I can feel my sister’s glare on the back of my head. I know my little diss got to her. That, and the fact that TJ keeps telling her that he’s her favorite.

Weak bitch.

I stare down at Sleeping Beauty in my arms and indisputably decide to go find her a room myself. If nobody wants to help, I’ll do it on my own.

I lift her off the counter and into my arms. She curls into me as I carry her out the door with her arms loosely wrapped around my shoulders to keep herself somewhat upright.

“Where are you going?” TJ probes me, and I crane my neck around slowly to face him. I don’t want to make any jerking movements to wake her up.

“I’m taking her up to bed. Seeing as nobody wants to fucking help me, I’ll do it on my own,” I reply back with a growl and begin my walk through the very fancy foyer. I see two large staircases on either side go up to the next floor and climb one of them to find a room for her. I hadn’t really noticed the interior as I was too preoccupied with Carter’s niece wanting to be my friend.

Once I reach the top, there are two options: left or right. I huff harshly as I check each side, both cloaked in darkness, and decide to go left. As I walk down the dark hallway, I can’t hear anything other than Carter’s breathing. It is dead silent and I have to feel my way down as my eyes adjust to the sudden darkness. Carter is sound asleep in my arms, where she belongs. I miss holding her like this.

I walk down to the first door and listen in to hear any movement.

Nothing, so I turn the handle; it won’t open. I try the door across from it and it’s the same. They must lock doors to keep Taylor out. The next door I try ends up being a gym, which I presume is used by Chris. The one across from it is a bathroom.

The next one I thought wouldn’t open, but it actually does and I see a shirtless Chris on top of Danielle in a heated kiss. I curse shut the door as quickly as I possibly could.

“I’m sorry!” I apologize and blindly stride down the hallway further but the door behind me swings open and I feel a hand on my shoulder tugging me back.

“What the fu—” Chris begins but his eyes drop to his sister who is breathing softly and is wrapped around me. His eyes soften when he sees her and I totally get why. She’s so beautiful when she sleeps—so delicate.

“I was trying to find a room for her,” I whisper and explain myself. “She needs to rest.” I point to her and he nods, agreeing with me.

Meeting my eyes, he stares at me for a little while, almost like he’s reading me—analyzing me. He looks past me and down into the darkness.

“The second to the last door on this side is free. It’s where she normally stays. Set her down there and I’ll go and get a shirt on and meet you down there.” He turns back but not without a second glance at me; one where his eyes light up with curiosity.

I follow his instructions and take her down to the room he told me. As I push the handle down, the door opens with relative ease. I proceed with caution once I know nobody is in here. There is a small light on the bedside table that’s switched on, so I can see where I’m going. It illuminates the beige walls with white and baby blue furniture. I would have never thought that those shades go together, but they do.

There is a large double bed in the center of the room. A floor to ceiling mirror hangs on the opposite wall. An extravagantly large window that looks to have a balcony outside is covered by light curtains decorated with lace on the edges. There are a few pictures hanging at eye level around the room and a few signed jerseys by old players hang proudly beside it. The first Steel jersey is hanging on its own with a picture of her father right above her bed. Giants memorabilia along with the Chargers are on separate sides of the room. I chuckle at the rivalry that extends even in home decor.

I lift her up higher in my arms and set her down on the bed. As she lays still, I admire her for a moment, then decide to slip off her heels and set them over to the side of the light blue armchair with white stripes that’s backed against the wall with a small glass table next to it.

I lift her up slightly to peel back the duvet and lay her back down again. Then I lift her legs up so I can bring the duvet up her body so she’s comfortable and warm.

She stirs a little, and I can see her eyelashes begin to flutter open to look intently up at me. I tuck her in and she sighs again, not closing her eyes again. She just stares at me.

My heart is in two just ogling her. The way she used to look at me is the way she is currently looking at me, causing my veins to catch fire with a burst of energy flooding through me. I’m heartbroken to think that I broke this girl. I broke her down with the stupid and naive choice I made. It was my mistake.

Her hair had fallen across her forehead and before I knew what I was doing, I fix it back into place and tuck it behind her ear. The touch of her skin sets my own on fire. It still affects me.

