Chapter 16a - A Lonely Dungeon - Marisa PoV

Once again I reached out for Alfred's waiting hand, letting myself be helped up a small, rocky slope. Abervale forest was treacherous to traverse, as there were only a few paths driven through its densely grown underwood, and none actually leading where I both wished and feared to be. So dozens of times, I had to rely on the paladin’s help, not only to fend off wild animals and prevent nefarious people from making a move on me but also to let myself be protected from the very forest itself.

A priestess’ robes were not made for traversing the wild, or even walking long distances in the first place. They were made to inspire awe and respect in others, with delicate, golden patterns being stitched into every piece of fabric that made up the otherwise pure white dress. Naturally, I couldn’t feel like a young princess who was led through the wilderness rather than the adult woman I was.

At least Alfred seemed to like this very image. He had readily agreed to accompany me during my long-due journey to the dungeon I had visited just weeks prior. It wasn’t the first time he had jumped at the first chance to fulfill my wishes and it wouldn’t be the last, as he barely made any secret of what he was thinking about me. It was only the fact that I had sworn my purity to Cilia herself that had made him reconsider actually making a move on me, respecting this choice, albeit reluctantly.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t an attractive man, quite the contrary. With his dark-blonde hair, his blue eyes, and his gentle smile he was the living dream of quite a few of the priestess’ apprentices, some of whom likely had only found their way to the temple because of him in the first place. But we were friends, the closest friends there could be, but there would never be more to it, a fact that he had to accept sooner or later. What would those girls think if they found out their source of envy wasn’t interested in the man in the first place, or men at all?

I could only chuckle at the thought, an action that was immediately noticed by the paladin who seemed to have eyes on his back just for this occasion. Alfred turned around and showed me a smile of his own, one that could easily steal hearts.

“That is much better!” He exclaimed. “I finally get to see you smile again!”

I shook my head. “I had a few rough weeks,” I explained. “Lots to think about.”

“And little sleep,” he said while looking at the dark rings under my eyes.

“That as well…”

“I just hope you find your answers. I can’t wait to have my old Marisa back.”

He was right. For weeks I had struggled with both guilt and countless questions, without even being able to dream about coming up with at least a single decent answer that didn’t involve simply praying for forgiveness. I was sure my actions had saved the girl from a fate I could only shudder when thinking about, but was being bound to a dungeon for all eternity that much better?

At least the girl had gotten a body or rather avatar when being bound to the dungeon, something only a handful of centuries-old dungeons had ever managed to produce. The mere fact that she was still sentient was already a blessing I could only explain by Cilia taking pity on the girl, as most dungeons seemed to react and grow by relying on instinct alone as if they were monsters themselves.

All things considered, the girl was more human than most if not all dungeons could ever wish for, or at least she would have been, hadn’t Cilia decided to make the girl one of her own on top of that already mind-blowing fact. A fox kin in this day and age? That alone would take Alfred’s breath away, given that their whole tribe had been extinguished thousands of years ago, so long ago in fact that they were only ever mentioned in myths and legends.

Of course, there were scholars and the temples as well, who were still trying to preserve the knowledge of the long-gone tribe, but for the common people living their day-to-day lives, the young girl would very well be indistinguishable from common beastkin.

I would never make that mistake, having studied Cilia and her kin for more than ten years - ever since I joined the temple at the age of twelve. Alfred, too, would never mistake those black and white tips on the girl’s ears and tail. Even though he has sworn to Idena, Goddess of Judgement, he has naturally learned about all of the major gods and goddesses. And Cilia, albeit having lost her own blood and people, was still considered among those.

I could only guess how Alfred would react upon finding out the goddess that was lost to the world for such a long time was finally active again, and had even started to deal with dungeons of all things for the first time in known history. It was common knowledge the ‘lonely goddess’ was too lost in grief to care about mortal matters. For her to finally overcome her loss would cause giant waves in the clergy and changes I couldn’t even guess how vast they were going to be.

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New temples would be built in Cilia’s honor, that much was for sure, and a town would be placed upon the very earth and mountain she had graced with her attention. Said dungeon town would be the target of many pilgrims and adventurers alike, all of them trying to catch the goddess’ eyes with their marvelous deeds or pure faith alone. And who knew what would happen if Cilia decided to make her very first dungeon her chosen one? Guilds would likely battle just to get a good spot in the quickly growing town!

