Chapter 3: Party (Part 2)

The apartment was full of people Ryan didn't know.

When Sam had told him a few people were coming over, Ryan had expected one or two friends. Not wall-to-wall humans.

After they'd eaten all that pizza, Ryan had put on his noise-cancelling headphones, a graduation present from everyone at the group home, and sat down to do the reading required before the first day of school. Finally finished, he removed his headphones and realized how good they were at cancelling out noise. Rock music and loud conversation leaked from beyond his bedroom door.

Ryan checked his phone. It was nine p.m. on a Sunday night, and Ryan had his first day of classes tomorrow. He wondered if his new roommates would hate him if she told them to keep it down.

He eased past the cluster of people in the hallway. There wasn't quite enough room for him, but the green-haired kid he bumped into only turned to him and smiled. "You must be Ryan."

"Uh, yeah," Ryan said. "Nice to meet you?"

"I'm Tatum. They/them pronouns." Tatum stuck out their hand, and Ryan shook it.

Unsure how else to respond, Ryan said, "He/him."

"Cool." Turning to the group they'd been talking to, Tatum rapid-fire named everyone: "Jon he/him, Van he/him, Natalie she/her, and Charlie they/them."

Ryan smiled blankly. He would never remember any of their names. Or their pronouns. Although the one named Van was checking Ryan out in a way that made him feel very uncomfortable.

"Just gonna get a drink," he said, and hurried toward the kitchen.

"Ryan!" Pete called from one of the high stools at the kitchen bar.

One look at Pete's red cheeks and Ryan knew he'd been drinking. Ryan was no stranger to alcohol, but he'd never seen Pete drink. They'd never hung out together outside of the group home environment. Stupidly, he hadn't considered what Pete would be like without anyone supervising him, although grocery shopping should have been a warning.

"Did I miss the party invite?" Ryan asked, leaning on a free patch of counter, only to discover it was wet with something red. He lifted his arm and found a paper towel to wipe it off, then soaked as much of it off the counter as he could.

"Nah, Harper invited a couple people over and then all these other people showed up. But it's cool, the roomies know them. Most of them." Pete shrugged and slurped something from a red solo cup.

"What are you drinking?" Ryan asked.

"Gin and juice," Pete slurred, and wobbled to his feet. "Want one? It's easy to make. Kool Aid and gin. Thass it."

So that was the sticky red substance all over the counters. "How many have you had?"

"Juss two. But they're strong. I'll make yoursh shtronger so you can catch up."

Pete set about playing bartender, and several people saw the alcohol and meandered over, demanding Pete make them a drink too.

"Look at this mess!" Sam shouted, pointing at the spilled Kool-Aid. She grabbed a sponge and started mopping. "Why are you all here, anyway?"

"Come on, it's your annual back to school party!" said a girl with buzzed hair and multiple facial piercings.

Sam was unmoved. "Annual? You mean like that one time last year?"

"Yeah?"

"For real, guys, our new roommates just moved in. You're making a bad impression." Sam tossed the now-red sponge in the sink. "And I hope you've all introduced yourselves to Pete and Ryan here."

Suddenly the center of attention, Ryan froze with a forced smile on his face. Beside him, Pete waved and said, "I don't remember anybody's name except Zac's."

Ryan didn't even remember Zac.

"My question is," said Van, squeezing through and resting his elbows on the counter with his chin in his hands, "are you single, Ryan?"

Several people groaned and someone muttered, "Keep it in your pants, Van." Harper just slapped him upside the head and glared.

"Van's our resident fuckboi," Sam explained.

"I don't appreciate being slut-shamed," Van countered.

Ryan reached for his red solo cup and took a swallow, grimacing at how strong Pete had made the drink.

"Maybe you could let him breathe for a minute before you attack him," Sam said.

"What? He's hot." Van grinned at Ryan, who needed to take another swig.

He could feel his face getting hot, which was weird. Back before he'd come out to the whole school in spectacular fashion at the winter ball junior year, lots of girls had looked at him like Van was now. The difference, Ryan supposed, was that he wasn't at all attracted to those girls. Not that he was attracted to Van. Or was he? He was single now. He could let himself look at other guys. When he was with Jacky, he hadn't done that. Except that time they watched porn together.

Over the rim of his cup, he tried to get a look at Van. He was a little shorter than Jacky, but also had dark hair. Dark eyes, though. A square jawline, clean-shaven.

Ryan still didn't think he was attracted to Van.

"Well? Are you single?" said one of the others Ryan had been introduced to at the door. He – they? – looked almost as hungry as Van.

"It's complicated," Ryan said.

"Whaddya mean?" Pete said. "You and your boyfriend broke up last night."

"Oooooh," came the chorus, and Ryan took another drink instead of smacking Pete like he wanted to. He saw money exchange hands in the crowd, with the winner saying, "I knew he was gay! Sam wouldn't let two straight guys move in with them."

But Van eased back. "All right, it's still fresh. That's cool." He smirked. "I can wait."

"Can you?" Sam asked with heavy sarcasm.