That’s when her eyes shut close. She leans into my touch and exhales, like she missed it and was remembering it all again. I am having flashbacks of holding on to her and cuddling with her in bed. The way her skin would feel against mine. It was always so cold, and I helped heat her up. I think she wanted the warmth—my warmth. I trace her lips with my eyes, missing how I used to kiss them. They still looked the same, inviting, like the very first time I kissed her.

“Goodnight,” I whisper and take my hand away from her face. I know I’m overstepping, but damn, I want her back. I want her back in my life as my woman. Tonight has only amplified how much I need her back, how much I need to win her heart again and how I need to steal her from . . . him. I need to prove to her how much I still love her and that I’ve never stopped. I won’t stop until I have her.

Light breaths puff out from her mouth, letting me know that she has fallen back to sleep. I know it’s my time to leave her so she can sleep soundly. I rise back up to my feet after deciding it’s time for me to leave.

As I do, I’m met with her brother standing by the door, watching me. I look away and continue to leave the room she’s in but I’m blocked by his meaty frame. I have no choice but to look at him, so I brave it once more. I stand my ground and stare into his eyes, which are similar to his sister’s, and he bobs his head. I don’t know why he did that. It was something I wasn’t expecting. I was anticipating a warning from him, but that never came.

Moving to the side to let me pass, he moves around me to get inside and I leave for him to take care of her. I inaudibly wish it was me. I walk down the way I came up and hurry back to everyone else, who were talking in the kitchen. Danielle must be still upstairs. I would say she could be embarrassed by me walking in on her and Chris having a moment, but I don’t think she realized. Chris, however, did.

***

Dear Miss Carter Steel, We’re glad to inform you that we’re currently recruiting new physical therapists for the Los Angeles Charger’s National Football League Team this year. You have been selected to arrange an interview if you choose to do so.

Your growing clientele has caught our eye, along with strong reviews of your aid for past and present athletes that have visited your clinic.

Our contact details are highlighted below, and we look forward to hearing from you sometime in the near future.

We would be delighted to make you a part of the team.

Lynn St. James.

Lead Recruitment Agent.

That letter is the only thing I’ve read this morning. Over and over in my head, I scan the words mindlessly, hoping that it’ll sink in, but I know it won’t. I’m still standing over my desk and still reading the words that are in black ink telling me the LA Chargers want to interview me.

This has been my dream.

My one dream. Not to work for the Chargers, but to work in the NFL as a physical therapist. I get work in the sport that I absolutely love to watch and know inside out. It’s the one thing that I’ve wanted, and now it’s right in front of me; literally and figuratively.

“Knock, knock,” Candice says through the door and leans on it. The shock on my face still hasn’t worn off and Candice picks up on this instantly as I sit on my desk with the letter in my hand. I need to sit before I collapse onto the ground. “Either you’re pregnant or have a ring on that finger,” she jokes. I snort and stand on my own two feet.

“It’s neither. Here, read this.” I let her come into my office and hand her the letter. She greedily takes the paper. I watch her eyes roam over the black ink. As she reads, her eyes become wider and wider until she starts hopping from foot to foot, laughing.

“What! Are you serious?” she yells as she bounces up and down beside me. I couldn’t help but laugh at her expression because that’s exactly what her kids do when they’re excited. We’re both so excited over this letter.

“It looks legit, right?” I ask her. She opens the paper again to look at it, then sniffs it and holds it up to the light. I couldn’t stop laughing at her dramatics. I smack her in the upper arm playfully while we both chuckle at this news in my office.

“Oh my fucking God! I’m so jealous! So, so jealous. You’ll have all the hot, sweaty athletes all up on you, girl! You have to put me on the visitor’s list!” She laughs and hands me back the letter. I store it in my drawer and lock it. I can’t trust most people who work here. Most of the people here trample on each other so they can get ahead in life. It only works for a short amount of time until you start to fall back into your place.

“I haven’t gotten the job yet.” I smile.

“Yet? You going to try then?” she ask and gestures her head outside the door, signaling we should get going to our morning meeting with the boss himself. We have a staff meeting for this morning that we hold every month as well as a quarterly report. I’ve been so busy that I haven’t had much time to look at any of our progress, but everyone is back in work. I was planning on doing some work yesterday, but I still had a very bad hangover with a hint of embarrassment. Actually, a lot of embarrassment.

