94. You love him, don't you?

Lauren.

Have you ever felt like you’ve been hit by an over speeding train? Or like your heart has just been dropped in a mincer?

That’s what I was feeling right now when Sebastian uttered that one word. Mate.

The goddess must hate me. Most think that I am blessed because I’m her executioner but they are probably wrong. So fucking wrong because just like before she has managed to rip my life apart.

Casting me back into darkness.

Who would have thought that the woman I’ve been dreaming about, the woman who I’ve had to share in her pain would turn out to be Sebastian’s fated mate?

“Red” I hear Sebastian calling out my name but I ignore him.

I take a step back from Mayra and avoid Sebastian at the same time. She’s unconscious right now but still alive.

When the goddess spoke to me and told me what I needed to do. I hoped that I would find Mayra alive, but now that she is, I don’t know what to do or feel. But relief isn’t among the feelings that are raging war inside me.

Turning my back to her. I start helping the others. Sebastian was her mate. I was sure he would help her but I just couldn’t. I needed to get the job done. To finish my mission. So with that, I push my feelings aside and focus.

“Everything will be okay Ren, I promise you” Blue tries to comfort me, but at this point I wasn’t sure who she was trying to convince.

It’s obvious what would happen now. Just like with Darren I would be pushed aside in favor of the true mate. The thought of that tears into. Almost bringing tears to my eyes.

I finish untying the rest just as Hunter and some of the warriors arrive.

“Alpha, Luna…we’re done, all the humans are dead and the rescued wolves are outside” Hunter tells us.

If he only knew that I wouldn’t be their Luna for much longer. That the woman that was supposed and fated to be their Luna has been found. He wouldn’t be giving me such respect.

“Help us get these ones outside” I tell them with a fake confidence when inside I felt utterly destroyed.

They go into action. One of the warriors tries to take Mayra but Sebastian snarls at him. Bearing his fangs.

I watch as he gently lifts her from the gurney and holds her close. The sight shatters me. He couldn’t have made his intentions any clearer.

Without sparing him or anyone a glance. I leave the room, with my head held high. I may not be his Luna anymore but I was still an Alpha’s child.

Getting outside I allow the fresh to work its way into my lungs. I felt dead. Felt like my heart has been ripped open once again.

I count about forty or so werewolves who had been captured. They were in a horrible state and I knew that it would take a lot to bring them back to their former self. Not only physically but also mentally.

I was just wondering how we were going to get them back to Sebastian’s pack when I saw people and vehicles breaking through the forest.

Help. Had Sebastian arranged this? I wondered.

My assumptions are quickly shattered when the cars stop and Sylvia gets out from one of them. After assessing things, her eyes land on mine and she comes to me. She then pulls me into a hug.

“Everything is going to work out. Trust in the goddess” she tells me.

She must have known what we would find. Or more specifically, who we would find. I wanted so badly to believe her but I couldn’t. I’ve seen this play out once before. I wasn’t about to let it destroy me like again.

She then starts giving out instructions. All the wounded start being helped into the vehicles while I stare at the moon completely lost. My mind is running miles per second. Making plans in advance.

“Lauren” I jump when his hand lands on my shoulder.

I turn to look at him but it’s too painful to do that so I look at the ground.

“They’re almost done…is Hunter ready?” I refer to what he had instructed Hunter to do.

“Ren”

“I’m tired and I just want to sleep…So could you tell him to hurry up a bit?” I ask, ignoring the way his voice sounds torn.

I couldn’t stand here. I couldn’t be this near to him. I turn about to leave but he grasps my hand and stops my movement.

I continue looking down. Refusing to look at him. Afraid of what I would find there. Maybe, love or relief at having found his mate.

He brings me to his chest. Hugging me but I don’t hug him back.

“I’m sorry…so fucking sorry” he mumbles. His voice full of emotions.

I don’t know what he was sorry for. Maybe because he knew he was about to end our contract. Which had developed into something more. At least from my side.

I don’t reply. Don’t say a word. I just pull myself from him and walk away. Without looking back.

Minutes later I watch as the building burns to ashes. After I’ve made sure there is absolutely nothing left except a charred ground where the building used to be. I change into Blue and run.

********************

By the time I get back to Sebastian’s house. It’s already day time. During my run. I made some decisions and it was time to implement them.

I get inside the house and find Sylvia in the living room.

The house was eerily quiet for some reason.

“Where is Sebastian?” I ask her.

I take the t-shirt she hands me and put it one.

“He’s at the hospital with Mayra” she replies.

That sentence manages to squeeze my heart in a way that Darren’s betrayal never did.

I push those feelings aside.

“What happened, Sylvia? I thought his mate died. He felt the bond break” I asked her I was confused. Could it be that Sebastian lied to me? Because that was the only explanation given his mate is very much alive.

“He didn’t lie to you” she says, reading my mind. “The torture that Mayra endured broke her wolf and thus shattered the mate bond. That’s what Sebastian felt. Of course like any normal person, he assumed that she was dead especially when he started showing signs of going feral.”

“The moment he came close to her, he felt the tiny spark of the broken bond. And fang recognized his mate even though she is probably broken beyond repair” she finishes.

I sit there and absorb all that she is telling me. If Sebastian felt a spark of the broken bond then it means that there was a possibility of reviving it.

“You love him, Don't you?” Sylvia asks out of nowhere.

I nod at her. It was one of the things I realized and accepted during my long run. But isn’t the whole thing just tragic? That I realized I was in love with him when he found his fated mate and I had no chance with him.

“What are you going to do?”

I sigh and breathe through the pain in my chest. “What must be done”

I loved a man that wasn’t meant to be mine once I held on to that love and it nearly destroyed me. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake. I knew what I had to do.