The crowd dispersed and Ryan sipped at his drink. "Ugh, this is awful."

Pete had pulled out a huge bag of Cheetos and was shoveling handfuls into his mouth. "You're welcome."

Jordan wandered into the kitchen area wearing pajama pants and an off-the shoulder sweatshirt over a tank top, her hair up in a messy bun. "What time's your first class tomorrow?" she asked, cracking open a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Eight." He hadn't thought about how early that was until now.

Jordan nodded with a knowing grimace. "Same. I can help you figure out the T and all."

"That would be great, thank you," Ryan exhaled. He had studied the map of campus all summer and he still felt like he was going to get lost.

"Oh god." Pete paused mid-chew.

Ryan looked up from his internal organizing. All the color had drained from Pete's face. "You good?" he asked cautiously.

In response, Pete jumped up and hurried to the bathroom, ricocheting off the kitchen counter and the wall.

Ryan set down his drink and followed Pete, nodding at Sam who watched with concern. Sure enough, retching sounds preceded the visual of Pete hunched over the toilet.

For the next twenty minutes Ryan sat on the bathroom floor while Pete moaned against the porcelain bowl. "I'm dying," Pete said, more than once.

"You'll live, I swear," Ryan told him. "You're gonna feel like shit for a while, though."

Pete was silent for a time, and Ryan checked that he was just passed out before relaxing back against the bathtub and pulling out his own phone to check his schedule and look at the campus map.

How's the apartment? Monica had texted a few hours ago. None of his other friends had texted, but he knew they were all moving into their own dorms and probably dealing with first night parties and social events on campus. Monica had gotten into Northeastern and it gave Ryan a small measure of comfort that she was in the same city.

You'll have to come by and see it sometime, he texted back. Maybe when Pete hasn't had too much to drink

Monica responded immediately. Oh no!

He'll be fine, I don't think he's ever been drunk before. Ryan hoped Pete had only had two drinks like he'd said. Are you moved in yet?

All moved in

Me and the roomie are doing our nails

She texted a pic of her and a girl with wavy brown hair grinning, their hands held up to show their manicures.

I figured you'd be out socializing

We've got the door open, but also we have early classes. Don't want to be hungover on the first day!

Ryan nodded. Wise words, he texted. He left Pete alone for a minute while he retrieved his laptop from their room, then proceeded to look over the syllabus for each of his classes again, making sure he'd done the prerequisite assignments. The last thing he wanted was to fall behind on his first day. Then he pulled up the campus map so he could look at it on a larger screen, and was studying it when his phone vibrated with a text.

How did you leave things with Jacky?

Monica didn't even know that Jacky had broken up with him. But she clearly knew something was up.

We broke up, Ryan typed, but he couldn't bring himself to hit send. He hadn't told Monica yet. That would make it real. Pete wasn't exactly Mr. Emotional when it came to these things. Monica would be at the door with a pint of Rocky Road ice cream and a "Legally Blonde" DVD and start listing every gay guy she'd met at school so far to set him up with a rebound. He had barely even begun to process the idea of being single. A dozen times today he'd wanted to pick up his phone and text Jacky about something or other.

"Uh, sorry, I need to use the bathroom?" came a voice from the doorway, the tall one with the shaved head—their name was Charlie, if Ryan was remembering correctly. Separate from the group, Ryan could take a moment to notice Charlie's complete androgyny: the muscular shoulders on their delicate frame, the blue-black hair that swooped over one black-rimmed eye and highlighted a square jaw.

"Oh—" Ryan scrambled to his feet, trying to balance his phone on his laptop without either device crashing to the tile floor. "Sorry, I'll just—hold on, I have to get him up—"

He set the laptop on the sink and then reached for Pete. Pete flailed when Ryan gripped him under the armpits, and in slow motion Ryan saw his laptop start to fall.

Charlie jumped in and saved it from destruction, but didn't catch the phone before it hit the floor with a sharp crack.

"Oh fuck," Charlie said, and picked up the phone while Ryan tried to balance Pete's dead weight. They pressed the home button and the screen lit up, revealing a spiderweb of cracks in the corner. "It still works, at least." They offered Ryan a half-smile. "Here, which room is yours?"

Ryan nodded his head at the one across the hall and to the left, and Charlie darted out. They returned without the electronics and took one of Pete's arms. Together, Ryan and Charlie carried Pete into their room and flopped him onto Ryan's bed, as there was no way they'd get him up on the top bunk. Pete groaned upon impact, but rolled over on his own. Ryan dragged the trashcan over to the bedside.

"He's a lightweight, huh?" Charlie asked.

"I don't think he's ever had alcohol before." Ryan picked up his phone. A new screen was going to cost money that Ryan didn't have. Charlie was right, though; the phone did seem to work, despite the cracks. Back at the group home, lots of kids had cracked screens.

Through the cracks, Ryan could see that Monica had texted him several times, and there was another notification, this one from Snapchat: Andrew JACKY Jennings has sent you a message.

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What do you think Jacky sent Ryan??