I woke up at Chris and Danielle’s house, mortified and sick as a dog. Dear God, that had to be the worst I’ve ever felt. I couldn’t move out of bed until dinner time came around. I was so bad that I stayed at their house until Sunday. Chris then dropped me home and stayed with me for a little while until I was feeling a little better. I still haven’t managed to eat a solid meal without feeling queasy. Ted wasn’t happy that I had canceled on him when I learned that the football game wasn’t until next Sunday.

I will never drink that much again.

Never.

“What have I got to lose? If I don’t try, I will be kicking myself for not trying in the future. I could love it if I get it, or I could hate it? I’ll never know until I give it a shot.” I shrug but start to plan when I will call the sender to arrange the meeting. I’m determined to get this job. I’d love if I can get it, but I wouldn’t get upset if I don’t. Only the best is hired, and being the best comes with a ton of experience, which I will get if I keep working hard.

“Right! I’m so proud of you!” She hugs me and I wrap my arms around her too.

“Thanks.” I squeeze her back, tightening my shoulders up in the process.

“Let’s go before we get into trouble for being late.” She rolls her eyes and we enter the canteen where everyone has gathered for our meeting. People are seated sparsely up against the wall with their arms folded over their chests, and others wander in behind me and Candice as we walk through the door. We both take our spots near the back of the canteen under the TV hanging high on the wall. It’s the only room in the building that allows all of the company’s employees to fit, so we usually have meetings in here.

Our owner is here today and is ready for the meeting. When he’s here, it’s not as bad because he’s quick with informing us on what we need to know, whereas with Dallas, she and Jody would take years to speak and it usually reverts to their own successes and not others.

So everyone is in good spirits because John McKane has arrived into the office. For someone who owns many physical therapy clinics, I admire that he has time to visit them all. When he comes to update us on performance and to speak about our future targets for the month, quarter, and year, it’s usually very tense. But that’s needed in this industry.

The loud clap of his hands gathers everyone’s attention instantly. Silence hangs in the air as we wait for John to speak.

With a beaming smile at everyone, he looks around the room. Him rolling his hands against each other was a tell-tale sign of one thing and one thing only: he’s a happy man.

“Thank you all for joining me today. I will make this brief so you all can carry on working. I know some of you are swamped with clients these days, and I appreciate the hard work you all put into this practice. I’ve gathered you here for a quick update on the company. I’m planning on opening a new office in Santa Barbara next year.” He opens the meeting with a very surprising announcement. “The money this office has brought in for the last three years has allowed me to do it. We are currently renovating it at the moment and are building it from the ground up. If anyone lives in that area and would like to switch when it opens, you’re welcome to do so. Dallas, Cassandra, and I will be holding interviews for people in three months’ time, so if you have anyone you know looking for some work and you trust, tell them to apply.”

I knew we were doing very well, but I didn’t realize we were doing well enough to open another clinic. That sounds very exciting for the business. “As you have guessed by now, we made a huge amount this year. It’s our best year to date, and I’m so amazed by the work you all put in every day! Keep up the good work! As a reward, each one of you will get a Christmas bonus this year.” That’s when the chatter picks back up. Everyone is stunned by the generosity from him. He rarely gives them out at all; unless you bring in a huge clientele, then he’ll consider it, but rarely will he actually give it.

Effectively, this has us all surprised. This is a very good Monday for us all.

We get shushed by Dallas and Jody for talking too loudly. I had to stop the eye roll that was going to happen. Jody thinks she’s the manager of everyone and that she’s on the same level as Dallas, who actually is our manager. Jody is on the same level as the rest of us, and I have more daily clients than she does. She barely works at all. She’s always painting her nails, or fixing her makeup, or going out shopping.

“I hope you all continue to work hard. If you ever need anything or need to talk to me about anything, just pick up the phone and give me a call. I may not be physically around to help you but I will try,” John ends on that quick note. I debate on whether to pull him aside and let him know about the letter I received today, but I quickly decide against it and keep it between me and Candice for now. If I get offered the position, I’ll talk to him about it.

“Thank you so much John for those kind words. Amazing achievement, team. Keep up the good work.” Dallas claps John out the door while complementing us.

