Chapter 22

Ellie's P.O.V

It's been 10 days. 10 days of no sleep, a crying baby, dirty nappies and 10 days since me and Kai had one of our first deep meaningful conversations. A lot has changed between me and Kai in the last few days,

Lucas and Oscar took on more of Kai's responsibilities so that he could spend more time with me and Freya, and by that I mean help me get the demon child to stop crying. We've tried everything; singing to her, rocking her in our arms, feeding and burping her, taking her a walk, went on a drive and we've took her to three, yes THREE doctors and they all say the same thing - there's nothing wrong with her. She just likes to cry, mainly at nights so that we get no sleep.

Don't get me wrong I love and cherish her with all my heart but I miss sleep, I haven't had a full nights sleep in ten days. I'd say I've had about 3 hours sleep every night from I've gave birth. Now Freya doesn't cry the whole time, half the time is me spent worrying about her sleeping and worrying if she's okay in her cot, the other half is her crying and trying to get her back to sleep.

Even though it's only been 10 days since Freya came into the world, I know she's already changed my life for the greater good. Everything has just been better since she was born. Yes that may be very hypocritical of me as her mother but she's just perfect, apart from the crying at night and keeping me and Kai awake until all hours of the morning.

Her being here has really brought me and Kai closer than ever. I still sometimes have my doubts about bringing a child into this world- especially with what her father does for a living. But then I see Kai with her and all them thoughts immediately leave my mind. He is amazing with her! Almost better than I am. He sings to her and it's the most extraordinary, unbelievable sight for a mafia boss but honestly it just warms my heart.

*Flashback*

I just made me and Kai a cup of coffee with a plate of toast each after realising that we both haven't ate anything all day. It's currently 3pm and we are both exhausted after being up all night with Freya. Just as I'm walking into our room I hear Kai talking- he's talking really weirdly

As I open the door the sight in front of me

makes my eyebrows raise and almost makes me drop the tray I'm holding with our food and drinks. Never did I ever think that I'd find Kai rocking a baby in his arms and singing her lullabies whilst looking at her as if she's the most amazing thing in the world.

As he stares lovingly down at our daughter my heart hurts with all these emotions all at once and thoughts race in my mind. Tears of joy spring in my eyes. The first and foremost of them all is how strange it is seeing Kai of all people as a father. You wouldn't even recognise this man if you were to look at him.

Guilt eats me up inside at how I almost took the opportunity for him to be a father away and tears swell in my eyes for a completely different reason now. I can't believe how utter selfish and cruel I was. Honestly who was I to even make that decision and take his rights away from him! He's showed me how wrong I was this past week with how amazing he's handled fatherhood so far. Don't get me wrong we both aren't experts and we are figuring new things out everyday, but we are figuring them out and doing this together.

I can't help but think how awful I was to run away with his unborn child and try and act like he was the villain. I know I wasn't thinking straight and all I could think of was my child being hurt and caught in the middle of all the mafia bullshit. I didn't even ask of raise any concerns with him, I just bolted. Now watching him rock Freya back and forth in his arms I've never been so happy to have been wrong before in my life.

Kai looks up and smiles at me before seeing the tray in my hands and ushering me over. I laugh at how he shoves a slice of toast into his mouth like a starved dog. He swallows it down with a big gulp of coffee and then kisses my forehead and continues to sing Twinkle Twinkle whilst sipping his coffee and holding me in one arm cuddling into his side, and Freya in his other arm swaying back and forth steadily to keep her from crying.

**

I'm currently laying in a hot bubble bath, Kai took Freya a drive around the neighbourhood to see if she will fall asleep. It's now turned 4am and I thought a nice hot bath would relax me enough and help me fall asleep. I don't think I've ever been this tired in my life.

Just as I felt my eyes closing there's a soft knock on the door. "Hey it's me" Kai whispers "We just got back, she's finally settled. I've got to go sort something out tomorrow so when your done come out and we can talk about it I'm going to put Freya to bed"

"Okay I'll be out in five, is everything okay? What do you need to sort?" I ask. I know he said we can talk about it after but I have a bad feeling in my stomach and I just need to know if everything is okay

"Yeah all good you don't have to worry, I'll talk to you when your out" he replies and then I hear I'm walk away.