In the end, even the King himself would be forced to make a move so as not to let the dungeon fall into the hands of the neighboring kingdoms. There would be no war breaking out over this - that much would be like spitting right into the goddess of Life’s face - but Abervale was already considered a border town, so there was plenty of room to argue.

“I think we are close” Alfred suddenly tore me out of my thoughts.

I followed his gaze only to be met with a very familiar mountain slope that seemingly grew out of the middle of a very large forest clearing. We were so close I had only a few trees still separating me from the meadow that led to the dungeon’s entrance. But of course, I was nowhere near ready for it.

Alfred immediately noticed my hesitation. He came up to me, reached for my hand, and practically led me onto the first patch of colorful flowers. There he looked deep into my eyes, as if searching for the clue for my trouble, to only sigh when he found none.

“Is this dungeon you want to go to so dangerous? You said it was relatively new!”

“It- it is.”

“But you seem troubled by the very idea of going there. Is this about the dungeon break?”

I could only nod at his assumption, having lied about almost everything that happened inside of the dungeon for the sake of the girl who was now its living avatar. While this would certainly get me in trouble with the head priest and would likely hurt Alfred’s feelings as well, I wasn't yet ready to push the girl into the politics and power dynamics that came with being a dungeon avatar.

"I heard three people died in the dungeon break."

A cold shiver ran over my skin as I thought about my former employers. It was one of many duties a priestess had to fill in for missing healers whenever a group prepared to venture into dangerous territory. This was one important way to finance the temples we were living in, as those small communities couldn’t thrive and expand with donations alone. This particular group had promised the head priest quite a sum for my services, so of course I had to go.

It was only when we were on the way to the dungeon that things started to sound off. The men in my party of four had made no secret about what they had been tasked to do, albeit putting it in much nicer words. A human sacrifice turned into an experiment, a wicked ritual into a prayer. And by all I knew now, it wasn’t even the first time they had led an innocent victim to their untimely deaths. It was only sheer luck that I was selected as the healer the last time, and even more so that I knew of Cilia, who is known to value life and family above all, things the poor girl was in desperate need of.

But honestly, even I was surprised the ritual worked as the scholars had thought, as it essentially strengthened the girl's spiritual voice thus making her prayer heard even by the otherwise elusive goddess. I had believed my words would merely make the men’s efforts fail and let the girl live for another day. In the end, I had unknowingly saved her for good instead - if she liked being in the position she was now, that was.

With a sigh, I walked after Alfred and towards the mountain face. I could already see the opening to the dungeon in the distance, even without having found any answers to my urging questions yet. But after days and weeks of struggling with my conscience, what more would those few minutes help? I could only hope she was in a good state of mind right now.

Chances were she was feeling lonely after being abandoned by her family and friends alike. So of course she would need a shoulder to lean on and bawl her eyes out or at least talk to someone willing to listen. I was taught a lot of things during my time at the temple, and taking care of dying and struggling people in the cruelest and most hostile places and living situations was only one aspect of work. I had seen men, women, and children die while their loved ones still prayed for my magic to work, had seen the worst wounds one could imagine, and while those days certainly left their scars, I was surely more than prepared to face a single, lonely girl.

“Are you alright?” Alfred asked me another time after having done so dozens of times today alone. “We can still return and come back another day!”

“No, I have to do this now…” I answered half reluctantly. “Otherwise I will never do it.”

A gentle smile grew on Alfred’s lips, enchanting even me for a tiny moment. “I will be with you.”

“Thank you…” I answered in half a whisper. “It means a lot.”

We didn’t speak a single word after that. It was only after reaching the unassuming hole in the cliff face that Alfred spoke out his thoughts.

“Not even a gate or an entrance hall to this thing. The dungeon really is new.”

“And lonely…”

Alfred could only look at me confused, but I quickly shook my head, not daring to answer the question yet. There was so much I had already burdened my soul with, what more was buying that girl a little more time by keeping silent about her existence for all this time?

“It is nothing.”