“Good job, guys!” Jody chimes in, and everyone couldn’t hold in the eye roll. We were waiting for her to speak up. She always has to have the very last word in everything.

As we all walk back to the main waiting area, I get pulled back to the side. Seeing Jody’s claws in my arm, I shake myself out of her grip to stop them from sinking further into me.

“Yes, Jody?” I ask her. She straightens up and releases her grip on me just as our manager walked by.

“I just wanted to thank you so much for talking my clients last week, Carter. You really didn’t have to, I appreciate the work you did for me.” Her eyes follow Dallas, who is behind me, until she’s out of hearing range. “So, I see Ms. Capri wants to keep you for good. The old bag isn’t even worth the money,” Jody comments and stares at her nail polish. She loves to bitch about her clients while I don’t even bother entertaining her. I liked Ms. Capri. The difference is, I have patience while Jody doesn’t.

“She’s thirty-four, Jody. She’s not old,” I reply and she shrugs.

“That’s old, Carter,” she points out but then stops herself. She stares at me in a complete daze, then squints her eyes into slits like she’s thinking about something. “Isn’t your name supposed to a boy’s name?” she asks randomly, confusing me. Still staying on the spot and thinking about what she just asked, she spins around on her heel and calls over her shoulder back at me, “Keep the old bag, I don’t want her anymore.” She waves me off like she’s giving me her hand-me-downs.

I stand there completely confused as to what the hell just happened. What was that all about?

She’s never commented on my name or on me before. I’ve never given her a reason to. I stay out of her way all of the time, so I don’t understand where this sudden judgmental question is coming from.

I breathe forcefully and make my way back to my office to check who and when my first client is coming in to see me.

“Mr. Daniels,” I mumble reading off the screen on my computer. I seat myself and push back to roll to the cabinet behind me to find his file so I can read up on what I assigned him to do last time he was here and to check and see if he has done it and done it correctly. I don’t like to give instructions to some of my clients, but sometimes, you have to drill it into them in order for them to do it correctly. It’s their health after all, and they’re paying good money for my help.

In a flash of time, my calendar sends me a reminder that he should be arriving any minute now. I set up the bed with some tissue paper and spray my room with a hint of lavender.

I open my door and walk into the reception area and over to Sydney, who is sitting behind the desk. “Hey, Syd, has Mr. Daniels arrived yet?” I ask her as each person that walks in must check in for health and safety reasons, just in case.

She scans the clipboard in front of her as I scan the waiting room briefly. “Yes, he’s here alright. He might be sitting behind the pillar.” She points in a direction of one of the blind spots in the room. As I make my way around her desk and over to where he might be sitting, I see him reading a newspaper intently. He doesn’t even hear me approach him.

“Mr. Daniels,” I greet him and he sets the paper down as he lifts his eyes to meet mine. With a smile and a nod, he stands up to join me. “If you could just follow me, we can get started.” I nod over to my door and he walks alongside me.

“Thank you. How are you?” he makes small talk. He’s generally a quiet man but I do like helping him out.

“I’m very well, and you? How is your wife?” His wife has been in and out of hospital recently. They aren’t young people. He came home from a session with me to find her lying at the bottom of the stairs. He thinks she tripped and fell down. I felt terrible for him when he had called me to cancel our next session. I understood completely but still asked him to keep doing his exercises while he visited her.

His wife came back with a slipped disc and a ton of bruises on her pale skin. He would call me sometimes to keep me up to date with his progress as well as hers, which I thought was very sweet of him.

“Oh, she’s doing much better now. The doctors said she’ll be out in less than three weeks, which is very good to hear. I miss her dearly.” He smiles sorrowfully at me while I tap on the bed for him to sit up so I can begin.

“That’s very good to hear. Now, you have to look after her; she needs all the help she can get.” I wink at him while he gets comfortable sitting on the edge of the bed with his legs dangling freely.

“Oh, I will, my daughter Chrissy said she’d come to stay with us for the month after she comes home in case anything happens to either of us. Chrissy is very good like that. You remind me of her, come to think of it,” he complements me. I smile back at him and thank him. He has shown me pictures of his daughters and their kids, naming each one of them off and what they’re like. He used to tell me some wild stories about his children when they were younger and the all the mischievous tales that came with taking care of them.