I finish up in the bath and dry myself off before changing into my cozy pyjamas and walking out of the bathroom to see Kai laying sleeping on the Sofa next to Freya's cot. Freya is sound asleep. I smile loving how this is now my life. Walking over towards Kai, I feel bad waking him up but I don't want him hurting his back or getting a stiff neck. I shake him gently and he jumps up straight away eyes scurrying the room, obviously checking to see if there's any threats. He's always so alert, I know he has to be because of what he does for a living. He's always got to be one step ahead with multiple plans if he wants to stay alive. I push that thought to the back of my head, not wanting to dwell on it.

"Shh nothings wrong I just didn't want you sleeping on the couch and getting a sore back, come let's go to bed and we can talk in the morning" I whisper before grabbing his hand and walking over to our bed. This just feels so normal now. The past 10 days have been the best 10 days of my life! I love moments like these when we finally get Freya to bed and then we just lay and talk or cuddle into one another.

I look up at him only to find him looking down at me. "Marry me" he says. My eyes widen and my jaw drops in shock

"Wh-what" I stutter unsure if I heard him right. There's no way he's just asked me to marry him

"I'm being serious Ell, I love you so much, more than I ever thought possible. I never imagined being with someone like this, like you, someone who I love with my whole heart.  I always thought I'd end up having a married of convenience.  I know we've had a very difficult past full of fighting but we've also had a lot of good moments that I've cherished and will always cherish. We have so many differences between us but that's what makes us good for one another. I love you and Freya so much and I want to make you my wife. These past few days have turned me into a sappy asshole who pours his heart out and sings to his daughter but this is my life now and I don't ever want it to change. I'm not saying it'll all be sunshine and rainbows from here out cause it's life and it's a fucking thunderstorm half the time but with you in it by my side there will at least be a rainbow"

"I-" tears threaten to fall watching this man spill his heart out to me. He just called me his rainbow, I think my heart is melted into a puddle of mush. I don't even know what to say but before I get the chance to even say anything Kai's interrupting me

"I'm not finished, I know I haven't always treated you properly, I regret it everyday we are together. Don't get me wrong your not a walk in the park. You drive me crazy on the daily, in a good and bad way. Sometimes the anger I feel towards you is on a different level and it doesn't excuse my behaviour but I'm a dangerous man Ellie, it's my job and my life and I'm not going to hide that or change, but I promise you I will never ever lay a hand on you ever ever again! I will do everything I can to make you happy. And I don't want you to change. Apart from the attempts at running away because despite being my wife or not your mine and your not leaving me!"

By the time he's finished his speech tears are running down my face. I sit up to wipe them away and stare at him. He bought up so much from the past, things like how that one time he hit me which I forgot all about. How did I forget that? I know how because he made me fall in love with him. Despite how much I tried to get away from him there's no denying what my heart wants. Is this what Stockholm Syndrome feels like? The rational part of my brain knows this could be dangerous and being with someone like Kai with what he does for a living isn't the best idea but honestly I'm done listening to her. I shove those thoughts so deep down and lock them away, never to be thought of again. Because Kai is it for me. Despite my best attempts I fell love with him!  It took way too long but finally both my head and my heart are on the same page.

Yes he's dangerous, yes he can be harsh and stubborn and crazy and downright annoying but deep down beneath the mafia boss exterior he puts on for everyone is the guy I've fallen in love with. The guy who scared the absolute life out of me at the first time I met him. I thought he was going to kill me for sure and I'm surprised he hasn't over the years. We've been on such a rocky road and finally we are onto the smoothness.

After a long moment of silence and tension rising as I realised I haven't said anything yet, I grab his face and smash my lips on his. It only takes two seconds into the kiss for him to take control and deepen the kiss. We kiss each other with everything we have and only the fact that we have to come up for air do we pull away.

"Yes" I say before pouring my heart out to him. We lay there for hours talking about how sorry we our and bringing up everything from the past that was left unsaid before and swept under the rug. No stone has been left unturned by the time our heart to heart has finished and before we know it the sun is raising and casting an orange glow in the room whilst the birds chirp and sing away to their hearts content.

End of chapter

I'm so sorry to everyone who's been waiting SOOO LONG. I honestly haven't been on this app since the start of this year. I was close go deleting it and removing my books but then I remembered how many people actually love this story and how I promised you all an ending so here you go another chapter that gives me a direction for the story to go in!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter sorry again to everyone who's been waiting for so long and thank you so much to those who have been patient and stayed tuned.

I don't know how you done it!