As we begin the scheduled session, I get him to talk about Mrs. Daniels for the duration because that’s what he seems to want to talk about. He talks about how they met even though I’ve already heard it from her whenever she comes in with him to see me for the quick session on his hip, then he tells me about how they both go for a small walk along the beach together afterwards.

“You did a good job today. I’m happy with your progress. You’ve been doing what I’ve asked of you and I’m happy, Mr. Daniels. You don’t need to see me for a little while if you keep doing the exercises. What I want you to do next is go for a walk on the beach once a week and then increase it to two, alright? I’ll see you in three weeks’ time to check up on you. Is that alright?” I ask him and he sends me two thumbs up.

“Provided Eleonora is alright,” he reminds me and I nod, understanding that if he wants to change it, he can. I have no problem with it. All he has to do is call up the clinic and we can sort that out for him.

I see him out and wave him goodbye, making sure he gets into the car easily. As soon as he drives off, I’m back in my office to check who I have next. I’m booked out until lunchtime, then I have a break after lunch too.

Lunchtime came around fast, and my stomach was dying for a good meal. I was in need of one. It did nothing but growl the entire time.

As I made my way into the kitchen to heat up what I made the night before in the microwave, there were a lot of people coming in to do the same.

Someone switches on the TV for some background noise. Music blares throughout the kitchen because of a commercial and a few of the women stopped to look at it.

“Dear Lord, did you see that sexy new Chargers quarterback? That man is too fine for his own good,” Candice comments and I snap my head around to see Nick’s face, but when the beat kicks in, it zooms out to his naked torso with multiple women’s hands and arms draped over his body. I guess he’s sponsored by Armani now. Judging by how this is a cologne commercial, I can tell that he is.

He’s still got it. There’s not one thing about him that has changed. It’s hard to make out his body with the arms covering him and wanting a piece of him. I feel a sting in my heart when I stare at him. That jawline is still razor sharp as it contrasts the black background. The woman draped over him, wanting a part of him, is not surprising but I can’t help but feel peeved just seeing it. That smirk etched finely on his face makes him look so sexy, he has the women in the office panting and picking their underwear off the floor.

I could feel my stomach tighten just by looking at him. His eyes connect with mine through the TV and I try not to gasp. Then I remind myself that he’s looking at other women and making them feel this way, too, and that I’m also not single.

I’m taken. I have no right to feel this way.

“Um, excuse me for interrupting, guys and gals. Carter, you have someone here to see you.” I spin around on my heel, begrudgingly tearing my eyes away from my gorgeous ex-boyfriend to meet none other than my gorgeous ex-boyfriend standing in the doorway of our canteen. His eyes flick to the screen behind me and he sends us a tight smile, knowing that the girls are admiring him as we speak. Once he realizes that he’s on the screen, he looks away and tried to find me.

“Oh my God! That’s you!” Clare, the newest hire in the company, squeals in disbelief. She’s having a fangirl moment with him, and I can’t fault her for that because the entire canteen is immobile as soon as he walks in, including me.

“Uh, yeah. Carter, can I speak with you for a second?” He gestures his head out the door and I follow him. I know I have to answer a lot of questions. As we walk down the hallway with Dallas behind us, I’m looking at my feet moving at a quick pace. Dallas excuses herself when she hears her phone calling for her. She’s always on the go and barely has time for lunch, so she usually eats in her office. Unless it’s Friday, then she and Jody go out for lunch.

“Come back for seconds, Nick?” a voice seductively asks him from the office opposite mine just as we are about to go in.

Jody is standing there with her bag ready to leave for lunch but then she drops it on the floor and starts flirting with Nick with lust in her eyes. They know each other? How?

“Shit,” he curses beside me. I turn my attention towards him to look for an explanation. He’s staring back at me, and I can’t tear my eyes away from those beautiful hunter-green eyes of his. There’s a guilt-stricken look filling them and I couldn’t help but wonder what is happening.

“You two know each other?” I ask him. He squeezes his eyes instantly and runs his hand down his face, inhaling severely; a tell-tale sign that he doesn’t want to talk about it.

“Yeah, we slept together on the flight back here. It was a bumpy one, right, Nick?” She strides confidently across the hallway to us and I nearly step in front of Nick to stop her from touching him, but I have no right. We’re not together anymore. He’s a free man, he can do what he wants. And he already did.

“Stop. Talking. Julie.” He gets her name wrong. I don’t know if it was on purpose to annoy her or he legitimately doesn’t remember her name, because she’s fuming right now.

“It’s Jody, you asshole. And how do you two know each other anyway!” She stands directly in front of him, flicking her eyes to me. She trails her eyes on my figure in a condescending manner to make me feel small. I could see the fire brewing behind her dark eyes, and I that pray Nick didn’t tell her.

“That’s none of—” I try to say but Nick shut us both up.

“We dated in college,” Nick interrupts me. I sigh and move back away from her. They slept together?

I have no right to feel like this. Yet, why do I feel so . . . jealous?

I can’t help my emotions. No matter how hard I try to deny it, I’m still stupidly crazy about him. However, he’s clearly not crazy about me.

Jody laughs loudly in my office, gaining a few onlookers’ attention. People poke their heads out of the canteen to watch an episode of “90210” unfold before their very eyes.

“Yeah, right!” She continues to laugh while I shrink to the size of an ant. Nobody ever believes that Nick and I dated in college. I knew we were an unlikely couple, but we were still a couple. It hurts whenever someone laughs about the fact that we were once an item.

They all laugh at why he would choose me.

Then she stops instantly. Her face drops as she thinks of something, and I furrow my brows at her, wondering what is going through her head. She stares at me for the longest time and then flicks her attention back to Nick. Then back to me, then to Nick, then back to me. Something is piecing together in her mind, and I’m not sure what it is. Does she want another round with him?

What she does next shocks me and our manager, who came out of her office just in time. Her heels catch my attention but the loud smack occupies my hearing. Jody screeches loudly and slaps Nick across the face, causing me to gasp and cover my mouth.

“Jody!” our manager yells and stomps back down to us.

“That’s the Carter! THAT’S HER! Are you fucking serious!” she screeches. Now I’m completely lost. She steps into my space, intimidating me intensely, so I step back a little to get some air.

What does she mean by “The Carter”? I wanted to ask, but I ’don’t need to because Jody answers my question.

“You’re an asshole, Nick! You fucked me but thought of her the whole time, didn’t you?” I gasp and turn my head to face him. He shuts his eyes again. “Didn’t you!” She pushes him.

You would swear that he cheated on her’. Jody is used to getting her way, hence the big blow out, but I didn’t think she’d throw this big of a tantrum.

They’re not dating, thank god.

I knew Nick was single and he can do what he wants, but I can’t lie and say that it doesn’t hurt hearing him going back to his old ways. I wasn’t expecting him to stop sleeping with girls completely, but I’ve heard of rumors in the NFL of him sleeping around like he used to before we met. He’s slipped back into the old player routine.

“Get into my office. Now!” Dallas orders Jody, but first, she has to apologize to Nick for her outburst. Once she finishes apologizing, she pushes a glaring Jody into her office and comes back up to talk to him. “I hope this won’t cause a conflict in our services. Carter is one of the best on our team. You chose the right one to help you.” She smiles at him, trying to smooth over what just happened. “I’m so terribly sorry, Mr. Jackson. It won’t happen again, I can promise you that.” She shuffles back down to her office to keep the demon in her cage.

I’m still in shock, and so is Nick but he nods anyway.

He slept with her? Her of all fucking people in his entire state? Is he—

Why are you mad? I thought you were over him, my subconscious teases me.

I am over him, I tell myself.

Removing ourselves from the hallway, we enter my office and I lean back on the closed door, thinking about what just transpired.

He’s the guy she slept with on the plane journey home. He’s the athlete.

I ’didn’t notice that he was staring at me while I thought about all of this in my head. He clears his throat, and I flick my eyes to the noise. We just stare at one another for an extended period of time. All I want to do is run and be alone, but I have to work. I need to work.

I straighten my shoulders and turn my work mode on once again.

“What can I help you with today?” I fold my arms over my chest and stand as tall as I could, trying to forget the fact that he just slept with a colleague of mine.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen, Carter. I didn’t know she worked here,” he begins his apology but I don’t need one. We’re not together.

“What can I help you with today?” I repeat myself with a little more of a bite in my tone. I felt a chill from my own words. I’ve never been like this before with someone, let alone a client.

“My shoulder.” He drops it and I nod.

“Sit on the bed,” I order him and he follows. get my tray of tape ready to strap him up in case he needs it. I push it over to where he’s sitting and ask, “Do you have a shirt on underneath?” He nods in response. “Can you take off your top?” I instruct him. I need to feel his muscles to see what’s going on with him. I would usually tell someone to remove their shirt too, but I’m not sure I can handle seeing him like that; not after that commercial.

He peels away his tight, fitting top to reveal his white shirt underneath. I lift his sleeve and feel his skin. I start having flashbacks of us in between the sheets on his old bed haunting my mind right now. The way he ground his hips into me with our heat mixing together.

I had to take my hands off him for a moment to regain my focus.

“Are you alright?” He turns his head towards me, inspecting my face. The truth is, I’m not. I’m the furthest thing from alright. My stomach is in knots. I’m so nervous being around him. I nod anyway and place my hands on him again.

I roll back the sleeve of his shirt to get a better look at it. No visible bruising, and everything looks to be in place.

“I need you to lift your arm up for me.” I tap his arm and he does as he’s told. I press my fingers into his skin to feel for something unusual or out of place internally. His muscles are tense because he has his arms lifted up, but they’re a little too tense. “I need you to relax, Nick,” I ask him. “Take a deep breath in and hold it for three seconds.” He does what I say and holds it in. “Good, now release it for me.” And he does again. His body relaxes but his muscles are still tense. “Do it again.” I instruct him once more and he does it again.

The tension has reduced but it’s still there.

“You’re too tense,” I tell him and he chuckles.

“I think we both know why.” He sucks in a breath and looks away from me. I recognize that, that was another moment that he should have kept inside his mind but he didn’t.

“Why?” I ask.

“It doesn’t matter.” He shakes his head and goes for another deep breath to carry out the routine again.

“No, tell me why you’re so tense. Maybe I could help. Is it Jody? She won’t come in,” I keep asking him, and he slowly but surely turns his head around to look at me once more. That look he’s giving me is making my heart beat erratically.

He shakes his head from side to side before he opens his mouth to say, “The only way you could help is to . . .” He pauses for a moment and squeezes his eyes shut. “Not be around me.” I take my hands off him as soon as he mentions that and step back.

“Then why did you come here?” I ask him, irritated and hurt by his words. I was already embarrassed about the weekend, and now he doesn’t want to be around me?

Why is he here? Is this a joke to him?

“Your team has a very capable physical therapist that you can use and won’t make you so tense, Nick. Use them if ’you want, it’s free of charge and one of the best in the country. I don’t know why you even bothered to come here unless it was to see your fuck buddy in the next room.” I push my trolley away that I was going to use to help him out with. I had the straps cut and ready to go since the appointment before lunch got canceled at a short notice. I took another person instead.

“Because I want the best. That’s why I came here, you’re the best at this, and I trust you.” He leaps off the bed and follows me. “It came out wrong, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. You make me so nervous,” he blurts out. It looks like he shouldn’t have, but he changes the topic again. “I just—I don’t know the physical therapists who work for the team. I know you—” I cut him off and stare back at him over my desk.

“No, you don’t. I’m completely different. I’m not the same pushover I once was—”

“I never thought of you as a pushover, Carter.” He sighs and runs his hands through his hair but winces a little in pain. This makes me rush to his side and touch his shoulder again.

“Sit down,” I order him again. He retakes his position on the bed and waits patiently for me to attend to him. “Can you do that again?” I ask him to run his hand through his hair once again and he does, giving me the same reaction. I dig my fingers to the spot I think that’s hurting him the most, and he curses under his breath then later apologizes for it. “Pull your arm back like this. Slowly,” I order him and guide his arm back. He bites on his lower lip, making my mind go into overdrive. I pull myself back before I lose my thoughts completely. This is harder than I thought.

“I can’t feel anything. Lift it back down then bend your elbow at ninety degrees for me. Keep that elbow as close to your side as you can. This might hurt a little again, but I’m going to push my hand against yours and you’re going to push back, okay?” I instruct him on how to do the resistance test and hope I can get something from it. He should be resting from now until the next game. There isn’t much time but he should be alright to play by that point. He may feel some pain but if someone straps him up correctly, it will be minimized.

As I push against his hand, I feel our fingers intertwine with one another as he does the same. My breath gets stuck in my throat as I miss the feeling of him holding my hand. His callous hands in mine makes mine seem smaller than they actually are. I quickly put my hand flat against his again and push to carry on with my work, slowly increasing the resistance to take my mind off what just happened. It happens too easily between us.

His face scrunches up in some pain but not enough for him to be completely uncomfortable. I ’most likely know what is going on with him.

“I think you might have rotator cuff tendinitis. I’ll give you a list of exercises you can do to help it. I’m assuming it comes and goes a lot,” I inform him as I move over to my computer to print him the exercises.

“Yeah, this time is very sore though,” he confesses and I nod, knowing how painful it can be.

“You should really get a second opinion from your team therapist. They might have better exercises to give you instead with the equipment in the gym they have. I don’t know what they have to offer.” He shakes his head as I wait for the sheets to print.

“I prefer you. As I said, I trust you,” he repeats himself. I can feel my cheeks starting to blush, making him smile. I remember him relishing in the fact that he could make me do that. He had that power over me.

“If it gets worse, you need to get an MRI scan, but these should help.” I lift the sheets off the printer and hand them over. He skims through them. “Try to avoid reaching overhead and lifting heavy things for the next three weeks. I know you have a game coming up, but you need to rest it until then.” I got the date mixed up for their home game, I thought it was yesterday when in fact it’s next Sunday. “Don’t use any slings, it’ll only make things worse. Use an ice pack to reduce the inflammation, get a light massage if you want. Stretch it every so often to prevent stiffness and please, please, for the love of God, do these exercises.” I place my two hands together, telling him he needs to stick to these or it won’t help him in the long run.

He smirks and chuckles back, staring down at the pictures of the cartoons carrying out the exercises he’s supposed to do. “I promise I will.” He puts them away and smiles down at me, making my heart leap into my mouth. I step away, afraid of what I might do. He might trust me, but I don’t trust myself. Not when he’s around.

“Okay, well, is that everything?” I ask and walk near the door to open once I see him nod. He gathers his phone and the shirt he took off so I could see his shoulder a little better and slings it over his other shoulder.

He follows me out the door as I walk him out to the reception area. I spin around quickly, ’not realizing how close he was to me. I can see some of my colleagues hovering around, wanting to see him again. I am about to turn my head and wave them off for gawking at him. It’s like they’re kids in school and want to see the new kid. He’s just a client. He’s also Nick ’ackson, Carter.

But I am stopped by the softness of his lips on my cheek. A harsh pulse rips through my entire body as I stand stock still. I can feel my traitor of a body leaning in for more until he pulls back. “Thanks, Carter.” He smiles, biting on his lower lip. I had to wipe my mind of the sinful thoughts that I was envisioning with his lips.

Pull yourself together, Carter.

“No problem . . .” My voice is weak.

“Could I book another time with you while I’m here?” he asks and I nod, pushing myself away and nearly stumbling over the Sydney’s chair. I didn’t want to look up and see if he saw that, but I could feel the heat radiating off my cheeks as I wave the mouse over the screen and click on the appointment calendar. “When would you recommend?” he asks and I flick through my schedule that she has access to.

“Um, three weeks from now? At twelve?” I offer as I stare up at him leaning over the desk with his bulging arms showcasing his strength and athleticism. He confirms that the time and date is fine.

“Perfect. I’ll see you then! You have the same number right?” he asks and I clear my throat out of habit and confirm that I still have the same number I used back in college. I could see the hint of hurt in his eyes when I confirmed that I still used my same number, the one he used to send texts to me with when he dumped me.

He knows I purposely ignored him, but I was hurting and he needs to understand that. I still am, and I know I shouldn’t be.

Nodding once more, he waves to the woman eavesdropping in the hallway with Ross hovering too for some eye candy. “Bye.” He smiles at them and Dallas, my manager. Each of them wave him off with hearts in their eyes.

I stand up, ready to leave the reception area and fix myself as I watch him leave. I run my hands along my thighs to stop them from sweating so much. He stops when he opens the door and turns back to face me.

“Bye, little one!” He leaves on that, and I stop breathing.